Nosing & Tasting - Revisions? · 10:13pm Aug 15th, 2013
Ask any of my friends and fellow authors, and they'd probably tell you that one of the biggest downsides of being (vaguely) acquainted with me is that, every single time I'm about to publish something, I invariably turn to one of them in the middle of a pre-publishing nervous breakdown, utterly convinced that I've just written the worst thing ever. 
Yesterday night was no different. Only this time, it just so happened that nobody in my motley crew of cloppy co-conspirators really had the time or energy to have a quick look at Aurora's Latest Potential Fiasco. Alas! I ended up publishing it anyway, of course, because I was already way behind my promised deadline and because I'm a blithering idiot. I'd been struggling with some parts of this chapter for so long that I really just couldn't wait to release it into the wild, allowing me to finally start working on one of the many other half-baked projects I have lined up.
But wouldn't you know it: this also happened to be the one time where -- judging by some of the more vitriolic comments, at least -- I actually succeeded at writing the worst thing ever!
Uh... Go me? 
But seriously, yeah, this latest update received some pretty harsh criticism -- some of it, I think, needlessly so.
(If it was, in fact, the goal of some of you to make me feel terrible about myself and my writing, or to make me seriously consider just giving up and sticking to editing for others only, then... Well, congratulations guys, you did a stellar job. )
But these surprising outbursts of anger and disappointment did make me think; they made me realize I must've really screwed up this time. And it didn't take me long to see why. Especially not after reading some of the more considerate, constructive and insightful comments that followed, and after conferring with a dear friend of mine.
You were all completely right, of course. I fucked up.
I didn't take obvious reader expectations into account, and I failed to provide accurate trigger warnings up front to prevent people from perhaps becoming invested in a slowly-updating, multi-chapter story that might eventually come to include content they would not enjoy. But really, the worst thing I did was to rush this chapter out too quickly, making the stupid mistake -- out of frustration at being unable to come up with sufficiently erotic scenarios for these two to engage in -- of writing in a sex scene which, while fairly hot, was in complete dissonance with the emotional backdrop, and really just had no place in the story. It was all pretty glaringly obvious in retrospect, but I'd somehow lost sight of the big picture due to writer's block. I hadn't even originally planned to put it in there, it just... It was easier for me to write, given my own sexual preferences.
I'm sorry.
So... I unpublished the chapter for now, given that I'm unhappy with it, too. I'm going to try and fix it -- if I can. Probably with the help of other, more talented individuals.
Because I actually care about this bloody story. Because I poured a not-insignificant, deeply personal part of myself into it.
And because... *blinks slowly* I-I love you guys... You, you know that, right? *hiccup* 
We love you too, Aurora. It's okay. We'll fix it all up.
Huh. Wasn't really expecting that. I agree with some of the negative comments made about it, but certainly don't think it was a disaster by any means. A bit off-putting and confusing, but not terrible.
But if you want to make it better, then I'm all for that. You mean I get to read the same clop story twice, and it's different each time?
Good luck.
While I do think you can improve upon this piece; I can fairly say it is far better than many others I have read from other authors. Your stories have been among the very best erotica submitted on this site, and I think you are the best author for erotica here. Good characterization, pacing and an eye for detail have been your hallmarks thus far.
Aurora, you have shown good character in your willingness to go back and improve upon a piece you believe to be lacking. And I (and most likely others) have every confidence that you will do a outstanding job.
Cheers, a fan.
No time to give a big reply right now, be back later. But I wanna say, I do have some things to say when I get more time.
Oops. High up on the list of lessons that should not be learned the hard way, the surprise penis does not work. You gotta warm someone up to the idea before you pull one of those out.
I don't know how much of the rest of it will survive the rewrite (I shall be secretly pleased that I get to read it twice), but I wanted to say that I love the way you handle your characters' fantasies. Fanservice was already my go to example for how to do a story about role play. This one was a little rougher in the reveal, but I still love the idea.
Yeah, that feeling isn't unknown to me, I just bite the bullet and hit the publish button usually.
Also, screw the nit pickers. Seriously, a lot of the so called criticism on this site is just people whining about something they don't like. It's your story, not theirs, they can deal with it.
EDIT: Forgot to type this out: However, real critiquing should be given its due consideration. Just be sure to mind when it's clearly someone whining.
And finally; If you stop writing I will find you and tickle you until you turn purple!
oh hell, i'm sorry, now i feel bad. Look it wasn't meant to be personal, I just........it felt like a betrayal to me, such a disappointing 180 turn from what had been such a lovely rare treasure, it really upset me and I couldnt tell whether it was somehow intentional. It's probably mostly my fault, I get sensitive about things.....try to understand tho, what its like to be a female brony who loves clop, who finds these characters attractive as much as any male brony does, to browse through Fimfiction every day and see one Human in Equestria story after another, half a dozen each day at least, and every single time the human in the story is a guy. I mean I know most bronies are guys so it's not surprising but even then it seems like there should be more stories for us than there are. Then one day, I find a HiE story of a female human, which is already something that almost never happens, AND it's written super well, AND it captures the character beautifully, AND it's emotionally involving! Each day i check the story and eventually, i see it's been updated and completed, and I go in, and.....all of a sudden the focus is on males, totally out the blue. And even worse, there's no actual male there, it's still just the two girls, so it's like...like it's saying that even when girls are together, emotionally connected as well as you made them, they still just want a guy. Its just me being too sensitive probably, I've just had to hear a lot of times in my life from stupid, ignorant people (of BOTH genders) that lesbians like me aren't for real and secretly want guys but just can't get them. The story just suddenly felt like it was something like those people would say.
