This goes out to my 10 followers · 1:12pm Mar 20th, 2015
And please comment on this. I don't ask for much, and answering the following question requires nothing more than reading the first page of my first chapter of Zero Hour (the GDocs).
And here is the question that has been niggling me: Should I rewrite it?
I know it starts with a fifteen line info dump. And many of the following paragraphs can be broken up for more legibility. But, and here is the problem, I wrote those chunky paragraphs for a reason. And I guess I'll put this as spoilers: If you notice at the very end of that first page, it ends on an interjection; fuck. This is meant to fool readers into thinking that it is Booster speaking after having lept from a window, but it is discovered on the first line of the next page that this is not the case. Booster goes: Oi, Nelly. Wait what?
And that is what I am after; those last two words are exactly what I want going through my readers minds the very same time it is going through Booster's. I want you both in the same frame of mind if not exactly relating to him. And there are other instances of this technique, or gimmick, throughout my story; but they are most desired in my first chapter, especially that first and second page. And unless I add exactly a page before every instance of utilized page-breaks, I will lose this effect.
But this is all null and void unless you read the GDocs version of the chapter, which-- as far as I know-- nobody does. Do you? Does anyone? Is it really worth the effort and walls of text for an effect no reader sees? And if you happen to have seen it, is it even that effective?
The second problem is that I am a better writer than I was nearly a year ago; when I first published. And every time I look at my first chapter I see something I see something I want to change. And I am sure I could write it better.
The problem is: It's a trap.
The second I'm done, I'll want to rewrite my second chapter; then my third, and so on. I am already far behind schedule. And it wouldn't be fair to my readers if I happen to retcon something, which I couldn't guarantee I would or not. But if I were to rewrite it, the sooner the better; for the sake of any new readers. Or will I just want to rewrite it again next year?
If you can, please provide me with feedback. I would appreciate it immensely. Don't ignore me! >:(
In my opinion, you should indeed rewrite your first chapter and maybe more by focusing on the three following points:
- Understanding of the main character. The first chapters leaves holes and blanks on who his speaking because the narration and the PoV seems to change and is uneven, which blocks the reader from getting in the story.
- Work on characterization. The characters are somehow a bit blank at first and don't offer a reading hoof that will drive the readers to go further.
- Outlining a main goal. Your characters wander around, they need an objective outlined in the first chapter that would drive the narration further and give the readers a reason to read.