Hi this is my fic if you see things that are not kid safe please tell me I try to keep my stuff pretty G Rated but if there's bad stuff I didn't see I will fix it
This is a story about the time an evil guy named Brony made a bad Rainbow Dash clone but don't worry I am sure nice stuff will happen in it too maybe I will add some kittens.
It was a beautiful sunny day, and the birds were singing happily. But a rainbow-maned little pony did not hold such beauty and joy in her heart that day.
“I got rejected AGAIN!” shouted Rainbow Dash, burying her little blue face in her hooves. “This is the worst possible THING!”
“Oh Darling, it’s not so bad as that!” Rarity tried to comfort her, avoiding the mud puddles that Rainbow Dash was creating with her waterfall of tears.
“You don’t understand! None of you do!” Rainbow Dash’s voice broke with the terrible agony.
“We understand!” Pinkie Pie tried to reassure her, bouncing around in the mud puddles with rainboots on. “We might not want to be Wonderbolts ourselves, but—“
“And that’s just what you don’t understand!” Rainbow Dash had stopped crying and took to the air, flying until she was face-to-face with Pinkie. “None of you do!”
“Oh Rainbow Dash, don’t—“ Fluttershy had no chance to finish, Rainbow Dash was yelling at all of them.
“WELL YOU DO NOT! YOU! Egghead! You just read books all day and you already go to be Celestia’s priiiize student.”
“I don’t see what this has to…” Twilight began before she was interrupted.
“And YOU! Applejack, you won all those prizes at the rodeo!”
Applejack lowered her head. “Second prizes,” she mumbled softly.
“You got the attention of Hoity Toity, Miss Fashion-is-better-than-everything! You…well you two never seem to want anything anyway!” It was obvious that Rainbow Dash could not think of insults for Pinkie and Fluttershy.
“Now hold on! You performed that Sonic Rainboom, and earned the respect of everyone. And saved Rarity! Besides, just because you did not get what you wanted today, doesn’t mean you gotta take it out on us!” Applejack stomped her hoof.
Dash stared at her friends before flying off really fast in the opposite direction.
“Oh dear, I hope she’ll be okay,” Fluttershy said in a worried tone.
“We can throw her a party when she gets back!” Pinkie shouted.
Rainbow Dash flew a long time before she flopped on a cloud and had to catch her breath. Maybe Applejack was right, but how could she face them now? True, her friends would love her if she were a Wonderbolt or if her wings fell off and she could never fly again. But she wanted it so badly.
“Trouble, my dear?” said a voice from overhead.
“What? Who said that? Who’s there?” Rainbow Dash rolled around and lay on her back, staring up. All she could see was a storm cloud.
“Just a concerned, nice guy. Call me a Brony. Perhaps I can help you. You want to be in the Wonderbolts, yes?”
“More than anything!” Rainbow Dash sat up. “Why, do you know them? Can you get me in?”
“You might be able to say that!” said the voice.
“YES! PLEASE DO! PLEASE…” and suddenly bars shot up through the clouds, creating a cage around the pony. “What the…what’s going on?”
“Oh you’ll get your wish all right! And I will get mine! ALL of mine!” This was followed by so many evil laughs that Rainbow Dash wanted to tell him to shut up but he was laughing so loud she couldn't.
The next day Pinkie Pie was tired because she was throwing a party for a really long time because she hoped Rainbow Dash would return and would get a party and be happy. She had all he friends there before but they got tired and went away. Twilight said she didn’t want Spike up too late so she left first and brought him. Rarity had some dresses to make because she needed to make a lot of dresses soon for something. And Applejack had to kick a bunch of apple trees and Fluttershy had to fix some baby bunnies that broke their legs (DO NOT WORRY THE BUNNIES ARE FINE NOW) but Gilda appeared and was there now because she heard Dash was sad and was worried about her.
“Well if she doesn’t appear I will have to go home soon because I have to do stuff.” Gilda told Pinkie but there was a crash and Rainbow Dash was there!
“RAINBOW DASH I HOPE YOU ARE OKAY!” yelled Pinkie Pie.
“Of course I am fine I am 20% cooler than everyone, right?” Rainbow dash shook off some punch that had fallen on her and it got all over Pinkie who didn’t mind and Gilda who was kind of mad but didn’t decide to act too mad in case Rainbow Dash was still upset.
