In Retrospect: Legacy of the Sun / My Little WTF · 8:32am Jun 21st, 2023
Greetings, champion! Bet you didn't think I'd actually continue this, did you? Bet you thought I'd go and disappear for two years again? Honestly, wouldn't blame you, there's a bit of a precedent for it. But last time was fun, I wanna keep doing it! So, what's on the docket today?
Ah. I see.
Well, before I get into the meat of things, let's have a little page break, shall we? Wouldn't want to clog up your feed with paragraphs upon paragraphs of self reflection.
Much better.
Alright, let me just get this out of the way real quick.
My Little WTF
So, short backstory on this. The year is 2012, the brony craze is in full-swing, obviously I'm very much involved in it. I'm with EQD, I'm with Fimfiction (I think), I'm watching the show, going to cons, buying merch, the whole nine yards. My close friends knew about this and were on board for the most part. They'd watch new episodes with me sometimes, we even had a "party" for when the S1 finale came out. I made cupcakes, we talked about it, etc. That sort of thing. We're all around the same age, so it was a bunch of early 20s dudes.
One of those friends knew about the MLP thing but didn't really watch much, but he knew some of the characters. And he would say some insane shit back in the day. One day we were talking (alcohol was probablyinvolved), and somehow it got to the point where he was narrating and I was writing down the ludicrous things he was saying. I decided it was a great idea to then take that, clean it up a bit, and then publish it as a fanfic.
That's where My Little WTF comes from. Without further adieu...
Chapter 1
Okay actually I take it back, I'm not going to attempt to "review" this. I'm actually going to unpublish it and lock it away in the vault because holy shit this is worse than I remember. I unironically don't want anyone to read this because it'll probably get me cancelled or something. It is positively vile.
However, I will share some of my favorite quotes and hide them behind a spoiler tag:
“But I’m doing some math. This is the math I’m talking about. You plus me equals great SEX.”
They left to go to the ballroom together. They never felt closer. They were methed out. Twilight Princess was seeing everything flash before her eyes. Walls were melting, chairs were talking to her, Rainbow Dash looked attractive.
They made another Discord - that’s five Discord’s, this is ridiculous
They both whinnied so hard the moon shook.
The whinny that shook the moon, shook the heavens, and shook the earth. Volcanoes erupted, dragons roared with awesome, Neil Patrick Harris stood in a suit, glowing, and he even heard it. This was just the beginning. <- How I Met Your Mother was popular among our group at the time.
Chapter 2
(holy shit this is FUCKED UP) <- This is an author's note from me.
Shutterfly ended up becoming brain dead (Oh my god who writes this?).
****mare Loon galloped in the air, because she was a majestic creature, and used her hornicorn powers.
and Nightmare Loon neighed to the moon, and Neil Patrick Harris was petting her mane. He was saying “It’ll be okay, young one. It’ll be okay” because he is the GOD of Ponyville.
Rainbow Dash bit her neck like “ARRR”, she’s a fuckin’ pirate.
Nicolas Cage walked in and was like “I’m a vampire! I’m a vampire! I’m a vampire! Kill me, kill me!”
So yeah... uh... don't read that! And from now on I will reject all association with it. 
My final rating for My Little WTF is 0/10, don't read this. Jesus.
NOW we can move on to an actual story!
Legacy of the Sun
Way back in 2012, I believe the first National Pony Writing Month (NaPoWriMo) was kicking off, in September of that year. Or maybe it was the 2nd? I don't actually recall. All I know is that I joined it, and I was determined to write something. My subject of choice was... a Celestia and Luna origin story? I already have some issues with that.
First off, that is an insanely ambitious thing to tackle. That's essentially trying to write the origin story for God. And as my second fanfic ever? I'm not sure what I was thinking, but apparently I had high hopes to try and take on. Secondly, the goal for NaPoWriMo was 50,000 words. Which, to be fair, is a substantial amount for a fanfic, but I am currently of the opinion that that's not NEARLY enough words to cover a story with a scope like this. Like, if you want to cover Celestia and Luna from birth/creation to the beginning of the show, that is potentially thousands of years of history and lore you have to cover. Sure, you can do it in that wordcount, but I'm not totally convinced it'd be fleshed out enough.
