The Storm

Merry is lost in a blizzard with her crew, but it isn't long before she's alone in thoughts and then alone in her trek.

Edited by Wyngs Triumphant

Chapters (1)

Comments ( 16 )

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WyngsTriumphant

WyngsTriumphant #1 · Dec 11th, 2016 · 1 · ·

I believe I already stated my thoughts on the PM, but I felt compelled to comment here publicly any way :)

Very well written and paced (there was little for me to edit), an interesting story, very enjoyable read. Under 1k words, it's still better than a lot of longer fanfics . Quality over quantity!

This is the first of your works I've seen, I'm keen to read more of your past and future work. Well done!

Mocha Star

Mocha Star #2 · Dec 11th, 2016 · · ·

7785757 Thanks

Matthewl419

Matthewl419 #3 · Dec 11th, 2016 · · ·

I like it.

Mocha Star

Mocha Star #4 · Dec 11th, 2016 · · ·

7785927
Thumbs up!
Tell your friends.

Miller Minus

Miller Minus #5 · Dec 11th, 2016 · 1 · ·

That was a nice little thing. Thanks for that.

Admiral Biscuit

Admiral Biscuit #6 · Dec 12th, 2016 · 1 · ·

Good choice of a story to post today.

Mocha Star

Mocha Star #7 · Dec 12th, 2016 · · ·

7788182
Thanks!

I live this story some days.

Jordan179

Jordan179 #8 · Dec 31st, 2016 · · ·

It made more sense than I thought it would. There were clues scattered through the first to middle parts that this was not a bold explorer, but rather a child, but I wasn't sure if they were genuine clues or an example of someone writing an adult character poorly.

I also thought at one point that you were going to go the Ray Bradbury "Mars Is Heaven" route.

Mocha Star

Mocha Star #9 · Dec 31st, 2016 · · ·

7831394 I'm glad you got to the end and understood the whole premise. I was worried when writing this that it would come across as a poorly written story and not an imaginative adventure of a youthful mind playing a game.

Granted, the end could have been fleshed out more, in my opinion, but I'm pleased it's going over so well.

Also, I'm going to add that story to my read it later list. I've heard of it and might have read it... But it never hurts to reread a book.

CoffeeBean

CoffeeBean #10 · Jan 12th, 2017 · · ·

Shit, I didn't expect that. God, I need to read more of your stories. That was really good, dude. I needed something to cheer me up after finishing 'My Only Sunshine'. Writing depressing shit takes a lot of out you...

Matthewl419