Rainbow Dash stood and looked sparkly somehow and said “Well, there’s a party for me! Hurray! It’s because I’m awesome but where is everyone.”
“They got tired and left,” Pinkie said. “Maybe we can—“
“WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!! HOW DARE THEY GO AWAY I WILL GET THEM BACK AND BRING THEM TO THIS PARTY!!!!!!!!!” Rainbow Dash yelled and flew out of the building.
“Wow, that was actually rather uncalled for,” Gilda said, as Pinkie brought her a towel. “She’s in a strange mood.”
“Don’t worry. I’m sure she’ll come around!” Pinkie bounced around cleaning stuff up. “She’s just upset!”
**
Rainbow Dash WAS upset of course—because that wasn’t Rainbow Dash! It was an evil copy of her and the real Rainbow Dash was in a cage in a cave that was owned by Brony. Brony, as it turned out, was an Alicorn that had bright patterns all over him. He was garish, even by Rainbow Dash’s standards.
“You won’t get away with this!” Dash shouted, slamming her hooves against the cage. “My friends will know that’s not me and will come and get me and we will probably smash you with the Elements of Harmony!”
“No you WON’T” Brony said, glaring at Rainbow Dash. “My puppet will fool anyone because I know anything better than anyone and it will be okay. It is also faster than you.” Brony laughed evilly for a really long time again and Rainbow Dash covered her ears because it was annoying.
**
“We are sorry we weren’t at your party at first” Twilight said to Rainbow Dash after the party was over.
“It’s okay because I got you all to come to the party eventually and everyone had fun because the party was about me,” Rainbow Dash said.
“So um, are you feeling better?” Fluttershy asked because she was scared Dash wasn’t.
“Of course!” Dash flew above in circles. “The Wonderbolts will accept me eventually!”
The next day Rainbow Dash wanted a pet out of nowhere so Fluttershy brought her to her cottage and said “There are a lot of pets here have a kitten!”
Rainbow Dash didn’t really want a kitten so she sang a really long song with Fluttershy and then decided to race a bunch of pets. A falcon won but she chose a tortoise because it saved her from a rock that tried to kill her. At least, that’s what she told her friends.
“I guess I don’t really NEED a pet,” she said, staring at the tortoise, “ But you’ll do because tortoises don’t interfere with evil plans much! Plus it will trick them into thinking I’m nice. Which I am I guess because Rainbow Dash is aweeeeeeeeeeeeesoooooooooooooooooooooooooome!” She rode the tortoise back even though he was really slow and not fast like her.
The next day she was lying on a cloud and a kid got stuck in a well. “I must save the kid because it makes me cool” she thought and saved the kid and everyone liked her. The praise fed her ego, which is what puppets of Brony need to survive by the way because it feeds Brony’s ego, sorry for not including that. Anyway, she got a lot of praise until her friends shut her up by dressing up as her. Luckily she already had enough ego to feed off of. But it made her more of a jerk.
Then it was Spike’s birthday. Somehow he got huge and squashed things and Rainbow Dash was a bit jealous because she wanted to squash things so she tried to take him down. He got himself down by staring at a gem. Rarity kissed him on the cheek in a kind fashion and went home but Rainbow Dash followed her.
“So! You’re an item now?” Rainbow Dash asked with a grin.
“Whatever do you mean?” Rarity was confused. It wasn’t like she was a toy pony.
“You KNOW” Dash said in a mad voice.
“I really don’t. So you’ll have to explain it.” Rarity said in her Rarity voice (that means elegant)
“You and SPIKE!” Rainbow Dash yelled so loudly some birds flew away from a tree.
“What? Oh no! He’s just a sweet little boy.” Rarity was surprised.
“How do you know that?” Rainbow Dash demanded.
“…because he’s nice?” Rarity didn’t know what Rainbow Dash was talking about.
“OF COURSE he’s a nice guy that’s why you should DATE him!”
“No, he’s too young!” Rarity looked indignant and got a hat that made her look more indignant for the purpose of amplifying her emotion.
“How do you KNOW how old he is? He never TOLD you! He’s probably OUR age! He’s more mature than Pinkie Pie! You should date him!” Ranbow Dash made a thundercloud appear and jumped on it to yell some more.