Or maybe I'm just biased because Celestia is my favorite and I have a higher standard for her. Maybe a bit of both.
But anyway, I made an attempt, and apparently I had done 23,498 words. So, I almost reached the halfway point. Interestingly though, the story is only 18,833 words. I'm guessing I made revisions at some point and cut down the word count. Even though it's unfinished, I think I can still give it a look and judge the content that's currently there. Shall we?
Chapter 1
Right off the bat I notice I have "Age: 0" at the top, meaning I was going to have each chapter (or maybe segment) covering a certain moment at a certain age in Celestia's life. Since it's currently 0, I suspect she's not born yet at the start, meaning this chapter will be focusing on her parents.
This chapter starts off with four paragraphs of flowery text to describe a beautiful forest, which turns out to be the Everfree Forest. It's too bad that was told to the reader, rather than being shown through dialogue or following some character. I suppose I just wanted to get into the characters and establish the setting immediately. The old castle there is also covered, so I'm establishing here that the castle in Everfree Forest is actually the birthplace of Celestia. I don't know if that's been explained at all in canon, but as of this moment, I'm still on board with that idea.
I then spend several paragraphs describing the looks, armor, and voice of... Sonance, Celestia's father. I also hint at something called 'ascension', which I'm sure we'll get to later. I'm not sure where I got this name from. "Sonance" is a noun described as... being something that's sonant. And "Sonant", in its simplest definition, is just "having sound." So it's not particularly godly of a name and I'm not even sure if it has anything to do with his abilities.
Anyways, he's a dark Alicorn and 3400 years old.
I'm noticing how difficult it is for me to describe voices. For instance: "His voice was regal and commanding, but at the same time calm and composed." Does that actually give you an idea of how his voice sounds? It's telling me how he talks, sure, but I'm not really getting a sense of the sound.
That aside, mom gets introduced: Rhapsody. So for whatever reason, I gave them musical names. I'm unsure if this ever actually plays into the story or not. She gets several paragraphs of description too, and then they begin to talk about how they're getting old and need an heir. Through conversation, it's alluded to that Rhapsody either created or designed the landscape of Equestria (or even the world), including their castle.
More conversation reveals that in 600 years they're going to "ascend" and "join the cosmos," so apparently Alicorns have a timer of 4000 years on them. So they decide to have a child and the scene ends, then does a timeskip right to when Rhapsody is giving birth. Obviously, this a SFW story, so it doesn't get very graphic, but it does go into what a struggle it is for her. It's not a bad detail, I suppose. Sonance is there helping, as this is ancient Equestria and hospitals don't exist, and he is a very supportive husband. They even have a sweet moment after the deed is done.
He shows Rhapsody the newborn Celestia, who already has her cutie mark from birth. Rhapsody interprets the mark correctly, but for some reason I give Sonance a line where he says he thinks it means more than just raising the sun. I'm not even sure what I meant by this. Rhapsody then asks for a name, and after a paragraph that I think is way too long describing the process, he answers with "Celestia" and the chapter ends.
Besides the overly flowery prose at times, I think this chapter is pretty decent! Their names could've been better, but I still like the general design and character of the parents I came up with back then.
Chapter 2
Immediately, this chapter starts off with a massive 200 year timeskip. Now, I know in Alicorn years this is still very young for Celestia, but still. I probably could've explored that first year, or maybe year ten or something. I'm not sure why I had to immediately go to 200. I'm willing to bet I had thought of some silly time conversion, where Celestia's 200 is like a normal pony's 5. I don't know. I even allude to as such a couple paragraphs down, where I mention that for an Alicorn, 200 is still a filly.
But I also mention that Celestia isn't aware of this, because apparently, somehow, not a single pony has come to this castle in the woods and discovered her in the span of 200 years. So she doesn't even know that she's been alive for entire lifetimes. A bit too convenient, if you ask me, and unbelievable as well. Definitely something I would expand upon if I were writing it today.
So, Celestia is playing in a forest clearing and Sonance finds her. He pridefully watches her for a bit, then they have a cute little father/daughter moment when she sees him. Then he mentions it's about time for flying lessons? Is that what this chapter is going to be? I guess so, as apparently she was always asking them when she'd be able to fly.
