The Ponies Answer: Part Five · 10:08pm Jun 11th, 2013
... welcome!
I didn't scare anypony, did I? Just... I'm supposed to greet you today. I hope I did that right. But, um, you can read the answers to some questions now. If you want to.
Dear Rainbow Dash,
I cannot for the life of me write at least a thousand words a day. I have all these ideas, but actually putting them down is a gigantic chore. As a novelist, do you often run into that problem? -Happy Sunshine and Puffy Clouds Part of North Carolina
Nope! Here’s my secret: I went ahead and wrote the first chapter, which was a lot of writing, and now I’m taking a break while I figure out the really important stuff, like what the cover is gonna look like.
I figure it’ll be a really awesome looking pegasus in a Wonderbolt uniform, flying to attack a dragon. They’ll probably use me for a model, because I can’t think of another pony who looks more like Awesome Flash. Sometimes I practice the pose, just to be ready.
But that’s not all I’ve been doing! I also think about what I’ll say in interviews, about how amazing it is for a Wonderbolt to also be a best-selling author, and how I’m totally surprised that it sold more copies than any book ever.
But the most important thing is that I got other ponies to read my manuscript (which is an egghead word for story. You've gotta use egghead words when you’re talking about your manuscript,) so they can give me quotes to put on the cover! Here are the ones I have so far, just from the first chapter:
“Rainbow Dash definitely wrote this.” -- Princess Twilight Sparkle
“The part where Awesome Flash fought twenty dragons, a manticore, and Discord on the way to Wonderbolt try-outs was interesting.” -- Applejack
“It’s very nice, and Rainbow worked very hard on it.” --Fluttershy
“I have never encountered such a piece of literature.” -- Princess Luna
“Princess Sunlestia’s passionate crush on Awesome Flash is an amusing subplot. I can not wait to find out how it turns out.” --Princess Celestia
(I wrote back to Princess Celestia telling her that Awesome is totally noble and would never take advantage of a pony who was in love with her. She’s totally used to it by now. But she’s really nice when she turns the Princess down, and the Princess is happy that she gets to be friends with Awesome.)
So, there’s a lot of work to get done on a book without really having to write it. It’s important to get that stuff taken care of first.
Dear Rainbow Dash,
I've fallen in love with a girl, but there's a problem. It was immediate, as soon as I saw her in my trashcan that night, eating the apple I'd thrown away that morning, I knew. We went on a run together through the woods, her barely keeping pace ahead of me, under brush and thorns. I caught her a fish, and she ate it from my outstretched hand. I love her, and she loves me. The problem is that she's a raccoon, and I'm a man. What should I do?
Oh, and I'm already married.
To a giraffe. -In bed with my wife, but her head is too far away to see what I'm writing
Are you serious?
I mean, you've got a giraffe. They’ve got that whole skinny-and-tall thing going on, that can be cute.
But, um, raccoons don’t talk. So stick with the giraffe.
Dear anypony,
I have always been an introvert to some extent, but recently I have been becoming even more reserved; even around my friends, family, and the person I love. I would like some advice, if any of you have some.- South Dakota
Sometimes a pony or person just wants some time to themselves. There’s nothing wrong with that.
But... it’s important to stay connected to others. Sometimes friends are the ones who can help you see if there’s something wrong. You might not even notice it, and if you don’t talk to your friends you can’t find out how to fix it.
Mostly, though, you have to be a good friend yourself. That means your friends and family need to know that you’re there for them, even if you’d rather be left alone.
Um... if you wanted to, you could make it a point to spend a little time with the ponies you care about every few days, or however often you’re comfortable with, to make sure they know how much you care. If you can’t think of things to say about yourself, you can listen to them and ask them questions. That way they’ll know that you’re there for them, and if you do feel like talking to others, they’ll be there for you, too.
Dear Applejack and Rainbow Dash,
Summer is awesome cos you can do loads of cool stuff! But why is it that the only things I want to do are eat ice cream, nap a lot and sit at my computer? I could go outside, but it's so hot that I feel like melting. How could I be a little bit more active and maybe get some exercise? -Inside, curled around an AC unit.
Summer can be fun, but it can also get really hot. A little sweat just means you’re awesome, but it’s hard to be awesome when sweat is dripping in your eyes and you look like you just took a shower, but you sure don’t smell like you just took a shower. I mean, I pull it off, but other ponies aren’t as lucky.
But don’t worry, there are still cool, cool things to do in the summer!
The summer is great for swimming, so if you live near a lake or river or ocean you should check it out! Even if you don’t live near some water to swim in, there are lots of other fun things to do with water. If you have friends who want to have fun with you, water fights are a blast! (You’d think that rainclouds would mean I’d win every time, but you’ve never seen what Pinkie can do with water balloons.)
Anyway, water cools you off fast. So even if you’re just running or flying, dumping some water on your head now and then, or flying through a sprinkler or waterfall feels great.
Oh yeah, and you should drink it, too. Lots. There’s nothing awesome about passing out.
Dash is right ‘bout water, but I got a few more tips for dealin’ with the heat in the summer.
First, if ya’ can pull yourself outta bed with the sun, even the hottest days are pretty nice. When it’s really roastin’ out, me and Mac do our work in the mornin’ and evenin’, and go find someplace cool mid-day. The summer sun overhead ain’t nothin’ to play with.