“I don’t know what’s gotten into you, but I’m going home. I do not wish to have such silly conversations in the future!” Rarity went inside and closed her door.
“FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINE!” yelled Rainbow Dash so loudly the door fell off and Rarity had to put it back on with magic.
The next day Rarity tried to talk to Twilight about Rainbow Dash’s mean behaviour but Twilight was too busy reading a lot of books to listen.
“But she told me to date Spike!” Rarity protested.
“Spike probably put her up to it” Twilight said into a book.
“Okay” Rarity said and went to the spa because she liked to do that.
MEANWHILE the real Rainbow Dash and not the fake one was still in a cage. She was fed some nice fresh carrots so she wouldn’t die.
“WHY are you doing this?” Rainbow Dash asked with carrots in her mouth.
“I have to spread my ideas! This land needs to bow to ME!” Brony said.
“But why make a puppet of me?”
“Because if I do and get the wonderbolts on my side I can take over Equestria and make things go MY way!” Brony laughed evilly but stopped this time because he was getting tired of lauging evilly.
“But…why not make a Wonderbolt puppet? Why even let me live? I mean, I appreciate that! But—“
“STOP ASKING QUESTIONS OR I WILL GIVE YOU SOME BAD TASTING CARROTS!” Brony yelled.
Bubblecup was playing with a thundercloud because Rainbow Dash tripled dared her to. But a bunch of stuff on the town hall broke.
“CAREFUL, Derpy!” rainbow Dash said annoyed.
“I just don’t know what went wrong!” Bubblecup was too startled by being called “Derpy” to know what else to say. Everyone knew her name was Bubblecup. Her parents would not name her a mean name. What was with Rainbow Dash?
“Nice job, Rainbow Dash!” Bubblecup finally said, hoping that if she was nice to Raibow Dash then Dash wouldn’t call her mean names again. But some stuff broke instead.
Later Bubblecup was going to tell Twilight what happened but she was gone to look for Applejack who ran away for some reason. So Bubblecup rebuilt the town hall all by herself instead because she’s cool like that.
Rainbow Dash ended up in the hospital because she wasn’t looking where she was going. She tried to tell everyone she hated reading.
MeANWHILE at the cave Real Rainbow Dash was mad at Brony because she didn’t like how cruel Fakebow Dash was being. She could see everything she said or did through a crystal ball monitor. “I would never call Bubblecup ‘Derpy!’” Rainbow Dash told Brony.
“SHUT UP! IT’s a GREAT NAME and I do not know why PEOPLE GET MAD OVER it because it’s GOOD BECAUSE I SAY IT’S GOOD” BRony yelled and yelled and yelled and yelled until his voice stopped so he got a typewriter and wrote out angry letters to Rainbow Dash in capslock but she ignored them.
A few days later Spike was sick so Twilight wasn’t sure what to do with him. Rainbow Dash decided to prank him and Twilight got mad. “You shouldn’t be doing that! He’s not feeling well!” She said.
“He’s probably just lovesick for Rarity. I told her to date him but she didn’t and now Spike is going to die!” Rainbow Dash said.
“I’m going to DIE?!” Spike was scared.
“NO! You’ve probably just got some sort of bug. Maybe Zecora will have some ideas, since she’s the only one around who is a good dragon doctor. Anyway, don’t worry about Rarity or whatever. Rainbow Dash go away I will talk to you later but don’t fill Spike’s head with garbage it isn’t nice!” Twilight started to leave for Zecora and asked Big Macintosh to watch Spike because he was there but was being quiet because he doesn’t talk much .
“FINNNNNNE WHATEVR” Rainbow Dash flew away and decided to bug the mayor instead.
Mayor Mare as she was often nicknamed because she thought it was more badass if she didn’t have a name was writing some town stuff on paper.
“MAYOR! There is a huge emergency,” Rainbow Dash said through the window in a disguised voice so the mayor wouldn’t know it was her.
Mayor Mare ran outside and saw no emergency.
“What is going on? There isn’t an emergency!” the mayor was mad.
“Fluttershy pulled a prank on you!” Rainbow Dash said and flew away. The mayor believed her so Fluttershy was put in a pony jail until she got a trial (NEXT CHAPTER!!!!!!!!!!!)
