Story Reviews » SA Reviews #99 · 3:02am Mar 6th, 2017
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“So how’s the married life treating you?”
One of Red’s fuzzy ears twitch, his tail lashing back and forth. He didn’t answer Intern or even acknowledge his presence, instead keeping his face rooted towards his console monitor.
Intern, seated at his own but much much smaller workstation, raised an eyebrow. “That bad, huh?”
“I don’t wanna talk about it,” came Red’s terse reply.
“Ah, okay.” Taking the hint, Intern returned to his work.
For all of five seconds.
“I hear Ferret’s been popping in and out of everyone’s screen chat lately, demanding they go write. I mean, literally poking her head out of the screen. Did she get bit by a radioactive twittermite or something?”
Red slammed his paw down on his keyboard. “Look, ever since she’s gotten her meta-powers, Ferret’s been just a little difficult to live with, alright? So shut up and get the reviews out!”
Intern winced and looked away. “Sorry. You’re right, none of my business.” He tapped away at his keyboard for a few seconds then hit enter. “But this is.”
ROUND 99
On the eve of the Day of Reaping, the start of the Equestrian Harvest, it is traditional that a legend be told over supper: the legend of how the traditions surrounding the Day of Reaping came to be. It is a story of love, ambition, and vengeance.
Long before Equestria, a grand Unicorn King maintains a splendid garden. On one of his travels he brings a scorpion back to live within it. That scorpion, resentful of being removed from her home, sets out to have her revenge.
I have to say, I haven’t read a story that was about a scorpion before. Not a metaphor, or a donut steel OC name, but an actual factual scorpion. This is a dramatic tragedy between that scorpion and a unicorn king, and it’s an emotional roller-coaster.
The structure and writing style lends itself well to the legendary retelling, and all the characters act appropriately as archetypes more than their own characters. But that is not a criticism; the story quickly and effectively draws us into the mythical era, wherein events Twilight Sparkle herself might balk at occur regularly. Best of all is the story flows naturally, avoiding the easy trap of letting a magical world be artificial and contrived. This is the old kind of magic fairy tales are meant to warn you about instead of delight in.
It’s been awhile since I’ve read a story like this. This is a fairy tale, through and through. The imagery, the structure, the wording, and the moral all come together to bring about a piece that wouldn’t feel out of place in an anthology.
All the characters are original here but please don’t let that deter you. All characters in fiction were once original at one point, our cute little ponies of FiM being no exception. And I really came to like the main characters of this piece as they changed and grew up alongside each other.
If there’s anything I’ll criticize about the story, it’s that the author sometimes spells out the symbolism that is being used, rather than let the readers come to their own conclusions. A little subtlety goes a long way to get a tale talked about and analysed. I could also say that with a little tweaking, this wouldn’t be a pony story at all, but I like the idea of a unicorn being close to nature, so I’m letting that pass.
This review’s going to be brief as what I said above pretty much covers it. If you like your Grimm fairy tales without any of that Disney Magic to cram in a happy ending, then definitely give this a try.
Lyra tells Bon-Bon about learning to play the harp, and being foalnapped by faeries.
You know, just when I thought I’d tear off my tail and hang myself with it if I saw another mention of human-loving Lyra, I find a twist on it that keeps me from taking that final plunge. Yes, Lyra is tangled up with humans in this story, but instead of banal, familiar mankind, “human” is actually a nickname for magical fairy-like creatures who abduct Lyra for her supernatural musical skills.
That alone was enough to keep me reading, having always been a big fan of Darby O’Gill and the Little People (which I’m fairly sure is referenced in this story through the name of the Fairy King), and all things mythological. The story is framed as Lyra retelling her amazing tale of meeting the magic humans to Bon Bon, who is out for a sour night on the town after a bad break-up. The exposition drags at the beginning, but once we reach Lyra’s part we’re off to adventure. Less melancholy than the Legend of the Scorpion Queen, but just as infused with magical realism, this will help remind you that there are yet a few more ideas to squeeze out of tired old stereotypes.
Another fairy tale! And just in time for St. Patrick’s day! Though this one is told from the perspective of a pony, so by default, it’s more pony like… ish.
Whatever.
We get to hear the story of how Lyra learned how to play the harp and got her cutie mark after being kidnapped by little people. It’s an interesting bit of lore dump on how faeries work and the ways you have to go about tricking them. Lyra is voiced pretty well here, having that excitable nature that’s famous in the fandom and yet showing a vulnerability that makes you root for her even more strongly. And yes, she’s talking about humans, but more of the leprechaun type rather than the standard homo sapiens.
The fic frames it in a way that we learn about Lyra’s adventure after the fact, but that doesn’t stop it from being exciting. Indeed, the whole experience seems to have changed her in ways that are not immediately apparent when she’s first introduced, but I’ll let you discover that on your own as you read it. Which you should totally do!
When Pinkie Pie seems troubled by her inability to pulverize boulders into dust, Applejack suggests a visit to the Pie Family farm to learn from the best. She tags along, of course. After all, she's always wanted to learn.
