Apple Surprise: Behind the Scenes + 'Bad' Cheese Fics · 9:37am Jul 13th, 2014
Ok, so now that Apple Surprise has come off the Popular Stories box, I thought I'd delve into it. I've tagged this blog with it, so you can read it if you haven't. But if you haven't, why not?
First off, wow. Just... wow. It's rating and all that shiz pretty much speaks for itself. All those likes and just one dislike? Guh... wow. Wasn't expecting that much. Of course though, it'd only make sense that the second highest followed member would post a story on the same day as I uploaded it. I'm not fully out of the woods yet; there still has to be those moments. Blueshift, RainbowBob, etc etc. Now I just need Pen Stroke and it'll be complete. Not complaining of course, Apple Surprise hit the popular box, and it just grew from there.
Kind of surprised it didn't hit featured though. About two hours after it was approved, it must have had around 17 likes and around 100 views. No dislikes and it was the most popular around the newest stories at the time. I've seen stories with 16 likes and 1 dislike get into that box. The heat must have just had it out for me. Again, not complaining.
But what caught me off a lot was the Twilight's Library addition. I haven't commented on it on the story, or anywhere else, but you should know my mouth fell agape when I saw that comment, as well as the feed. Twilight's Library... Apple Surprise. Sweet!
In fact, my main reaction can be summed up as this:
Seeing it made my day really. It's great to see a fic I made get in there, and it only pushes me to hope that others can get in there too.
However, I can't help shaking the feeling that a lot of it was due to Bad (I'm not going to write out Bad_Seed_72 many times). Yeah, if you've read the description, you'll see that Bad pre-read and edited it. I suppose I can elaborate on this too.
Originally, I was just going to release this like normal. But as I finished it, I stopped. I was browsing the site at the time, and then I remembered that Bad really likes Babs. I also knew she's done quite a bundle of pre-reading and editing in the past, and is an all-around amazing writer. So I figured, why not? I contacted her with my... request, if you will, right out of the blue. Given how much she liked Babs as a character, and what with her editing skills, I gave it a go. If she would have said no, I would have taken it and released this anyway. No harm would have been done. I wouldn't have been eating ice cream.
But obviously, that wasn't the case. She kindly took my request, to which I then e-mailed my fic over to her. She had a busy week, but I wasn't in any rush to release this story. When I got her reply regarding the edits, I checked it out, made the corrections. Took me about 3-4 hours to do, but it was well worth it. With her edits alone, the fic got chopped down by almost 1,000 words. Yeah, this beast was just under 5K originally. I made a few small improvements of my own too, as well as a few tweaks. I couldn't believe how great of a job she had done. It was one of those moments that made me go, "Did I really write that?"
Experience man...
And of course, what you've read is the result. I came up with the entire premise myself, as well as the letter. A number of grammar mistakes were made here and there, and I was doing too much telling in scenes, to summarise. Long story short, the end result looks so much better than what I originally had. And if Bad hadn't helped out, I think this fic would have had a completely different turnabout. Likely would have had more down votes, as well as not get into the popular box, and dare I say, not reach Twilight's Library. I've already thanked Bad... I don't know how many times, I've lost count. I've probably come across as some lowly peasant, but when you work with someone like that, you want to be as nice as you can possibly be, even if you might come across as someone willing to suck someone else's dick. And in the end, I'm glad I contacted her. Telling myself to go for it, I think it paid off in the end. I've got my newest highest rated story, as well as a few followers, while she has my gratitude, as well as a follow that should have been given long ago. I've also kind of prioritised myself to read her Tangled Roots trilogy more hastily, but it's over 400,000 words. My reading.... BLAH! I'll get there... eventually.
But I don't want to just promote Bad in this blog. I mean, I would happily do it, but that isn't the point of this blog. But you should read some of her stuff anyway if you haven't.
So let's get onto the background of this fic in general.
I originally got the idea after re-watching One Bad Apple. Season 4 had finished of course, but it gave me vibes of Pinkie Apple Pie. And then I realised that Babs never appeared after Apple Family Reunion. What did she think of the news regarding the family relations? Does she even know? They never bring Babs up in Season 4, which is a darn shame.
So I took the matter into my own hands. I knew she was in Manehatten, so I wanted to let her receive a letter from Apple Bloom. I wanted her to learn about the possible family connection. So originally, this was just going to be around 2,000 words of "How do I feel about this?"
