Big Mac Facts · 7:51pm Aug 27th, 2012
A bit of a running joke that I started after reading tealspeckles comment in Old Traditions that I moved here to give the author less of a headache... have fun
Start: tealspeckles ->big mac once punched a pony so hard, every pony in canterlot felt it, and he was in neighpon!
Big Mac once helped Celestia lower the sun, by glaring at it 
Before Discord goes to bed he checks his closet for Big Mac
The reason it rains is because Bic Mac scared the clouds and they wet themselves
Big Mac once made a Zap Apple do a sonic rainboom, by accidentally bucking it
Changlings are forbidden to change into Big Mac, so far every one that attempts just explode from pure awesome (twice)
Nightmare Moon leaves candy for Big Mac on Nightmare Night
When a cockatrice stared at Big Mac it turned to stone
Big Mac once bucked a tree with all his strength, the spot is now known as Ghastly Gorge
Deleth- The last recorded earthquake in Equestria was actually Big Mac falling out of bed.
Deleth- Big Mac once bucked a tree so hard it shifted into another dimension.
Big Mac read My little Dashie without crying, though he did get a little choked up
Trixie has to pay royalties to Big Mac so she can keep calling herself the great and powerful
Sweet Celestia, I can't stop! 
Big Mac is an official Wonderbolt
Big Mac had a street named after him, but they had to change it because no one crosses Big Mac and lives
Big Mac taught Pinkie to break the fourth wall
KenjiYoi- Discord once tried to Discord Big Mac. For the next two months, Discord chewed a piece of hay and answered everything with 'Eeyup' and 'Eenope'.
KenjiYoi- Derpy's eyes used to be normal, then she saw Big Mag when he turned his Swag on.
KenjiYoi -Everyone in Equestria knows when Big Mac turns his Swag on because most the mares and a few of the stallions faint.
keep 'em coming Bronies!
Once big mac jumped on a lake cloudsdale didn't water for 10 years
315263 Princess Molestia tried to make Big Mac her love slave, now she stops by Sweet Apple Acres every week for her "weekly lesson"
Big Mac was accepted into Celestia's school for gifted unicorns, he then graduated the next day
Equestira's top scientists once tried to measure the power of Big Mac's apple buck, what's left of the machines are still running the numbers...
there is a reason why red is the highest danger warning, that reason is big mac
Give me less of a headache? I love these things, y'all were cracking me up. Keep this up, consider yourself watched.
When he was a colt, Big Mac once got angry and stamped his hoof. They are still trying to figure out how he managed to raise the sea level 60 feet.
Big Mac once bucked a tree as hard as he could. The latest images from the Hoofle Space Telescope put it at somewhere close to 16,000 light years away. It was only 2 months ago he bucked the tree.
It is forbidden to make Big Mac angry. The last time this happened, multiple volcanos simultaneously erupted. It is believed they did so out of sheer terror.
316907
ohmygosh ohmygosh ohmygosh ohmy....er I mean, cool 
glad you thought it was funny. I'm really enjoying Old Traditions (especially the eccentric Granny Smith 
)
316642 317306 Big Mac beat Twilight QWOP using the spacebar
Slenderman plays a game called Macintosh, he has yet to go 3 seconds without wetting himself and has to see a therapist about the nightmares
Big Mac was the original guardian of the gates of Tartarus, out of pity for the creatures (prisoners) he was replaced by Cerberus, his pet dog
big mac is the little know seventh element of harmony, the element of swag however he prefers not to use it because whenever he does the population skyrockets.
317738 Big Mac works a second job as a secret agent for the Equestrian government under the name Mane... Con Mane
During the Canterlot opera Big Mac was asked to sing a piece, he single-hoovedly started the second Equestrian Renaissance as well as earning himself the title of Magic Mic
th05.deviantart.net/fs70/PRE/f/2012/240/6/e/bigmac_sings_by_tobibrocki-d5cowe5.jpg Thank tobibrocki for the image
big mac onced worked for the railroad well testing there new bullet train technology, he would stand behind the train and buck it. this technology has now been forbidden as the trains could only go in a straight line and had a very low survival rate when they came to a stop.
