Fantastic Breasts and Where to Find Them

A poem about Harry Potter erotica.
Its point is that the porn considered "normal" is more twisted than the porn in fan-fiction.

... though I'm not sure all of our fandom can say the same.

Comments

[Scootareader]

I find this mildly discomforting. Not because it reveals some terrifying new insight into the human condition or anything, but because it has to do with Harry Potter erotica.

[RBDash47]

the porn considered "normal" is more twisted than the porn in fan-fiction

Ah, optimism.

[Bradel]

I loaded an image into my Photobucket account last week, and I think I'm gonna make use of it again here.

i1278.photobucket.com/albums/y513/bradelbound/i-approve_zps4zy4kbbg.jpg

[Nyerguds]

Whoo. Confronting. Very nice.

Still, she clearly hasn't seen The Weird Part of the Internet(C)(R)(TM) when it comes to R34

I mean, the general sentiment in fanfic porn seems to be "everything goes because they're not real people". Um. Porn actors are also just acting, y'know. I'm pretty sure more than half of these lesbians aren't lesbian, and none of these "hot stepmoms" are actually that guy's mom, step or not.

Fair point about people getting desensitized, perhaps, and it definitely portrays a wrong image of sex in general, yes... but still.

[Bad Horse]

The puzzling thing to me about mainstream porn is that it's all degrading. Almost 100%. At least, the pirated stuff I've seen clips from. Every god damn scene (that isn't that slow-mo fuzzy softcore made-for-women shit that's dubbed over with saxophone music) begins with a BJ and ends with a money shot. Who likes that?

[bookplayer]

3436879
I've been developing a theory that nearly all fictional or staged porn has some aspect of BDSM involved, and that rather than being a fetish, BDSM is something (modern, western) people enjoy near-universally to some extent. Labeling something BDSM is just a matter of how blatant it is.

I think the reason for it is that BDSM creates a story, however subtle; a power imbalance, power fantasy, and/or a fear of danger or consequences. I suspect this helps people relate and get involved more easily.

This is all wild theorizing here, but it makes sense with the things I've seen and read.

[Nyerguds]

3436879
Fair point. Finding nice porn is hard. It's out there... but yeah. Far too little.

[PresentPerfect]

I was promised fantastic breasts and I am feeling somewhat lied to :C

[Nyerguds]

3437068
Come now. The displayed pair is fairly fantastic. It does come packaged, though

[Bradel]

3437068
You were promised only information about where to find them!

The answer is apparently "Attached to real women, and Harry Potter characters".

[Titanium Dragon]

3436936
I actually have a more obvious suspicion:

The people who make pornographic movies assume people want what THEY want.

You've got folks who are basically telling other people to have sex at their demand. You've got folks who are in a position of great power relative to other folks. You've got folks who WANT to produce stuff like this.

And there is the general vision of the person who consumes porn of being either a teenager, or a sad man who can't get any because they're kind of creepy.

And when I think about the teenager who does it, they're all about drooling over naked ladies.

How much market research do most people who produce pornography do? There is, to the best of my knowledge, no great well of studies of what people want in pornographic materials, and judging by the things that people commission furry artists to produce, a lot of it is actually pretty tame - when people can pay for anything they want, a lot of what they want isn't actually that dirty (though some of it is, obviously, quite, uh, interesting).

The only scientific journal I'm aware of about porn, Porn Studies. opened up only last year, but determining what people want in pornography seems like a fairly daunting task from the standpoint of market research. How specific are people's desires? What do people really want? Could you expand the market for porn? Get people to pay for the specific kind of porn they want? Is there any way to track which porn people would gravitate towards in a vacuum?

Google is probably helpful to some extent (we have a vast repository of search terms) but many of them may not be as specific as we'd want, or may not be capable of showing differences which are important.

[Titanium Dragon]

3437042
I exclusively consume artistic pornography. Porn of real people actually kind of grosses me out.

Of course, being a shameless furry helps.

[Soundslikeponies]

The rambling about slaughter houses was a bit of exaggeration. Regular prostitutes may not necessarily have it good, but from what I've seen/heard porn stars generally get fat checks and have fun doing what they do.

One satisfies the need for a sexual connection and the other satisfies sexual urges. Biologically speaking I think (most) men have more sexual urges while (most) women have more of a desire for a sexual connection.

3436879

begins with a BJ and ends with a money shot. Who likes that?

I think it's "cheaper", extends the run time of the porn, and is just something easier for the actress to do. So basically BJs are the filler arc of the porn world.

[Georg]

I have to admit, I missed the name-pun in the title the first time I read this.

Although ponified, wouldn't that be The Udder Side of Monsters?

[Ticktacker]

Less strange then regular porn?
You have obviously never heard of this guy
https://www.fimfiction.net/user/Bronystories
I will always say something when someone says all bronys are freaks but this guy...
Dont hold me responsible if you click that link.

[TheJediMasterEd]

"Hay girls, there sure is a lotta skin in this story, innit there?"

"There sure is!

"Yet despite all the acres of flesh in this fic, I just can't come up with the word that describes it."

"Well I can!"

"Ya can?"

"Why, sure..."

[Snowy]

3437233 I'm neutral on the art vs real porn thing, at least as far as their intrinsic qualities. But there sure seems to be a lot of drawn porn that's much, well, nicer than any widely available real porn. There are also some fantasies that are incompatible with real people, so the drawn stuff has that going for it too.

