Luna Reviews FIM S3: 01. The Crystal Empire, Part 1 · 2:41am Dec 9th, 2014
An intriguing start for the new series.
For those who are uninformed, the Crystal Empire constitutes one of the great unsolved Equestrian mysteries. And it is still unsolved, because in real life, it never came back.
Therefore, by sending Twilight and her friends further than they’ve ever gone before, to the literal edge of the known world, Friendship Is Magic embarks on a perilous journey. No longer will episodes be tethered to the actual life experiences of the protagonists, and instead, virtually anything can happen. Will Twilight succeed in protecting the Crystal Empire, or will this act as the first major setback in her career? Now normally, I would not hesitate to bet on the happy ending, but for the choice of antagonist. The real life Sombra the Depraved was one of the most evil mortal beings to ever set hoof on Equestrian soil. Bringing him back is a sign that this series could potentially go anywhere. I’m extremely interested, and a little wary, at how the second part will expand on Sombra’s character.
I believe I heard rumors at one point of an overall arc to Season 3. I can only hope that this is the case, and that the character of Princess Luna has some part in it...personal bias, of course.
That’s all that I have to say for now—I hope to have a more detailed review after the second part is uploaded tomorrow.
[OK, Hope. Go ahead and post everything.]
Notes
00:03: Canterlot. So we are switching the pony POV for the series! Now who shall the new main character be? Fancy Pants? Raven? Philomena? Nah, nopony could make anything watchable out of Philomena’s antics.
00:07: Ah, Raven! An excellent choice for new main character—I always suspected she was a mare of adventure when not working for my sister.
00:19: “It has returned?” What is the guard referring to, “it”? The north of Equestria is ice, and waste and rocks. It’s a nasty place, and the polar bears can have it.
00:24: Princess Cadance? Wait. No...they couldn’t have, could they?
00:30: This didn’t happen. This didn’t happen! If Twilight were summoned to Canterlot for vague business in the north, I would have been informed! Maybe she turned the summons down. Yes, the Twilight reference is there for all the fans expecting the show to be about her, but it will be the loyal secretary Raven who will be sent to the North instead!
00:33: Credits. Starring Twilight Sparkle. I’m going to have to actually sit and watch this thing to figure out what’s going on, right? I never bothered to pay much attention to it before. I suppose I’ll be nice this time, and say nothing about the demeaning theme song in the final version of my essay.
00:42: Hmm...lots of Ponyville ponies, yes. I wonder—are they all based on actual ponies, or are some of them composites? For example, does that one elderly stallion in the train represent every elderly stallion in Ponyville? I shall have to keep my attention vigilant to look for elderly stallions!
00:59: Oh look, it’s Sister on her throne.
01:02: They...they just sent a picture of themselves to Princess Celestia, and nothing else. I’m pretty sure that’s an abuse of dragon sending privileges.
01:06: And look, they still credit Twilight’s biography.
01:14: Ooh. Twilight is not going to like having one of her panic attacks shown like that.
01:21: The episode title is “The Crystal Empire, Part 1”. That’s...that’s brilliant! The writers ran out of real life events to show, so they’re turning to fiction! This is going to be a mystery, isn’t it, about what happened to the Crystal Empire so long ago? Twilight never investigated that mystery in real life, but now we get to see a possible explanation of what happened. I can’t wait to see what happens next!
01:32: That...is a very big book.
01:50: Did Spike just say the words “it’s just a test” to Twilight Sparkle? Even I know better than to do that!
02:20: Yup, definitely fiction, otherwise I’m pretty sure I’d remember being in Canterlot, talking to my sister about the Crystal Empire.
02:30: Thank you, Ms. Screenwriter, for giving me some good lines. I wonder what I’ll say next?
02:39: Hmm…
03:03: “The Crystal Empire has returned.” Wow. Skip the mystery, they actually brought the Empire back. This ought to be good.
03:25: The Crystal crystal doesn’t look like that.
03:43: Sombra? You’re actually going to bring Sombra into this? How are you going to pretend this is a children’s program, with Sombra in there? I thought they were going to dance around the issue, call him a “curse” or something—that’s what I call him, anyway.
03:48: Ooh, pretty smiting! Err...don’t mention that in the review.
(Hope: Does that mean you want this comment removed? I think we can all agree it was some very pretty smiting.)
04:23: They’re actually showing dark magic in this show.
05:02: Hee-hee, I’m lurking in the shadows. I love lurking in the shadows. It’s like this show knows me!
(Hope: I would humbly put forth that it is good storytelling to have a princess of the night be fascinated with shadows. Maybe they are just going by your mentions in previous work?)
