Thoughts that come from browsing the "New Stories" list · 3:53am Jan 15th, 2016
Oh, look, it's yet another...
(Note: This is not a complete list, and any given story may have several items that apply to it.)
..."displaced" story.
...half-assed Doctor Who crossover.
..."romantic" self-insert where the writer gets to boff the pony or Equestria Girl of his choice.
...HiE story that also involves a zombie apocalypse for some reason.
...pony who's a serial killer.
...stupid Dragonball crossover.
...crossover of nothing I recognize, with no effort made to identify it in the story description, which pretty much means they won't bother to introduce/explain the non-MLP property in the story, either.
...gods-damned diaper story.
...story involving other fetishes that are icky even to a pervert like me.
...all-OC story involving only characters that are no of interest to anyone besides the writer.
...HiE story where the main character is a sarcastic, allegedly smart-assed (but more sort of dumb-assed) non-brony.
...attempt to gain popularity by metaphorically cashing in on the words "Fallout Equestria".
...knockoff/sequel/prequel/rewrite/re-imagining of another famous ponyfic.
...uncredited use of Nyx the Overrated, possibly as part of a foal OC's circle as friends.
...alicorn OC for no reason other than the writer just really likes them, or couldn't pick a favorite pony tribe, with no effort whatsoever to try to properly integrate them into the setting.
...alicorn OC who is a canon-defying long-lost sibling of the royal sisters.
...OC moving to Ponyville.
...new arrival to Ponyville who immediately becomes best buddies with all of the Mane Six, and possibly some supporting and background characters as well.
...go at awkwardly shoehorning an OC into the events of the pilot episodes (and maybe other episodes as well) without any consideration as to how adding another character to the dynamic might alter events.
...second-person perspective story that is of no interest to me because it isn't either an official, brand-name "Choose Your Own Adventure" story or one of the many knock-offs that came out during their era of peak popularity.
...foal being adopted by Twilight Sparkle.
...emotionally manipulative story of the "BE SAD NOW!" school of writing.
...story including a topic that has no place in MLP.
...effort to push an agenda through the medium of mouthpiece ponies.
...set of characters who aren't acting at all in-character.
...unwarranted demonization of Princess Celestia.
...person who doesn't understand that republics have elected officials, not unelected despotic monarchs.
...HiE story with an edgy, badass Special Forces protagonist and a lot of emphasis on gear porn.*
...would-be comedy writer who thinks that making pop-culture references is the same thing as making jokes.**
...story where the protagonist is a post-adolescent pony who is lacking a cutie mark.***
...writer who is allegedly well over the site's minimum age of thirteen, yet shows no grasp of any of the basic language skills that should have been mastered by age ten.
...exercise in taking a huge dump all over the concept of originality.
...reason for me to wearily groan "Fuuuuck yooouu..."
* "After lovingly sliding his .50-caliber Rod & Johnson P3-N15 heavy pistol into its W#0R3 holster, he ran a CPE-1704-TKS Tactical Comb through his hair and listened to that song that REM did with KRS-One."
** I give Seth MacFarlane a lot of blame for that.
*** This is something I recently described as a "Surprise Reverse Un-Special Snowflakening maneuver". You can find more of what I said about that here.
Yeah, that's FiMFiction for you.
Isn't that at least half of the site? I know a decent chunk of my work has no business involving colorful ponies.
Don't forget attempts to use a celebrity death to gain cheap internet points, because obviously there's no better tribute to a beloved deceased celebrity than a slapdash, derivative pony fanfic vomited out in half an hour with no editing and posted on the site before the celebrity being mourned is even cold in the ground
3687372
Insufficient data. Also, opinions vary concerning what has no place in MLP. I would think most reasonable people would include subjects like abortion and the 9/11 terror attacks on their lists, and yet there have been fics written on this site concerning those very topics.
3687375
That one actually did cross my mind, yes. But I don't see it with anywhere near the frequency that I do any of these other items. Before the David Bowie one that was cranked out recently, the last ones I remember were about Robin Williams. (Although the one that used Ponyacci -- a famous pony clown found in the comics -- as a stand-in for Mr. Williams wasn't bad.) Then again, I don't see quite as many new stories as you do, so it might be more common than I think.
ih0.redbubble.net/image.10902624.8022/flat,800x800,075,f.jpg
3687393
If I somehow managed to come up with something that you forgot to include, feel free to grab it as a potential future prompt.
3687389 It's not super common, mostly because beloved celebrities don't die all that often (until recently, holy hell), but I guess it's just one that sticks in my mind a lot more because it's almost every single time. I legitimately feel some genuine sadness because somebody I cared about is gone, and within 12 hours there's a fic going up where Twilight says some trite garbage about happiness and Rainbow Dash stops crying, and then the sun comes out from behind the clouds and everything is going to be okay.
It almost tarnishes that person's memory, somehow, and it gets under my skin more than most of the stupid stuff people do. Fail to understand good literature all you want, but don't exploit the death of a beloved public figure just to jerk off your internet ego.
Also it's like, when one of the first thoughts that comes into my mind after hearing the sad news is "how long until someone writes ponyfic about it?", that makes me want to stop living on this planet.