317938 Luna is the embodiment of the Moon, Celestia the sun. Big Mac is Mars, Red Giants, Red Supergiants and the horse head nebula... to name a few
The Equestrain Government labels all cases of anything attacking Big Mac as a suicide
Big Mac is a stallion of few words. Big Mac is not a stallion of a few apple bucks to the face
If you have 10 bits and Big Mac has 10 bits, Big Mac has more money than you
when big mac looks in a mirror there is no reflection, there is only one big mac
318016 Big Mac knows the Princesses actual age, but a gentlecolt doesn't tell
Equestria's highest selling product is Apple Spice body wash/deodorant, its the scent of apples, wood shavings and pure Mac
Big Mac has won more rodeo ribbons than anypony, he just hasn't told Aj and Applebloom so they don't feel pressured
When the Elements of Harmony are used, they're actually tapping into Big Mac.
Big Mac likes sea food. Scientist have determined this is why there are no more sea ponies.
Big Mac can, in fact, break a Pinkie Promise.
Big Mac's real name is actually Switchblade Killingsworth, but it wasn't manly enough for him so he changed.
Pinkie Pie breaks the fourth wall, but Big Mac SHATTERS it.
Pinkie will be there there to show you that it isn't that bad. Big Mac will be there to show you to your grave.
The Everfree Forest answers to no pony. Except Big Mac.
McDonalds created the Big Mac as a homage to the great red stallion. Honored by this gesture, Big Mac has decided to let humanity live.
334855 sweet Celestia those are awesome! can't stop laughing ahem*
Big Mac doesn't walk any where, his hooves move the earth beneath him till he stops
Breaburn is gay for Big Mac
A buffalo herd tried to stamp-heed the red stallion, they where later found paying homage to him as king
When Macintosh went through ponyville in Granny's girdle, no one laughed, but many a mare asked him to stop by for a 'visit'
Braeburn Apple and Big Mac once brohoof'd. This caused the Ice Age. In our world.
Big Mac is best Big Mac.
Look down. Now back up. Big Mac is on Old Spice Guy. Doo di doo di do do di do!
Big Mac does his grocery shopping at a hardware store.
Big Mac is listed in dragon records as having the best high dive into a lava pit.
Big Mac is why the Doctor became a pony.
Big Mac is actually the king of Equestria, but he lets Celestia and Luna handle it because he's also the king of the Universe and can't be bothered with it.
The only pony Big Mac has ever missed is Applejack. Everyone else, he maintains a one shot, 3 kill policy.
334955 An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Unless that apple is Big Macintosh, in which case, you will be seeing a doctor quite frequently
Big Mac was able to eat an entire stock of baking bads without incident, Spike offered to share
Windegos once tried to freeze Big Mac, he now uses them as Winterfresh breath mint
Big Mac knows what went wrong
When Celestia wants to raise the Sun, she has to ask Big Mac please.
Contrary to popular belief, it was Big Mac's applebucking kick, not the Elements of Harmony, that sent Luna to the moon.
Big Mac plays with Smartie Pants because if he played with other ponies, they'd die.
The word swag should actually be pronounced: "Big Mac"
Big Mac is Spike's real dad.
Big Mac is why Fluttershy is afraid of Dragons.
Starswirl the Bearded invented time travel to try and forewarn the world that Big Mac was coming, and he wasn't happy.
Big Mac was recently seen celebrating Luna's return at the Canterlot Castle. When asked, he looked at the sisters and said "Well, the fun has been doubled."
Big Mac doesn't talk much, not because he's shy, but because the power of his voice can shake apart your very soul.
Big Mac is the only known pony to have faced an Ursa Major and lived. The Ursa Major's remains are regularly seen in our world's sky.
Braeburn is a student of Big Mac and is slowly beginning to become 1/1000th as powerful. He is currently acknowledged as the most powerful pony besides Big Mac and the Princesses. He still has a long way to go.
Big Mac was the one who taught Fluttershy The Stare. He still says he couldn't teach her his version, as every pony who has seen his version has not lived to tell the tale.
336557>>342732 The red stallion earned his cutie mark as a colt when he climbed Equestria's tallest mountain to meditate under an apple tree. There he was met by his spirit guide, a bearded man in a stetson, who whispered him the secrets of the roundhouse kick. Big Mac used this secret to create his signature apple buck kick.
Big Mac was "injured" last applebucking season when he was helping an underpowered Luna regain her powers as the Moon Alicorn... it took her till Nightmare night to recover from their adventure.
