Site Post » Reviews! Round 42 · 12:30am Apr 27th, 2014
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“No, no, no, no!” one screamed. Hooves pounded furiously against the tough oaken door. “They can’t do this to us!” He shook his head in a hopeless effort to regain long-lost sanity. “To me!”
Clearly, they can, said the other.
One turned round, a vicious snarl on his face. “You! Stop that. You can’t talk. You shouldn’t be able to talk.”
That is hardly my fault. Spend enough time around anyone and they are bound to talk sometime.
“Damn it, you know that’s not what I mean.”
Oh yeah. That.
One ceased his pounding and sat down, his eyes flitting between each knot in the wooden floorboards. “They knew I would try to escape. That’s why they paired us up. Can’t you do anything but talk?”
The other drooped a bit on its wooden pedestal. Minor telekinesis. Only enough to lift a quill and fall off of things.
One looked fearfully at the endless stacks of paper that stretched up to the three-meter ceiling. A hole in the center of the roof allowed dust and spare moonlight to filter in, giving the papers an unearthly glow. Too many. There were too many.
“Okay. Okay. I’ve done this before. It’s not hard,” one whispered. “Just reviews. Just reviews.”
Nothing to do but get started.
“Sure. Yeah.” One began to rifle through a promising column.
In fact, I know just what will lift up our spirits! said the other, with the faintest telepathic delight.
One’s pupils dilated. “No...”
Do you like poetry?
One returned to the door, pounding even more furiously, but even the stony echoes of the nine-square-meter room could not drown out the other.
I learned this poetry from space.
ROUND 42
Fluttershy, the timid bearer of the Element of Kindness, is soft spoken, soft hearted, and... well.... Soft.
She's easily frightened, terribly shy, and prone to hiding at the slightest provocation, yet, she lives only yards from a terrifying forest which is home to some of the most dangerous creatures in Equestria.
Her friends don't understand it; they can't reconcile the confusing disparity between her actions and her choice to literally live on the knife's edge of the wild, unforgiving, primal forest.
How can she not only live there, but thrive?
There's a storm coming, and if you're very quiet, you might just find out.
I think, all too often, it’s easy to get stuck in a rut. Favorite genres, favorite characters. Preferences in style and pacing. Certainly, there’s a risk of this occurring in review groups such as this one, due to the volume of stories we’re looking, but it’s a common practice; just about every reader on this website ends up making snap judgments, figuring out if the story is worth their investment.
So initially, a story like And the Leaves puts me on guard. A start that’s a fair bit slower than I’m used to. A bit purple. Only one character (at the beginning) and the environment. I was unsure about this, but there was something, a je ne sais quoi, that piqued my curiosity. So I kept reading. I’m glad I did. This story left quite an impression, and wasn’t anything like the pieces I’m used to reading on this site.
Of course, I’m not allowed to just say je ne sais quoi and call it a day. Gotta put some effort into this I guess~
According to the author notes, there’s quite a deal of subtext and moving parts, and I’ll be the first to admit that I probably didn’t catch half of them. So for those readers out there who love tearing apart a story, you’ll probably get more enjoyment than I did… but all the same, I quite thoroughly enjoyed this! I think what makes this work so much is putting Fluttershy in the protagonist role. The pace is slow, gentle, relaxed. She meanders, enjoying nature, and is enraptured by her thoughts. By simply allowing yourself, as the reader, to relax in turn and simply enjoy the landscape that StormDancer is painting, rather than impatiently awaiting the next plot event, it takes on a bit of a zen-like state.
Of course, it’s not purely Fluttershy by her lonesome. Without getting into spoilers, her walk is interrupted by a… second character, shall we say. The second character doesn’t say any words. They don’t need to. We’ve already been lulled, the stage set by StormDancer, making us the audience ready to listen. And though the second character doesn’t speak, we listen and we understand.
As I said, it’s a different experience. I wouldn’t go nearly so far as to say this story is one-of-a-kind in this regard, but the vast majority of you have not read horsewords in this spirit. I’d recommend that you start now.
