Review #69 - Spitfire's Nickname, Forensic Punology, A Better World · 5:47am Mar 7th, 2017
Well, yeah... I now have today's review, isn't that nice? Anyway, time to promote stuff:
-Flashfic -A group made by Loganberry for short fics. First official prompt starts on April 1st to allow time for more people.
-Her Soldier, We -An amazing fic that fills in some of the discrepancies of the pilot episodes. Also featured in The Royal Canterlot Library.
EDIT: Woohoo!! 50 followers!!! 
EDIT#2: Changes to story 3 review.
And the review:
Spitfire's Nickname by ArtHeart
Forensic Punology by Rambling Writer
A Better World by The Spirit of Evil
As always, I will put down my recommendations, but I truly hope that you to make the choice on whether to read a fic or not yourself.
Spitfire's Nickname by ArtHeart
(Comedy, Random, Slice of Life)
The true nickname of Spitfire. Rated T for slight language.
Review
This one is mostly a slice of life fic, with the ONE comedic moment in all of 1,200 words. Rainbow Dash in this one is... not right. She seems impulsive and uncontrolling of her actions. She's also a little forced with her reaction to things. Spitfire in this one seems a bit tame, and not reacting to things in the way she should. Twilight is also in this fic, and she, too, feels off. She is the "always right, fixes everything" type of pony, and that is just not her. The characters in this one are all just wrong. They don't act like they would, they don't react like they should, it's just off. I better talk about other things before I rant about that. This story, though, really should have been half the size. It is simply too drawn out for the one moment of comedy.
This one's greatest weakness would have to be the characterizations. If it had better ones, it wouldn't be too bad of a fic. But as it is:
Recommendation: Not Recommended. (For all the things above).
Forensic Punology by Rambling Writer
(Comedy, Slice of Life)
When Twilight suggests she and Rainbow Dash visit an old crime scene, Rainbow leaps at the opportunity. Murders, mystery, drama, action -- who doesn't love that? It's sure to be a riveting story for the ages. Sadly for Rainbow Dash, bad puns ensue.
Review
This one is, um... what? This is, perhaps, one of the most deserving of the comedy/ slice of life combo I have ever read. Twilight in this one is hilarious, and her delivery of the puns is extraordinary. She is just, perfectly done in this. You would have to read it to find out what I mean. Rainbow Dash, though, has the absolute best reactions to the puns. Like, these characters are perfect for this fic... but you would really have to read it to know. How is it that you got the pacing near perfect, Rambling?
This one does have weaknesses, though. And its greatest one would be how few puns there are in this. It leaves it feeling a little... lacking.
Recommendation: Highly Recommended. (This is a great fic, even if it does feel a little lacking in the pun department).
Edits pending:
A Better World by The Spirit of Evil
(Adventure, Dark)
The cutie map sends the mane six to an alternate universe where crime and villainy have been eliminated, and their counterparts ruthlessly enforce Harmony. In their most difficult friendship mission yet, Twilight and her friends will find their strengths, philosophy, and morality tested to greater lengths than ever before. What will our ponies find in a world with no crime, no victims, no pain... and no choice?
Review
This one is quite the adventure story, and there are quite a few dark themes throughout this. Also, there is a worth mentioning amount of comedy between the characters, and slice of life stuff in here. All these characters are simply amazing. Dude, I'm not sure how you did this, but man, these characters are just amazing. The only gripe I have with any of them is Fluttershy. She is a little too timid in my opinion, but how she is is acceptable too. A-Twilight's fall seems to bring up some controversy in the comments of this story. In my opinion, it was a little bit forced, but nearly every villain's downfall is (Look at Starlight, Discord, etc.).
Second paragraph because it helps me organize my thoughts. Now, this fic does have some interesting themes. The main one for me being Darkness within the characters. This fic does a good job portraying the moral gray areas for characters and their choices. The character that struggles with this the most would be Twilight, and how she always chooses to save her friends. Like how in "Twilight's Kingdom," she would rather plunge Equestria into... whatever Tirek was trying for... than lose her friends. In this fic, however, we can see Twilight struggle with those choices more. There are some other major themes within this fic, though. They are: Safety vs Security, Self-forgiveness, and the Nature of Friendship. One of the things the author asked me, was if he was biased towards freedom in this fic. I would have to say no. I say no because, unlike many other stories I've read, including real novels, this one points out the flaws in the Main 6's philosophy and the benefits of the A-Main 6's methods. Now, this one's overall plot could have used some work, as sometimes things just happen to work at just the right time, but let's be honest, who doesn't have this problem in some way, shape, or form?
To conclude this mile long fic review, the greatest weakness would have to be, well, tied for plot/ pacing considering how similar they are in this fic. The plot is sometimes a little weak, (I would say where but I would pretty much have to read the thing again to find what I'm remembering), which mean that the pacing has to be sped up in those areas.
Recommendation: Highly Recommended. (This fic, even though it has a few drawbacks, is truly a work of art. Also, extremely few errors ever since I helped edit it).
Random Thought For the Third Fic: Well, I hope that's better...
Decided to clarify a tiny bit in case this feels like it doesn't say enough.
I mean as opposed to the standard "villains are evil, good guys are perfect" writing style. Another way to put it would be, "There are heroes and villains on both sides."
Thanks very much for the plug! Very kind of you.
You definitely seem to have a good opinion of Rambling Writer's abilities. I must admit, I hadn't read anything of theirs before you started posting, but I quite liked No Longer the Greatest and have added a couple more RW fics to my RiL list as a result of these reviews. So thanks for alerting me to them!
4446689
Pretty much the same to you, but with different authors/ stories and on your reviews...
An excellent review, I'm glad to hear your thoughts on some of the themes in the story. I think you're right that the plot feels a bit dragged on in some spots, I'll work to make a more flowing narrative next time.