But then I thought that was a little weak. I wanted to spice it up, and to do that, included the one and only Surprise. Who here can honestly say they were expecting Surprise from first reading the description? And then when you saw the mentioning of Surprise in the fic itself, you turn back to the title and go, "icwutudidthar!" I wanted a Pie, simple enough. But having the mane six or Pinkie going to Manehatten for whatever reason might have seemed... forced. Surprise was a perfect candidate, and since she isn't in the show, I had free reign to do with her what I wanted. Her personality is pretty much almost Pinkie's, but in this, I made her a filly. Now that I haven't seen before. Surprise as a filly? What a move.
But since she was a filly, I had to change her up. She comes off as a little more bubbly than Pinkie. That's probably an understatement of the century. How can anyone be more bubbly than Pinkie? Well, I'd like to believe that Surprise in the story was more excited over the news. She reacted in a more active manner.
But speaking of fillies, or kids, how about that colt? Dirty huh? This guy didn't actually have many changes put into him. From the beginning, he was always him, and he never had a name. I tried to come up with names for an OC, but in the end, I didn't. Mostly because I suck at that thing.
But he works better without one, or even a description. You never read what colour his coat or mane his, what his cutie mark is etc. It's left in the dark to who this colt actually is, which I think is more powerful. Having leaving him without an identity, you can fill in the gaps yourself. I was originally thinking of a cousin to Diamond Tiara, but I think that might have been overplaying the 'cousin' factor. But since this takes place in Manehatten, I obviously took his behaviour as more Manhattenish, or what you could see as rough. Ha ha, screw you America.
The mystery of the colt was inspired a bit by horror films. When the experience can be more creepy, or scary, when you don't see the monster. Obviously, this story wasn't horror, but I think the same could still be said. You get a more rotten feel from this colt without knowing who he is. And I think it works perfectly.
The combination of this pair. Babs and Surprise? I think this should have a spin-off series of them trying to brand Babs with a cutie mark. Or bring them to Ponyville to have the CMCs again, but now with Surprise. A Cutie Mark Crusader with a cutie mark and who wants to take part just because of the family factor and how fun it can be? Now that's interesting, and a take on that would be one too. But I'm too clunked up right now.
In total, the time taken for this fic might be considered two weeks or so. If you had stalked my page, you would have seen this but with no words or anything. It was in development, and a week of it could be considered waiting for Bad to get back to me with the edits. That's not bad at all, as I said I wasn't in a rush. But if you took that time away, this fic seems more like a week and two days or so in development. And I think it's paid off well, considering its place right now.
I still need to improve my own proofing though. The mistakes and that people caught in the comments... how did I miss them? I feel like a dolt missing some of those, but we all do it. It was after Bad's editing skills though, so those proofing mistakes were all my own. I'm grateful for those who spotted the mistakes though.
I've been thinking of submitting this to EQD. After all, why not? It's in Twilight's Library, which I'm still not sure if it would still be there if Bad hadn't edited. There's more to the Library than just good grammar, and even without the edits, the story still had the same heart-warming message. It's quite a story with a message, and edits aside, it might have still made it. Or it might have not. I can't alter the past. Yet, anyway.
And what's the harm in trying? If it gets there, that's just more popularity on it. If it doesn't, then nothing bad will happen. It's worth a shot, and the more I think about it, the more I want to try. I'll sit on it a bit more.
I think though, with how good the editing process went, that I want to improve my own. I'll likely take more time in reading through my own stuff and making changes, improving to the best of my abilities. I might get to a stage where I hire editors for everything, or I might not. It's also telling me to go back through New Toys in Town and polish the entire thing. I can probably cut out a lot of words there, and if edited to a good degree, can become a more enjoyable fic to read. The problem with that of course, is that it'd take a lot of time to do. Like with the EQD, I'll sit on it.
I had a lot of fun writing Apple Surprise. Babs is really an underused character, as well as Surprise. Pairing them both only made things better. It's sort of like TrenderMaud; you wouldn't see it coming, and it's incredibly rare. The two of them worked in the context of the story premise. Surprise works well as a Pie, and Babs works well as an Apple who has kind of 'reformed' after the message of One Bad Apple. Babs' character when used with both Surprise and the colt are quite spot on too. In the end, it all works out.
The more I look at the reception Apple Surprise has gotten, the more I tell myself it was a good idea to message Bad. I keep bringing this up, but she really did a good job. So I'll probably stop with Apple Surprise here. I'm glad if you enjoyed it, and a fic like this only strives me further, especially with the Twilight's Library aspect. Man, that still feels good.
So from here on out...
The 'Bad' Cheese Fics part, so if you didn't want to read this, then stop here.
This is something I wanted to make in a brief blog before. It's not meant to be a rant here, rather a promotion of sorts. For real bad Cheese fics, there's Rage Reviews, so I'm not talking about truly bad ones here. I'm talking about two here that make you go, "Why did I read that?" or "Oh god why?"