Also real porn is so damn hard to search, especially once you've been spoiled by a good tagging system. I used to go back and forth, but then I discovered the magic of boorus.

[Karach]

Aside from whether or not the girl is right (and she clearly is, obviously), how can one call her... speech a poem?
It sounded more like a political demonstration or an election program for a fierce feminist but a poem?

[Bad Horse]

3438849 That's like asking how to know when something's art.
But I'd say: intonation, delivery, repetition, but most importantly, her consistent use of images, metaphors, and compact concrete statements.

I am an unapologetic consumer of all things Potterotica, and the sexiest part is not the way Cho Chang rides that broomstick, or the sound of Myrtle moaning, the sexiest part is knowing they are part of a bigger story, that they exist beyond eight minutes in
“Titty Titty Gang Bang,” that their kegels are not the strongest thing about them, and still, I am told that my porn is unrealistic.

That's about 70 words, and 7 different statements.

An extended metaphor that connects back to the intro about fan-fiction:

It is just a side effect of industry. Everything gets cut into small, marketable pieces, you can almost forget they were ever real bodies. I will not practice bloody hands. I will not make-believe dissected women. My sex cannot be packaged, my sex is magic, it is part of a bigger story; I am whole. I exist when you are not fucking me, and I will not be cut into pieces anymore.

[Xepher]

Is it bad if what stands out most for me in this video is that she says "backslash" twice when verbalizing a URL? URLs use forward slashes. You can just say "slash." I know it's pedantic, but my brain just seems to check out on certain little things like that, and makes it hard to pay any attention to the rest of it in any serious way. It's like trying to learn anything actual about penguins from Benedict Cumberbatch.

[yamgoth]

3436879

Every god damn scene (that isn't that slow-mo fuzzy softcore made-for-women shit that's dubbed over with saxophone music) begins with a BJ and ends with a money shot. Who likes that?

Bleh. I fast forward those parts if there's gonna be another scene or just click to a new video when it gets to the money shot. It doesn't appeal to me much. I swear, I feel like money shots are a fetish of their own, and I just ain't into that kind of thing.

There's a massive advantage in being bisexual guy and finding a lot of stuff appealing: I ain't reduced to looking at just the same old shit. Like, one day I might be in the mood to see butt play (ok, a lot of butt play) and that'll transition into creampies and looking at some furry art, then I'll see something and be in the mood to see some guys making out and fucking on a porch, and then I'll want to see a chick thrown in there. That'll segue into watching some femdom and then bondage and then genital piercing... and it goes on and on... Sometimes, I feel kinda sorry for straight people cuz they can be stuck with more boundaries. Like, there's soooooo many more things than BJ and money shot.

Personally, I consoom a lot more amateur porn clips, and various fetishy stuff. Like, the amateur stuff looks like shit most of the time, but it's clips of normal people having sex, and man, that's hot. They ain't "super attractive" as the people they would cast in mainstream. They're a bit more realistic. The soundtrack is whatever the hell is on their iPod speakers and they do naughty stuff I can never find on mainstream crap.

And then there's my own massive fetish of tickling. I consoom a fuckton more of tickling art and clips than all the rest. It's a hilarious and awkward fetish. Like, a pic or video doesn't necessarily have to be sexual, and I could prolly get off to it. Here, I'll prove a point by posting tickle "porn" here and I might not get in trouble even

derpicdn.net/img/view/2013/11/17/474625__safe_fluttershy_monochrome_equestria+girls_feet_barefoot_tickling_artist-colon-sweethd_tickle+torture_tickle.png

*drools uncontrollably*

What?! They drew Flutter's feet really nice :3

Y'know... I'm wanting to think how the poem is about how much more creative smut in fanfics is than mainstream porn. I mean, it takes a lot of imagination to generate this kind of stuff. Money shots... same ol' shit.

Or that pimps run slaughterhouses.

3436936
Pfffftttt... like, 100% of tickling fics I've read involve a bit of bondage, even if just a little. Like, it can range from inquisitors interrogating super sensitive women, to crazy tentacles that tickle instead of rape (maybe), to crazy machines more akin to fucking machines, but aren't. And then there's one fic I read of a couple simply playing around and having a tickle fight like a bunch of kids. And there was no sex. Until the next chapter. Then they had sex

Yeah, this fetish is like completely bondage fueled. It's hard to wrap the mind around it not involving power and control.

3437233

Of course, being a shameless furry helps.

Waaaaaaaiiiiiit... I remember like a year ago, you told me you were totally not a furry. You roamed furry hang outs, but weren't a furry. Like, wut?!

But now you are a furry. I am assuming you have embraced your furry side. EEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!

So, does this mean I can share with you furry porn I found really hot? I found this pic of a catgrrl wearing a top hat and she's totally a cowgirl. Or maybe it's "doing it cowgirl"

inb4 BH finds this comment extra shameless and disturbing

[Titanium Dragon]

3443498
I've... always been a furry.

Like, since before I knew what a furry was.

I've probably "officially" been a furry since circa 2002 or so when I started hanging out in the Gryphon's Guild.

Not... sure where you got the idea I was otherwise. You might be thinking of someone else? Or maybe someTHING else?

Hm...

And no, please don't share furry porn with me