Failed Fics #2: 'Our Darkest Days' · 5:53am Apr 4th, 2013

Hello and welcome to the next installment of 'Failed Fics,' a look into the numerous fanfics I've started but ultimately had to kill. Their stories vary, but the themes are the same; they just didn't belong in this world.

Today's installment is a bit of a doozy and requires a bit of backstory. Around this time last year, I had an idea to cross-over two of my story continuities; the 'Dear Sweetie Belle Continuity' and the universe in which 'an Oral History of the Rise of the New Lunar Republic' took place. I labored under the idea for weeks and finally hammered out the treatment for my very first multi-chapter epic.

I wrote the Prologue... and I didn't like it.

I wrote Chapter 1... and I didn't like it.

The story wasn't picking up steam and I... just... stopped... caring. Thus starting my months long hiatus until 'Lost in the Night' saved me. 'Our Darkest Days' was deleted from existence.

I still love the idea, so that's what you'll see here. I won't post the full completed chapters, but I will show off some excerpts, ones I loved and ones I hated.

WARNING: This story was meant to take place in the 'Dear Sweetie Belle' continuity, roughly 2 years after the events of 'Morning Glory.' There are some elements that I liked enough to keep for future stories. Ye be warned of spoiling yourselves.

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The story opened in the 'NLR' timeline, roughly a week after the end of the story. We're introduced to the New Lunar Council; Princess Luna, Governor Braeburn, Governor Lyra Heartstrings, Lady Bon Bon, Lady Gilda of Griffonia, and Jade Ring (the slimy sonofabuck who ratted out the Mane 6.)

The council talks a while about the impending executions of Twilight, AJ, and Rarity before Luna makes a huge announcement; the Republic is to be dissolved and replaced by the First Lunar Empire. Gilda is offended and declares the move an act of war against Griffonia. Luna reveals that the Empire's military has already invaded and subjugated Griffonia. When she refuses to swear loyalty to the newly crowned Empress Luna, Gilda is executed on the spot.

In the other time-line, things are a mixed bag. Fluttershy and Mac have a daughter named Scarlet, Dash and AJ are in a full-fledged relationship, Spike and Rarity are still carrying on their affair in secret, and Scootaloo has left on a journey to find her cutie-mark after Sweetie Belle and Applebloom get their's before her.

The chapter picks up at Granny Smith's funeral. Yup, I went there.

After the wake, Twilight and Spike return to the library where Spike has some tough questions for his best friend.

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“Twilight… what happens when you die?”

“Oh.” Not really the question Twilight had been expecting. She sighed and looked away. “That’s not a very easy question to answer, Spike.” She used her magic to pull several books off the large shelves that dominated the main room. Each opened and rotated around the pair. “The truth is… nopony really knows. It’s not really something you can study.”

“But somebody must have an idea… right?”

“The most popular theory I’ve read about is that when you die, you, or part of you, goes to another world… another plane of existence.”

“What happens after that?”

“You just… live forever, I guess. Everypony you’ve ever known is there, and everything is wonderful. Forever and ever.”

“…sounds nice.”

Twilight noted his bitter tone. “Hey now; what’s got your spines in a bunch?”

Spike looked her in the eye, still registering that thrill he always got now that they were the same size and he didn’t have to look up at her anymore. “Nothing. I was just wondering. That’s all.”

Twilight smiled gently and rubbed the spines on his head, trying to defuse his temper. It had shortened considerably since he’d started the growing process. “This was the first death you’ve ever experienced, wasn’t it?”

“Wasn’t it yours?”

Twilight shook her head. “No. My grandma passed when I was just a little filly, and my grandpa not long after that.” She looked at him. “Seriously, Spike, what’s wrong?”

Spike averted her gaze and sighed. “I just never realized until today that everybody I know is going to die.”

“That’s a fact of life, Spike. But it’s not going to happen for a long, long time so you don’t need to worry…”

“NO TWILIGHT!” Spike interrupted, suddenly in a rage. Twilight recoiled at the spout of flame that shot from his nose. “I mean EVERYBODY. I’m a dragon, and that means I’m going to outlive all of you! You, Rarity, Sweetie Belle… even Scarlet! You’ll all die before I’m even middle aged!”

