Read It Now Reviews #102 – Six Ponies & One Corpse, Those Who Wield Power, Friendship 101, Friendship Hate Mail, Captains Crash · 11:30pm Feb 8th, 2017
Been a while since I did one of these! Five recent(ish) stories, five reviews. Let’s get cracking before this becomes a Read It Later review set, eh?
Today’s stories:
Six Ponies & One Corpse by Estee
Those Who Wield Power by PresentPerfect
Friendship 101 by BlazzingInferno
Friendship Hate Mail by PonyThunder
Captains Crash by Estee
Six Ponies & One Corpse
by Estee
Comedy, Dark
5,818 wordsWhen somepony (or ponies) is responsible for the creation of a corpse, the natural first question to arise is frequently "What do we do with the body?" As it turns out, the Bearers have a few ideas.
Maybe more than a few.
Possibly too many.
Why I added it: Oh god, this is a thing now, isn’t it?
Review
The Mane Six have defeated some villain! Or at least, some very bad pony. And sure, they’ve turned bad guys into statues before, or fixed them, but… this? This is the first time they’ve ever actually killed somepony and ended up with, well, a corpse.
A slightly perforated corpse, judging by some of the descriptions.
And it might have been a little bit excessive whatever they did, to the point where they might not want to involve the police.
Naturally, this means they need to… well, dispose of the body.
And Twilight has the perfect idea. After all, she’s always wanted to practice necromancy, and there’s all sorts of spells that are too dangerous to practice on a living pony. But on a corpse…
Of course, the problem is that Rarity might have an idea of her own. As might some of their other friends…
This is a silly story, though it does feel like a bit of a stretch. The characters seem a bit too nonchalant about disposing of the body, really only thinking of their personal needs rather than thinking at all about the fact that they’ve killed someone. In fact, no one seems to give much mind to the fact that they just killed someone, which, given this is their first kill, seems a bit strange.
On the other hand, the story is really focused on the aftermath, and the comedy of all of them selfishly wanting a corpse for their own needs. And I’m not quite sure if they all fit quite right. Sure, Rainbow Dash and Twilight both seem reasonable enough, and Applejack disposing of it in her own way seems to fit quite well, but Rarity and Fluttershy’s requests felt a little bit… forced. Sure, there was an explanation, but it just felt a little bit weird, and it felt a bit like Estee needed to fit everyone’s silly idea in there, and honestly, I’m not sure how much I can imagine Rarity wanting a corpse lying around her boutique, however useful it might be – doubly so given her reaction to Applejack’s request.
This is really the greatest weakness of the story; the idea of ponies having to hide a body is already a little stretch, but while this story is intentionally playing it for laughs it doesn’t quite feel entirely internally consistent in those laughs.
On the other hand, there are some pretty funny bits in here – Twilight realizing she can use the body for experimentation is amusing enough, Applejack grossing out Rarity is kind of amusing, and Pinkie Pie’s request is really the highlight of the piece and made me chuckle out loud. Indeed, the whole ending is pretty solid.
Overall, this was enjoyable, but some of the oddity of the middle and self-contradictions did hurt it a little. But it was never enough to make me want to stop reading.
If ponies all wanting to make use of a corpse sounds amusing to you, this might just be up your alley.
And now, in light of these two, I’m trying to think of my own thought on how to approach a story like this…
Recommendation: Worth Reading.
Those Who Wield Power
by Present Perfect
Drama
3,118 wordsRoblé Rotunda has the perfect thesis for his master's program. It's sure to put his name into the annals of Equestria's greatest thinkers.
He's going to prove that Princess Celestia is not omnipotent.
Why I added it: PresentPerfect is a good writer.
Review
Roblé Rotunda is a bit jealous of Princess Celestia, though he doesn’t really know it. He seeks to prove that she is not omnipotent as his thesis paper, and arranges for a meeting with her to ask her to do one simple thing for him: to create a rock that she cannot lift.
She accommodates him.
This story is a bit difficult to interpret; I had to spend a bit thinking about it to grok it, and I think a lot of the audience missed the point entirely judging by the comments. While at first blush this story seems to be about omnipotence, it is really focused on Roblé. At the start, while he is trying to prove how awesome he is, he is really showing how petty he is, and the story ultimately is about the inanity of his request, and his motive in making it.