Fluttershy was on a trial for something she didn’t do but Rainbow Dash did but it wasn’t really Rainbow Dash it was a bad Rainbow Dash clone. Hoity Toity, Princess Luna, Sapphire Shores, Fleur-de-Lys, Philomena, and Caramel were the jury. The judge was someone named Judge Awesomepony. “SHE WAS THE GUILTY!” Rainbow Dash said because she was a witness even though the crime was really committed by her and not Fluttershy. “So you’re saying you saw her do this?” asked the lawyer who was Pokey Pierce. “Yes! She just looks cute and innocent but she really commits a whole lot of crimes,” Rainbow Dash said. “Really? What sort of crimes?” Pokey asked. “She probably steals stuff because she acts so nice and innocent and—“
“STOP!” yelled Cheerilee, running through the door.
“NO! IT WAS FLUTTERSHY AND NOT ME!” Rainbow Dash yelled.
“It was so you! I saw you do so.” Cheerilee said, catching her breath. “You told the mayor it was Fluttershy but it was you! I would have said something before but I had to go stop Snips and Snails from bringing over a lot of bears to Ponyville. You know how kids are!”
Judge Awesomepony asked the jury what they thought and they said Rainbwo Dash was guilty so she was put in pony jail and Fluttershy was free.
MEANWHILE in a cave in a cage the real Rainbow Dash was happy because she didn’t like fake Rainbow Dash. Besides, it served her right for being in a kind of cage because real Rainbow Dash was in a cage so much.
“Does that interfere with your plans?” Rainbow Dash asked Brony.
“No, not really. She will probably be let out soon and then she can go to the Wonderbolts and be a Wonderblot.” Brony replied. He was busy drawing extra Cutie Marks on himself to make himself look cooler and glueing spikes to his hooves too.
“Darn. Oh well, now maybe the whole town will be suspicious.” Dash said.
“Or maybe your friends will help break ‘you’ out of jail,” Brony said. He was putting some fedoras on his head and putting on a long dark coat. Rainbow Dash wondered if he was planning on going anywhere which might make her chance to escape.
“My friends aren’t jail busters! The only one who might—oh, Celestia no!” Rainbow Dash surprised herself when she realized just who might try to break her out of jail.
“What?” Brony asked.
“Nothing. Are you going anywhere?” Rainbow Dash tried to change the subject.
“No, I just like looking badass,” Brony said. He was writing something down.
“Oh, what are you writing?” Rainbow Dash asked.
“Plans to make an evil Pinkie Pie!” Brony laughed and laughed in an evil way.
“CUTIE MARK CRUSADER JAIL BREAKERS!” shouted the Cutie Mark Crusaders, running towards the jail that held Rainbow Dash (the fake bad one). It had, of course been Scootaloo’s idea to rescue her hero out of the jail. After all, Rainbow Dash wouldn’t commit crimes, right?
“Hey kids! What’s up?” Rainbow Dash said from inside the cell.
“We’re going to rescue you, Rainbow Dash,” Scootaloo said cheerfully, waving a hoof eagerly.
“Excellent! It will probably give you a lot of Cutie Marks,” Rainbow Dash said.
Scootaloo brought out a saw and started sawing at the jail wall. But Sweetie Belle had other ideas. As in, she didn’t think that was a good idea.
“Uh, maybe we shouldn’t,” Sweetie Belle said.
“Oh don’t be such a wimp!” Scootaloo started sawing harder at the wall of the jail. Apple Bloom hesitated but decided to kick the jail. Sweetie Belle finally gave in and poked the wall. A hole appeared and Rainbow Dash flew away through it really fast.
“YAY!” shouted the kids.
“GIRLS!” yelled Cheerilee. “What ARE you doing? Wait until your parents hear of this!”
“NOOOO!” shouted the girls.
Back in the cave, Real Rainbow Dash said “OH no, that stupid kid. I knew they would do something like that. They should have listened to Sweetie Belle.”
“EXCELLENT! I hate those kids,” Brony said.
“What? Why? They’re just kids,” Rainbow Dash said.
“Because they’re annoying. I want them to stop being around.”
“That’s not very nice,” Rainbow Dash flew around in her cage but it was still no use because it was stuck shut with super alicorn magic.
“SHUT UP LOVE AND TOLERATE!” Brony yelled so loudly that his eyes changed colour fifty times.