I truly enjoy one of these (and still to this day), while the other made me say both of the two things above. This first one is... and brace yourself.
Cheesy by kudzuhaiku
I'm not linking the story because it's tagged Mature and Sex, and it's a clop. So if you don't like Cheese clops, then that's enough to stop right there. I have a hard time reading them myself because of the Weird Al factor, but there's not a huge amount of them.
But this one... oh my... just why? I feel bad for the pre-reader who had to sit and read this in order to approve it. If the characters tags haven't driven you away at first look, then look again. And then once more, until you see it. This isn't badly written in the slightest, but if the character tags haven't done the deed to tell you to back off, then I feel bad for you. It will take a lot of guts to read this.
But this is the thing. It's not bad, it could be considered 'bad' enough to be good, which is the point of this Cheese section. Sorry if I've given you nightmares right now.
But moving on to the other. Now if you don't like murder, such as anything related to Cupcakes, or murder in general, turn away or don't read this part.
Blue Cheese by Palm Palette
This is rated Mature and Gore, so again, turn away if you don't read anything like that.
But really, I have to say, this is so hilarious to read that I shouldn't say that. The premise alone is just, "Wut?" but every time I read it, I break out in laughter. It's just so hilarious to read. Yeah it's murder, but I can't help myself. This is really a 'so bad it's good' type of story.
I'm liking coming off as some kind of monster that is actually enjoying Cheese Sandwich murdering the mane six, but I can't stress enough how goddamn funny this is. And don't even get me started on the cheese puns. I'm cracking up just thinking of it.
I'm not recommending this story in the slightest. But... just...
Wow.
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Now I've been keeping something up too. I've wanted to comment on it, but not making it the sole purpose of a comment on a story. So I'm going to do it here. The other day, I browsed around, and came across the new cover art for The Rock Farmer's Daughters.
Oh dear lord Sketcha, you just make this fic better and better whatever you do. That new cover art is just... SO GOOD! Hnng!
Your other drawings have been great as well from what I've seen, but this... you just made the fic better by tenfold, just because of that new cover art. I didn't hold anything against the older one, but I think this new one kind of blows it out of the park with how amazing it is.
I know there have been comments on it before and all that, but I wanted to hold it for either a new chapter comment or a blog, whichever came first. Well, here it is.
I tried drawing once... I did terrible. This was likely my best ever:
But I've made a few forum sigs...
Eh, I got out of that business years ago.
And TGM, not a word if you're reading. But that is all folks.
...
But seriously, congratulations that's effing awesomeDefinitely think you should send the story over to EQD. It was a fun read, and I'm honored to have it in my favourites.
Reading this was interesting....editors sure do a lot of work! Ha ha, I wonder if having an editor is key to having a good story? Mmhmm you and Bad both did wonderfully. Kudos!
My first EQD fic was a Babs Seed fic. I just went over to look at it and see that I never actually put that on the Long Description. I guess I didn't think to do it or didn't think it was important, or didn't know how.
Elric--how can I put this?--Elric is Mr. Neato McAwesome. He's really good at picking up potentially neglected little fics and giving them a place in the sun. He did this to Swear on Camembert way back in February, when I really didn't quite understand what Twilight's Library was or why it was a big deal that it landed on the Feature page. If he picked out Apple Surprise, then that speaks highly of it.
EQD . . . well, I've had two fics accepted and two rejected, and if you're going to do it, be prepared to take that Editor's Omnibus to bed with you and slavishly hunt through for every conceivable misplaced hyphen or ambiguous modifier, and do not confuse en-dashes with em-dashes--and then be gobsmacked when they accept it or reject it, because sometimes it isn't clear why they accept or reject things. They accepted Sidewalks of Noo Yoke, and it has a bone-crushing Broncs accent in it that I would not dream of using now.
I will say this, and this is based on my personal experience, which isn't extensive and might not mean much: there are a lot of reasons things might be accepted or rejected. The two I had accepted were accepted, I think, partly because no one had ever done one like it before. They are trying to pick things that aren't like everything else they've ever spotlighted, and they're also trying to pick things their readers might like, and the two don't necessarily go together.
They are mostly hard working and well-meaning volunteers who are doing this for low (no) pay and all the acclaim that goes along with being "Pre-Reader XYZ," so be nice to them. It never hurts.
I don't read stuff with the "Mature" tag--or I should say that I DO, but only good stuff. I'd heard about the first you mention. It was one of those ones where I turned off the filter long enough to see what it was about, turned it back on, and hit the back button. The author is into shock value. I got enough of the jist from Yildun.
As for murder fics--meh. Not my thing.