05:07: Wait, I’m the next level of Twilight’s studies? Is she going to become my student in this fictional third season? That would be amazing!
05:23: Smite! Smite! Smite! Smite!
05:32: Aww, no smiting.
(Hope: We are all pleased with the lack of smiting, I think. It would make for an extraordinarily short show.)
05:52: A musical number about not being smited? I do believe I heard Captain Shining Armor singing a song on that subject once after miraculously surviving one of Tia’s tongue lashings.
06:47: Is it me, or has the animation gotten better since “A Royal Wedding”?
07:07: Spike...practicing ballet. That’s two individuals who won’t be pleased at what their animated renditions have done in this episode.
(Hope: Who knows, maybe he likes ballet!)
07:51: Question: If the Crystal Empire just reappeared, how are they getting there? It’s not like somepony would have built a spur line all the way up to the middle of nowhere and maintained it for a millennium, just in case…
07:55: Oh come on!
08:06: You know, this is one of the situations when clothing on ponies is expected. Somepony...wasn’t prepared. Heh, looks like I’m ready to fail Twilight already.
(Hope: In defense of the fictional Twilight, I haven’t seen any other cold regions in the show so far, how common are permanent weather zones anyway?)
08:37: “The Empire isn’t the only thing that’s returned.” Sombra smiting time?
09:07: …
09:25: Smite him! Smite him!
(Hope: We all wish, your highness.)
09:53: And Shining Armor’s now out of the picture, magic wise.
10:35: Aw...Cadance! What happened?
12:30: Smite him!
13:31: Ah, Pinkie Pie. Don’t ever change. And visit sometime, OK?
14:27: Waaah! Pinkie Pie! Don’t ever do that again!
14:35: Fluttershy discovering her own skin on the ground: That is so cruel...and hilarious.
(Hope: I think everyone laughed and then felt bad for laughing.)
14:54: I suppose I should mention at this point that the Crystal Empire architecture is all wrong. Not surprising, since the memories of Tia and myself are all that’s left to know what it actually looked like. There was that one stained glass panel in the palace that we commissioned afterwards, but you can only include so much architecture in a panel. I’m guessing that what I’m seeing was extrapolated from that.
15:38: I’m wondering if any viewers at this point are thinking that the crystal ponies forgetting their history is a lame plot device. As a matter of fact, memory manipulation was a major part of how Sombra was able to consolidate and hold his power. I forever regret the day I taught him that spell…
(Hope: The teacher is not responsible for the use of their lesson, Princess.)
17:04: Two musical numbers, in the same episode. Somepony must have been in a particularly creative mood…
18:58: Twilight, you...you made a crystal heart? A fake crystal heart? Fail...just, fail.
20:53: See! Crystal Heart! I told you!
21:32: Sombra! To be continued? Nooo...
Questions for Hope
1. In the series, how many elderly stallions are in Ponyville? I need an indexed list of all appearances by episode, within the hour.
Hope: I am not sure if I am capable of doing that. I could give you a list of all appearing “Background ponies” though, would that be acceptable, your highness?
Luna: No, it’s too late now. I just assumed that the Internet had that sort of information readily available.
2. In the series, have the Bearers ever ventured outside of Ponyville or Canterlot?
Hope: They have gone to the castle in the Everfree forest, they have gone to the mountain near ponyville, Appleloosa, Dodge Junction, and those are the ones I can remember at the moment.
3. Is this the first time that Spike has been allowed to come along onto an adventure? I remember hearing from a brony that they always leave him behind, and he didn’t exactly do that much in the “Royal Wedding” episode. (Yes, yes, in reality he was in charge of greeting the human dignitaries, and stood beside the Last Guard at the Portal, but none of that ended up in the episode.)
Hope: Spike’s adventures have largely been anecdotal, or nonexistent in the series. Largely they attribute this to him being a “baby” dragon, but it seems to be a running gag.
4. Is Rarity out of character in this episode? I don’t remember her being quite so...manic. And I don’t mean in real life—I believe you only met her that one time, so it would be unfair to force a value judgment on you based on only a single meeting. I mean in the series.
Hope: She only seems a bit out of character, mostly in regards to the vanity she displayed while describing herself to the crystal ponies. The rest of her excitement and dramatic flair seems consistent.
Luna: Alright, I won’t comment on it then.
5. What’s the rating of this series again? I cannot conceive of any way for an episode that includes that...fiend, to not drift into some incredibly disturbing territory. Oh gods, and they brought the hatchling, didn’t they? I’m almost afraid to watch tomorrow’s episode.
