Review #47 - Who We are, The Storm, Shadow Over Ponyville

Alrighty then, time for another 3 stories:

Who We Are by kits
The Storm by Mocha Star
Shadow Over Ponyville by Ciroton

Who We Are by kits
(Slice of Life
A letter from Celestia interrupts one of Pinkie's parties with disturbing news. Now friendships will be pushed to the limit as Twilight struggles to uncover which of her friends is not who, or even what, she appears to be. (Pinkiedash warning)

Review
During a party, Celestia sends the Main 6 a letter saying one of them is a changeling. What follows is Twilight attempting to discover who it is. Eventually, after around 16,000 words, they decide it doesn't matter who it is, as their friendship is sincere.

So, pacing, this one has pretty great pacing, but it probably could have been two chapters instead of one. It has very few errors within the text, which is nice. And it seems extremely planned out. I would say it could use a "Mystery" tag, but it is not that important.

Score: 8/10 Recommendation: Worth Reading.

Personal Thoughts: While it has a weak-ish plot, it was worth my time reading it.

The Storm by Mocha Star
(Slice of Life)
Merry is lost in a blizzard with her crew, but it isn't long before she's alone in thoughts and then alone in her trek.

Review
A pony, at least, I assume it's a pony, walks through a blizzard to her mother's house. Once she gets there, she gets yelled at for not wearing her boots in that kind of weather.

Though this story is very short, it has nice pacing considering the plot. It has very few errors, which helps. And it seems planned out enough, but also kinda made up as you go along. The tags work, though.

Score: 6/10 Recommendation: Not Recommended.

Personal Thoughts: This one, just is not really the best. Edit: I'm sure there is something that means something to somepony in this one, but not for me.

Shadow Over Ponyville by Ciroton
(Dark, Slice of Life)
Some things are meant to remain secret; to forever toil in the shadows behind a smiling facade of playfulness and friendship. Rarity happens across such a secret one star-filled night, but can she steer towards the light, or with the intoxicating and seductive brew of power overcome her judgment? After all, that which should be feared the most is the friendly pony with the dagger behind their back.

Review
Rarity sees Twilight out one night and confronts her about it. As it happens, Rarity wants in on whatever Twilight is doing. While at the next meeting, Rarity learns the history of the group. The meeting after that, she gets officially inducted into the group, by being forced to eat a piece of another pony.

So, pacing... it's pretty good, but it can get to feel a little long. It has very few errors within. And It also seems rather planned out, but there is a lot of filler. This one NEEDS a "Horror" tag, and probably an "M" rating to go with it.

Score: 7/10 Recommendation: Intermediate if you have a STRONG stomach, otherwise Not Recommended.

Personal Thoughts: That... that is really creepy. Like, wow...

Comments

[Mocha Star]

Thanks?
I guess I like the idea of keeping my story ambiguous and imaginative, I appreciate the thoughts.