Unrelated, but I keep reading Sonance's lines in Mufasa's voice and I don't know why. I don't think that's what I was going for, but alas, it's happening.
Oh, actually, nevermind, the whole 'flying practice' thing is summed up in a paragraph. It then turns into Celestia asking why she was born with a cutie mark. Is this like "the talk" but for alicorns? Sonance thinks bemusingly of it as much. He asks her to walk with him, and explains that one day she's going to rule Equestria... wait, am I sure I wasn't writing him like Mufasa?
ahem, anyway... he also explains she'll be the one to move the sun every day, and she's amazed at this because that's like telling a 5 year old they're going to be king of the world eventually. He even offers to teach her, and asks her to try it. Just right then and there. She tries and obviously fails, but he's a good dad and is impressed by her willingness to try anyway.
I'm pretty fond of this scene, if I'm being honest. It really just boils down to Celestia being a cute child and Sonance being a caring dad. Their interactions feel pretty natural. My only real criticism is that their speech is fairly modern for being so far in the past, but I didn't really establish a different speaking pattern previously, so at the very least it's consistent.
Moving on, Sonance has to go, so Celestia decides to talk with Rhapsody about her cutie mark. She doesn't have any better answers than Sonance did, but then Celestia springs the "are you and daddy really going to leave one day?" question on her. She also doesn't have a real answer for this, and just kinda sends Celestia on her way to go play.
This scene was a lot shorter than the Sonance one, and I'm not as happy with my writing for Rhapsody as I was for Sonance. Some of her lines seem a bit stilted, and overall it just didn't seem like enough time was spent with her. Maybe I felt more comfortable writing for Sonance, it's hard to really say.
Later on in the night, Sonance and Rhapsody have some parent talk about Celestia's question. Sonance is worried that she's too young to know the truth, and that she'll be alone in the world. Which, admittedly is true, and this leads to Rhapsody suggesting they should have another kid. She's uh, sure coming on strong there. They then agree to stay quiet about it for now, and that's the end of the chapter.
So like I said before, loved the parts between Sonance and Celestia. I thought those were written well, and it really felt like a father/daughter bond between them. Rhapsody didn't have much screentime, and she's a little too eager to have another foal, at least in the amount of dialogue presented her. I'd definitely give her and Celestia some more interaction, and try to write her better overall.
Chapter 3
Alright, another 300 year timeskip, let's goooo. 
This chapter is also called "Luna", so I can only imagine what's going to happen here.
It begins with a description of Celestia's hair, which is getting more flowy now due to high levels of alicorn magic. I also see I've gone with the "Celestia had pink hair when she was young" trope, which I don't dislike. She's pacing around her room, waiting for news from her father, because her mother is in labor! In very convenient timing, Sonance arrives and tells her to come with him, and while they're walking I mention that the forest had started growing rapidly and they didn't know why. I'm not sure what this is alluding to right now, but surely I had plans for it, right?
Celestia and Sonance arrive at the room, where Rhapsody is waiting with the newborn Luna. I take some time to describe her before I do the namedrop, pretty standard. And then Celestia's first question is "I'm still going to be a princess, right?" At face value, that seems kinda weird, like she just got a new sibling and all she can think about is her status. BUT, I think it's reasonable, hear me out. I know when my sister was born, I was very nervous about it, and I'm sure all kids are if they get a new sibling. It doesn't seem too farfetched for them to ask some outlandish question, because they aren't exactly thinking totally logically. And I think that's what I'm going for here when writing Celestia. She's been pacing around, bunch of questions going through her head, then sees her new sister and blurts out something ridiculous. That's reasonable, right? Right?
I spent way too long trying to rationalize that. Anyway, the parents chuckle and answer the question, then reveal that Luna is also born with a cutie mark. This is obviously interpreted to mean that she'll be in charge of the moon, and Sonance agrees. Baby Luna gives Celestia a boop on the snoot, which still warms my heart. The four of them have a family moment, Sonance and Rhapsody have a husband/wife moment, and then Sonance suggests him and Celestia make dinner because y'know, mom is tired from having a baby.
