PhD In Rockology: Petriculture

Kwakerjak is one of my favorite authors on FiMFiction, a status he earned through his fantastic Fluttershy story, Flash Fog. However, that story is not his most popular or enduring work; that title would go to the Petriculture Cycle, a series of stories set in the same continuity with an imaginative premise to them. This is a series of posts reviewing and commenting on those stories.

The first story set in the cycle -and the one which gave it it's name- Petriculture concern's itself with Twilight trying to figure out what rock farming is... a task made more difficult by Pinkie Pie's reluctance to talk about her past.

That last point is one which is important to place in it's historical context. This story was published in 2012, before the premiere of season three, much less the introduction of Maud in season four. While it's unfair to judge the story by something which it had no control over, I'd be remiss if I didn't point out that the expanded Pie family makes lines such as this:

“In any case, Rainbow Dash does have a point,” Twilight Sparkle reluctantly concluded. “Pinkie Pie doesn’t like talking about her past, and she could have just been trying to end the conversation as soon as possible.” The purple unicorn sighed. “I guess it’s another dead end.”

momentarilly head-scratching. However, it is a minor point -and one which, as I said, the fic had no control over, so it's hardly a deal breaker as far as quality goes.

In fact, in terms of quality, Petriculture is very good.

To start, while it is tagged as a Twilight and Pinkie Pie story, every member of the Mane Six get's their moment to shine. Twilight's quest for answers is what drives the story, naturally, but it's made clear early on that Twilight's dogged pursuit is not necessarily one that should be encouraged. When she decides to just ask Pinkie Pie what rock farming is - the most obvious solution- she get's this response:

Watching the most cheerful pony in Ponyville (and quite possibly all of Equestria) express any emotion other than exuberance was starting to get depressing—and it almost seemed as though her mane was starting to get noticeably less frizzy. “Alright… it’s a start, at least. Sorry for dragging up the past, Pinkie.

It's clear to the readers that the subject isn't one that Pinkie wants to discuss... and since she is a character who the audience (presumably) likes, we're left with the impression that Twilight should just let the topic drop. It's an implication which is re-enforced throughout the story, with Applejack offering a plausible explanation for what rock-farming is and waving away the subject as 'Pinkie being Pinkie'; later, Spike will add his voice to the chorus by complaining about Twilight dragging him to the Canterlot library. By the time Twilight shouts -albeit it accidentally- at the rest of her friends and the Canterlot librarian, it's clear that getting to the bottom of things has become something of an obsession for her.

Which is not meant as a criticism of her character; in fact, it's a trait which is very consistent with her character. It's balanced by the B-Plot of the story; as Twilight points out, she isn't so obsessed with finding answers that she wouldn't have gone to Canterlot for them if she didn't have to visit her parents anyway. While Twilight has an obsession for knowledge and fitting pieces together, it doesn't make her unsympathetic.

It also helps to tie the two plot lines together quiet elegantly. When the story begins, it seems as if the issue of Twilight's parents arrival is simply a McGuffin to kick start the plot; she is obsessing over them, so she needs something else to obsess over, which leads to the rock farm inquiries. However, her mother's illness -and the fact that Twilight has to go to Canterlot to visit them- helps the further the A-Plot, by giving Twilight access to resources which it would have strained credulity to give her in Ponyville. It also has the benefit of separating her from her friends, most notably for the train ride home after she has seen the scrap book and started to piece the truth about Pinkie Pie together. By the time she arrives in Ponyville, she is disoriented and separated, from Spike, her friends.. and the reader. It makes the resulting Surprise reveal stronger.

