Story Reviews » SA Reviews #79 · 12:25am Mar 14th, 2016
Seattle's Angels is a group that promotes good stories with low views. You can find us here.
Sunlight streamed through the windows of SA Headquarters, at which CV could only marvel from his perch on the ceiling. He looked down, or possibly up, at Archonix and grinned.
"Classy place, ain't it?"
"Maybe," Archonix murmured as he stared at the windows. He brushed an imaginary spec from the immaculate three-piece suit he was wearing before looking away. "I've still not figured out how they managed to get a treehouse underground though. Or how they got one-way windows that you can't even see from the outside. Someone should so something about that."
"Someone should!" Plum yelled with aplomb as he rolled through the door. The entire case ot the Seattle's Angels followed after him, all dressed up and – for once – with somewhere to go. "And someone shall!"
CV shuffled along the ceiling and looked up, or possibly down at Plum. "Is that why we're all in these penguin suits?"
"I saidBlack Tie," Plum muttered. "And no."
Ferret, decked out in a sparkling silver number that just made her look adorable and cute and oh my god scampered to her place at the grand conference table in the centre of the room, where she sat on her card and beamed at the others. "We're here to decide who writes the next round!"
"Great! Where's the dartboard?"
"I thought we were pulling names out of a hat."
"I mean, penguin suits are sort of fancy, right?"
"Does anyone have any grey poupon?"
"Guys!" Ferret jumped up and down, frantically waving her paws about. "None of that! WE're going to make a fully-informed entirely democratic—"
"Plum and Arch," Sock yelled, in a voice that brooked no dissent. He turned and marched from the room.
"I suppose that works too," Ferret sniffed. She looked at the pair and smiled hopefully. "You ok with that?"
"Fine by me," Plum said. "Though I thought we'd need to make a bit of an effort to convince you."
Pav, who had been silently sneaking away, paused by the door. "No, we're good. You go be British."
The Angels filed out, mumbling about their fancy clothes and the price of starch, with CV waddling across the ceiling after them. With the door closed, the room was silent. Plum and Arch stared at one another.
Arch cocked an eyebrow. "You know what this means?"
Plum nodded. "Worldbuilding," He said. And then they began to laugh.
ROUND 79
STORY 1
An Equestrian Griffon, by MyHobby
A father reads his daughter a bedtime story pulled from history
Man, this round is going to fluster some jimbobs super hard. I love it.
Anyways, An Equestrian Griffon. Written for one of the WBA's competition, the prompt that spawned this story was "Fairy Tale". And rather than writing a story literally about the Fae (I'm looking at you, Norsepony), the author MyHobby chose to write a story about a story. Or, more accurately, a father reading his daughter a bedtime story. A classic tale of epic victories, bitter defeats, and friends in unlikely places. The star of the show is Andean, but the star of Andean's show is Gregor, a noble leader and bold adventurer. The two mirror each other in many ways, and young Stella's occasional chirped comments about her father's story are definitely a welcome addition.
GRYPHOOOOOOOONS
The meat of this story is about Gregor, his battle to lead his people to safety, and the adventures he has along the way. What I find most interesting, however, only becomes apparent after that part has finished, towards the end of the story. A commentary on the nature of Fairy Tales (and stories in general, really). How they can evolve over time, change to fit the whims of the teller, and ultimately, be whatever we want them to be. The difference between the Brothers Grimm, and Walt Disney, where worlds can be black and white, or just various shades of grey, and how neither of these are worse than any others.
It's a story about a story, featuring messages about messages. Not bad, really.
“It’s a pony,” Stella said.
The father lost his place, the words dying on his beak. He squinted at his daughter with a severe frown.
“Hooves, colorful coat, braying language, it’s a pony.” Stella shrugged and spread her wings wide. “Surprise, I guess?”
The father harrumphed and held the book close to his beak. “Might have been a donkey,” he mumbled to himself.
Worldbuilding! Adventure! Excitement! Romance Alright that may not be entirely true. In fact it's almost entirely a lie, from a certain point of view.
One of the less common and more difficult forms of storytelling is that of the story within a story, or in this case using the frame of a character telling a story in order to tell another story about that character. In this, we have a father telling his children the story of the origin of their people, or at least the origin of their current circumstance. Woven around that...
But let's focus on the story he tells for a moment. It's a heroic epic, in substance something akin to the old chivalric Romances, with a tale of adventure and honour amongst the strange wonders of the world, and defeat of the predatory foe. We follow Gregor, leading a motley band of Griffons on an escape from Tirek in his first rampage across the world, his travails in the new world in which he finds himself, and his first meeting with the ponies. Suffice to say, it was quite a romp, and it ends on a high note of happily ever after.
And that's important, for where the story goes next shows us that happiness is fleeting, and that unlike fairy tales, life is filled with injustice and bitterness. And yet we need those tales, those stories of high adventure with their happy endings. We tell lies about the world to our children because, to paraphrase Chesterton, fairy tales are more than true — not because they tell us dragons exist, but because they tell us dragons can be beaten.