“APPLE BLOOM.” Granny Smith said to the little filly. “I am ASHAMED of you. You should know better then to break someone from jail, and besides, do you really want a jail breaker cutie mark?”
“No. I’m sorry. I’d rather have a cutie mark for something nice like making cupcakes or building robots,” Apple Bloom said.
“Well, you’re grounded,” Granny Smith said.
“Understood.” Apple Bloom went to her room. She looked out the window and saw Rainbow Dash lauging evilly on a cloud and then flew away really quickly.
“Why did I do this? Why is she being evil?” Apple Bloom wondered.
“WELL I NEVER.” Rarity paced around in front of Sweetie Belle.
“Well, she’s your friend and…”
“And WHAT? I don’t know why, but she did commit a crime. And you don’t break people out of jail. Besides, she would have been released in a couple of hours.” Rairty said sharply.
“Sorry,” Sweetie Belle said. There was a pause and she added “But why did she do it?”
“I don’t know,” Rarity said. “We should ask Twilight, she knows stuff about things and maybe there’s an explanation for that rogue behaviour.”
“I heard she called Bubblecup ‘Derpy’ the other day,” Sweetie Belle said.
“What!? Really? Well, I hope YOU know better than that.” Rarity was flustered.
“Of course! It’s an insulting name and only someone with a cruel mind would say such a thing,” Sweetie Belle said. “Now lets’ go to the library!”
“I will go. YOU will stay here because you’re grounded,” Rarity said.
“TWILIGHT SPARKLE!” Rarity yelled, bursting through the door.
“Rarity! Spike is sick! Please keep it down,” Twilight said annoyed.
“Oh dear, I’m sorry. Is he going to be okay?” Rarity spoke in a whisper.
“Yes. Zecora made some medicine…turns out the little guy ate too many gems. He will be fine. It’s a bit of a tummy ache, and a bit of sickness that happens to come with eating too many gems. I never heard of it, but Zecora had it in a dragon book. I’m glad I didn’t take him to that incompetent pediatrician who told me he was a dragon. Now what did you want? You sounded scared.” Twilight approached Rarity briskly.
“Well, Sweetie Belle…” Rarity trailed off as Spike crawled slowly down the stairs.
“Spike! I thought I told you to stay in bed.” Twilight scolded, gently picking him up.
“But I wanted to see Rarity! She sounded scared and I want to save her from whatever it is!” Spike protested weakly.
“Spike,” Rarity said, trying to hide her amusement behind her hoof, “it’s okay. Twilight can help me with this situation. It’s adorable that you want to be a little knight in shining armour, but you’re sick and besides, this is a problem we adults need to figure out. We’ll keep you posted, okay?”
“Okay,” Spike said, disappointed. But he was back asleep soon.
“So what about Sweetie Belle?” Twilight asked after she returned to Rarity.
“Well, she…helped break Rainbow Dash out of jail.” Rarity started to say.
“What! That’s terrible!” Twilight was shocked.
“But that’s not the worst of it. I’m worried about Rainbow Dash. She’s been acting very…uncouth lately. Even by her standards.” Rarity was pacing around.
“Hmm. Pinkie said something about that, too. I was so busy studying…and then Spike got sick…” Twilight tapped her chin in thought. Just then there was a knock at the door.
“Oh hello, Zecora,” Twilight said pleasantly, opening the door. “Come on in.”
“Hello, Twilight, Rarity. I just brought some soothing tea for Spike. When he’s a little better, he can drink it. But I would recommend he not eat gems for a while. Maybe a week or so.” Zecora started to unpack the box of tea
“NOOOO!” shouted a voice. The three of them looked up, and there was a little green face poking over the edge where Twilight and Spike slept.
“Spike, I thought you were asleep,” Twilight said crossly.
“I wanted to see what was going on,” Spike responded sulkily. “Can you read me a bedtime story?”
“Oh, fine. Just a minute.” Twilight rolled her eyes. “I’ll be back down in a minute. Meanwhile, why don’t you tell Zecora what’s going on? Maybe she can help.” Twilight went up the stairs.
“Well, as it happens, Rainbow Dash has been acting very strange lately. She has been calling ponies names like ‘Derpy’. She also framed Fluttershy for a crime!” Rarity told Zecora.