Hope: It is a childrens’ show, and they do a very good job of walking the line. Showing adult morals and lessons without throwing in the shock value blood and gore many other shows resort to. It is true that they are approaching a nasty historical figure, but most likely they will avoid his gruesome past.
Luna: I’ll probably have a lot more questions after the second part has aired.
Luna: Hmm. Well, Hope, it appears that when I said to post everything, you took me literally. Now, I have been told of how humanity praises openness, so I say...let them see my notes, if they don’t think them too boring. I have nothing to hide. Just...readers, remember that the essay at the top is the last thing I write. If you insist on reading the whole thing, start with the “Notes” heading, and if you’re not interested in my ramblings, simply end at that same header instead.
I quite enjoyed the notes. Personally, I feel that a lot of entertainment would be improved by more smiting.
Also, it's actually called the Crystal crystal? Wow.
Loving the notes Your Royal Highness, hope to read more of them!
2641609 Sorry, when acting as editor, I tend to be a bit literal.
Your Royal Highness...
I saw the episode and I shall not want to spoil anything more, however as a amateur historian, Of a passion that if I was a pony, it might be something history related. I, okay I will reign in my eagerness at rapid fire question to your self. Just, I am curious upon the history of Sombra. The real Sombra.
I almost want to say that it might be like if I watched a foal's play about Hitler in an Equestrian playhouse, *Shutters* Or Saturday Serial.
I am trying to find a frame of reference to see and understand a little of how what might it be like for you to see these two episodes.
I hope I do not anger you with my question, I am just curious and as you might have seen with Humans, we poke at things long before we understand it.
2641877
Luna: Yes, I know about the stick-pokingness. (Stick...poke...that's a real word in Equestrian, so why won't Mr. Spell Check accept it?)
So, Sombra...what shall I say? I know, I'll use a spoiler tag, and that way I can't be held legally liable for anybody losing their lunch...
Sombra was a scientist...in the worst sense of the world. "Exactly how much pressure would it take for a pony eyeball to explode? And what would the difference be if the pony was on the verge of suffocation? Or if I used a rusty knife instead of this needle? And ooh! I've got a beetle that I've bred to consume and hyper-activate pain nerves while leaving the victim still alive--let's try that!" That kind of scientist. He made vast advances in fields that no sane being was ever meant to know.
So rather similar to your Nazis in that respect.
P.S. You do not want to know how I know that all the things in the spoiler actually happened.
2641980 Do beings of the Alicorn species in fact have healing factors to rival that of The Wolverine of the X-Men?
If so... I'm sorry you had to go through that. Couldn't have been fun.
If not, I probably REALLY don't want to know... Would probably ruin my idea of your character...
2641980
Oh my...
Your Royal Highness thank you for giving me a tiny insight into this past. Yes I would agree that Sombra does sound like the Nazi higher echelons during the thirties and forties. I hope he never returns, and he cannot return. I also hope that you survive the reviewing of the coming episodes. I am sorry that the Crystal Empire has remained, finding lost civilizations and artifacts is a little bit of a Human compulsion, ask Hope about Indiana Jones, or the legends of Atlantis. Heck, the ruins of South America are prime examples of finding lost civilizations and mysteries.
Humanity have tones of mysteries. Which leads to another question, how have your subjects back in Equis handled the fact they have a first hoof accounting of events that happened over a thousand years ago?
Also, I must say I have learned a new Equis to English translation quirk. Stick-Pokingness. Great now I wish their was a way to allow humans to learn Equis, though I doubt any human could master the language, you have I presume tail flick, ear movements, and noises that Humans could not made normally. Now I am wondering what you think of English, and French as I recall hearing you speak that in the news broadcasts after they got posted onto Youtube.
I'll admit, I laughed. Well done, McPoodle.
2642285 Hello! This is Hope, I'm going to let Narcie talk about "history"
Narcie: Hey, so you had asked about us ponies having first hoof accounts of our history, but remember that Celestia has been around, writing history books and making speeches for a very long time. The key things that Luna's return have given us are a differing view on the reign of the Nightmare, as well as more impartial accounts of Celestia's history. When we come down to things like Sombra, anypony taking basic history classes at CSGU has to read extensively on his crimes, as well as Discord, and Luna. Though Luna's portrayal is neutral to the point of being boring. I think Celestia didn't want to feed any more into the Nightmare Moon mythos.
2642873
Thank you Hope. Wait, may I ask who Narcie is? I am having a problem remembering if she has been mentioned in past blogs.
