Story Review: Twilight's Best Friend

Twilight's Best Friend
by Blueshift

Description (from story page):
Based on the lazy Hasbro recolour of Twilight Sparkle. One dark and stormy night, Twilight Sparkle is visited by a strange pony. But this pony knows a lot about Twilight Sparkle; in fact, she might just be Twilight's number one fan. And that couldn't be a bad thing, right?

VISION (Does the work present or reflect a point of view, theme, or idea?): B (above-average)
Twilight's Best Friend incorporates a theme that is arguably one of the most difficult to write for. The first part of the story focuses on a theme of self-loathing. How each character deals with this is different, and Twilight's had more than her fair share of this in canon. Under the psychological pressure of her visitor's continuous presence and later at her own substitution, she commits to an act she herself deems rash, even in an irrational state-of-mind. When she finally comes around and realizes what she has done, Twilight gets a first-hand lesson in our theme's second half: regret. Blueshift handles this paired theme well, giving us a rare glimpse into how Twilight might react if the limelight was shifted away from herself, turning her into a "normal" pony, just like everypony else. It's this shift into normalcy that causes Twilight's journey into the abyss, and Blueshift skillfully spins it in such a way that allows her to explore these feelings by directing them at somepony else.

ORIGINALITY (Is the work fresh or new in its style, execution, or approach? Is it something you haven't seen before in its genre? Did it surprise you?): A (excellent)
When a story database like FIM Fiction reaches into the tens of thousands, it becomes exponentially difficult to create a narrative that is truly original. Almost without exception, anything written has been tried before by another story. I say "almost," because Twilight's Best Friend is one exception. Here, we are taken into the darkest recesses of Twilight's mind and back again. Her seething and eventually violent bouts of self-hatred are plainly evident, except that the hatred and violence manifests at herself through another pony. It is this metaphorical twist and strange commentary on modern psychology that shows not only that a story with a very simple plot line can be unique in its own right, but it also shows us that we are Twilight. The story dives into our own thoughts and internal statements that we deal with every day in the real world. His portrayal of Twilight's "number-one fan" is so fresh and iconic in the face of Twilight's deepening shock, despair, and eventual rage; it forces one to think about how they would - or could deal with similar situations ourselves. While Twilight's Best Friend earned mediochre marks in other categories, it is quite possibly the most original story I've read on this site, in terms of character and theme approach. The plot is very simple, but don't let that mislead you into thinking the story isn't deep in its characterizations.

TECHNIQUE (Was the work skillfully created? Does the author exhibit advanced knowledge of storytelling, plot-building, grammar/spelling, etc.?): D (below-average)
Twilight's Best Friend's technical writing aspects are dreadful, but pointedly so. It takes no more than two or three paragraphs to realize that either the author is extraordinarily bad at writing narrative, or the prose is intentionally grating. The story's saving grace in this category - which kept from it the as-yet-unearned 'F' - was its unabashedly unapologetic presentation of such a style. The story was told quite poorly, but with a flair for the bad that made it almost endearing by the last page. The spelling errors, grammatical faux-pas, run-on sentences, sentence fragments, and complete misuse of some words will leave readers wanting desperately to wash their hands after touching this one, but they will remember the affront to the English language fondly as the story sinks deeper into their minds.

IMPACT (Does the work resonate with you or evoke strong emotions? Does it make you think?): C (average)
Some stories are exceptional in that they have the courage to tackle heavy themes which are known to be difficult topics in proper story construction. When successful, these stories are the ones which stay in the forefront of your mind for weeks - months after closing the back cover. Twilight's Best Friend is not one of these. While it tackles the heavy theme of regret and self loathing, it is predictable to the point where you need read only through the first two chapters before you realize how this will end. That's the catch, though. You don't know how it will end until you do finish that first part. Each scene itself offers something new in the background, keeping the reader turning the pages. However, the overall plot is simple enough that it will not occupy your thoughts for long after you finish the last sentence - itself containing a rather unsurprising "twist."

Overall: C (average)
Sometimes, a story can be very bad, and at the same time, be very good. Twilight's Best Friend is such a story. When a visitor shows up on her doorstep, Twilight welcomes her happily. From here, we follow Twilight into hell and back, but it's an inferno of her own making. The simple plot misleads the reader into overlooking the difficult and masterfully woven theme until nearly half-way through the narrative. But sadly, the technical errors and lack of emotional impact leaves the story feeling flat at the end, despite a predictable twist which threatens to restart the cycle.