This was an interesting find, for sure. To be honest, I have not seen anything even close to this kind of pacing, but due to the content of the story, it fits well. The author does a superb job of fitting his style of narration to the story, and actually throws a lot of subtlety in the mix that a lot of current authors fail to include. Doubtless, I will give the story a few more proper readings when I have the time. The best thing an author do is give his readers something new to discover with each new look.
It is also worth note that this is one of the calmest stories I have read on this site. Due to an effective combination of style, pacing, and thematics, the story kept me relaxed with a calm smile. I may be a sucker for scenery but remember, it is no easy feat to keep an audience focused on setting or surroundings. Despite his work, though, I feel like the tranquility of the piece could certainly lose a few readers straight out. Still, those who find some enjoyment in just sitting down for a calm and interesting read should definitely pick up this story.
Pieces this expressive are pretty rare, at least in my experience. Just like the beast’s song, there is a lot of raw emotion thrown into the piece that is difficult to work out at first, and though I cannot say the execution is perfect in that aspect, it certainly was effective enough to gain my admiration. It is no small feat to fill a short story with passion that feels anything but transitory. Rather than the little emotional sneeze a lot of short stories end up dishing out, this feels somehow raw, refined, and pure all at once. This story has a wonderfully unique feel to it, and all of its literary elements come together to make something beautiful. I am very glad I could read this piece.
Following Twilight Sparkle's explanation of the scientific method, Diamond Tiara asserts that the sonic rainboom is a scientific phenomenon. Scootaloo insists it is magic. The Ponyville schoolhouse is the scene for an unprecedented intellectual dispute.
It's a sonic rainboom. How not scientific could it possibly not be?
Right, let’s get this out of the way. This story is full of fillies (and Twilight) rattling off complex scientific terms that I only assume are valid. The canon sticklers out there are bound to call foul on Scoots’s and DT’s characterization as a result, or might even call this an author soapbox. But this is the same show where vector calculus is taught to elementary fillies (as lampshaded in the story) and where Twilight was working on the mathematics behind time dilation. And, frankly, many of us in the readerbase-slash-fandom are pretty big dorks.
Q.E.D., hush up.
Once you’re suspension of disbelief is tuned up, you’re in for a good time. Firstly, Pineta does a solid enough job at pulling on the thread. They set up physics vs. magic in an interesting debate, with plenty of evidence on both sides, and the “verdict” at the end feels fair and satisfying.
But a mere scientific dissertation would not make an entertaining comedy, so Pineta doesn’t stop there. Aside from a whole slew of scientific terms and theorems. Scoots’s fangirlism, DT’s worst-pony-ism, Twilight’s unhealthy obsession with the scientific method, and of course, comedic misunderstandings, collectively help cement this as the ponies reaching this conclusion, in an amusingly oblique manner. Its silly lightheartedness is juxtaposed with all the science and theorem name-dropping, and it all makes for a fun read.
This was a really cute little story. Of course, that could be said about a lot of stories about our favorite fillies. What sets this particular story apart is its deceptive simplicity. All the little science-y bits make it a really fun read, especially considering it is science from the perspective of children. It is certainly a fun little facet to a simple plot line. Its presentation is a lot like the show’s typical episodes, save for a bit of the author’s own sense of humor.
I am also satisfied with how the characters turned out. Their projections were pretty much spot on. Instead of the plot using the characters – a problem I see a lot, even in the most popular stories – the characters themselves seem to guide the story’s direction. It may sound like a little technicality, but it is surprising how much of a difference it has on the reader’s subconscious, how much more believable the story seems because of that little illusion.
Although the narration is straightforward to the point of being a bit bland at points, the story itself is pretty solid. I laughed at most of the intended points, and those that I did not laugh at were due to a combination of tired eyes and dry humor. “Rainbooms and Rationality” is a simple story of simple laughs and science. What more could we ask for? Solid pacing, solid characterization, and solid humor make for a solid short story.
STORY 3
Rocketmare, by Rust
Looking back, she witnesses the entirety of her world in the window. A single dewdrop of oceans and forests and mountains and storms, just floating there, hushed and still. She squints through an eye, placing her hoof upon the glass. It completely covers the receding planet.
And in that instant, she's alone.
