Starving Re edited

I have re uploaded Starving with brand new editing. I hope that you will all take a new look at it and forgive it's past carnation. I hope to have what I will call chapter 1.5 up within a week. It should answer most of the questions about how Twilight wound up where she is. Once again I want to thank you all fore the honor of the featured box for two days. Let's see how this new better edited and flowing chapter will be received!

Foals Errand

Comments

[Pen Expers]

I would call it 'Chapter 1: Director's Cut'

[Foals Errand]

I like that *laughs*

[Pen Expers]

Kay. I have read it. It really is better as a whole.

There were still one thing missing though, in my opinion. Environment description during such a lengthy chase. How it changes and morphs, for example, on the way to the hive/cave. I don't even know if there was a forest or something at some point. Otherwise I'll assume everything took place in the grasslands.
BUT!

Don't worry. I don't know (and don't want to know for now ) what you're planning for the future chapters, but the time to properly describe (briefly, but so that it can provide something for mind to imagine) the surroundings would fit best with Applejack's perspective when she follows CMC. If you want to do that, of course.

And remember, this is just my point of view. You are an awesome writer regardless of it.