Of course, that leads to the reveal itself, that Pinkie Pie was Twilight Sparkle imaginary friend Surprise, given life during Twilights out-of-control magic surge during the Cutie Mark Chronicles. It is, admittedly, a very different resolution to why Pinkie Pie is able to do things in accordance with cartoon physics. It might even be regarded as one which is a bit too esoteric or out there for the show...
But, while it's not an explanation I would like for the show to use, it's one which I'm not adverse to seeing in fanfiction. As I said, it's a very different and unique concept, but it's also one which serves the further Twilight's character. The monologue she gives about why she created Surprise is heartfelt, the kind of story which will definitely resonate with anyone who has ever been the awkward kid in a class room:

Twilight chose not to respond to this directly. “As you can probably guess, when I was a filly, I was even more of an introvert than I am now; I think you could say I was a loner. Most of the time, I was able to get by. I always had my books, my family, and toys like Smarty Pants, but there was still something missing, and it was always obvious whenever there was a party. From my point of view, there were two kinds of parties: the kind I wasn’t invited to, and the kind where I was invited because somepony’s parents made them invite all the foals in their class. Both kinds made me feel utterly miserable, so eventually, I decided to create my own friend—a pony who would throw parties for me no matter what happened. I named her Surprise, and I drew this picture of her. We... I mean, I had a lot of fun with her. When she wasn’t throwing me a party in my room, she would make me laugh by doing all kinds of crazy things that shouldn’t have been possible, but it was okay, because she was imaginary, so the normal rules didn’t apply to her. But... after I got my cutie mark and Princess Celestia accepted me as her protege, I... stopped thinking about her. In fact, it wasn’t until I opened this scrapbook that I remembered who she was. Besides the different colors, and the fact that she had wings, she... she looked just like you, Pinkie Pie. She acted like you. I think her voice even sounded like yours.”

Besides the "feels", however, the story also does a good job of simply making the reader laugh. A lot of this comedy comes from Twilight's obsessive nature, of course. Mrs Cake's early reaction to seeing Twilight is funny:

“Twilight! Um, it’s nice to see you again. Er, I suppose you’ve got some further specifications for the cake you ordered? I assure you, Mr. Cake and I have followed the frosting recipe you provided to the letter—we made sure to use the slide rule you gave us to scale down the ratios the way you asked, and we went out and got the brand of vanilla extract you requested, and we’ve mixed the food coloring to the precise shade of blue you wanted, and we’ve made sure that the piping is exactly 3 millimeters thick, and…”

but it's also matched the dry wit that Applejack brings when debunking Twilight's theories of what a rock farm is. As well as refuting Twilight (and fanon theories on what rock farms could be) the lines themselves are just funny, like MST3K -or a snarky fan- decided to look at the fandom and mock the magic with practicality:

Applejack sighed. “Sugarcube, don’t take this the wrong way, but that might be the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard come outta the mouth of a pony as smart as you.”

“Twilight, just trust me on this one. I just can’t imagine why any earth pony with even an ounce of sense would ever try to farm rocks. An’ you know why? Because we can mine all the ones we’d ever need without havin’ to waste time trying to grow ’em.”

“Twi, it looks to me like you’re tryin’ ta explain somethin’ that don’t need an explanation. It’s just Pinkie bein’ Pinkie, and it ain’t worth gettin’ all worked up over.

Granted, Rainbow's dig at Rarity for being from St Paulomino didn't quite land for me, but that's a different brand of comedy... and the idea behind it, of Rainbow teasing Rarity for hiding her parents background is funny enough to stand on it's own without the accent.

If I have a complaint with the story, it would be this: for all that I do feel the plot holds together, there is a line early on which seems to cheat with the reveal and the concept. Early on, Spike objects to Twilight's musings with this line:

“Well, it isn’t just about Pinkie Pie, right? She said her entire family did it, and they’re relatively normal.”

This line -particularly when reading this fic in light of Maud's existence- implies that the Mane Six have met Pinkie Pie's family; Spike seems to speak from first hand experience, rather than being told by Pinkie that they were normal. This stands in contrast to the ultimate reveal that they don't actually exist. While this line doesn't explicitly say that the Mane Six have met the Pie's, it is certainly implied... and a minor hang-up on my part.

On the whole, however, this is an interesting concept, one which explains away Pinkie's 'Pinkie-ness' in a fashion which I've never seen before.