STORY 2
Reminder, by Cloudhammer
Sometimes, we all need a little reminder of where we're from
Man, Diamond Dogs are an absolute goldmine for references. Everything from David Bowie, to Moulin Rouge, to Metal Gear Solid, it's hard to escape their reach. Which is appropriate, considering how long their arms are in the show.
But I shall resist, noble reader. I shan't besmirch this review with references to any of these things. Your eyes are safe, for now.
Why do that when I can sink so, so much lower?
Reminder is a story about a dog and a pony show, who are like family to each other. In fact, they pretty much are family. In fact, everyone here is basically family to one another, even if it's only in the second-cousin-once-removed-and-only-seen-at-the-family-christmas-party way. That's actually more of an apt comparison than I'd originally meant it to be, as the story revolves around a traditional gathering between the various packs, to give offerings and thanks for what they've recieved.
It's a very quick story, at just under 2k words, and has a kind of... je ne se quois about it that I don't quite understand, but still appreciate. It's a story that's about remembering there are more important things in life than just winning.
And I must say, it played me like a damn fiddle.
Come now, you didn't really believe me, did you?
I'm going to be honest right at the start here and say there's a thing about this I didn't quite get, but that doesn't matter, because this is a story about things you do and enjoy even if they don't quite make sense.
One of many, many entries in the World Building Alliance competitions, this particular Dog and Pony show reveals a little of the world and ways of the Diamond Dogs – but with a twist, one that lets the author explore ideas that wouldn't be so easy to work with otherwise. We're introduced to Peony and Tumble, a pony and a dog, who are attending a ceremonial event called a packmeet.
Through the interactions between Peony and Tumble we are introduced to a world far outside of the Equestrian norm, with little hitns and refs to events that have taken place elsewhere that work together to build an image of two close friends with an unusual heritage, one that becomes clear toward the last third of the story, but that the eagle-eyed reader will have spotted the moment they read the names of these two characters.
Despite its length, there's a lot to glean from this fic and even though I didn't quite get it, I still got it.
STORY 3
Expedition, by Raugos
A group of griffon explorers braves the Abysmal Abyss to recover the lost Idol of Boreas. Friendship slowly ensues.
Ahh, more gryphons! Excellent! Proud warrior people, who probably get fed breadcrumbs down by the local pond, or get tangled up in giant balls of string. Truly the mightiest of species.
Anyway, in stark contrast to An Equestrian Griffon's take on the world of the catbirb, this one is far more grounded in post-season 5 canon. Namely: Griffonstone, and the lost treasure of it. That, and the highly greed-motivated society of said town.
GRYPHOOOOOOOONS
And yet... not quite. While Griffonstone itself is pretty true-to-show, Raugos has used that as a foundation for his ideas, yet built much from it. A glimpse of it is all we have so far, but it's a very pleasing glimpse of Grand Houses, great clans, and inter-faction rivalry that always tickles my fancy when it comes to this particular race.
The main character of this tale is Lenny. If you think that's a bit of an odd name for a gryphon, you're absolutely right. Cos he's not one. He's a pony. Still a bit of a weird name if you ask me...
I digress, however. Lenny is the main character, alongside Audri, of House Redtail. The same house that adopted young Lenny, making the pegasus/gryphon pair brother and sister. Their relationship is pretty adorable, actually. Top marks for that. The two of them are answering a call put out by a down-on-his-luck son-of-a-Lord, who believes retrieving King Gluto's Idol from the Abysmal Abyss will restore his house to glory, and also chase away those pesky debt collectors hounding him.
Another epic tale, even if it's just beginning, I'm kinda hoping that featuring his story here will help encourage Raugos to write more of it soon. Hint hint
Birb
Is there a catbird theme this week? Maybe. Or maybe it's worldbuilding. Or adventures? I dunno, the only time I see anyone else is when they refill the gin dispenser.
Even after the escapades and worldcrafting of The Lost Treasure of Griffonstone, there has been plenty of scope for writers to explore the lives and history of these enigmatic beasties. Far from killing off the idea of the Griffons as the proud, noble, totally-not-klingons of Friendship is Magic, Griffonstone has, if anything, cemented much of the fanon surrounding them.
In Expedition we've got some mixing up going on, with a pegasus raised by Griffons who, with his sister, takes part in an expedition to recover the Idol of Boreas. Real Indiana Jones stuff. From the very start this story keys off the hostility and bitterness of the Griffons of Griffonstone, yet plays with it too, turning a monotonous portrayal of Griffons into a continuum of behaviours. Far from being representative of Griffons, Griffonstone becomes merely the extreme pinnacle of the stereotype.
But the stereotype remains. Lenny faces prejudice throughout his journey and has come to expect it, though raised as a Griffon, he still betrays a pony sort of optimism that maybe this time will be different. Of course he displays all of the behaviours you'd expect, accompanied by that ever-present retreat to honour that warrior races seem to love so much.