As the two of them walk, Sonance notices how much Celestia has grown and is believing that her and Luna will rule Equestria well. And then the chapter ends on a pretty dark note with Sonance coming to terms that he's going to die (relatively) soon.
My biggest problem with this chapter is how short it is. It's literally just Celestia meeting her sister and then Sonance having to face some grim truths at the end. There could've been waaaay more to this! I'm going to guess my outline for this segment was also very short.
Chapter 4
We have a 100 year timeskip and the chapter is called "Ascension", so it seems like it's time for Sonance and Rhapsody to go.
The chapter starts with an explanation of how birthday's are typically celebrated, then has Sonance awaking with a jolt as he realizes "it's time." It goes on to explain that all Alicorns get this when they turn 4000, so yes, they all do have an exact lifespan. An odd conclusion, but I guess I'll accept it for now.
It then cuts to in the middle of Luna chasing after Celestia for stealing her crown, followed by a quick explanation of how the crowns were formed. Again, I totally could've written this out as it's own dedicated scene and not just told it in a paragraph, but here we are. So, we have Celestia picking on Luna, as older siblings tend to do, and Luna using the tried and true threat of "I'm gonna tell mom." At this point, Celestia can fly, and she uses that skill to it's full extent to bully Luna.
Celestia runs into Sonance and Rhapsody, quite literally, and gets scolded for picking on Luna. So, this is an established behavior. Celestia then notices that it looks like they've both been crying, and asks if everything's alright. She's interrupted by Sonance, who tells her to follow them, so she does, along with Luna. There's some description of the castle showing it's age now, as it's gone unmaintained, and Celestia doesn't know what's going on.
When they get outside, Sonance start listing off Celestia and Luna's royal titles, then says they have great power and their job is to keep Equestria safe and lead it to prosperity. Then Rhapsody gives Celestia the task of teaching Luna magic and raising her to be a respectable princess. Obviously, Celestia has no idea why they're saying this, and her questioning gets ignored. Rhapsody continues, tells her to be a good ruler, treat everyone with respect, make selfless decisions, protect Equestria and her sister, all that good stuff. Sonance then warns them of potential danger outside the forest, other world rulers they might not know about, etcetera. And finally, for Celestia to take care of herself and of Luna.
That's when Celestia notices the two of them are starting to dissolve in front of her, and naturally she starts to panic. They explain that they're ascending and becoming part of the universe, and when Celestia asks if they're going to come back, all they can say is sorry. Celestia is freaking out at this point, Luna knows something is wrong, and they're trying to console Celestia but it's just not working. Sonance even says that they'll meet again among the stars, but that doesn't really help teenage Celestia who's watching both her parents essentially die in front of her.
So they fade away, there's a paragraph briefly summing up their history and then uh... the chapter ends.
And that... is a bit of big problem, because as much as they wanted to protect Celestia and keep her strong so she'd be able to live on her own and support/be supported by Luna, I do not think was a good way to go about it. They've known about this for hundreds of years, but to Celestia she just woke up one day and both her parents died in the next few hours. That is unbelievably emotionally taxing for someone to go through, and I can't imagine she comes out of this unscathed.
If I were rewriting this, I would not have had the scene go like this. Sure, it's emotional, it's a sad moment and it's clear how much pain Rhapsody and Sonance are feeling that they can't stay with their daughters. But they knew this was going to happen and absolutely should've prepared Celestia and Luna for it. It's one thing to suddenly lose your parents in a tragic accident, it is another thing entirely to lose them to a predetermined event that they both knew about and had ample time to warn you about.
So I would've had them break the news at some point, and let her know that this day would eventually come and she should be ready for it. Sure, they'd all still be crying when it finally happens, but it's terribly cruel to suddenly push this onto your daughters. Maybe I didn't realize that when I was writing it, but I can absolutely see it now. This would go a very different path if I was writing it again, I can tell you that much.
There wasn't much wrong with the story before, but this is a big hit to both Sonance and Rhapsody, teetering on the edge of character assassination.
Next chapter, I guess. That really bummed me out.