Continuing with the earlier theme of reading experiences outside our comfort zone, I’m generally averse to anything that’s too decidedly modern. Sure, canon has given us Twilight’s science lab or, well, that canon scene which inspired fanon Button Mash, so it’s fair to call the show anachronistic. But it’s always felt a little cheap to me as a reader for the ponies to just immediately get a technological upgrade, launching them right into the far future apropos of nothing. Notable exceptions of course to crossovers, whose primary purpose is to explore this blending of flavors, and to a story which ramps itself up throughout the plot, like a fic we previously reviewed. Point being, when a fic with this title and cover art passed my desk, I was a little skeptic.
My suspension of disbelief only goes so far! Sorry!
And it’s true, upon reading, the story doesn’t really do much to assuage my concerns on that particular front. But I would argue that that’s not the point. Sure, we’ve got an indeterminate time skip from canon, to the point where ponies have built a rocketship on par with the Apollo program, but unlike the last space fic our group reviewed, this story isn’t about space or space travel. Not really. That’s just a vehicle. Pun intentional. I apologize for nothing.
At heart, this is Stella’s story. The space travel is something we readers are familiar with—a convenient symbolism—but the story could well have been told without it, if need be. As usual with the shorter fics, I can only say so much, without spoiling or giving too much away, but the vastness of space serves her a purpose, a specific call to action. It’s bittersweet and touching. And even given my technological reservations, there’s something in the final reveal that just struck me as unequivocally pony, in a very touching way. One of those stories that is a quick little read, but tends to stick with you for a while after reading.
What first caught my eye was the solid description this story shows off. It is not often that I get to sit back, relax, and watch the author express the story, rather than just telling it. The fact that he takes his time developing each little stage of the story actually helps the pacing as well. It certainly does not feel like a mere 1800 words.
However, this would be a pale little review if all I had to talk about was description. What came next was the characterization. I will say there were a few points where it may have felt a little too sappy, but that is probably just my feels filter. It may be difficult to fit complex characters in the span of a couple thousand words, but “Rocketmare” provides us with a satisfying glimpse of the protagonist in her moment of trial, and her reaction is real and powerful. Although dialogue is fairly minimal, the author makes up for it in development through action. It is incredibly refreshing to see an author connect a character’s simple actions to their personage. As far as I have seen, it is a technique that most of the fimfic community seems to ignore, despite the difference it can make in shorter stories like this one.
What I see as most important in a story, though, is the questions it asks, and the answers it gives. What “Rocketmare” asks is just what defines heroism. What can be found in the cosmos that our little dot cannot offer? The way this story presents that question, to me, is worth a thorough read alone.
Although it certainly seems like it could make a much longer piece – perhaps novella or novel – I am actually pretty satisfied that the story ends where it does. It sends a much stronger message than it really would otherwise. There really is a certain charm this piece has when it is taken in passing – a certain emphasis that ephemerality provides.
It may be a lonely ride, but it is certainly a ride worth going on.
Lyra has talked Bon Bon into hosting a baking class.
Twilight, Spike and Pinkie Pie are the students.
Uh oh.
Bon Bon is not amused.
It’s literally a tag on Derpibooru, and for good reason. Sure, this has been largely fanon-driven, but nowadays, pretty much every fic about them has Lyra dating Bon Bon, and for one reason or another, Bon Bon is not amused. Baking is War, Sister is true to form in this regard, but it differs in one key regard, in my mind.
In nearly every fic with LyraBon, whether central or side characters, Lyra nearly always steals the spotlight. She’s the fun one, for readers and writers alike: energetic, gregarious, sometimes the thing about pink monkeys, but nearly always a goof. And this is generally the source of Bon Bon’s not-amusement. She’s the straight mare. Ha ha… shipping humor. Lyra drives Bon Bon up the wall—that is the joke in its entirety. Heck, I’m guilty of doing that myself.
Few stop to give Bon Bon more limelight than Lyra, and fewer still seek to give Bon Bon a non-Lyra explanation for her frumpiness. Einhander does so in this dramedy (which yet again makes me question why it’s still illegal to tag a fic both Sad and Comedy). It does features some genuinely humorful moments, which help to keep the plot moving along, but I probably wouldn’t have recommended this on its humor alone. Really, it’s the sadder moments—not Dash-breaks-her-wings tearjerker, but more of a Santa-isn’t-real soul-hurty moment—that really drove this story home as something more, to me. It solidified the character, taking something tired and overdone like Bon Bon’s lack of amusement, and really turning it into something deserving of a read. And that breath of fresh air is exactly the kind of thing I love to stumble onto.
