I, Moondancer · 2:11am Jul 5th, 2015
*Spoilers about the episode and deep personal feeling incoming, don't read if you want to avoid either*
Did Larson just write the best fanfic of all time?
Seriously, he took two throwaway lines, side characters and plot details and wove them into a deep story about trust, friendship and solitude. Man, that is OUR job! We are the ones to over-analyze and come up with side stuff for your creations!
Joking aside, this episode really spoke to me on a deep level and I think I have to express it somehow, so I made my joke, here is a confession:
I used to be exactly in the place Moondancer was.
It was scary to see so much of me on the screen. I used to be like that: Straight to University straight back home. No stops, no chats, no friends. I was there to study, not make friends. Studying was important. It was what I was good at and people... well... I wasn't good with them. Sure, I had friends but most of them through a friend we had in common and once she moved away, the others stopped caring.
I've heard that the only thing worse than being all alone was being all alone with someone, you hate.
Moondancer is always with someone she can't stand: Herself.
Some people were never taught to love themselves. And they find it easier to find appreciation or admiration or respect for their skills or their talents or whatever. But that can't substitute love, be it platonic or romantic.
As I said, I saw a lot of myself in Moondancer. How she winces when touched, the monomaniacal focus on things you excel at and the disarray in ones home, since you don't care enough about yourself to keep your living space clean.
These days, I am partially out of that trot. But I still slip, mostly because... I don't have a princess of friendship to show up and apologize for any damage done. But I have this show to remind me that I am not alone and just because I have trouble seeing the potential for friendship in others doesn't mean its not there.
