Princess Pile Drinking Game · 5:48am Nov 13th, 2014
So I was recently working on a fic for a writeoff called Truth. In it, Princess Celestia, Twilight, Luna, and Cadence are all relaxing and playing a drinking game, but when Princess Celestia gets a bit roundhoofed and says something she shouldn't, the conversation suddenly turns serious.
I decided not to finish the fic for a variety of reasons (the premise had more holes than I thought), but I did get a good bit of the way through the intro before I reconsidered. And so now, for your enjoyment, princesses playing drinking games.
There is a game that ponies play called Circle of Truth, and its rules are very simple. A group of friends sit in a circle and take turns asking eachother questions ranging from the amusing to the embarrassing. Whenever a player answers, the other players have the option of accusing her of lying, and she must then reveal if she was telling the truth. If she was, everyone who accused her of lying has to drink. If she wasn’t, everyone who believed her has to drink. And then the next turn goes.
Each pony race has their own version of the game, varying in the fine details. For instance, the earth pony version of the game is called Cider Talk, and the turn order proceeds clockwise. By contrast, the pegasus version of the game is called Four Winds, and the turn order is determined by who drinks first. The unicorn variant is called Coven, and turn order is determined by horn length, usually measured with a bit of innuendo and giggling. It is that sort of game.
But while details of the rules may be of interest to sociologists and historians, the essential nature of the game is unchanged. It is a way to relax around ponies, to get to know them better, and to come closer to them as friends.
And so, when the recently crowned Princess Twilight Sparkle was invited to play with her three fellow royals, it was all she could do not to squeal with joy.
“Mmm,” Princess Celestia said, at the start of the game’s fourth round. She was sitting comfortably on a bed of pillows next to the fire, occasionally snacking from a bowl of apple slices situated nearby. She’d done particularly poorly in the early rounds, having overestimated Twilight’s innocence, underestimated Cadence’s, and incorrectly assumed that she knew all of Luna’s tells. She didn’t mind losing though, and there was a smile on her face as she searched the room for a target.
“Luna.” Celestia picked her target with a soft word and a faint nudge of her muzzle. “My dear sister.” She smiled. “As a shapeshifter, what is the most embarrassing request to change your form you’ve ever granted?”
Luna kept a good poker face as she pretended to mull the matter over, taking the time to examine the face of her fellow players. All four of them were in one of the royal lounges of Canterlot Palace, seated comfortably in a rough circle. Celestia was next to the fire on a pile of pillows. To her left was Twilight, legs tucked under her upon a broad and soft cushion. Next was Cadence, stretched out on a particularly comfortable looking divan. Last, on Celestia’s right, was Luna. She was sprawled out over a dark purple bean bag, a device she had earlier cheerfully declared a wonder of the modern era.
Luna licked her lips, and reached down with her magic to take another oat from the bowl. With deliberate slowness, she held it between her teeth, and then slowly crunched as she mulled the matter over.
“When I first had occasion to meet Twilight’s parents,” Luna spoke, just that opening enough to prompt a nervous grin on Twilight’s face, “her father requested I turn into an earth pony because, and I quote.” Luna turned her smirking face on Celestia. “‘I already get in enough trouble when Princess Celestia visits. It is not my fault her hips are at eye level.’”
Cadence burst out giggling, almost losing her glass as her concentration on her magic momentarily wavered, Twilight quickly found something in the carpet to stare at, the nervous grin on her face advancing to a deep blush. Luna and Celestia both smiled, but it was clear to everypony involved that they were taking careful stock of each other.
“I fail to see how that’s embarrassing for you,” Celestia said evenly, lifting her chin slightly as she considered her sister.
“You didn’t say it had to be embarrassing for me,” Luna answered, holding Celestia’s gaze. Celestia waited for a few long seconds, her eyes slowly narrowing.
“Lie,” Celestia said.
“Truth!” Cadence rose her voice, giggling again as she lifted her glass. “Don’t be ashamed, Celestia. Those hips of yours have strained many a marriage.”
“Ooooh.” Twilight groaned. “I don’t want it to be true, but with my dad... oh. No. Not even he’s that tactless.” She scrunched up her muzzle, and lifted her face. “Lie.”
Luna grinned. “The Princess of Love doth speak wisely about all matters of romance, including my sister’s hips. Truth!”
Twilight groaned and lifted a hoof to her face, as Celestia’s melodious giggle joined Cadence’s. “Dad.” Slowly she dragged her hoof down her face and the back to the floor. “Kill me now,” she said, in a truly wretched tone.
“Oh, don’t feel bad Twilight,” Cadence said, stretching her wings out as she sought to get comfortable. “You’d be hard pressed to find a stallion in the city who hasn’t checked that out.”
“If you’re quite finished?” Celestia asked, and though her words were a bit pointed, they kept their good humor.
“She has only just begun!” Luna proclaimed energetically, lifting a leg in emphasis. “For if memory serves, you and Twilight must now drink. And when you do, I have a question for our lovely crystal princess.”