While I think this story actually has a fairly interesting point to it – that Roblé’s reason for trying to make Celestia be less special was to make himself more special, and that his real problem isn’t with Celestia, but with himself – I think that this point was something that a lot of people missed because the story was a bit too subtle about it.
That said, I did like the ending of this piece – the final setpiece was nicely evocative, and Celestia’s gift to him helped to illustrate the point of the story, albeit in subtle ways.
Recommendation: Worth Reading.
Friendship 101
by BlazzingInferno
Slice of Life
3,958 wordsA pony only gets one cute-ceañera. Twilight Velvet knows this, and she knows exactly how her friendless daughter wants to spend hers: nose-deep in a book, just like every other day. Twilight Velvet has other plans, all revolving around finding somepony to come to her daughter’s party, somepony to be her friend.
Why I added it: BlazzingInferno is a good writer.
Review
Twilight Velvet, after inviting literally every other foal from the first year at the academy and getting “we’re busy” notes from their parents, realizes that there is really only one pony who she has any real hope of getting to show up to her daughter’s cute-ceañera.
Too bad that one pony is also the Princess of Equestria, the longest of long-shots.
Celestia is reluctant – after all, she is already blatantly showing Twilight favoritism by taking her on as her personal student, and showing up at her party would only make that worse. Well-to-do families would demand she show up to their kids’ important personal events as well.
But the alternative is for Twilight to have a friendless, lonely birthday – that the filly might not even notice, because she doesn’t even really understand what a friend is supposed to be.
While this seems like it would be a fluff piece, it is actually surprisingly serious – the story is mostly focused on Twilight Velvet seeking out Celestia and making her case to the Princess.
While I liked the thrust of this story, and it had a clever idea – and a conclusion which explained how Twilight ended up with “friends” that she barely seemed to care about – I’m not sure if the story spent its focus as well as it might have. If this is meant to show character, I would have liked to see more of Twilight Velvet and Princess Celestia’s thoughts – it was a much bigger ask than it might seem on the surface, and there was some possibility to reveal some good character here. But instead, a lot of time is spent on various other things, and only about half the story’s length is actually spent on such.
If this is supposed to be a fluff piece, I’m not quite sure that it quite came together as such for me – while Celestia showing up is a very warm and fuzzy thing for her to do, the story doesn’t really present itself in a very warm-and-fuzzy light, and the fluff only really comes into play for the last thousand words of the story, with the rest seeming to be directed elsewhere. As such, I’m not really sure that it is supposed to be one in the first place.
But as neither front really quite came together for me, I’m not quite sure what this story is supposed to be. It feels unfocused, like it doesn’t have much of a point, and while that is true of many “pure” slice of life pieces, this story didn’t really end up delivering on any sort of emotional resonance either. It wasn’t bad, but it didn’t really end up having much of an emotional impact on me either.
Recommendation: Not Recommended.
Friendship Hate Mail
by PonyThunder
Comedy, Slice of Life
1,855 wordsPrincess Celestia sends an oddly simple message to Twilight and Spike. The contents: "What are you wearing?" Complications and chaos ensue.
Why I added it: It was featured and the comic amused me.
Review
While many of these stories based on comics end up failing because they simply repeat the joke in the comic without adding new context, this story takes the original comic and expands on it. Here, we see a frenetic Twilight Sparkle try to decipher the meaning of Princess Celestia’s message, and she ends up making things worse for herself by accidentally sending Princess Celestia something that could well be construed as a response.
Sadly, while this story actually does expand on the idea, I’m not sure that it actually ended up feeling like it quite delivered. The punchline is never stated in the story, being left to the reader’s imagination, but while Twilight’s final reaction speaks to what it was, I’m not sure that the story structurally supported it. The problem is that we get alternation between Twilight being frantic and Celestia and Luna being serious, but rather than comedic seriousness as we might expect, the scenes with Celestia end up feeling like they take themselves a little too seriously. The final scene felt a little bit jarring for the comedic tone that the story seemed to be going for, and without an actual punchline, it didn’t feel like the story gelled as a whole.
Recommendation: Not Recommended.
Captains Crash
by Estee
Crossover, Slice of Life, Duck Tales
6,046 wordsPegasi aren't the only intelligent species which can fly, and the Wonderbolts recognize that. There is no racial restriction placed on the open tryout sessions and over the centuries, the team has had a few unusual members. They have proven methods of working with griffons, self-levitating unicorns -- anything known to get in the air might find their place.