“How unusual,” Zecora responded.
“Do you… I know you have a lot of books. But do you happen to have any books about ponies acting like jerks for no reason?” Rarity asked.
“No, but I wish I did. That Rainbow Dash came by a few days ago and demanded I speak in rhymes. I told her that was the result of a potion mishap, that only recently went away but she said it made me more mystical, I believe. She seemed rather angry when she flew off.” Zecora put the box of tea in the kitchen cabinet as she spoke. Rarity politely magicically opened the cabinet door for her.
“That Spike!” Twilight said, walking into the kitchen. “Look at the book he wanted me to read him!” She held up a book with a sinister-looking Alicorn on the cover. The title read ‘Brony: Why Ponies Act Like Jerks For No Reason.’ This is way too scary for a little dragon to…what are you staring at me like that for?”
Zecora and Rarity stared at her blankly. “Twilight,” Zecora said. “what is it with you and ignoring the answer all along?”
Twilight was reading from the book she had. “Okay, it says here ‘Brony is a chaotic Alicorn that causes trouble wherever he goes. He likes to make pony clones and trap the real pony in its place. He can see everything through the clone’s eyes and actions!”
“So…that wasn’t really Rainbow Dash we’ve been seeing?” Rarity asked.
“Maybe. ‘Brony has a strange chaotic order that makes no sense to any pony. He wants things his way and his way only. It’s been rumoured that he is rather callous and misogynistic, but says misogyny doesn’t exist.’ Ah—look at this picture!”
Twilight held up a picture of an Alicorn sitting on a throne. Several ponies were behind him in cages. His throne was full of spikes and skulls that Twilight couldn’t identify.
“What are those skulls?” Rarity asked.
“Well it says here that it’s been rumoured that Brony was originally a human, or possibly an accidental creation by humans.” Twilight continued to read. “Oh, the skulls are supposed to be based on humans, but they are fake. Humans are said to live in a world separate from ours.”
“What a strange thing to do.” Zecora said.
“It apparently is supposed to make him look more intimidating. ‘Brony believes himself to be a very intimidating, frightening pony. He likes to dress up in long coats, fedoras, and dark glasses, and laugh evilly. Although a lot of ponies find this very silly, his magic and manipulative ways are nothing to be laughing at.’”
Somewhere far away, Rainbow Dash (the fake one) was performing a lot of Sonic Rainbooms and flying very fast. Her performance was so impressive that she got what she wanted—she was in the Wonderbolts! She flew home after being given her uniform, knowing she would be probably getting a party from Pinkie.
“That should be ME!” Rainbow Dash (the real one) protested from her cage.
“YES! Just as planned!” Brony yelled.
“Shut UP! I was supposed to be a Wonderbolt! I don’t want a rude, fake clone of me living MY dreams.” Rainbow Dash sulked.
“Ugh. Hey, how about I let you out. Would that make you feel better?” Brony said to Dash.
“Huh? Really? Wait, what’s the catch?” Rainbow Dash was suspicious.
“You go and make me a sandwich!” Brony laughed.
“That was not funny.” Rainbow Dash glared at him.
“Lighten up, it’s a joke. Anyway, I’m not letting you out. In fact, I’m going to make a Pinkie next so I’ll have to capture her,” Brony said, running out of the cave.
“Wait! No! Leave her alone!” Rainbow Dash called after him, waving her hoof out of the cage. But he didn’t hear her.
“PARTY PARTY PARTY!” Pinkie Pie was in full force, and so was the party. Everyone in Ponyville was there, even Spike, who was feeling somewhat better and was sitting in a corner, drinking some of the tea Zecora gave him.
“And when I stunned them, they just couldn’t speak.” Rainbow Dash, of course, was wearing her Wonderbolt costume. “They said it was the most stunning performance they’ve seen in ten years!”
“AWWWESOOOME!” shouted Snips and Snails, who were bouncing around Rainbow Dash’s feet.
“Yes, so awesome, naturally. And then Spitfire said…” Rainbow Dash continued to talk on, while Twilight held a conference with Pinkie Pie, Applejack, Rarity, and Fluttershy.
“Are you sure this will work?” Fluttershy asked nervously.
“I hope so.” Twilight responded.
