RANDOM IDEA POST · 9:34pm Apr 29th, 2013
RANDOM IDEA:
Rarity - despairing of ever finding her 'true love' - pesters Twilight until her alicorn friend finally gives in and uses a forbidden spell to summon a creature fit Rarity's 'ideal love.' 'A stallion of poise and passion that knows how to treat me like a Princess. Somepony that will never leave me for another and that wants to be with me forever.'
A human shows up. At first, the two of them are shocked and a bit put-off by the fact the spell chose them to be together. His 'brutishness' and her 'animal' appearance throws them both off. He's seemingly stuck however and so they try to help him fit in. Eventually, he (let's call him Steve) and Rarity begin to talk and she starts to fall in love with him despite his appearances.
Then it gets creepy. Her friends start to see him hanging around the Boutique when Rarity's out ... even though he lives elsewhere. They notice him following them whenever Rarity is with them. Pinkie overhears the two of them arguing a bit and what sounds like a slap. Rarity stops going to the spa with Fluttershy, she stops going out except for supplies and even then - he's usually nearby. Steve has gotten into fights with stallions, both customers and just passerbys. Sweetie Belle reports she's heard him call her sister a 'slut' and a 'whore.'
Rarity is convinced that he is her 'true love' still and that he just needs time to adjust. Then Spike witnesses him slapping her. Spike gets hurt defending her honor and Rarity finds both the strength to say 'no' to the human (breaking the spell that ties him here somehow) and realizes her love for Spike. Good end!
Oh, yeah. OtbOA is coming along ... slowly. I think I got it though. I think I got it.
media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mb58p6iFDa1qi3s12.gif
GOSH-DARN IT TO HECK MAN, QUIT TEASING US AND RELThat sounds like quite an interesting story, actually. The basic ideas behind it, certainly.I wonder if spousal abuse is too dark and difficult subject, though. Rather than being some big world-ending evil, it's the sort of small, everyday evil that just tarnishes the soul of everyone who comes into contact with it. And that sort of thing can be hard to write.
Why am I thinking seriously about this? Good god..
What if it was a diamond dog instead of a human?
I HATE IT, AND I HATE YOUR FACE!that sounds great you should totally do thisjust don't forget oh to be old again
... dang it, I just posted this.
Anyway, the whole 'human' part is not necessary for the idea to work. Obviously. However, I can't see Rarity getting together with any abusive prick without some external force 'pushing' her towards it - i.e. a 'love spell' that she believes in. And if I'm going to be summoning up things from the depths of inter-dimensional space, hey, why not a human?
HUMAN?? WHAT THE FUUIntresting idea, havent really seen that kind of twist with Humans in Equestria, still hmmAnd at the end Steve manages to get home again, where he lands in the middle of a Rarity fan club with very nice members who appear to have two strong arguments against his behaviour each.
I hear a toilet calling his name already. In fact a row of them. They all want a kiss from him on the inside of their shit covered surfaces while skunks dance polka on his head.
And yes I'm crazy.
Dragon
1042659
I think by having it be a human, it makes it more interesting. We've seen plenty of stories about romance between humans and ponies--it might be an interesting twist to imagine a scenario where the human traveler turned out to be a less than pleasant person.
Bonus points if Spike gets into a disturbing climactic battle with him.
"WHY DOESN'T SHE WANT ME? WHY DOES SHE ONLY CARE ABOUT YOU?"
Not a bad deconstruction of Human stories. And I'm a proponent of bringing realistic problems into this setting. Go for it.
I think it would be more interesting if Theodore H. Westfield, aka "Steve the antiquary appraiser", arrives as described. He is a snappy dresser, well groomed and a perfect English gentleman. They seem to be a perfect match.
However, instead of falling in love with Rarity, he goes and falls in love with another character. Perchance a character the exact opposite of him, slovenly, uncouth and rude. Such as Rainbow Dash.
They somehow start spending time together and hate each others guts. This slowly evolves into something else and they end up learning valuable life lessons from each other, all the while in a comedic setting.
