A Simple Slice of Life: "Not-So Voiceless" · 10:19am May 17th, 2013
Like other reviews of mine like this, I won’t be critiquing anything about this story. I’d rather you be as enticed as possible to read a simple Slice of Life I think is worth it, and this isn’t really meant to point out flaws. It’s more meant to pull you partially into an experience, and hopefully convince you to go check it out. I may take issue with something about it, and there may be some grammar errors, but they won’t be pointed out here.
With that out of the way, here we go!
Are we ever truly satisfied with ourselves? We have that strive to be better, more perfect, more soul-gripping. We each are a person wanting to express ourselves through any means, either through accomplishments or truancy or other things of the like; we are a well of emotions, and we once we find our outlet to express ourselves, we focus our attention on releasing those emotions, on expressing ourselves.
Rainbow Dash is no exception to this. The Sonic Rainboom is a portrayal of her lust for speed, while sky-swimming is an expression of contentment. Multiple clouds being bucked could either be an energetic attempt to accomplish a goal or anger being taken out on what’s closest to her. There are a large number of ways that Rainbow Dash can express herself through flying, but it can be counted on that whatever she does is expressing herself. It’s not just people like her that can express themselves powerfully; anyone, even the quiet well-behaved people, can be as expressive as she is.
This Slice-of-Life looks at a quiet well-behaved Wonderbolt that finds his way of expressing hisself, his “voice” through the same method Rainbow Dash does. A pony with a different lifestyle and personality than her—and more broadly people with different backgrounds and personalities—can reach lofty goals and be as persistent and determined in their improvement and expression.
Not-So Voiceless, by cloudedguardian
Sometimes it is not the spoken word that allows one to be heard.
This is a 1,687-word story about Wave Chill, a mute pegasus that learns to express hisself through flying.
Quick Note: This story was published before “Wonderbolt Academy” aired.
I don’t recall if Wave Chill is a character that’s actually in the show, but this story mainly focuses on his life growing up, and how he discovers what’s special to him. The prose may come off as too much tell and not enough show, but I believe that for the particular type of story cloudedguardian tried to write—a story in letter format, specifically an acceptance letter for the Wonderbolts—it works. He puts in details that add not necessarily to the aesthetic beauty for the reader, but it does add necessarily to the point-of-view. In short, the story is more information than description, but this choice in weighing more on exposition benefits the point of view that the author chose.
As for the information, for a finding-one’s-calling story, the information is succinct. There are three main sections that comprise this story: the foalhood, the discovery, and the talent. His foalhood comprises about half of the overall story, and it recounts his family life and his years in school. Both his position in his family and his muteness at school ensure that he is not heeded, that he cannot express hisself.
The story of his unfortunate position in his family isn’t told in an overly boo-hoo-pity-me manner. Wave Chill says hisself that
it would be childish, foalish, foolish, to blame them [them being his parents and siblings] for how my fate’s thread decided to weave.
He tells it like it is, that he couldn’t really help with the younger siblings, but he wasn’t a pain in the rear to his elder siblings. His school life is described in a more bitter manner, probably because the foals there had a choice to help him out but instead jeered at him because he was mute. He does go into detail on one mare that had tried to help him, but I’ll talk about that character later.
Wave Chill’s discovery of his way to express hisself is brought on by a blizzard. It’s not caused by some great insight into the nature of the storm, as the true beckoning nature of it is either unknown or unexplained by him; the closest he gets to an explanation is this:
In the calmer moments I could see a dancer cloaked in glittering soft crystals inviting me to dance… In the fiercer ones, a dragon to be tamed.
It’s not caused by an act of defiance, either. It’s actually caused by a simple observation about hisself: his wings have grown from puny to somewhat powerful. This newfound power gives him the strength—physically, not like courage—to test the storm out. It’s simple, not being too in-depth with thoughts or actions that would not seem genuine. He merely pursues something that interests him, and he keeps his good nature with that.
Thus far, his childhood presents how life was bad before he found his voice, and the discovery of his talent is his stepping into the unknown, trying something new to change his life. Then comes the actual part about flying, which is fairly brief—not even 10% of the story. The description of how he expressed hisself happens in this sentence:
Passion and joy would be heard in a fierce and fast dance, my lithe form against the blue would write it for all to hear. Anger was audible and awesome in a ferocious swoop that would dispel clouds into black mist, and sorrow and hope spoken in a heart-rending dive that pulled up to new heights at the end.