“Oh, I should think so,” Rarity said. “I did make the costume after all. I don’t mean to brag, but I am an excellent seamstress.”
“Reckon you better be if we pull this one off. It’ll be a doozy. Twilight, you got the elements?” Applejack asked.
“Right here,” Twilight said, holding up a small box. “But we’ll bring them out when…”
Just then the door burst open and Discord was there.
“HAHAH I HAVE RETURNED!” Discord said menacingly, while the ponies gasped.
“Rainbow Dash!” Twilight said. “Quickly, wield your Element of Harmony!”
“What? Oh, right.” Rainbow Dash picked up the necklace. “Okay, let’s get this over with.
Twilight, Fluttershy, Rarity, Applejack and Pinkie Pie all floated and their elements glowed. But nothing happened with Rainbow Dash. The ponies crashed to the ground.
“Aha! Got you!” Pinkie Pie shouted.
“What? What’s going on?” Rainbow Dash backed up as the ponies started walking towards her.
“You’re not really Rainbow Dash, are you?” Twilight demanded.
“But..but Discord!” Rainbow Dash protested. But Discord glowed and it was a costume! In reality, Fleur-de-Lys had Bubblecup balanced on her shoulders and they were playing the part.
“All right then, what did you do with the real Rainbow Dash, Brony?” Applejack put her face right in front of Dash’s.
Jus then the ceiling glowed and floated away with a crash. The ponies looked up in shock to see the sinister alicorn known as Brony.
“HELLO PONYVILLE! I see you found my puppet. No matter! You will rule under Brony rule soon.” He said, cackling and making thunderclouds appear.
“Careful with that,” Bubblecup warned.
“Shut up, Derpy!” he said, glaring at her. “Derp more!”
“My name is Bubblecup, kind sir,” Bubblecup said, with sarcasm on the last two words.
“Nope! It’s Derpy because I say it is. You females are so sensitive.” Brony made more thunderclouds appear.
“Ladies, if you please.” Rarity said, glaring up at Brony. “Bubblecup is a lady. Ladies are ladies, not ‘females’” Rarity said in a tone that implied that Brony was being very uncouth.
“Oh now you’re worrying over nothing. You should just marry Spike and get it over with,” Brony said angrily.
“What? But he’s just a boy!” Rarity protested.
“I don’t wanna get married! At least not yet,” Spike said, standing up and huddling behind Twilight. “I have so many years ahead of me…bothering Twilight and stuff.”
“Spike,” Twilight said warningly.
“You MUST marry him! He is not a child, he’s about as mature as you.” Brony yelled.
“Well I NEVER. He is so obviously a child, do not tell me you are so obtuse—“
“HE IS A NICE GUY. You should marry him, because you females only care about jerks. You never had a guy be nice to you, right? NO! You only go after Blueblood,” Brony shouted.
“What? How did you know—never mind.” Rarity pawed the ground. “I know enough that Blueblood is not a gentleman, which is why I didn’t stay with him. But I also know that niceness is not enough to warrant marriage, and besides, Spike. Is. A. Child.” She stomped her hoof, emphasizing the obvious.
“You’re a gold digger,” Brony said. “Just like her!” he pointed to Fleur.
“Parodonne-moi?” Fleur was genuinely baffled.
“Snobby little unicorns, they care only about money and not nice guys. Don’t you know that men HATE being nice to women? That it’s VERY HARD when the women don’t return the affection?” Brony’s eyes flashed a whole bunch of different colours.
“Now hold on there!” Mr. Cake said, trying to help Rarity, who had been a faithful client for years, after all. “Are you saying that women are obligated to marry a man just for kindness? Well, I meet a lot of women in my business and I’m courteous to them…doesn’t mean they’re fixed to marry me!”
“By that logic, any male client I meet would have to marry me,” Mrs. Cake added.
“SHUT UP! It doesn’t work that way!” Brony shouted. “Women are cruel, callous creatures, except adorable, submissive ones like Fluttershy!”
“Now LISTEN HERE MISTER” Fluttershy flew upwards but Applejack held her back.
“You females are all alike. But you will never defeat me!” And with all the thunderclouds exploded and Brony flew away.
“After him!” Twilight shouted, for she had set up the balloon and given Fluttershy the harness.
“Not so fast!” Rainbow Dash said.