Twilight froze, her mouth agape. It was true, and she kicked herself for not realizing Spike’s problem earlier. “Spike, I…”

“Forget it, Twi. I told you it was stupid.” He stomped to the door and flung it open. The wind blew rain into his face, but he barely felt it. “Rarity said she needed some help with stuff if I was available. I’m heading over. Don’t wait up.” The door slammed and he was gone.

Twilight collapsed onto the floor, still in shock over Spike’s outburst. He was right, of course. Dragons were the only basically immortal beings in Equestria besides the princesses. Even if Spike never increased the size of his horde and remained the same size physically, he would still never age. He would live on… until he was slain or the world ended.

One of the books she’d summoned lay open nearby and it’s illustration caught her attention. She concentrated and floated it over for a closer look; it was a very old wood carving, pre-dating even Celestia and Luna. It was the conclusion to a fable that most ponies were told very early in school. The story was about a dragon who tried being friends with a pegasus, a unicorn, and an Earth pony. One by one, the ponies turned down his offer of friendship… all but the unicorn. The unicorn saw past his monstrous exterior and the two became dear friends.

Until the end.

The picture showed the great dragon weeping as he held the wrinkled, old, grey mare that had been his friend. She had gone… and he could not follow.

To Twilight, the dragon’s eyes looked like Spike’s.

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(I really liked that scene. A lot.)

Back at the farm, Mac, Fluttershy, Dash, and AJ share one last toast in memory of Granny Smith. Mac notes that they'll find out who gets the farm the next day then retires to bed. Dash asks AJ if she wants her to stay the night, but AJ declines. Dash departs. Then... this happens.

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Fluttershy sighed and looked over at her sister-in-law. The orange pony was gazing out the window Rainbow Dash had flown through with a strange expression on her face. “Applejack?” The grieving grand-daughter started slightly, then resumed her star-gazing. “What’s on your mind?”

“Nothin.’” AJ muttered.

“AJ?”

Applejack turned and saw the pressing look on Fluttershy’s face. She chuckled, pulled the hat from her head, and leaned back to stare at the ceiling.

“Is it something about Rainbow Dash?”

No answer.

“I really don’t know why she couldn’t have stayed over…”

“Two years.”

“What was that?”

Applejack lowered her face and looked Fluttershy right in the eye. “Two years she and I have been together, Fluttershy. Two of the happiest years of my life. But…”

“But what?” Fluttershy leaned forward.

“I… I keep asking her to move in with us… with me, I mean. Every six months I ask her and every six months she gives me some excuse. ‘I have to be close to Cloudsdale for the Weather Team,’ ‘I just finished redecorating the apartment...’ Y’know in all our time together, she’s never once invited me over to her place?”

“Well,” Fluttershy whispered. “She does live in the clouds…”

“But Twilight’s got that cloud-walkin’ spell, doesn’t she?” Applejack’s voice rose as she got more and more worked up. “I love that pegasus more than I can bear, and I want us to move on to be more than we are.”

“I don’t…”

“Fluttershy, don’t you get it?!” Applejack was nearly hysterical now. “I look at you and Macintosh everyday and I see what you have and I wonder WHY CAN’T I HAVE THAT?!” She hurled her hat across the room and covered her face to hide the wetness in her eyes. “I wanna live with her and cook and clean with her and I… I want her face to be the last thing I see at night and the first thing I see in the morning.” Her voice began to weaken and crack. “I… I want us to be more than we are. I want us to get married and start a family and I…” Her face fell, her eyes wide and unseeing. “I just don’t wanna be alone!”

Fluttershy floated across the room and embraced her sister-in-law, holding on to her tightly. She shushed her and stroked her hair. “Shhh. It’s gonna be okay. Let it out…”

Applejack sniffed but did not pull away. “Y’know, I was talking to Lyra the other day, and I asked her how long it took her and Bon Bon to move in together. “Y’know what she said?”

“What?”

“T…two months…” Applejack finally broke and began sobbing uncontrollably.

Fluttershy wasn’t sure how long she held the normally stoic and strong mare as her body shook with the force of her sorrows. Eventually, the cries became less and less strong and the flow lessened to a mere trickle. Finally the young farmer pulled away and looked up with appreciation in her eyes.

“Thanks, sis. Sorry I’m all messed up like this. It’s just… well, Granny Smith gettin’ sick and leavin’ us so soon, I’m in what you might call an overly emotional state.”