Chapter 5
Finally, no huge timeskip this time. Just a few weeks later. Celestia and Luna are still coping with the loss of their parents, with Celestia taking it especially hard. And to be honest, I don't blame her. They haven't spoken to each other in weeks, but Luna changes that by asking Celestia to teach her to raise the moon. Why? So Celestia doesn't have to. It's kind gesture from Luna that shows she wants to help her sister out.
Celestia dismisses the idea, saying Luna isn't strong enough, but Luna's persistence changes something inside her, and she agrees to start training Luna. Happens a bit fast, if I'm being honest.
Next scene, Celestia wakes Luna up to watch her move the sun and moon. I didn't point this out before, but I did have Luna using the nickname "Celly" and now, Celestia is using "Lu-lu." I'm guessing those were fanon nicknames that had been adopted at the time, and I don't think they're bad. I will accept past Alex using these.
Luna doesn't want to get up, naturally, but Celestia forces her out of bed with a bit of magic. If Luna wants to get taught, this is how it's going to be done. Luna begrudgingly accepts this and follows Celestia outside. There's more description here of just how worn down the castle is getting from all the years.
Celestia gives Luna a demonstration on raising the sun, and when Luna asks if she'll teach her that, Celestia says they'll start with something smaller. So, since this is about moving objects, clearly Luna is going to be training with rocks or a boulder or something heavy, right? No, obviously they're going to start with transformation magic. Your guess is as good as mine why I wrote it this way, I cannot find any natural through-line here for how we got from moving the sun to transforming objects. Was I trying to be subversive or something?
The apparent logic here is that Celestia moving the sun and permanently transforming an object are proof that alicorns are strong, and because of that, doing the basics would be... too easy? I don't think that's how learning works. Gotta walk before you can run or something like that. Needless to say, I'd change this.
But then it goes right into Celestia teaching Luna to move things using a giant boulder! What was the point of that section before? I could've just led to this. There's a humorous exchange where Celestia throws the boulder and instructs Luna to bring it back using only her magic, which I enjoyed. As she's moving the boulder, Luna says "Move you dumb rock" which I think is a reference to the show? It sounds vaguely familiar but I'm not sure. Luna struggles, but successfully moves the boulder, and without missing a beat, Celestia immediately suggests flying practice.
I think I would've liked a break or something here, because I think at this point Luna is like... 100 years old? That's super young for an Alicorn, to the point it might actually be a story inconsistency that this is possible for her to do, but I digress. They spend all day on flying lessons, and despite it being established that Celestia was 300 when she learned to fly, Luna is managing to do it at 100. How, I don't know.
Night is coming, so Celestia lowers the sun and asks Luna if she wants to raise the moon. Luna says yes, but thank god is not able to do it, because if she could that would've been way too much improvement for just one chapter.
It's now the next day, and Celestia decides they're going to explore the forest together. Celestia's reasoning is that there's a lot to practice transfiguration magic on. So they go into the forest, and as they get deeper, they notice the vegetation is getting more out of hand and strange. Their exploration leads them to a "menacing" looking cave, with sickly flora growing out of it. Luna has a bad feeling, but the two of them decide to explore it anyway.
They travel deeper into the cave and find some sort of... oily, tentacle-growth clinging to the walls? Luna gets attacked by it, and while Celestia initially panics, she remembers what her mother said about protecting Luna. This makes her pissed at the tentacle creature and shoot a beam of fire at it. Cool? That allows Luna to escape, but there's a line in here that seems to say some of the tentacles absorbed into her, so maybe this is a setup to Nightmare Moon or something.
They escape the cave and get back to the castle, Luna asks about whatever that fire was and Celestia has no answer. She then thanks Celestia for saving her, and the chapter ends.
I'm not really sure what's going on with the tentacle beast, but it does get Celestia thinking that they need to leave this castle soon because the forest is getting dangerous. I have a strong suspicion that I didn't write enough for whatever happened to Luna to be explained. Anyway, that's the chapter end.
It was alright I suppose, but again this is a case where I feel like so much more could've been added and expanded upon.
Chapter 6
This is the last chapter I have submitted, and it's titled... "Discord." Oh boy.