Big Mac doesn't have to use the Royal Canterlot Voice, when he talks, Everypony listens
Cheerilee still dreams of Mac calling her his shmoopy-doopy sweetie-weety pony pie, but so does every other mare
Big Mac once got into a staring contest with a cocaktrice. After 5 days of being frozen in stone, Big Mac finally decided to be merciful and turned the monster back.
Big Mac could easily be the star of MLP, but no one wants to watch a show where all the problems are solved in five minutes due to a mysterious and well place hoof kick.
Big Mac gave Spike the gift of Moustache, in hopes that the young dragon could one day learn to harness it's power and keep the endless hordes of mares off him.
Big Mac stole your house. What are you going to do about it?
If Tara Strong is the Brony Queen, Big Mac is the Brony King. Actually, probably just the King in general.
Faster than a speeding rainboom, more powerful than a locomotive, and able to leap tall buildings in a single bound... consists of Big Mac's warmup.
Big Mac walked into Burger King and ordered, as expected, a Big Mac. He got it.
Jesus walks on water, but Big Mac swims through earth.
In the beginning, there was nothing. Then Big Mac said "Eeyup" and the Universe was born.
In Soviet Russia, Big Mac still kicks your flank.
Big Mac is so far the only entity known to be able to fight fairly against WW2 Russia.
if Big Mac and Chuck Norris bucked/roundhouse kicked each other, the entire Universe would implode.
Big Mac makes creepers implode.
Big Mac, Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee once walked down the street. With every mare clinging to them. AND every stallion.
380159 343850 Big mac isn’t even in his final form
No one’s ever been dumb enough to rustle Mac’s jimmies
Ever since Mac officially joined the Royal guard, Equestrian crime has become nonexistent
Big Mac was one of the instruments used to help detect higgs boson, he used his hooves to smash atoms together
Big Mac got a tomagochi pet 12 years ago. its now become what is known as the Crystal Kingdom in the frozen north
Big Mac beat all the elite fours and all the champions without being injured.
Big Mac ain't called "BIG Mac" for nothing.
Big Mac once sneezed so hard, that Discord was created.
Big Mac once planted a tiny sapling. This caused the Everfree forest.
Rainbow Dash can do a Rainboom, Big Mac can do a triple-rainboom.
Big Mac did the Fausticorn. And that's how Equestria was made.
Every time Big Mac says eeyup, a puppy dies. Every time Big Mac says eenope, a kitten dies.
Big Mac farts out Rainbows.
There's a reason why in the "Meet the"s the RED always win.
Big Mac has everypony as his bitch.
317738 That could be source material for a good oneshot. :D
336557
The last one... BigMac-born? FUS
380311>>380773>>381207 Big Mac tuned in to watch Jersey Shore to see what the hype was about... he got to the opening and scowled... the show is now cancelled. YOUR WELCOME!
The oldest apple sibling once sported a beard, when he shaved it off the hairs where used to make Celestia's regalia, crown, and her guard's armor.
Lauren Faust has red hair, Big Mac has red fur...enough said
One day Big Mac decided to go running to see how fast he could go. when he hit 88 miles-an-hour his cutie mark glowed, sparks appeared in front of him and his hooves left a trail of fire. Next thing he knew he was speaking to a surprised Star-swill the bearded about how time travel is possible before heading home.
Big Macintosh or Big McIntosh? Either way don't insult him if you value your life
380311>>382688 Thank you for jokes and the Watches! I might have to post this as a story rather than a blog...Anyways back to business *ahem*
).
Big Mac doesn't die, he's reincarnated into the next pony type in the cycle; Earth, Unicorn, then Pegasus. his previous incarnation was the founder of the Wonderbolts and his most famous was Star-swill the Bearded (why did think he keeps getting mentioned in these jokes
When he wants to he can channel all of his past lives into what is known as "the Alicorn State" his eyes and cutie mark glows and he sprouts Large wings and a horn.
Silence will/must fall when the question is asked... as you guessed Big Mac was asked. He remained silent... he knew the answer but his stare was answer enough for the universe to keep existing
Big Mac once looked directly at the sun. It hide behind the moon for three days and only came out then because he threatened to go through the moon to kick it's ass if it didn't.