The rest of the story relates more to his striving to become better, and gets ready to close the story and address Rainbow Dash directly. Since the childhood encompasses so much, it may be good to ask why the actual flying didn’t encompass more of the story, since that was the focus. The discovery comprises a little over a quarter of the story, and the bulk of it is his foalhood. Perhaps it’s because between him and Rainbow Dash, they already know what flying is like, and Wave Chill wanted to recount his foalhood in order to drive a different point across than “your flying is an expression of yourself.” Perhaps he wanted to drive that he is different from her by a long shot, and yet they both strive to be better because they need to. Perhaps it’s because he wants to get the past off of his chest, so Rainbow Dash can learn that flying is not only special by sacred to some ponies. The ending would suggest that it’s merely to create a contrast between the Wonderbolt and the enthusiast, yet show that they’re alike in the strive to become better flyers. In any case, the description of flying being special to him is short and succinct, and gets his enthusiasm for flying across.
During this part, he mentions an unnamed somepony that he claims to push hisself harder for. I believe she, being the mare from his foalhood (who could be Spitfire, although it’s completely unhinted at), is a significant character in the story. I believe she portrays three important truths to life, even though she doesn’t play a large role in the story:
1. There will always be someone there who will encourage you, even if you feel like you don’t have anyone there for you.
2. Have a reason why you need to strive to do better; otherwise, you’ll accomplish something and then go nowhere.
3. You, ultimately, are the one that must accomplish the task; no matter how many try and help you, it is you that must do it.
Some times, influences can come from those that ignore us, and sometimes it comes from those kind souls that are willing to spend the time to help us.
This story, ultimately, is about how a character finds a voice, and how they want to bestow their wisdom on those that come after them. Wave Chill recounts his childhood without a voice, how he had that one influence that left a big impact on him, how he found his voice, and how he strives to speak louder, clearer, more eloquently and emotionally. He relates all of this to Rainbow Dash, comparing her to hisself in that both have that one pony, that one reason why they continue to push themselves to be better than they are. It’s all conveyed as a letter in induct Rainbow Dash as a Wonderbolt, and it has that personal flair in order to both make a great comparison, and to show a new character’s story as well.
“Not-So Voiceless” simply recounts how a pony found their calling, but it also speaks to passion. Rainbow Dash and Wave Chill symbolize two different personalities, two different walks of life, and that can be expanded to anyone. Everyone eventually has to brave potentially dangerous territory in order to find what really speaks to them, and this story has that, as well as a portrayal of how passion and a strive for bigger, better, more perfect goals can derive from “that one person”. This story drives itself on pure passion and the pursuit of it, and Wave Chill is not so voiceless now that he’s found his.
Note: I am willing and eager to improve in these styles of reviews. If there's something you feel I can be doing better, please don't hesitate to tell me.
Other Reviews Of Simple Slices of Lives:
Garbo802's "Cirrus"
ArcheonZ's "A Moment in the Sunlight"
bookplayer's "Of Cottages and Cloud Homes"
Martian's "Dance"
I just read the story and I can't disagree with any of your points.
Out of curiosity, how come you're saying 'hisself' over himself? I knows it's a stylistic choice, but it confuses me.
1090789 I'm taking a linguistics class right now, and the professor talked quite a bit about the difference between himself and hisself. Gramatically, hisself is correct, since
-If I hurt me, I'm hurting my self
-If you hurt you, you hurt your self
-If she hurts her, she hurts her self
-If we hurt us, we hurt our selves
-If he hurts him, he hurts his self (not him self)
(We also talked about how theirselves is the grammatically accurate form of themselves).
I wanted to try it out and see how people would react to it. And now that this influence has been imparted upon me, I don't know which one I'm going to use in the future!
Anywho, thank you for reading and commenting. I can't disagree with the comment you left on his story.
1091099
It's hard to disagree with 'nothing', hehe.
I mean, really, I hardly, if ever, say anything perceptive.
Huh, I've thought of that. It's interesting, but I don't believe I'll be using it more often.