That’s another thing that can make a hot day better: shade. A walk or run in the woods, or a game like horseshoes you can set up in a shady place, is gonna be a lot cooler than the same thing right in the sun. And there’s a reason cowponies wear hats. It might seem silly to put more on when it’s hot, but keepin’ the sun off your muzzle is worth it. (Do y’all know how many freckles I’d have if I tried workin’ without my hat?)
And even if it’s hotter than an oven on pie day, you still oughta try to get out sometimes. Those days, it’s good to make it part of doin’ somethin’ you wanna do. I might not wanna go for a run on a day like that, but walkin’ to the Library or Sugarcube Corner don’t really feel like the same thing. So try to find somethin’ fun where you gotta get a little exercise, even if the exercise ain’t your favorite part of it.
Dear Rainbow Dash,
How do you deal with being so awesome all the time? -Staring at the sky
It’s a tough job, but somepony’s gotta do it!
Like, sometimes I wonder, why me? Why am I the pony who’s the fastest flyer, and the coolest friend, and totally amazing looking, too? How is one pony supposed to handle all of this awesome?
But it would be totally unfair to Equestria if I tried to be less awesome! I can’t just give my awesome to other ponies, so it would all go to waste! So I kind of have to be this cool, for other ponies, but that just makes me awesomely generous too. It’s like a trap! Everywhere I turn there are just things that make me more awesome.
I can totally overcome all of that, and be even more awesome. Really, when it comes down to it, that’s what my novel is about: one pony’s struggle with being awesome. It’s really personal and heartfelt and stuff like that.
I think that a better question may be: how do the rest of us deal with Rainbow Dash being so awesome all the time?
It’s a tough job, but somepony’s gotta do it.
Yeah, sometimes I wonder, why me? How is one pony supposed to handle all of that awesome?
But Rainbow Dash is so amazingly generous, offering us all the gift of her awesomeness!
And we’re her friends, so I guess we gotta help her with her struggle with bein’ awesome. She’s got a lot to overcome, and all.
Dear anypony,
What's it like having a world filled with nothing but peace and harmony, minus a few certain evil creatures that just don't wish to accept the virtue of kindness? -Rebel
We... don’t really know. We’ve never lived anywhere else. I guess it’s just normal.
We all have plenty of problems with our lives, with work and family and friends. And bad things sometimes happen, sometimes there are accidents or illnesses. Or sometimes dragons and parasprites and things like that bother us. And there are some ponies who just aren’t very nice. Then, we have a few evil beings around with the power to destroy the world...
So, yeah, pretty normal.
Dear anypony,
Out of all the villains you've faced (Nightmare Moon, Discord, Queen Chrysalis, King Sombra) who was the worst?
It has to be Discord. Making ponies do mean things to their friends is totally unfair.
Discord isn’t that bad...
He’s not now. But he totally took over our minds before!
He made ya’ decide to take a nap.
Instead of helping you guys! Anyway, who do you think was the worst villain?
Nightmare Moon. I mean, everythin’ bein’ crazy is bad, I’ll give ya’ that, but if we didn’t get the sun back things were gonna get a lot worse than crazy, real fast. Food don’t grow so well without sunlight.
Is that really worse than being food? Queen Chrysalis nearly ruined a wedding, which is the height of rudeness, to try to turn all of Canterlot into hors d'oeuvres. And did you see her mane? At least Nightmare Moon had style.
Is anypony else still kind of worried about King Sombra? I mean, I’m not sure I even understand what he was, or how he did that to the Crystal Empire. At least with the others I know a little bit about where they came from, and why they were doing bad things. Sombra is really hard to understand.
He might not be a bad pony...
Do you think anypony is a bad pony, Fluttershy?
Oh, well there’s... um... no.
What about you, Pinkie? Who’s the worst pony we’ve faced?
Parasprites!
Parasprites are worse than Discord, Queen Chrysalis, Nightmare Moon, and King Sombra?
Um, yeah! Discord is our friend now. And besides, did you not notice the chocolate milk rain? And Princess Luna is our friend too, she was just a little upset at the time. And Queen Chrysalis and King Sombra are meanies, but at least they think, and you can trick them, and they aren’t trying to ruin everything in Equestria! Parasprites are just cute little balls of destruction that will eat up all the food and houses and everything fun and they don’t even know they’re doing it! If I hadn’t learned the Parasprite Polka, what would be left of Ponyville today? NOTHING!
Well... okay then. Pinkie has a good point. I guess... maybe parasprites are the scariest thing we’ve faced. When you think about it like that.
That's all for today, everypony! We'll be taking a day off tomorrow, but we should have more answers for you when we get back. And if you have more questions for us, you can submit them here: Ask a Pony!
Parasprites... Truly they are the most terrifying entity in all of Equestria. Twilight, next time you see one, try not to turn it from a fruit eater to a woodchipper again eh?
I'm still reading this set, but oh my goodness, I laughed at Rainbow talking about her book. Perhaps for obvious, self-serving reasons, but still, that really cracked me up.
No, I did not submit that question. I've submitted two: one of which you've answered and the other of which should at least give you a laugh, even if you don't answer it. But in hindsight, I really should have thought to ask about this. The bit about fighting dragons, manticores, and discord in the first chapter was... awesome.
But the Princess Sunlestia bit and the back-and-forth there, now that just gives me plot-bunnies. Not a lot of things do that, these days.
Gotta agree on Rainbow's book part being the best, but I liked the reasoning behind parasprites as the scourge of all evils too. Man, I should really come up with a question for this sometime.
Dash's novel: all of my
It's silly how good these are