When celestia raices the sun it is actually Big Mac who moves the earth.
Big Mac have actually been dead for over 2000 years. Death is just to afraid to tell him.
Big Mac was once attackde by a Pony, a deer, a goat, a snake, a lion, an eagle, a lizard, a bat, a Pegasus and a dagon on the same time. The result is now known as discord.
Big Mac once sneezed through the forth wall. The human he accidentally sneezed in is now named chuck Norris.
Big Mac didn't attend school. School attended him.
Big Mac once bucked two stones through the forth wall. The stone were the nukes that hit hiroshima and Nagasaki in 1945.
Ponyville was invaded by creatures from the everfree forest 20 years ago. it was because Big Mac were looking for zekhora.
Big Mac wriote the complete works of william shakespare in two minutes... by bucking the typewriter.
382756>>384230>>385080 Big Mac once did a spread for Pegasister Magazine. Not only did it sell out in ten seconds flat, but the Princesses had to have Shining Armor guard Sweet Apple Acres for a year
The workhorse founded Apple Inc. when he was 10 years old bringing Technology to Equestria. Two months later he built a Tardis for his buddy Time Turner
Do you want to know the secret ingredient to the Marzipan Mascarpone Meringue Madness? I'll give you a hint: The Cakes left out another M...
385201 Dammit that was my next joke!!! Anyways lets see what the ladies have to say
Macintosh Apple is a large red Earth pony stallion, he's about a head shorter than Celestia, i think he might...
Twilight that's not what they meant when they asked for Big Mac Facts 
huh?
Like this... Big Mac is so fast that I asked him help me make a water hurricane for Cloudsdale! He's totally 40% percent cooler than other Colts
Oh! Oh! Me Next! Me Next! um... Big Mac is SUPER STRONG... he punches something and its all like BAM, BOOM, CA-POWY.. This is fun! Come on You Try Fluttershy!
um... Macintosh...is big... and nice... he's handsome...I mean! um...he...eep! 
Fluttershy where are you going come back!!!
Me? Fine.. I asked Mr. Apple to model for me but he kept ripping the fabric... it took me forever to get him properly fitted.
I bet it did!! 
and just what are YOU insinuating?! 
...Nothin'
Oh I get it.. Big Mac once licked me on the face and I once landed on him flank first!!
(together) WHAT!?!?! 
um... we kinda... sorta...
Howdy girls! whatcha talkin' bout?
(together) NOTHING!!!!
Ever wonder why Cadance is pink, but Celestia is white and Luna is a dark blue?
{
Death once came to Big Mac asking politely for a favor. He was feeling rather embarrassed and couldn't really find it in himself to let someone know they'd been dead for a few decades, so he asked Big Mac to tell him in his place. Big Mac, sensing the unease residing in the pony, gently put a comforting hoof on his shoulder. "I'll let him know in the morning."
The next day, Death opened his door to see Big Mac, accompanied by his charge. Chuck Norris stood somewhat bashfully next to the large workhorse. "You owe me one," Big Mac jokingly told Death as he walked back to his farm.
Norris shivered when he could no longer feel his presence, "Never again will I saw 'No' to him..." Death silently agreed.
}
Big Mcintosh asked Apple for majority share, since it was his product they were using as an icon. He received the notice in the mail that afternoon.
Big Mac has never broken the forth wall, rather, he instead walks through it as if it weren't there at all.
Big Mac declared that he had permanently lost the game, to save others from suffering from it. That's why you don't hear about it often anymore.
Ever wonder why Cadance is pink, but Celestia is white and Luna is a dark blue?
{
Death once came to Big Mac asking politely for a favor. He was feeling rather embarrassed and couldn't really find it in himself to let someone know they'd been dead for a few decades, so he asked Big Mac to tell him in his place. Big Mac, sensing the unease residing in the pony, gently put a comforting hoof on his shoulder. "I'll let him know in the morning."
The next day, Death opened his door to see Big Mac, accompanied by his charge. Chuck Norris stood somewhat bashfully next to the large workhorse. "You owe me one," Big Mac jokingly told Death as he walked back to his farm.
Norris shivered when he could no longer feel his presence, "Never again will I saw 'No' to him..." Death silently agreed.
}
Big Mcintosh asked Apple for majority share, since it was his product they were using as an icon. He received the notice in the mail that afternoon.