Baking antics pop up a lot in the show, and there is a clear reason authors love to write more about them: all it takes is a recipe to make a disaster. Even though the baking itself might go bad, it makes a great story. It is a fun idea to play with, and can really bring out the strong and weak points in characters. The original appeal of the piece is waiting for that pandemonium to break out.
Somewhere along the way, though, we get a bit more than just a baking disaster. It really is rare to find meaning behind a comedic premise like this, at least in the world of fanfiction. Even though I am not a particular lover or hater of shipping, it made for a pretty good story, with some good and relatable content supporting it, for the more uppity readers – you know who you are.
The style was a bit quirky at points. Although the piece is nonsensical on purpose, it throws around a few bits that either confuse the reader or feel like a bit of filler. The narration itself is pretty straightforward, with the trademark oversimplicity of fast-paced comedy. Even so, I do feel like the piece could use a bit more expression in the narration, considering there is more going on than just a few laughs. The simplistic style actually makes the characters feel a bit flat at times, even though there seems to be more going on with them than meets the eye.
So, for those of you who like a good bit of comedy, an easy-to-decipher meaning, and a good story to boot, this is a pretty solid read.
See? Was that so bad?
“You’re a monster,” one said, “a demon scraped from the deepest pit of Hell.”
What a strange Hell you must have.
“Shut up. Shut up!”
The other shut up, and the one could hear the faint approach of hoofsteps beyond the door. One’s tail twitched nervously before he shouted, “Hey, we have your damn reviews! Get me out of here!” He turned all about, gathering the few bits of paper that had not yet been torn apart.
Do not forget mine! said the other.
“Right!” One ran to the other’s reserved corner of the room and gathered whatever papers looked important.
A short click wove its way over into one’s ears. “Yes! I have your reviews, see?” he shouted as he rushed out the door.
Yippee! the other said, willing itself forward. Its hideous burlap form teetered for a moment on the edge of its stool, then fell to the floor.
The door slammed shut.
Feel free to visit our group for more information and events, and to offer some recommendations for future rounds. See you all next time!
SPAAAACE
What, four stories? Unheard of! :O
2050681
We've been doing four stories per round for a couple months, now
2050707
I've been missing stories, then. :|
Oh sure, round 42, you were expecting a Hitchhikers joke in the intro, weren't you? The answer to everything? No. No no, buddy. I found the answers, and they go deep. Conspiracy deep.
It's this website. "Horseword fanfiction"? PFFT. This website is being bled like a stuffed pig, and I've got a paper trail to prove it.
derpicdn.net/img/2012/6/18/5757/medium.png
Now, let's talk about the fanfics. Can we talk about the fanfics, please? I've been dying to talk about the fanfics with you all day.
I thought it was just that you couldn't tag Tragedy and Comedy?
2050715
*shamelessly offers a link*
The vogons probably make good horse words too.
Well whaddaya know? First a story I've already read, then story I've already got bookmarked. One of these days I'll call myself the champion of the underdog, you wait and see.
Huh. It's not every day I've already read half of the reviewed stories. Still, Pineta is one of my favorite authors here, because almost all of his stories have the same levels of both scientific sophistication and poniponi. Also, nuclear power plants operated by Pies.
2050725
I admit, I was mildly disappointed that they didn't review an H2G2 crossover. Too obvious, I guess.
Interesting set of stories this round! I'm going to have to throw some of these onto my reading list (as opposed to the Read Later list that never works out that way). In particular, I've got a soft spot for fellow authors who give Bon Bon the spotlight.
Review #42.
...
Heh.
42
Hold on. I just checked the dates on this round's fics, and both Rocketmare and And the Leaves Shall Tell of Its Passing were featured only a week after they were first posted to the site. In the case of Rocketmare, that's one week to the day. Does that mean story age isn't necessarily a significant factor in deciding what fics you'll review anymore, or did Pav and Pleb have that much trouble finding four stories for this round?
2059232 heh