This eventually leading to the moral of the story being that magic cant account for free will worth a red fig, prompting Twilight to have a smaller meltdown.
Yes. I like comedy as above suggestion may indicate. Spousal abuse just isnt a fun read.
However I fully respect your choice as an author and will atleast give something like that a fair shot.
Honestly?
The general idea sounds good, but the current premise is terribly weak.
It makes humans (as a species, not the character himself) sound like assholes; the resulting character of the plot has no real depth outside of being an asshole cliche; the plot itself is very simple and predictable given the setup.
ยป Mike
How does that work with the rest of the spell, though? The stallion bit, the poise bit, the treat like a princess bit?
****
"Rarity," the little purple dragon said, "will you be my bride at last?"
A sigh, a kiss, and finally, she gave in. "Yes, Spike, I will be yours."
Meanwhile, at the boutique's door.
"Oh, where is the gorgeous mare who created these magnificent dresses?" the glorious alicorn stallion spoke, shaking his waving golden locks at the strange absence of the mare he could just feel tug his heartstrings. "When I find her, I will marry her and shower her in gold!"
1042636 1042754
Actually, my most popular and liked story is a bit of a fluke for me. I like to write dark, depressing stuff - not comedy. Eh, go fig. And you're right - it's not the fake 'monsters' that we create in our stories that are truly frightening, it's the real monsters that surround us every day.
Course, I'm probably crazy. I don't think many people look at all the drawn curtains as they walk the streets of their hometown and think about what gruesome and horrible things could be happening behind those curtains. Eurgh.
Oh, and the spell works exactly as intended. It both summons what she asks for directly (the obsessive, crazy guy) and gets her her 'true love' in Spike. So the mugik works perfectly.
1042646
No. Rarity would have to want to be with this abusive guy.
1042670 1042726 1042686
To be honest, I didn't even really see it as a 'deconstruction' of the HiE romance genre until you guys pointed it out but it really does fit and that may have been what my mind was going for. I dunno, how often is it some 'Prince Charming' human that gets sucked into Equestria and bones a pony? I mean really? There are 4 billion males on this planet and about 90% of those guys are jerks, have cultures vastly different than the ponies (Americanada but quadrupeds), and/or over-all aren't all that nice anyway. Then again, we are talking about some random Joe getting sucked into another dimension and boning an alien sooo .... Cpt. Kirk?
1042909
I can see simple but not predictable. The way I would write it is over many chapters, Steve would present himself as a really nice guy. 'Prince Charming' in the flesh. His obsessive controlling freakiness really only coming out a little at a time and even then, it would be written it off as 'nerves' or trouble adjusting etc. The POV is very important and I'd probably go with Twilight for most of it as she would be the 'leader;' both in terms of introducing the spell to Rarity as well as the slow-build concern and eventual realization. I might switch to Rarity for some mentally-scarring chapters about her pain and, of course, the very end.
Simple I can see - the best stories tend to have the simplest of premises. But you can't say it'd be predictable unless I write it. Which I'm not 100% certain I will. I still have to finish up my popularity suicide Christian-pony story.
1042951
I'd try to write it as 'non-pony' vague as I could while still maintaining the essential parts. And he would be 'charming' - when he got his way. He'd treat her very well - so long as she gave up all freedom. And he'd be very 'passionate' - just not the way she meant. I'd have to work on that, I suppose.
But then again, not sure I'd do it. Oh, and I have that thing. Not the one, but another one. I don't have it complete yet. Don't worry.
1042909
How would it make humans look evil?
Did everyone think that all griffons in MLP are bullies just because Gilda was?
Having a human in an unsympathetic role allows for a number of dramatic possibilities that wouldn't exist otherwise. I know from my experience as an actor that playing the villain is a lot more fun than playing the hero.
blogcdn.com/www.joystiq.com/media/2012/07/steve.png Rarity will die right away Steve can punch trees down with his bare hands.
HiE relationship with mane 6 but the human is an abusive prick? Good concept but the story is...
Rarity already learned this lesson with Blueblood. Although with less brutality involved.