3687414
Yeah, no kidding. I try to take comfort in the fact that Hans Gruber is recruiting Norse warriors from Valhalla and Greek tricksters from Hades to pull a heist in the pharaohs-only section of the Egyptian Land of the Dead.
I agree, and I'm damn close to dropping that "almost". Even if it's sincere -- and I think at least part of the time it is -- it still comes off as opportunistic. "This'll get me featured for sure!"
Professor Hubert Farnsworth and I understand that sentiment completely.
3687414
3687484
It does have me wondering what project could be going on up there that badly needs Terry Pratchett's writing, David Bowie's music, and, say, Alan Rickman, Robin Williams and Leonard Nimoy as actors...
(All right, 2015 on the last two.)
--arcum42
3687508
Obviously heaven's putting on a production of Guards! Guards!
Well you complain an awful lot, why don't you at least say what you'd like to see? Hmm?
3687524
I suppose I could see David Bowie as Carrot...
--arcum42
3687534
i.imgur.com/SGy6gbf.png
--Sweetie Belle
3687508 Harrison Ford is going to be next, and within a day there'll be a fic where Han Solo and Chewbacca wake up in Ponyville and Han says "Chewie... we're home..."
And then I'm gonna cut my wrists yaaaay
3687534
I gave an example of good stuff the last time I talked about bad fanfiction.
Not my fault if you don't pay attention.
Edit: Also, for a lot of these entries, it should be fairly easy to guess that the answer to "What would Elric like instead?" would be "Not that."
Look on the bright side: there's no "ponies are homophobes because, you know, we need to project problems of our society to ponies because why the flying fuck not."
~Twi
Average day on Fimfiction.
3687727
Well, not lately...
Silly Elric. You forgot '....story cashing in on a meme created by a popular FiMFiction writer.'
I'm looking at a new story that's a 'Would it matter if I was...' story by another name, right now.
And possibly '...story that had its hay-day three seasons ago." Because, while I can't believe it, I'm also seeing a Mare-Do-Well-traumatizes-Dash-into-near-suicide story. Holy hell. I thought that went out of style years ago.
3687846
Hmmm... good point. I'm just gonna lump that in with "knockoff/sequel/prequel/rewrite/re-imagining of another famous ponyfic" for now. I know that jumping on the latest story trend with answer fics and fixfics isn't quite the same as rehashing "Rainbow Factory" yet again, but it's close enough for government work. (Plus I did say that it wasn't a complete list...)
Again?!
Wow, I didn't even know I was still on your radar...
3687870
I still stalk you. And read your blogs! And posts, if I see 'em. But Lumie has been having a bad couple'a months, and I haven't been engaging much.
A lot of people have fallen a bit to the wayside, in my hermitude.
3687878
It happens. Just let people know when it does, and we can drag you back into the pony fold.
With heavy equipment, if necessary.
Hope things improve for you soon...
3687888
S'getting better.
Through heavy equipment-pulling from a few dedicated friend-types.
How's an Elric in this day and age? Last I heard you weren't havin' the best'a times yourself. But that was a while ago.
3687535
Well I was thinking more him writing the soundtrack but that could work too. Or maybe he could play Vimes.
Of course Rickman would be Vetinari.
3687895
I'll drop you a message.
3688567
Oh, hells yes.
3687414 All of this. I swear that if someone writes one about Alan Rickman, I will go full Librarian.
3687538 lol!
3687626 >complains
>gets complaint about complaining
>complains some more
>links to more complaining
3690072
I don't know if you've noticed, but complaining about stuff -- especially stupid shit -- is not exactly a new thing for me. It's part of my identity on this site, for better or worse. If you don't like it, you don't have to follow me. I'd rather lose followers than have somebody give me a hard time for making my thoughts known around here. It's what I do.
After all, it's not like I go to where you practice your hobbies and give you critiques on the way you suck dick...
3689356
I'd expect that the people that would write "Alan Rickman in Equestria" stories have mostly already gotten it out of their systems. There are already at least two "Severus Snape in Equestria" stories on the site I know of, and people tend to intermingle actors and the characters they play...
3688567
Well, playing a character and writing the soundtrack aren't mutually exclusive. He played the goblin king and did music for Labyrinth. I suppose Carrot would call for a younger Bowie, though.
--arcum42
I feel you bro.
*Checks*
Nope. I posted nothing that day. *Whew*
3705972
This is more about generalized observations than any particular day...
Actually, it doesn't even look like I've read anything of yours.
3705986
I know, I'm just messing.
That's cool. Just read Titanium Dragon's reviews of my stories. Everything you need to know in one paragraph.
Is that really that common? I mean i flirted with the idea, but never put it to fimfictio, i don't think.
4036227
I couldn't tell you how many I've seen.
4049600 well, glad to know that my decision to not put it to fimfiction was not an error. Damn though. Oddly specific.
4052435
Well, you know, zombies are still pretty big in pop culture right now. Sooner or later that'll wind down and we might be back at vampires again, or maybe we'll move on to something else.
Hmm, is the Celestia Demonization thing for all fics of that type, or just the shite trying to cash in on the idea in general? Because I have a lot of respect for fics such as Lines and Webs and The Codes Apprentice. Or does the unwarranted part of the line refer to something in specific?
…Sonic crossover (although this counts as a "crossover you don't recognize").