Review #33 - Balanced Light, Best Worst Power · 3:55pm Jan 4th, 2017
And today I have another two stories, so here they are:
Balanced Light by Coffee Bean
Best Worst Power by Jay-The-Brony
Balanced Light by CoffeeBean
(Slice of Life
Princess Luna is called off to Hollow Shades, a small community of bat-ponies, to deal with a magical issue.
Review
Princess Luna goes to Hollow Shades, a community of bat-ponies that seem to have some sort of magical issue. Luna investigates the problem and finds out it is a small worm-like creature of light causing the problems.
This is fairly well paced, though it does feel a little drawn out in the middle. It does not, however, have many errors in the text, which is quite nice. It also feels mostly planned out, but there is some filler in the middle. The tag works out alright, but it also seems like it is missing either a "Mystery," or a "Drama."
Score: 7.5/10 Recommendation: Intermediate.
Personal Thoughts: Now you may be wondering why it has such a low recommendation, that is because it is a, for lack of words, weak story... sorry CoffeeBean
Best Worst Power by Jay-The-Brony
(Comedy, Random)
It is commonly known that there are many strange and wondrous powers in the world of Equestria. The power to fly, to govern the weather, to transform life itself. But, amidst a discussion of such powers, Twilight and her friends eventually arrive at a very important question. What would be a good bad power?
Review
Twilight and her friends discuss what would be a good, bad power.
This is pretty well paced, but it feels as though it should have been 200 fewer words. But it does have very few errors within the text. It also seems like the powers were planned out, and the story made around them, which was probably an attempt at comedy. The tags work out alright too.
Score: 7/10 Recommendation: Worth Reading.
Personal Thoughts: Though I did not laugh audibly for this one, it was rather humorous.
I'm actually interested that you didn't quite enjoy 'Balanced Light'. I'd like to hear more of your thoughts.
In defense of that little story; it wasn't really meant to be a thriller or exciting, drama filled story. I wanted to write something in the style of an episode from the show; short, simple, and with a mild conflict that is resolved by the end.
Other than that, I'll take the hell out of a 7.5/10 from you. Thus far, I haven't gotten a lower rating, so I'll consider this one a win.
Can't wait for your next review!
4369119
Let's see, more of my thoughts...
--In attempting to get it short, simple, and with a mild conflict, it seems as though you got too mild of a plot, and it needs some excitement.
--About the 7.5, I was going to give it an 8/10, but then I realized that I was accidentally being partial, so I had to fix it.
4369256 Yeah, it wasn't very exciting. I can certainly see that.
So, what do you plan on reviewing next? I assume you don't review NSFW stories...
4369260
Probably That Changeling's a Pony, and it's sequel Top Edge by Raugos... And If You Can't Beat 'Em by horizon.
And no, I don't do much with NSFW stories.
4369266 I'm excited to hear what you thought of 'Top Edge'. I saw that story bouncing around for quite a while...
4369266 I loved That Changeling's a Pony! so I hope you enjoy it as much. Haven't got round to its sequel yet, but I will do eventually.