We have another 100 year timeskip, and it's at this point that they're declaring the forest too dangerous to live within. Evil plants, vicious beasts, all that kind of thing. Also, as an aside, I noticed a lot more editing errors in the past chapter and even the beginning of this one. I guess at this point I was rushing and didn't have anyone besides myself to proofread.
The two of them get attacked by a Hydra. Now keep in mind, they can both fly. The Hydra is land/sea based creature. They can totally run away from this, and nothing is forcing them to fight. Regardless, they do just that and decide to fight it. Between blasts of magic and outsmarting it with flying techniques, the defeat it and send it running off. Again, they did not have to participate in this fight. They could've just... left.
Also, I'm really noticing the editing quality drop here. Missing words, repetition, missing punctuation. It's very clear I wasn't paying much attention to the technicals by this chapter.
After they defeat the hydra, they're given a round of applause by a group of ponies! The first group of regular ponies they've actually met. The randoms are impressed, but also expectedly, confused to see two taller ponies with both horns and wings. After some awkward silence, a pony who I make the effort to describe speaks up. I call them "Crimson Heart", and I'm not sure if this is an original character or a character referenced in the show somewhere. They introduce themselves as the founder of what "used to be" Ponyville.
So, it's this chapter where I establish Ponyville's creation. Crimson Heart says that their town was destroyed by Discord. Celestia and Luna obviously have no idea who that is, so they ask about him. Crimson "explains" his powers as him being able to do anything, and that Everfree is the only safe place left, as the rest of the world is too chaotic.
Celestia signs herself and Luna up to go deal with Discord, as it's their duty to protect Equestria. They're thanked, and then decide to leave the forest. This next paragraph literally cuts off mid-sentence, so I have no idea where it was going.
They two of them are surprised to see the outside the forest, the world is... Discord'd. Rainbow clouds, brown rain, odd-colored patterns across the grass, trees that are actually cardboard cutouts. Those kind of antics. And right as Crimson starts talking about how it used to be, the man himself shows up.
He does his usual Discord things like teleporting, trickery, sarcasm, and Celestia is instantly pissed off. She wants absolutely none of it, and honestly I don't think that's deserved quite yet. She's seen what he's apparently done, sure, but he hasn't slighted her directly yet. Perhaps she's offended that he's messing up Equestria, the place her parents told her she needs to protect. I would've given her some kind of dialogue, or a conversation with Crimson Heart that gets here really heated, then her reaction to him would feel more earned.
Speaking of Discord, I'm pretty impressed with how he's written. Admittedly it's been a long time since I've seen an episode with him, but when I'm reading his lines, I can hear him saying them in my head perfectly. So, props to past Alex for that. And the wacky things he's doing seem completely in-character, like when Celestia asks how he knows about her, he magics up a book titled "Princess Celestia" and starts reading off facts. That's such a Discord thing to do! Isn't it? It feels like it.
Celestia demands he undo everything, and when he asks how, Luna speaks up and says she'll make him. They say they'll use their powers, and to their horror, he flips the sun and moon with a snap of his fingers. So, great display of power right there, really made them feel useless. And then he makes it rain socks, and a ton of them fall on Luna... was Luna in a pile of socks a thing? I'm starting to remember some sort of ongoing fandom gag involving Luna and socks. I think past Alex was pandering.
Discord swaps the sun and moon again, which gets Celestia so mad she unlocks a new level of magic and forcefully switches them. Discord sees this as a challenge, and they both get locked in a magical duel with the celestial bodies which causes an eclipse. This leads to an actual battle, with both sides throwing magic blasts and energy beams, but Discord is making them look like a joke. At the end of it, he's literally lasso'd them in and is asking them what their preferred method of banishment is.
He gives them some time to think on it, and then... breaks into song. Which, totally isn't out of the question, but is still odd to see. While he's distracted with his singing, Celestia does... something? There's some bullshit about "raw magic" flowing through her, her eyes glow white, and she has Luna do the same, somehow. They both shoot bright beams of magic into the air, which Discord somehow doesn't notice, and in the most ridiculous display of Deus Ex Machina, this leads to a rainbow beam from the sky shooting down and turning him into stone??? Like, I specifically wrote it out so he's in the same pose as we see when the satute is revealed in his debut episode, but still, why did that happen? There is no explanation here.
