Past Sins Review

Past Sins, by Pen Stroke, is probably one of the best known stories on Fimfiction, and for all the right reasons. The characters are well written, the pacing kept me wanting more, and it all wrapped up nicely. It's not without its flaws though.

Note: This review covers the most recent revision of the story, which was rewritten to fit into Season 2 continuity.

The opening chapter of Past Sins brings the reader to the Everfree Forest, where a shady cult is in the midst of a ritual to resurrect Nightmare Moon. To top it off, they ponynapped Twilight Sparkle to play a part in the proceedings. Before the ritual is finished, Celestia intervenes and rescues her student. However, the partially completed ceremony results in a filly that resembles The Mare in the Moon.

The meat of the first arc is a slice of life story where Twilight balances raising this filly while keeping her true nature hidden from her mentor and the residents of Ponyville. The reasoning behind this is that while Nyx, the name Twilight calls the filly, looks like Nightmare Moon, she doesn't seem to act like her or remember her past. In turn, Twilight is afraid Celestia will overreact and banish the filly to the moon in fear of Nightmare's return. This is plausible. We've seen Twilight overreact when it comes to the Princess before, so this felt natural to me and not out of her character.

As for Nyx herself, she had me worried for awhile. She had all the makings of a Mary Sue character, and she brushed the line more often then I was comfortable with. A Sue by my definition is a character that has more power or ability then would be considered normal and accomplishes tasks with little to no effort or consequence. While the high power level can be explained, due to the fact Nyx is an Alicorn, the accomplishments she achieved while posing as a unicorn filly were too much for my taste. For example, at one point in the story, she transforms a pony into a tree, which is explained in story as an advanced form of magic, especially for a filly. Somehow though, the author made it work.

While I don't want to spoil the second and third arc of the story, I will say they bring up an interesting dilemma and provide a new view on Nightmare Moon's character. Each chapter left me enthralled and wondering what would happen next.

In short, I would recommend this story despite some of its shortcomings. One day I may get around to re-reading it or purchase a printed version. For now though, I need to clear my reading backlog.

If you've been living under a rock, you can find the newest version of the story HERE

You can find more work by the Pen Stroke at his profile page HERE