Princesscipal Celestia; or, A Lesson On Universal Constants and Power Levels · 3:27am Apr 8th, 2017
Princess Celestia is in charge. Whether she is powerful, or competent, or even mildly sane is variable, but that which remains is that what Sun Horse says goes. Regardless of the story, regardless of the universe, Princess Celestia always runs the show, at least at the start. No matter the size of the show.
Let's get this started.
First, the obvious. Within the show's canon itself, Princess Celestia is the top of the food chain. The closest that anyone else can come is being the ruler of another country, or otherwise some two-bit usurper whose ass she already kicked some centuries prior (your decision which category Chrysalis the Unloved falls under). Dealing with the simple absolutes of what is presented to us, there is not a higher authority to which Celestia will bow. Even Harmony itself, that inscrutable cosmic force which sadly lacks a face that one could readily punch, seems more of an ally than a commander. The highest that anything can aspire to is to be Celestia's equal.
And now, let us turn to fan fiction. In fan fiction, despite what the sheer mass of accusatory stories would have you believe, Celestia is always the most powerful version of herself that the story can allow her to be.
If the setting you're working with has beings that officially get classified as gods, Celestia is one of them. She stands equal to divine councils, argues on behalf of her mortals when the other gods try to vote for an apocalypse, and even in a setting where she is explicitly stated to be less powerful than the others or is even a mortal among gods, they are never stronger than her. Whether by force of deception or cleverness or just never being in a position where the others can do anything to her, Celestia is not surpassed.
When you write a story, and you explicitly decide that no, the alicorns are not immortals/gods/any more special than a sodding earth pony, Celestia still stays on top of the totem pole. When she's mortal, she's just one of the most brilliant political minds there have been in literally thousands of years, or a nigh-unbeatable warrior who metaphorically rests on a throne of skulls and blood, or simply the most qualified pony to run the country by dint of having been around long enough to memorize all the laws.
Likewise, if you decide to scale the events of the MLP universe down to a high school level and make them all humans, it makes sense that Celestia would become the principal. Aloof, not constantly engaged in the day-to-day activities of her students, but still unquestioningly in charge and wielding supreme authority over the tiny world that the story occupies. Principal Celestia is logically what Celestia would be in a high school AU. So it makes sense that she's just a principal in Equestria Girls, right?
Wrong.
As we've previously established, whatever setting you're in, whatever rules you're operating by, Celestia occupies the highest level of power that she could theoretically possess. So, in order for Celestia to be the principal of a high school, and nothing else, that would have to be literally the most powerful position that can be reasonably assumed to exist within the setting's universe. In other words, the high school would have to be the universe.
The story would have to never leave the high school. It'd probably be called Equestria High instead of Canterlot High. Each city's different culture would be represented with a different, highly specialized clique that you could theoretically simplify as a normal high school cliché but which would lose a lot in the translation. Canterlot as the popular kids, Manehattan as the young entrepreneurs, Appleloosa as... I don't know, the Save the Trees Club?
But it does leave high school. A lot. From the Cakes' quasi-Starbucks teen hangout spot to Camp Everfree, it cannot be denied that there's more to EQG than just the school, at least in terms of square mileage. So, Celestia can't be just a principal of a high school.
And so, we bear witness to the logic that resulted in the creation of Celestia dé Sol, Crown Princess of Equestria and Principal of Canterlot High School. A series of outlandish conclusions that were drawn purely in service of finding a way to justify submitting a story about a high school principal to a contest about princesses.
...Sweet Shadowfax, I need a drink.
Honestly, I'd have just accepted a story about Celestia reigning over her little scholastic kingdom without giving her an actual throne. And given how you signed up for Warrior, maybe punching Abacus Cinch in her big, reputable face.
Still, I'm hardly one to look down on strange logic and absurd conclusions.