I truly wish there was a little more focus on the family ponies of MLP, those being Pinkie Pie and Applejack. Of them all they have the most interaction with the most family members, and have the most to teach us about family. That’s why I like stories that pair them up.
When Applejack wants to learn how to smash rocks she and Pinkie return to the Pie farm, wherein a gentle lesson about family and being yourself within that family is learned. Pinkie is the one who comes away with the real lesson, which is a nice turnaround from the setup of Applejack initially wanting to learn, and it’s a moral that can easily slot right into a children’s television show. Oh, what do you know!
There are some strange stylistic choices like asterisked onomatopoeias, and the writing can use some polishing, but ultimately we read for the story, not the grammar, and this is a good one.
An Applejack and Pinkie pair-up! Don’t see too many of those, even after we learned that they may or may not be related. And as the title says, Applejack and Pinkie Pie take a lesson in how to pulverise stone.
The meat of this story are the character interactions. Pinkie Pie takes a refresher course with Limestone while Applejack learns under Maud. Each of the Pie sisters have a different way to teach, with amusing results. Maud is particularly well used here, subdued voice and all. Her parts of the story were my favorites. Limestone and Pinkie also work well together, even as Pinkie has a rough time remembering how to properly pummel boulders.
Then we get to end, where it all ties together nicely with the tried and true method of family and being true to yourself. I can’t think of any better fic where both Applejack and Pinkie Pie are more perfect for their roles. The moral may be simple, but hey, simple ways are where Applejack and Pinkie Pie are at.
So if you’re looking for a nice and fluffy piece, this story is for you.
STORY 4
Hero, by Softy8088
Rainbow Dash is a pony who stares danger in the face, seeks to earn well-deserved fame, inspires the ponies around her, bravely fights villains, rescues those in peril, and strives to make every moment awesome.
One important day, she utterly fails to do those things.
But that's okay.
The eve of Sombra’s return during The Crystal Empire is the setup for this one, where Rainbow is trying her darndest to be a hero and provide uplifting confidence to the crystal ponies. Essentially, the story boils down to Rainbow contemplating how a hero should act, and when it’s time to give others their due.
This is a more mature take on a more mature Rainbow Dash than sometimes even the show would have us believe, with lots of introspection instead of dialogue and action. It’s not boring, but it may not be everyone’s cuppa tea either. But I do remember the episode being a little barebones on characterization for the mane six, and I can easily see this being a welcome addendum to overall canon. We have here an author who knows how to write a Rainbow Dash who isn’t boxed in by ten second memes and melodramatic bragging, which is always a delight to read.
We all like to think that every hero has his/her day. That the time will come for that hero to step forward and do what must be done to stop evil from winning. Rainbow Dash thinks of herself as that hero.
But today just ain’t her day.
Told from Rainbow Dash’s perspective in the final minutes leading up to Sombra’s defeat, we get a first pony look at how our one and only prismatic pegasus views herself and how best to save the day. It’s both fascinating and a little tragic that all the work she puts in, either realistically or in her own head, amounts to jack squat.
This is a character study, following Rainbow Dash’s mindset through the jousting competition and all the way up to Sombra’s final moments. It’s really neat to see how her thought process works. Everything is built up to epic levels of epicness in her own head and you really get to feeling that she’s poised to do something truly awesome. And then she doesn’t.
It may seem like I’m spoiling the entire story here, but I’m not. You really need to read how this boils down for her and what her final take-away is from this whole ordeal. So take a gander and see what a self-imposed hero makes of being outshone by a little dragon.
Red watched as the reviews went out, then gave a sharp nod of his head. “Good. Great. Wonderful.” He quickly went to work shutting down his system in preparation to leave.
He wasn’t quite quick enough.
“Hey! Listen!” A fuzzy ferret head exclaimed the moment it popped out of his terminal.
“NOPE!” Red pushed Ferret back into the screen with his paws while simultaneously shutting off the chat connection with his tail. The screen went dark and Ferret’s head did not reappear. Wasting no time, Red grabbed his hat and ran for the exit.
Unfortunately for him, every screen that still had chat open produced Ferret’s muzzle. “Honey, you didn’t let me finish!”
“And the anwser’s a whole lotta nope!” came Red’s retreating reply.
“Can you at least pick up some more nuts on the way home?!”
Back at his workstation, watching the scene unfold, Intern shook his head and turned back to his computer screen. “That settles it. I’m never getting married.”
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Well uh, my anwser is "answer*."
If he doesn't like it, he shouldn't have given me those meta-powers.
An interesting selection we have here. Quite interesting.
Hey, marriage is awesome. Just ask my wife sometime. um... Well, maybe somebody else. She got stuck with a real dud.
Well this explains the recent activity on my story. Part of me wants to polish it a bit after seeing that review, but I don't think I'll find the time or really see the need. Maybe if I wanted to submit it to EqD, but I really like it as is.
Thanks for the kind words, Angels!
I, uh, I guess I need to write more stories now. :P
Holy cow! How did this happen without me noticing?
Thank you so very much for the kind words. I guess that I can tick this off of the bucket list now.