However, it's probably safe to say nopony was expecting a minotaur-sized duck.
Why I added it: Estee is a good writer, and I’m curious as to what Estee is going to do, not with pony tales or cottontails, but Duck Tales. Yes, Virginia, the original Duck Tales theme song contained an oblique reference to My Little Pony.
Review
"Life," Spitfire philosophically said as she carefully took her place on the central bench behind the judges' table, staring out towards the cloud-padded huge open pasture which was about to host the first Wonderbolts open tryout session of the year, "is like a hurricane. And so are applicant judging sessions."
Well, no one can accuse Estee of not knowing their audience.
The Wonderbolts are holding tryouts. Not just anypony, but anyone who can fly is eligible to join. Griffons. Unicorns with enough magic to levitate themselves. They even had a minotaur with a hang glider show up once.
But never a minotaur-sized talking duck. Heck, ducks can’t even talk – how did he even get to Equestria?
But no matter. He knows that the Wonderbolts are the best fliers in all of Equestria, and he wants to join.
There’s just one problem. He can’t fly with his arms.
But Launchpad McQuack is a pilot…
While the idea of this story is kind of funny, I have to admit that this story is pretty squarely directed at Duck Tales fans – if you aren’t a Duck Tales fan, I’m not sure that there’s a whole lot here for you. And even if you are…
Well, unfortunately, a good chunk of this story is consumed by things you already know as a Duck Tales fan – that planes exist, and that Launchpad McQuack has never found one he can’t crash (and never found a crash he can’t walk away from).
This is one of those “Hey, it’s that thing I like!” stories, with some added jokes and a little bit of worldbuilding thrown in for good measure. It never really goes beyond that level, and while reference is enough for some people, it tends not to be enough for me. I did get a laugh or two out of this, but I hesitate to recommend it as it doesn’t really go much beyond the obvious.
Recommendation: Not Recommended unless you really want to see Launchpad McQuack try out for the Wonderbolts, and nothing more.
Summary
Six Ponies & One Corpse by Estee
Worth Reading
Those Who Wield Power by PresentPerfect
Worth Reading
Friendship 101 by BlazzingInferno
Not Recommended
Friendship Hate Mail by PonyThunder
Not Recommended
Captains Crash by Estee
Not Recommended
A few posts back I noted that I was closing in on the big 1000 – 1000 stories reviewed in various reviews. I’ve got a few things coming up to celebrate that – for one, I’ll finally post my own review spreadsheet, which somehow I still haven’t gotten around to uploading to the Internet. Hopefully, that will make finding reviews easier, as well as give some interesting information (at least potentially) for people to look at. Or at least some fun numbers to see (like just how much I hate everything).
The second thing I’m going to do is review a longer story – I haven’t quite decided which yet, but I’m leaning towards actually getting around to re-reading Eternal, with the added bonus of being able to post a review of Heretical Fictions as well. I’m going to try and start re-reading it tomorrow.
I’m not sure what else I’m going to do, but I suppose we shall see.
Number of stories still listed as Read It Sooner: 165
Number of stories still listed as Read It Later: 593
Number of stories listed as Read It Eventually: 2092
You know, it's been forever since I actually listened to the lyrics, but I always thought it was Goblin Tales.
Proof positive that you learn something every day, if you do anything at all!
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Admittedly, it is an easy mondegreen to hear, as I can hear it that way as well.
Whoa, shit. :O When I wrote that piece, you were one of two people I sorely wanted to read it, but I never expected you'd like it! :D
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I did! I thought that it was a very interesting story. It was thoughtful and covered an interesting topic (indeed, a topic of particular interest to me) and I loved some of the visuals, particularly the field of obelisks. It also was interesting because it focused on the half of it that a lot of people overlook - the people who make such requests, and what might drive them.
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Well shit, and here I was thinking I had no idea what I was doing.
UH I MEAN ha ha! At last, I meet someone as clever and thoughtful as myself! :V How good it must feel to have an intellect as boundless as mine!
It's good to see you back on your reviewing A-game
But really, I see your point that the story has an odd mix of light and heavy. Ironically it mirrors Twilight Velvet being a hardline negotiator who writes children's books. I can't claim that that effect wasn't intentional, though; I've simply heard that attempting to publish a children's book (especially a picture book for really little kids) is brutally hard.