Here we find the central conceit of the story, for which the expedition and its accompanying drama, thrilling fights and daring leaps into the unknown is just a setting. Lenny and his companions, griffons all, have to learn the magic of friendship if they're going to survive against the odds in the depths of the Abysmal Abyss, but it seems the only teacher available is Gilda.
Still, at least they won't go hungry any time soon.
STORY 4
Marmite Showers, by Blueshift
A pony from Trottingham brings the delicious taste of Marmite to Ponyville. Is Ponyville ready for the greatest British food of all time?
And now for a tale about the most peculiar of creatures:
The British.
Yes, it's those wacky Brits at it again, with their funny accents, love of cricket, and smoking hot bods unusual tastes. From Marmite, to Monster Munch, we do have more than a couple of unusual dishes. But at least we can proudly declare that we're not as bad as the French.
I must admit that, despite the opinion of my colleague, I am partial to the occasional spot of Marmite (it's fantastic on toast). I shan't deny for a second, however, that literally everything in this story is 100% factually accurate, from the yeast bi-product factoids, to the people lying on the floor, being propelled in circles by the force of their vomiting. I am the Marmite Showers of my family, forever doomed to bear witness to these vomiting catherine wheels.
Could be worse, though. Could be Stargazey Pie.
Not pictured here: A PIE THAT STARES AT YOU WITH A HALF DOZEN EYES AS YOU GET READY TO EAT IT SERIOUSLY WTF CORNWALL
Ahh, the heady days of yore, the youth of the fandom, when "character comes to ponyville" was just fading as a trope but not quite a cliché.
Marmite Showers arrives in Ponyville, hoping for acceptance and community, and it's up to Twilight Sparkle to bring the townsfolk together in appreciation of the unique perspective he has to offer. It all goes terribly wrong.
This story fundamentally a lesson on why not everything can be shades of grey. Whilst it's a noble idea, in the end there are some... substances... that simply cannot be tolerated in any civilised society. This story features two of them: the titular Marmite and another equally vile concoction that, for some godforsaken reason, has not been scourged from the earth by the rising legions of the Emperor himself. The contrast of Ponyville's collective beliefs about the two spreads could be read as a clever jab at the way people will take extreme positions over peculiar things without considering the possibility of other, more balanced perspectives.
Like hating both.
I mean, it's not that way, but it could be read that way.
In the end this is a one-joke fic, but a cleverly constructed one that skewers each aspect of Ponyville's famed egalitarian acceptance with a deft and surprisingly subtle satire of the sort of fics that were – and probably still are – so very popular for a time.
Incidentally I can't stand Marmite, so of course I loved this story. You might feel different.
Care for some cheese?
"I hear laughing," said Sock. He pressed his garter up against the door and frowned.
Ferret glanced at CV and squeezed her paws together. "What are they laughing about?"
"I think...something about building a new world?"
Silence reigned for a brief moment, punctuated by the occasional indrawn breath.
Pav slowly raised a hand. "I suggest locking the door."
"And I suggest also moving to another tree," Squirrel added. He looked at the others, snuffling his little nose nervously. "What? I like trees!"
Pav shook his head as they filed from the room. "Not after the cost of the last few moves. Besides, if I can't have my ships, you can't have your trees."
Only Ferret remained. She looked at the door and sighed. "Maybe a new world wouldn't be so bad after all."
Feel free to visit our group for more information and events, and to offer some recommendations for future rounds. See you all next time!
I love you guys. You have brought so many wonderful stories to our attention.
I'm British and I like Marmite.
Shame that good ol' Cloudy's off being trained in matters of the Army right now.
He'd be giddy at finding himself in this post, I'd bet.
~Skeeter The Lurker
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Good lad.
Now if you only liked Vinegar on your Fish and Chips, we could almost call you human.
i.telegraph.co.uk/multimedia/archive/02069/C269NA_2069508c.jpg
I have no idea what this round is talking about, so here's a picture of a gryphon with Marmite over her head.
tomorrowlands.org/images/pony/gilda-marmite-search-results.jpg
I... I feel betrayed.
)
(Assuming that's not simply a phrase I don't know
That aside, I'll check these out. I bloody love most of the stories you guys tell us about that. Good thing I'm on break now
I can't believe Marmite Showers has fewer than 1000 views! :O Pleased to see it here otherwise, though!
Note to self: check spelling before sending reviews next time...
I just looked up what Stargazy Pie is and ohmygoshwhy?!
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Not just reviews; also whoever did the intro.
I don't always read everything you guys review, but damn if you don't fill up my RiL (and, then, later, my Favourites).
I am not British, but I like to try new foods. When you next rocket off to space, do try to bring back a few delicacies.
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You're right, I did get all warm and fuzzy inside. I need to go pump some iron now