Bechdel's Law - revised chapter 2 · 12:42am Jul 23rd, 2012
Okay, so, quick update: I received some very helpful and legitimate critique on chapter two of BL, pointing out some glaring flaws I had overlooked. Which eventually led to a pretty significant rewrite, with the help of my co-author and several prereaders, who generously sacrificed some of their time to help me improve.
The new version is up now, and - barring some small errors that may still be lurking here and there - should be a lot better. The added content focuses mostly on exploring Rarity's feelings and motivations in more detail, instead of relegating all of that to the nearly-finished chapter 3, and also attempts to fix some minor continuity errors that slipped in unnoticed.
So if you had some gripes of your own about Rarity's chapter - or even if you liked it just fine! - I would humbly recommend that you consider rereading it. This should also help make the next chapter, which I hope to publish fairly soon, a bit more enjoyable, hopefully.
244464
Ah, sorry, I thought you were done adding your comments.
But even then, the biggest flaws should have already been addressed, at least, and every day the previous version remained published was sort of a like a thorn in my side...
If you spot anything particularly egregious in that latter section, be sure to let me know?
I'm kind of glad now I haven't read beyond the first chapter at this point. I often dislike reading multiple revisions of the same story unless I am proofreading it myself.
245081 read it now, its perfected.
Stating to re-read Rarity, but please tell us where to find this pic of Fluttershy, it 's beautiful !!
245136
It's from a picture I commissioned, which is going to make an appearance in Fluttershy's chapter. But since it doesn't contain any huge spoilers... here you go!
245736 /puts up the Aurora Signal.
245736
Thanks a lot Aurora, this picture of Fluttershy is over-cute, even little drunk.