Big Mac has never broken the forth wall, rather, he instead walks through it as if it weren't there at all.
Big Mac declared that he had permanently lost the game, to save others from suffering from it. That's why you don't hear about it often anymore.
385080
Correction: Tartarus is too afraid to house him.
Fear of spiders is aracnaphobia, fear of tight spaces is chlaustraphobia, fear of Big Mac is called Logic.
Big Mac have a Ursa Major carpet in his room. The Ursa isn't dead, it's just to afraid to move.
Big Mac were on the moon over 1000 years ago. That's why it was so lonely for luna/nightmare moon.
Big Mac doesn't flush after taking a shit. He just scares the shit out of the toilet.
Big Mac can slam a revolving door.
There isn't a theory of evolusion in equestia. It's just animals Big Mac allows to live.
There were originally plans to make a "slenderman VS Big Mac" movie. it was canceled becaues they douldn't make it short enough.
At 10.34 nightmare night Big Mac went to the moon. at 10.35 Nightmare moon returned to earth.
There are four legal methods of execution in Equestria: lethal injection, gas chamber, electric chair and a buck from Big Mac.
NIghtmare Moon failed to invade equestria because Big Mac.
When Big Mac goes to the library he hoes looking for the "ponees equestriarecords" in the comics section.
Big Mac ate the cake.
387422 No offense, and i hate being the grammar nazi, but you're mixing up your time frames- some of your "have" 's should be "has" and "were" should be "was"... other than that funny stuff dude
387670 forgot to prof read them
my bad 
Grammar nazi doesn't correct Big Mac. Big Mac corrects him
I only have one, and it's got too many references in it to be funny.
Big Mac has only cried once- It created Equestria. This was widely regarded as his only mistake.
Okay, since when is Big Mac Chuck Norris?
411035 Since this didn't you read the top? there's also this
411108Damn. I wasn't paying attention
we'll i'm not gonna let this die. lets see...
it's a little known fact big mac did die once, in another world when asked about this he only stares wistfully at a pair of orange sunglasses on the wall.
most people think the eye of harmony that powers the TARDIS was created from the center of a black hole. in reality it is simply one 30,000 th the power of big macs buck.
big mac won the tri-wizard tournament, this is especialy impressive because big mac had never entered.
originaly shao kahns intention was to conquer the pony rhealm, but the pony rhealm cannot enter mortal kombat because big mac isn't allowed in.
originaly superman was going to go with the phrase "more powerful then big mac" he changed the phrase to locomotive a week later when asked why he pointed to a hoof mark on his face and said "a locomotive won't prove me wrong"
493495 It lives! let's see what I've got saved up...
From Stoggy - The reason big mac didn’t stop Discord in season 2 was because he was tired of turning him to stone-
When Big Mac hits the snooze button on his alarm clock, the sun goes back to where it was ten minutes ago
After seeing Shining Armor throw Cadence, Rainbow Dash asked Big Mac to throw her for a faster take off - she ended up going Mach 6
Big Mac beat Halo 4 on legendary in an hour. With a Pistol. That was empty. He could've finished it sooner but he liked the cinematics
big mac is the mentor for the equestrian order of asassins, he was not born into the creed, he has never been trained, he just is the mentor.
494919 Big Mac is the world joust champion having defeated innumerable challengers including griffons, zebra, horse, and dragons. all he used was the wheat sprig in his mouth.
what nopony knows is the crystal heart is an actual to scale model of big macs heart. where it fully functional the crystal empire would be forever letting off the aura of swag.
495318 the stallion had his own stain glass window that was inside Celestia's own bed chambers, now she just cuddles with a life sized plushy whenever he's unavailable.
Whenever Big Mac goes "Crystally" a new star is born. His gift to Luna and her night sky
Big Mac sneezed and it created Hurricane Sandy... sorry East Coast
one time during school big mac fell asleep well writing an english paper quill still in his mouth. out of desperation he turned the paper full of scribblings in. this paper is now known as 'beauty and the beast'
495448 After hearing about the Crystal Empire's unique berries, Big Mac sought to create the first Crystal Apple. He succeeded, earning himself the Equestrian Nobel Prize in Agriculture... Again. His next project - a pie made using both the Crystal Apple and Zap Apple... May Faust have mercy on us all!!!