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I'd imagine its a fairly tough market, doubly so as I'm not quite sure how you advertise such books. I guess you aim it at parents and children, but I can imagine it being tough.
You gave a positive review to only 6pone1corp? it was the worst technically written of these 4 you reviewed!
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Y'know, I'm not in a particularly good mood today. So with that in mind...
...I'm just going to leave this here.
Enshrined within the quote box.
Forever.
Irony as she is reviewed criticized.
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It was still super well written!
The others were just slightly better from a technical standpoint!
its no insult to you, its a declaration of my bafflement in trying to understand TitaniumDragon's tastes!
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4415741
First off, I disagree with the assessment that it is the worst of them technically; Estee has a good grasp of technique. They have a very distinctive authorial voice, which I can understand not being for everyone, but it works quite well and frequently adds some humorous observation into the mix.
Stuff like this:
Is quite good, as is stuff like this:
Is a fun glance at Rainbow Dash's character, because Rainbow Dash clearly thinks her contribution was awesome and should be talked about and applauded and she is angry that no one is doing so. It implies quite a bit of character with a single sentence of description, and that's heady stuff.
Where Estee's stories tend to fall down is on a broader level; the weaker ones tend to either be too long for what they are or too repetitive (some repetition works to reinforce ideas, but Estee sometimes overdoes it to the point where it feels like you're being hit over the head with the clue stick rather aggressively, and there are a few nails stuck in at odd angles which keep bouncing off your skull). This story's greatest weakness was related to this; all too many stories violate the rule of three and go for the rule of six, involving all of the Mane Six even when there is no reasonable reason to do so. I felt that a couple of the uses of the corpse were a bit questionable, and Twilight and Pinkie Pie's bits were by far the best (and Pinkie Pie's bit, coming last, had a great deal of first emotional, then humorous impact), which meant that the others ended up rather diluting things; had only two others come in before Pinkie Pie, it would have still worked and been shorter and probably stronger.
But the strong parts of this story outweighed the weak bits. It was a pleasure to read in part because of the prose, and while it did end up feeling weak in spots, I felt on the whole I enjoyed the experience of reading it.
The three stories I NRed all had what I might call top-level issues; Friendship 101 felt unfocused and didn't quite feel like it was all pushing in the same direction, while Friendship Hate Mail had the same issue and lacked an on-screen punchline. Captains Crash, conversely, suffered from repeating too much information we, the audience, know from elsewhere, and while it had some decent prose it felt like it didn't really go very far or do anything terribly sophisticated with its premise.
Also, I'll note that Captains Crash and Six Ponies & One Corpse were written by the same author.
From the standpoint of technique at prose alone, I'd put Estee pretty high on my list of "authors with really strong authorial voices"; Estee's writing is highly distinctive, and their style works quite well.
My favorite story in this set was Those Who Wield Power, though. Its prose was more workmanlike, though it worked well enough, but where it really shone was conceptually and in powerfully delivering a few powerful key moments and ideas. Having something interesting to write about is very important, and Those Who Wield Power delivers on that very well. It would have ranked even higher (I wanted to Recommend it), but I do feel that it was a bit too subtle in what it was really about to actually give it that rating.
You know what, I won't take your reviews seriously.
A lot of writers don't take you seriously, since you take fics, give your opinion on them, and then turn it into a recommendation. People mght miss out on fiction they really might like because they're following the opinions of some random guy, who has really specific likes and dislikes and will mark something "not worth reading" because you felt it was "missing something" or some random meaning.
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Everyone is allowed to read what they want.
Reviews are a useful means of finding stuff you might want to read, but they're not the be-all, end-all.
I don't just give recommendations, though; I try to talk about what is good and bad, why I liked or didn't like something.
I've had people who read stories I didn't recommend simply because my review made it sound like something they would enjoy.
But mostly, people's time is a valuable resource; they'd rather spend it on things they'd like than things they didn't. If you think about it from that standpoint, if you pick stuff at random and have a 25% chance of liking them, or pick something which is recommended and have a 75% chance of liking it, using recommendations makes sense - it doesn't matter that you are missing out on some things you would have liked, because you'd have to read four times as much to find the same amount of stuff you liked.
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Hmm. I get what you're saying :)