“I understand completely. But Applejack, you’re never alone. You’ve still got Applebloom and Macintosh and me and Scarlet.”

“Shucks, I know that. It’s just different.”

“I know. And if that’s the case you really should bring all this up to Dash. If you don’t, things are just going to get worse.”

“I know, I know.” Applejack got up and picked up her hat, studied it, then placed it back on her head. A thought occurred to her and she paused. “You wanna know something weird?”

“What?”

Applejack glared out into the rain, towards Cloudsdale. Somewhere out there was the mare she loved… and hated sometimes. “Sometimes I wonder if things would’ve been simpler if Dash and I had never gotten together.”

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(Nothing wrong with that at first glance, is there? Except that it's completely unearned. What's worse, I've reduced one of the strongest characters on the show into a weeping child and tried to cover it up with some flimsy excuse about raised emotions. That scene frustrates me to no end.)

In the NLR timeline, Commander Dash of the Shadowbolts reveals her true loyalty to her friends and helps AJ, Rarity, and Twilight escape... accidently killing the evil Lt. Scootaloo in the process.

(Yeah, there's A LOT of character deaths in this story. Get used to it.)

Twilight releases Spike to cause a distraction and the four friends escape to Pinkie’s rock farm where Pinkie and Fluttershy are waiting for them. Twilight reveals her plan to open a door to another universe where Celestia is still alive, then bring her back to their world and defeat Luna.

Spike arrives but has inadvertently allowed Empress Luna to follow. Twilight prepares the spell while Dash and Spike battle the wicked Empress. The portal opens and the other five are sucked through.

In the other timeline, the portal is preceded by a great storm. On her way to check the Storm Cloud Production room, Dash saves the falling alternate reality ponies and brings them to Twilight’s library (where Twilight has just discovered the truth of Rarity and Spike’s relationship. Awkward.)

NLR Twilight tells the story of Empress Luna’s rise to power and pleads for Celestia’s aid. While Twilight sends for the princesses, the two sets of ponies note their differences. In an especially moving scene, war tested NLR Fluttershy meets her alternate reality daughter and realizes what could have been hers.

In the NLR timeline, Empress Luna vaporizes Dash (Death #4) and enslaves Spike to her will.

The princesses arrive and are stunned by the story, especially Luna. She demands the opportunity to set things right. The two Twilights re-open the portal… allowing Empress Luna to IMPALE NLR TWILIGHT ON HER HORN (Death #5). The sudden magical disruption causes the portal to collapse, creating a vortex that sends Luna, Fluttershy, NLR Rarity, NLR Pinkie, and NLR AJ into the NLR universe. In turn, Empress Luna is sucked into the normal universe.

Celestia is sealed between dimensions. (That's called a plot device, kids. It allows writers to get rid of overpowered characters for dramatic purposes.)

In the NLR timeline, AJ assumes command and decides that with Empress Luna out of the picture, they can re-take Canterlot. They make plans to rendezvous with the New Dawn, the main resistance group, and re-take Sweet Apple Acres to gather more to their cause.

In the normal timeline, Twilight engages Empress Luna in battle but is easily defeated. Empress Luna mentally tortures the unicorn for information about the new world and discovers the spell to re-open the portal in Twilight’s mind. NLR Fluttershy escapes with baby Scarlet and Pinkie while Rarity runs with Spike. Dash and AJ manage to save Twilight and run.

In the NLR timeline, the group meets the resistance lead by Macintosh and Princess Cadance. At first, Fluttershy is overjoyed at seeing her husband, but soon realizes that in this world, her peaceful farmer is a battle-scarred hero married to political prisoner Cheerilee.

In the normal universe, Empress Luna wreaks havoc on Ponyville until Applebloom and Sweetie Belle try to fight back. The pair are nearly killed but are saved at the last minute by a returning Scootaloo. The reunited CMC actually put up a decent fight, but are ultimately overwhelmed. Empress Luna mocks the fallen Scootaloo and the fact that she is still a blank flank. She bestows the ‘gift’ of a false Cutie Mark that places her under the Empress’ control.

(Fun fact: that chapter would've been called 'The Last Crusade.')