Celestia gave a good natured sigh and levitated her glass, directing it Twilight’s way. “Cheers,” she offered. Twilight returned the gesture, and their glasses clinked together. It only took one good sip to empty Celestia’s, though Cadence was quick to refill it.
“Now then,” Luna said, turning a predatory eye on Cadence. “Princess of Love, tell us: Before you married Shining Armor, precisely how many stallions and mares had you been with?”
“Oh my gosh, that is so unfair,” Cadence, rolled her eyes and let her head slump to the pillows. “I’m the princess of romantic love. True love! The deep spiritual bond between two ponies who care about eachother.” She held her forelegs in close to her underside, emphasizing her heart. “Why does everypony assume I’m a whore?”
“Because you’re evading the question,” Celestia replied without missing a beat.
“Indeed. Thine guilt is as plain to see as thy suggestively unshorn fetlocks,” Luna said, her amusement running through her words.
“Celestia! Luna. That’s not fair,” Twilight said, nodding Cadence’s way. “Besides, it’s not true. Cadence is a class act.”
“Thank you, Twilight,” Cadence answered firmly, turning to Celestia and Luna. “Two, if you really want to know that bad.”
“Lie,” Celestia and Luna spoke together at once.
“Truth!” Twilight insisted, looking expectantly at Cadence. Cadence only blushed though, and looked awkwardly at the pillows.
“Um...” she glanced at Twilight, then at the floor. “Well, this is awkward. Sorry, Twilight. You know Shining is my one true love. It’s just a little embarrassing to admit...”
Twilight looked bashful as well, but managed a smile. “It’s okay, Cadence. I take it the real number is higher than two?”
“Well...” Cadence flicked her tail. “It has a two in it.”
Twilight froze, her tail and ears going stock still. After a moment, she managed to ask: “Twelve?”
“Nope.” Cadence shook her head.
“Twenty?” Twilight’s mouth fell open. But Cadance shook her head. “But... in the twenties?”
“Just a hair past—”
“Thirty two!?” Twilight shot to her hooves, as Luna’s howls of laughter echoed through the room. “You slept with thirty two ponies before you married my brother!? But that... that’s like a new pony every month for three years!”
“No! No.” Cadence lifted her hooves. “Not every month. How cold would that be? I want to get to know a pony longer then that. I dated most of the ponies I knew for half a year at least. I was just... well, you know. Dating six ponies at a time.”
Luna’s laughter only grew louder as Twilight’s jaw fell open in horror. “Oh, don’t you judge me,” Cadence snorted, giving a very regal flick of her mane as she munched on another oat. “We’re herd animals. It’s natural. You’re all just really repressed.”
“Oh my... ugh!” Twilight shuddered, and then quickly took her drink. “I can’t believe it. I’m never going to get that image out of my head.”
Hah! :D
oh man I'm dying over here this is too good
"Eh, it's not that good, I don't think I'll submit this, I've still got like seven other entries I can finish in time for the deadline."
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What kind of monster have I created.
Oh my gods, this is the best thing. Are you sure you can't be convinced to write more?
I liked it! Also is that a real game? College was mainly variations of flip cup, king's cup and beer pong for me but then again I didn't hang with a particularly creative crowd.
Not shown: Twilight spending fifteen minutes trying to figure out which version of the game alicorns should use.
You would make a terrible academic! Seriously, who decides against publishing something just because it's wrong?
2591824
I hear some authors will do anything for upvotes.
Hey Jax, I'll promise you two upvotes if you dedicate your soul to writing more of this. Or just writing more.
Ha!
Out of curiosity what was Celestia going to say?
This was a riot
Finished or no, thanks for sharing what you had!
2591941
Twilight: "So, Celestia. Why is it that you call my friends, 'my little ponies?'"
Celestia: "Because they're tiny and I own their peasant butts."
Write this. Write this now before I rip it off and add it to one of my fics.
2591857
Can you please make a short story collection or something and add this so I can fave it? Tormenting me by leaving it as a blog post is just cruel.
This deserves to be finished with a blitzed Celestia leaning against Drunk Twilight, saying, "Twi'gt, I love you like a..."
"Sister?" suggested Twilight, as it was the only word that made it to her mind through the alcoholic haze.
"No. Dif'rnt." The Princess of the Sun (and vodka) waved one bare hoof. "Closer."
"Daughter," said Twilight with a definitive nod that just kept going like some purple bobble head doll.
"No. Clos'r." The Royal Nose descended to nuzzle among dark curls with deep sniffs that slowly turned deeper and deeper until a faint snore began to emerge and the somewhat-heavy-if-not-for-so-much-cake weight of the Sun began to ever so slowly descend onto Twilight's back.
2592667
*exits his meeting, reads comment*
See, this guy. This guy gets it.
*heads to next meeting*
Now I want more. Anyone know some good comedy fics of ponies just playing Truth or Dare to recommend?
2592441
Ask and ye shall receive.
2593365 *Gasp* There really is a Santa Claus!