I'm sorry, I obverreacted and I should have expressed myself better then I did. I stand by the idea that this was the wrong direction , was disappointing, and ruined something that was great and beautiful and rare, but I should have said it less meanly. I didn't mean to make u doubt yourself as a writer altogether. Your being very decent and owning up to it instead of getting spiteful and close-minded like a lot of inferior authors would do in response to criticism, and I appreciate it a lot that you want to rewrite it to be better. You've handled being upset better than I did, thats for sure. Thank you for caring about our opinions and i do want to see the rewrite when its done, and i hope you can accept my apology.
OKAY. SO. Here we go.
I think, based on what I read in the comments, before posting my own, that the biggest criticism was over Octavia's fantasy about a stallion, thus revealing her as bisexual (which was tagged btw, so it shouldn't have been THAT big of a surprise.) and some people didn't like the sudden intrusion of wang (even imagined wang) into their lesbian pony porn. And that's fine, everyone has different tastes, and likes, and dislikes. But that doesn't necessarily indicate a flaw in the storytelling, just that several people got turned off and didn't like it so much.
Personally, I don't think the chapter really needs a re-write, or revisions. It was good, it provided a conclusion to the story, I personally rather liked the twist at the end of it being an imaginary fantasy (and there had been some subtle hints already that things were a bit....off, about the situation.) and generally was everything a good chapter and ending should be. The fact that Octy is bi isn't really an issue I think. Some people didn't like it, but that doesn't mean the chapter was bad, or a failure. And in the end, it should be the story YOU wanted to tell, not the story everyone else thinks you should have told. Write for yourself first, and everyone else second.
HA! Downvote on mah comment.
I wonder who it was?
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It's a real mark of Aurora's skill, I think, that we get so attached to how she portrays these characters, isn't it?
Hey, I still love ya Aurora! Don't get down on yourself, you've written some of the best erotic fiction that I have ever read, and you're one of the nicest authors I've ever found out there. I understand what it's like to get really down about your own writing, but you should know that your writing has been something that I aspire to. So don't let a few criticisms get you down, and for what it's worth, if you can't find any of your regular crew, I'd be happy to assist any time you need it.
Love ya, and keep on being totally awesome
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Apology accepted, of course.
Secret pegasister handshake (and hug)?
Seriously though: I'm really sorry you felt that way... I can ensure you the story wasn't meant to convey anything of the sort. That particular scene was merely a reflection of my own (bi)sexuality and, as said, was put in purely because, as a clop author in doubt, it's always easier to write about the things that turn you on the most.
Which, in my case, uh, often happen to include dangly bits.
I completely failed to realize what this story actually meant to some of my readers, though, and so ended up inadvertently offending a few of the very people who seemed most fond of it.
I didn't take the scarcity of stories in this particular genre into account enough, and didn't adequately consider how it might be interpreted by those coming from a different perspective or another spot on the sexual spectrum -- by those who already felt marginalized and misunderstood.
(It is, sadly, quite easy to lose track of this when writing clop; you're generally trying to balance a lot of factors and have to write for a pretty diverse audience, with only yourself as a reference point.)
But yeah, long story short, I decided to head back to the drawing board -- not just because of the above reasons, but also because, as a friend of mine pointed out, it made no sense for the two of them to engage in a fantasy about that particular stallion within the emotional context of the scene, given how the memory was associated with Vinyl, and the very thing that drove her and Octavia apart. I should never have included it for that reason alone.
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(Hug) Thank you for accepting my apology, I understand were you were coming from now and I'm sorry again for blowing up and being a bitch about it.
Lol, on the bright side, like Blue Paladin says, it at least says something impressive about ur writing when some clop fic about a non-speaking background pony can be such a big deal to all of us, right? Please don't doubt yourself as a writer again, your shlick-fic has evoked a greater emotional attachment and response then most 6 star stories do!
I love these new well explained and thought out comments. And I understand why you feel a rewrite is neccesary. Consider tacking that chapter as a deleted scene in the end at completion if it's not too painful for you, it was still very well written even if thought out of place.
But where's my ten chapter long epic drama/romance, huh? I see you didn't touch that concern at all... rabble rabble. Joking, I realize that you don't find that at all intresting from your comments. Le sigh, I repeat you are a tease.
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Trust me, I find the fact that you actually care enough to get upset to begin with very flattering indeed. I'll try to be more mindful of this in the future.
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A deleted scene... That's actually a good idea; I might do that! Thank you!
As for a ten-chapter romance
novelstory featuring these two, uh, yeah, I'd best not even try. It'd take about ten years for me to complete, for starters.1288459
Love you too, Dashie. <3 Thank you so much for being so supportive, not to mention awesome. I might take you up on that offer whenever I'm next having a crisis (ie. probably somewhere within the next five minutes), so I hope you know what you've gotten yourself into!
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Anytime (\(^-^)/) *hugs*
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You're totally right about that distinction between complaining and critique. That is actually one of the first thing I had to learn as an author -- right after 'Ignore sporadic downvotes that aren't accompanied by a comment explaining why.'
Also, you appear to be laboring under the assumption that I would find being tickled in such a fashion... disagreeable. Curious, that.
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I am honored you'd consider yourself a fan.
I'm not the best, though; not by a long shot. But I'm okay... ish?
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I'll get the feathers!!