Also I have a huge amount of headcanon about the nature of Spike's affection for Rarity based on dragon magic and Rarity's special talent.
So what if Rarity learned her prince was a punk. Then Fancy Pants is a perfect stallion, but she would have to give up her art for his lifestyle. When Spike is older she pursues a relationship with him, but learns he does not have actual sexual attraction to her, his feelings are based on the fact that magic wise, she is a living horde. Disillusioned she gives in to a suitor who turns out to be an abusive shit. After surviving through it and being rescued by her friends and Spike she realizes that true romance is about overcoming obstacles to find love and happiness, not an ideal, and gives herself soul and body to Spike as his property, since he is the only one who ever truly loved her for who and what she was, despite never being able to reciprocate physically. This triggers his true growth and he has wings and shit and they live together as an asexual couple for the rest of Rarity's life in a mountain cave full of dresses and gems.
Why the fuck did I just write that?
Will the random idea be a one shot thing or have any chapters? Also, how's progress on the next chapter of OtbOA?
1043438
Right now? They're blog posts! I'm not sure I'll ever write this. What'd be the point, I just told you the story. I might work on it eventually but I'd need to sit down and actually plan (OH NOES) for something like this to work and I suck at actually planning things out. Yeah, I'm a hack and a humbug, why do you ask?
1043389
All head canon is as valid as any other head canon. And actually, Sparity isn't my favorite couple for Spike or Rarity but I like how it kind of gives a more hopeful tone to the ending. How things might turn to shit for a while but it doesn't have to stay that way.
1042980
But if the dog appears because of Twilight's spell and Rarity thinks so...
Hell I don't know. It gives her another reason to hate him.
1043584
Yeah. I don't ship actually. Anypony. But Spike's crush is canon, and the "living hoard" thing is the only thing I have come up with that explains at all how his feelings are presented.
The only thing in the show that ever contradicted it was when the loopty hoop made Twi's hair look like Rarity's and Spike went gaga.
But just because his attraction is based on a magical allure, doesn't mean he can't develop real feelings as a result.
1043584
Oh, I thought that it was a set thing, seeing as you've thought out the basic plot of it so far. I guess you sucking at planning also explains why OtbOA updates are nigh far and few between
1043676
I ship. It's part of my job, though we're limited to the continental United - OH! Oh. Oh, I ship that way too but fully accept that all ponies are asexual caricatures of humans meant for tiny baby human consumption and thus have no sex - ever. They are all panromantic asexuals; anything else is head canon.
FlutterPie OTP
1043723
Yeah, pretty much. I actually do have a loose plan with OtbOA but I'm having trouble making what I write fit the plan. That's one of the reasons I don't plan often. I tend to get distracted very easily and end up miles away from my plan by the time I stop typing.
Well, that and group scenes. Trying to keep track of everyone talking, who says what, plus the way I frame my stories ... there's a great deal conspiring to make this chapter a pain. I think I have an idea of how to make it all work though. Just gotta fix things up a bit. That might take a bit.
1043838
Lol.
1043838
At any rate, I hope the next chapter comes out great and the way you want it
Well now you just dun spoiled the whole thing regardless. Anyway, I'd give it a read- especially if it followed with some good spikexrarity shipping.
I don't really like the idea personally, but I think you could make it work. You'd have to make sure you write the spell just so or it wouldn't relate properly. It would require planning and sticking to a plan unless you're really good at winging it.
Hmm... What if the spell summoned Thor? He's kind of a prick.
1043389 {Insert overused "That escalated quickly" meme} lol!
That was interesting. I hadn't heard about the "horde" thing. It states that Spike likes Rarity because her magic is attuned to gemstones? 
1044013
Pretty much, yeah. And as far as I know I am the only one to come up with this theory.
DO IT
Do we have to have a happy ending?
Maybe find a way to destroy half of Equestria.
With mozzarella.
Carry On
1044444 I like it. It gives me the idea that magic has certain "tastes" or "aromas" that certain creatures, like dragons, are able to sense through a sort of synesthesia, maybe?
1045853
no rarity, you are the horde and then rarity was gems