4488283 See, I would have asked these questions, but I assumed that it would be seen as generally bad form to ask the main judge for help on an idea that I had so boldly thrown out there, and proclaimed nobody could guess the direction I was going with it.
Also, it was this or some bog-standard story about Principal Celestia inexplicably owning a magic shotgun so she could do battle with Sunset Shimmer's demon form. I say I made the better choice.
4488292
It's probably in her closet
4488294 And there we have another reason. Knowing that that story existed, but not knowing its specifics, I was worried that I would be accused of just copying someone else's work. Coming up with the weirdest scenario possible seemed a good way to avoid that.
Well said, and that is pretty much exactly why I so dislike Tina and Lucy. They are just insults to the glory and power of the Royal Sisters. The human 5 are just pale, flat, second rate shadows of their pony counterparts. But at least not the massive change in everything from Nigh-immortal demigoddesses who rule over their nation without question and control the very heaven's themselves...... to pathetic, mortal, mundane, school administrators.
And also why I so prefer your take to the 'real' version.
4488283
... I really want to see this now.
Still I'm more interested to see how d Sol deals with Sunset slipping into Alpha Bitch mode and trying to rule the school.
4488310 What I really don't get is why you or any of the other readers even think Sunset's fall to the dark side would still happen in the dé Sol timeline. She's been almost aggressively introduced to a cast of fun friends, she has a new mentor who understands her problems perfectly, and the final chapter strongly implies that Sunset can return to Equestria with fanfare and celebration the moment the portal opens.
What reason, what motivation, what in the world could possibly motivate this version of Sunset Shimmer to try and take over both worlds?
4488322 it's Sunset, and her doing that is kind of the whole catalyst for everything else that happens...
So mostly Narrative Causality.
I could see things that might push her to slip into her darkness, push side those trying to hep her. Likely not as over the top, extreme, and idiotic as canon Sunset went, but I could still see things leading to her slipping into a the dark place inside of her she's already shown she has. But for better reasons then just "I'm a bitch". Sense of isolation, fear of returning after so long, knowing how long it's been in Equestria and how much as changed, fear of losing her friends here and having to choose between one world or the other, getting worse as the time of her decision gets closer. Pushes away her friends in the school because she's already trying to prevent from being hurt when she leaves, if she leaves, which just further feeds into the spiral...
Try to take over the worlds.. yeah not likely she'd fall that far, but lash out in fear and anger over something, maybe try to merge the worlds ala Sci-Twi to avoid losing either one..... possibly.
I could see ways that she could still end up making mistakes she regrets and that end up leading to later events well.... but they would all make far more sense and work so much better then EQG did.
4488330 ...Dammit, you're right. And here I was, thinking I'd completely circumvented Sunset Shimmer's true fall.
Heh... Well. There's the sequel idea I was looking for.
Considering how it can be implied she has a similar role in Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns, I believe it's reasonable to imply something similar for EqG's Principal Celestia...
4488334 At the same time, "Princess Celestia is the principal of a school, therefore Principal Celestia is a princess" sounds like child logic. And not the wise-beyond-one's-years type either.
To be fair, the first EQG movie was centered only on Canterlot High, so it would make sense for the first movie.
However, for all we know, the MLP universe is based on the dreams of a madman who put too many shrooms in his wine. And as such, the realm of coherent storytelling is in a constant state of flux. This would also explain the candy colored horses...
4488338 I believe I stated "similar", not "same", dear Moriarty...
4488379 Hush now, child.
4488382 Only for you, Morty...
4488384 blushes
Now i imagine equestria Twilight in Equestria Girls universe, trying to leave the school ground and as she comes to the gate she just stares at a empty void beyond the gate...
4488333 YAY! I are helping!
Can't wait to see it and sure it'll be amazing.
4488413
I would read a fic where that is the only thing that happens...
A really interesting analysis - I always thought that Celestia was a principal in EQGverse due the fact that even in the show, Celestia was portraited more towards as a wise teacher than a ruler.