In the NLR timeline, the resistance retakes Sweet Apple Acres in a pitched battle. After the fight, Macintosh reveals that Cheerilee is barren and has Fluttershy tell him about their daughter. AJ assigns Luna to impersonate the Empress and infiltrate Canterlot Castle.

Back in the normal timeline, the Bearers reunite and launch an all-out attack. Their bravery turns the townsfolk and soon all of Ponyville is fighting the Empress. In a fit of rage, she opens a pocket dimensional rift and bring the massive NLR Spike into the fight. With no other option, Spike has Rarity and Twilight summon huge amounts of treasure that allow him to grow into a full dragon. The two Spikes clash, waging war in Ponyville. (Think Godzilla level destruction here.)

In the NLR timeline, Luna enters Canterlot Castle and discovers the spell needed to reopen the portal in Twilight's novel in the Archives. To avoid revealing her true identity, she agrees to a visit with the Empress’ concubine; Shining Armor. At first unwilling, she gives in to her latent desires and sleeps with him. (This was the inspiration for ‘Lost in the Night’ come to think about it.)

In the normal timeline, Spike defeats his NLR counterpart and watches in horror as Empress Luna kills him (Death #6). The battle resumes with Dash forced to battle Scootaloo. Dash finally gets through to the young Pegasus and frees her from the Empress’ control. NLR Fluttershy is sheltered by Derpy and Dinky, who remember the Doctor’s prophecy from ‘Morning Glory.’

In the NLR timeline, the resistance attacks and takes Canterlot Castle despite Luna’s true identity being uncovered by Jade Ring. Jade and the governors are taken prisoner, but not before AJ and a starved Applebloom beat Jade Ring to the point of death for his crimes. Mac is fatally wounded in the fight and dies (Death #7), but not before Fluttershy reveals her new pregnancy to him. Luna prepares to open the portal.

In the normal timeline, Derpy’s love for her daughter forces NLR Fluttershy to understand what she’s become. The two charge out to help in the fight… and Derpy is critically injured. Dinky, distraught at her mother’s pain, loses control of her magic and empowers every unicorn in the fight. They all fire their magic at the same time… just as the portal re-opens.

The two Luna’s are sucked into the vortex where they meet Celestia. Celestia cannot tell the two apart but ultimately chooses the right Luna and chains the other. The portal stabilizes and the two groups are reunited. The free Luna is revealed to be the Empress, but before she can kill Celestia, the two groups of Bearers (with Scootaloo and Dinky taking Dash and Twilight’s places in the NLR group) blast her with the Elements of Harmony. Reduced to a shell of her former self, the Empress makes a final charge at Twilight but is finally destroyed by Luna herself. (Death #8)

The portal begins to close and the groups say their good-byes. Dinky and Scootaloo head into the NLR timeline to help restore the world to its proper balance. The portal closes, and recovery begins.

Months later, Dash and AJ discuss the way things are and Dash finally proposes to AJ. The pair leave the deed to the farm with Mac and Fluttershy and elope, leaving Ponyville behind. The town holds a celebration and memorial for the fallen ponies. At the party, Twilight catches up with Shining Armor, Cadance, and her baby nephew, Morning Dew. The Doctor finally returns and reunites with Derpy. She rejects him until her reveals his real name; Time Turner. Spike and Rarity reveal their relationship to the princesses… and receive Celestia’s blessing.

Later, Celestia finds Luna crying in a corner alone. When pressed, Luna reveals her tryst with the NLR Shining Armor has resulted in a pregnancy.

In the NLR timeline, the new Bearers of Harmony raise the sun for the first time in over a year, ending the darkest days.

In an epilogue, Time Turner visits Twilight in a dream and reveals that the NLR timeline is just one of millions of different timeline, many with minute differences from her own. He reveals that her adventures are not over… and what lies ahead will test her even more.

Deep in the Everfree forest, Zecora finds a crippled pony near death. He babbles about a ‘great war’ coming soon, wrought by ‘the sons of Armor; one born of loving light, the other of lusting dark.’

He calls himself Jade Ring.

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So that was 'Our Darkest Days.' Decent right? What happened? It got too big too fast, simple as that. I just wasn't ready to write something that big. I'd honestly consider revisiting it... if I hadn't already completely retconned most of it's major events.

'Our Darkest Days.' Epic. Ambitious. FAILED.

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