First of all, my apologies for that slip of the tongue. If you excuse me while I wash the egg off my face I shall be with you in a moment. (I sure hope that joke translate across dimensions)
Well, I must say that it must have been interesting having a different view point on what appears to be a key point in the development of Equestrian history. Then again the loss of even half of a ruling power structure is significant, at least looking at it from a human view point. Even though I try to see from the lens of others, I only have my own lens of perception to view the world with.
Once more I apologies for my gaff.
Well, neutral to one could be fascinating to others. I have learned from others around myself. Because sometimes neutral allows a person to form their own opinion if nothing else.
I would like to also say thank you for taking time to respond, as if you are still in college. I am assuming nothing once more, just based on the CSGU comment It could be a valid guess. Finals could be close, I do know that here in the United States that finals for many college courses are near and so time is precious and limited. SO thank you for the time to respond.
2642924 While I am human, Narcissus Blossom is my dimension traveling unicorn girlfriend.
Narcie: Yeah, if you want to put it that way. I sort of tagged along and got used to you. I went to CSGU, but ended up switching to a cheaper collage to finish my degree in practical written language studies.
2643013
Ah, thank you Hope, once more thank you for the information, I do recall now that tidbit being mentioned I believe in a bio section a while back on McPoodle's blogs. I figured Hope (You) Was human, I doubt I was speaking with Hope (From the story) That would be freaky, although... What is your feelings of having a character share your name?
Practical Written Language studies? Like Computer language and codes? Sounds like my own college experience. Went with the goal to be a history professor, transferred to cheaper college as well, and going for Business Admin and Accounting. Interesting right there, different dimensions and yet similar life stories. Freaky. So what is Written Language Studies? Wait, is it akin to comparing here on Earth English to Ukrainian? or Japanese?
Still, wait, >< I just figured out what CSGU stands for. Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns... did you go before or after Twilight was enrolled? Dumb questions, but I know friends who get asked those kind of questions due to where they live... I hope I did not touch any sore topics with that question.
Thank you for your time to answer my questions.
OOC
To be honest I never expected to have a reply to my comment, thank you for this.
2643052 Narcie: I don't offend easily, unless you go after our culture. Twilight Sparkle attended CSGU in the same way that a princess "lives at the castle." She had her own quarters, private classes with the princess, and a small group of friends. I started going a year before she left for Ponyville. My degree is basically a linguistics degree, but with a focus on written word. I do editing, some archaeological research for authors. I worked for A.K. yearling for a week! Lastly, I will let Hope answer.
I choose my name, changing it after my first visit to Equestria, but really it's an honor to share even a pseudonym with one of the princesses.
(OOC: Not a problem! If it garners attention for the story, I'm happy to.)
2642073
Luna: Sorry, details of alicorn strengths and weaknesses definitely fall into the "state secret" category.
2642285
Luna: First hoof accounting...well, a historian would consider that to be the same as any other source of information about the past, comparable to a detailed autobiography. After all, even immortal alicorns are prone to bias, especially considering when they are acting rulers. As a matter of fact, pony historians always consult other sources after interviewing us (preferably both of us) in order to work out these biases. It's a fascinating process, as they often discover self-delusions that we were completely unaware of. Oh, and thank you Narcie for your more-contemporary contribution to the conversation.
And you certainly can learn the Equine language--after all, McPoodle's day job is to verbally translate Equine into a variety of human languages. Equine is entirely verbal although, like human languages, body language is a useful tool to discern meaning.
English and French form a very interesting contrast: English grew organically as the English people expanded out to conquer/befriend most every other people on Earth, while the French language has been rigidly constrained for centuries to maintain its purity. As a result, the average Frenchman can read the works of Racine, Molière and Corneille with ease, while the average English reader has significant difficulty with Spenser, Jonson and Shakespeare. Of course if, like me, you see the ability to perfectly comprehend the past while being potentially blinkered to the future as a bad thing, then you'll prefer English to French.
2643112
Ah, well, as long as you do not go after my culture as well. (American) Things should be fine. I can take a little ribbing here and there however. Have to put that down as Humans have many different cultures, it seems more so then Equstrians then again it is based on what I have been exposed to. SO if I am wrong, sorry.
Dang, you appear to have lived a traveled life, seen things I bet that few have been able to or will want to. As for the argeology digs and sights, lucky, that is a place I would love to visit is a dig or site of archeology excavation. Still that must have been fun working with A.K. Yearling. (I have yet to get to the book store to get one of her translated books yet. When I do they are sold out.)
