Opinion Blog; Death · 6:18am Oct 17th, 2014
I was thinking, today, and for many days, about death.
Well we're starting on a sunny note, aren't we?
Seriously though, I started thinking about it a little while ago. Not even just a cursory glance and realization that it'd happen to me and everyone I know one day. I mean really, truly thinking about it. A long time ago I came to believe in reincarnation, for many reasons. And this belief held up to this day. But I thought about what it would be like if I were wrong, I started thinking about what would happen if there is truly nothing to us, and when our body stops working we simply stop existing.
I grew to accept the reality of death a very long time ago, and have never feared or been really truly saddened by it. But when I started wondering what it would be like if there were nothing after our lives, I started thinking about everything and everyone who has died and who will eventually die. How casually and carelessly we treat life in our society.
For the very first time in my life, I was scared of the prospect of dying. I sat and I thought and I imagined what it would be like to just stop existing. We have this idea in our heads that we are somehow superior to other species, but I don't think we're all that better than any other animal. If we all end the same way, what we do in our lives means nothing in terms of setting us apart from other species. If we all just... stop being real when we die, what does it matter whether we were a human, a cat, or even a cockroach.
It was all a very surreal experience. I was not saddened by the idea of no longer existing, but at the same time it scared me half to death. The idea of just disappearing is, I think, a terrifying idea. It's why so many people cling to their beliefs and their religions, I think. It promises them more; it promises them eternity. It tells them that they'll never not be real.
In the end, isn't that what we all want? To be real, to mean something? Religious people follow their religions to get to their eternity of existence, people who believe in a permanent death want to do something with their lives and make a difference to prove that they were real. People like me, who believe in reincarnation, want to be able to, in some form, stick around for eternity. I think, deep down, all of us are afraid of not existing. We all want to either stay real forever, or leave something to prove we were real, at least once.
What would you do with yourself if you were told you were going to die in 24 hours and you'd simply stop existing? You'd go out, you'd do things, you'd experience everything you ever wanted to do with your life. You would try to make yourself, or at least a part of yourself, permanent. You'd want to do something with your life so you would never truly stop existing.
Thinking about what it would be like to stop existing, and to never exist again... it's an eye-opening experience. It's something I think everyone should go through, at least once in their life. Just drop any pre-conceived notions from your religion or your beliefs, and truly ponder what it would mean if you stopped being when you died. Maybe humans would have just a little bit more compassion if everyone thought about things like that from time to time.
I have always thought every life is important. Even before I could truly understand the concept of death, something about killing another living being struck me as wrong. In the end of my pondering, I came to a conclusion.
I no longer hold the belief of reincarnation, because I thought long and hard and decided it just didn't make sense in the long run. But at the same time, I hope, more than anything, that it is real. That I don't just stop existing when I die.
But it's nothing something to be depressed about. When I was thinking, I also realized that, no matter what I did, no matter how hard I thought or how much I sulked about what I now believe to be reality, nothing would change it. Nothing ever will change it. Death will forever be life's final unknown. No living thing can ever truly understand death, I don't think. I don't think we'll ever be able to stop it, either.
Death is scary, and maybe it's permanent and maybe its not. But in the end of it all, we need to appreciate the only thing we are guaranteed; life.
When all's said and done,
when the war is over and won,
who are you?
Are you the broken man,
dwelling on the past and trying to understand?
Or are you the survivor,
he who lives and dies accepting the truths of the world.
Will you live in the shadow of an unknown eternity,
or will you strive to thrive in the shining sun of forever?
When all's said and done,
when the war is over and won,
who are you?
Thank you for your time. If you haven't already, go check out my new story, Imposter. The second chapter will be released tomorrow.
Until next time,
Kodeake out
What's even scarier is the concept of the heat-death of the Universe. Where at some point, billions and billions of years in the future, there'll just be absolutely nothing.
These sorts of things have kept me up more nights than I'd like to admit, hell even back when I was a kid, it was a terrifying concept.
look at this! this is my cousin!
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Audio's a bit quiet, but otherwise, that's awesome. Of all the things I've written, I never thought a blog about death I wrote in a half hour would get a reading. He did a really good job, especially with the poem at the end.