AND SOMEHOW THIS CREATES THE ELEMENTS OF HARMONY.
Okay, like, the reasoning is that Discord is the element of Disharmony, so defeating him created the Elements of Harmony, but like... why. Why would it do that? Why would any of this happen like that?
And then they just like, ask the crowd what Harmony means, and the first six things they say they just roll with! Yep, that's what harmony is, we solved it by asking a crowd of random ponies! Then Celestia gives some speech that loosely tries to make it all make sense, sees all these ponies thanking them and solidifying her and Luna as the protectors of Equestria, then decides they need a new home and on a mountain sounds good. So, Canterlot.
Then the chapter ends.
This is... this is dire.
So that was... Legacy of the Sun. I'll give credit to past Alex where credit is due, the first five chapters really weren't all that bad. There were key things I would change, sure, but overall it wasn't a bad a read. But that last chapter, dear god.
Discord's writing, that was great, I'll give it that too. He spoke and acted just like I'd expect Discord to speak and act. But the ending... that ending was such a deus ex nonsensical ass-pull that it legitimately makes me want to get back into writing so I can rework this story and actually make it good. I said it earlier, Celestia is my favorite character and I have a high standard for her writing. And let me tell you, that last chapter did not meet my standard.
Also, I'd spend a lot more time with Sonance and Rhapsody and have more time focused on the early years, because there's a lot of good stuff that could come from that. More character building, more cute moments, more foreshadowing and plot development. And like, y'know, not having them suddenly disappear one day with extremely minimal warning and irreparably damaging Celestia's psyche by dropping a world of responsibility on her.
I don't even want to talk more about the final chapter, I've hopefully gotten the point across on how terrible I think that is.
Was it a finished fic? No, it wasn't. Was what was there fine? For the most part, yeah. But there's so much I would change nowadays, it'd basically be a full rewrite.
Anyhoo, this blog post is way, way too long. If you actually read all of this, I salute your patience.
My final rating for Legacy of the Sun is... 5/10. Unfinished, half-baked, terrible last chapter... but there's a lot of potential there.
Join me next time when I cover, uhh... Feeling the Beat- OH COME ON. Equestrian Hearts?? Ponies and Cage???
I guess we'll see.
I’m never in agreement in deleting things. But its yours, so do what you will.
I absolutely love when writers explain what was going through their heads at the time of writing. Then looking back and we can all cringe together as we get older.
Ponies and Cage... I'll be dreading finding out what you were thinking.
okay, but I actually remember "hornicorn powers" XD
and I had Legacy updooted pre-review era :O unexpected!
Yay more behind the scenes! And oh man, I feel for you.
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Normally I'm the same way, but in this case it was too egregious. It probably exists somewhere else on the internet, but I do not want that on Fimfiction with my author tag on it
And yeah, I like seeing "behind the curtain" too! It's kinda like a commentary track for a movie, except for a fanfic. Hopefully people are enjoying it.
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Ponies and Cage was a big meme, it's all innocent, I promise.
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It definitely had some gems, that's why I decided to still add some quotes. And really, upvoted! Very interesting.
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Feel for me in which aspect, cringing at something vile I published or cringing at plot choices I made in the past?
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Regretting past choices. I've definitely been there ^^;
You don’t have to! He’s Sonance! He is sound!
Props on Celestia being born with a cutie mark. I’ve used the same thing, but then I bet it’s not that rare, even though I can’t remember reading any other stories that used it.
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And thanks! I'm not certain what made decide on having her be born already with the cutie mark, but I think if there's any character(s) that should happen to, it's probably Celestia and Luna. They ain't the average pony
Obviously, I still approve of this idea.
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Totally forgot to add this in my last reply but goddamn, THE Wanderer D. Good to see you still kickin around here. Hopefully I haven't missed anything too fun on the mod side since... 2017!
I find it fascinating, to see a writer's thoughts laid out like this. We're really rather peculiar things, aren't we?
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The inner machinations of my mind are an enigma.
Also, good to see you still here!