I hope you are enjoying your time on Earth and I am curious what you like about Earth so far. You can ask me a question if you wish, fair is fair.
2643920
Your Royal Highness, I shall try to respond to your wonderful reply. It will have to be brief on my end due to just getting off work.
Well that is great news to learn, I wonder how hard it is to learn now I know it is verbal, been told I have an ear for language. If nothing else, to say hello.
That does make sense with the fact that it is always good to back up the sources, still I am the historian that loves the search at the start of first hand accounts, or first hoof as the case might be, because you get the emotion the passion, the knowledge that the events you are researching happened to real living beings.
As for body language, I can see that say, hello for Equish and body language could very well have different meanings.. That is fascinating to have seen. After all I almost want to say McPoodle is either very easy to read with his body langauge or he drives others nuts with how expressionless he is with Equish. Then their is the tone of voice and inflections as well. Sarcasim is amazing when you think about it.
As for the debate between French and English, I actually see English as a better showing of willing to gather and collect the best of society, We have so many words that are actually rooted in completely different languages, also with how the world has grown, I could say good bye in Japanese and many would understand what I am saying. Though one could say that is because the world is growing closer together due to the leaps and bounds in Technology and Communication.
In a way, you are lucky Princess Luna, you will see where Humanity will be in another couple hundred years. With medical advancements and Technology, you may get to see Humans colonize space around our side of the portal. I wonder how the cultures of the world will look then.
I better end this here before I ramble any further I am sorry to have been all over the spectrum tonight Your Royal Highness.
2643920 Hmm, let's go about this another way do you know of Sombra's "science" first, second, or third -hand?
2643926 Narcie: The food!
Hope: Oh yeah, that was an interesting week.
Narcie: I can't handle sushi, or any meat really, but so far my favorite earth food is Tofu ribs. Like, I don't know why someone had to make tofu taste like meat, but I had to call and apologize to a few Bovine friends after that, because I think I might just nibble on them.
Hope: You will not, stop exaggerating.
Narcie: Fine, fine. Besides the interesting food, I sort of like the bluntness of humans. It's fine to be a crude insensitive jerk here. You'll get flack for it, yeah, but in Equestria you'd be practically thrown out of town for cursing at someone. Here, you just get a few frowns. I tend to "speak my mind" pretty often, so it's nice for the reaction to be exasperation instead of fury.
2644087
That sounds like a fun story and events.
As yes Sushi, personally I enjoy it, but I know others who cannot even stand the smell or thought. Tofu Ribs? Hmm... I will have to look into trying that at some point in the future. Thank you for that nice variation, if you are up for trying other foods, maybe a little Fried Tofu? That is actually a Japanese Dish, not everything fried comes from America I would like to point out.
Ah, well thank you, still their are places where bluntness might not do well, I work at one such place, I would be very crossed if I heard one cursing at my work. I work at a Toy Store, if one is willing to live in some bounds, I can see how you would like that, here, some places cursing is a way of life to get a point across. Also if you want to see bluntness, I have been told to watch Parliament sessions from the UK, they make debate in the United States appear civil. Still, That is a unique viewpoint and one that I guess I have taken for granted. Though what I realize maybe not just the bluntness but the freedom to speak your mind is a big deal, for example in Thailand if you criticized the king, you could be imprisoned? Anyway, Thank you for the conversation and the chit chat as one could say.
I hope you have time for another question. What has been the most surprising thing you have experienced here on Earth so far? If I may be bold to ask another, based on the show, which I wonder how close to reality it really is, for example, is it common just to walk out the door with only fur? (Okay, after rewriting that three times, that is the best way I can word that, I am just curious. As I am still not trusting to based any assumptions from the Friendship is Magic show)
2643997
Luna: I'm the one who received the reports, and I used magical scrying to prove it. And scrying is both more and less in-your-face that in-person observation. So, more "first horn" than "first hand".
2645627 I'd probably call that second-hand (or horn or hoof, take your pick) as you were not an actual participant in the event/s but you did see the event/s with your own eyes/mind.
Quick question on how your race/species's style of magic is used for scrying: Do you usually project the scryed imagery onto a mirror/other-reflective-surface, project it into "thin air", or directly view it in your mind?
Most Planesdreamer Recordings I've seen of the various Planes of the Multiverse make it sound like the default is to use a reflective surface but I have seen both other listed methods among the various records as well.
2645698
Luna: The simplest method is via a reflective surface. In this case, I was viewing areas that were being deliberately blocked from normal sight, so I had to use the "direct projection" route straight into my brain.
Makes it kind of hard to forget.
I don't want to talk about this subject anymore.