“Oh, put a sock in it!” Bubblecup produced a large stocking and put it over Rainbow Dash’s head. Rainbow Dash sputtered and flailed around on the floor. Her daughter, Dinky, rolled her eyes at the pun. Twilight and the rest of her friends went after Brony.
Brony arrived back at the cave. “Some bad stuff might be happening, but don’t worry, I am super powerful and I’m sure I can win this because I’m awesome.”
“No, you’re not. Believe me, I know all about ‘awesome’,” Rainbow Dash said, glaring at Brony. At that point Twilight, Fluttershy, Rarity, Applejack, and Pinkie Pie burst in. “Rainbow Dash, we’re here to rescue you!” Twilight said. The box containing the Elements of Harmony floated above her head.
“Yay! It’s you! I knew you’d come for me eventually! I hope my evil puppet clone didn’t hurt anyone. Oh, if she did!” Rainbow Dash pawed the ground at that thought.
“Oh, are those those stuuuupid elements?” Brony said in disgust. “PLEASE. I am way too powerful for those to get me!”
“We’ll see about that,” Twilight said, opening the box. “We put them back in so we wouldn’t lose them when flying in the ball---HEY!” Twilight realized that the box didn’t just hold the elements, but it also held a certain baby dragon who was curled up between them.
“Hi, Twilight,” Spike said sheepishly.
“Spike! This is way too dangerous for you!” Twilight scolded.
“The box seemed comfortable.” Spike explained.
“Oh! Did he eat the elements?” Pinkie asked.
“I’m not that stupid!” Spike protested. “Besides, Zecora said no gems for a while…hi Rainbow Dash! You’re the real one, right?”
“Sure am! Now I just need to get out of this cage.”
“Forget it! No magic or kicking it can break it. But go ahead and try!” Brony said.
The ponies tried magic and kicking the cage but it wouldn’t break.
“Seeeeeeee? Oh you are such weak little females!” Brony crowed.
“Shut UP!” Applejack said. “You’ve been such a pain in the—”
“Wait! Let me try,” Spike said. He bit the cage.
“Spike! Don’t break your teeth!” Twilight said, alarmed.
But Spike didn’t. He bit through the bars expertly, freeing Rainbow Dash. “My teeth are super sharp! They can bite through anything!” Spike said cheerfully.
“Thanks, little dude!” Rainbow Dash flew around. “Awwww yeah. It’s so nice to be free! Now! About those Elements of Harmony…”
The ponies gathered the Elements of Harmony and stood before Brony.
“Oh, fine!” Brony said. “But you are wasting your time!”
Sure enough, even with a bunch of fancy rainbows and stuff, the Elements didn’t harm Brony.
“HAHAHAH! SEE? I AM BRONY! BRO HOOF! BRONY CAN NOT BE DEFEATED BECAUSE LOVE AND TOLERATE!” Brony yelled really really loudly and the cave shook.
“What does that even mean?” Spike asked.
“Oh, what do we do now?” Fluttershy said in a panicky voice.
“Aww, so cuute,” Brony said, going over to Fluttershy. “Why don’t you be my wife? We can rule together! Well, I mean, I will be the ruler, but you can stay in the kitchen and cook and have kids.”
“NO!” Fluttershy said, glaring at Brony. “If I ever want to get married, and have kids, it will be with someone I love! I will probably continue caring for animals, but if I decide to change that for whatever reason, it will be MY choice, not a choice dictated to me. Understood?”
“Oh, whatever.” Brony rolled his eyes. He and Fluttershy continued to argue a little while, with Twilight observing them.
“This may be a long shot,” she said.
“Yes, Darling?” Rarity asked. “But you will notice how much contempt he has for… ‘females’ as he calls us. Shouldn’t someone like that be weak to anything considered ‘girly?’”
Pinkie bounced. "Pink! Like me?” she asked excitedly.
“Well maybe. I think we have most of those things with us,” Twilight said. “Fluttershy, get over here!”
The ponies dug through some of the things they brought with them in another box that was also in the balloon but I forgot to mention that OH NO. Sure enough, Pinkie had packed cupcakes, Rarity a hair pin and some makeup, as well as a hat.
“We don’t have any dolls, though. Or pink.” Twilight pointed out, because the cupcakes happened to be orange and white.
“I can take care of the pink!” Pinkie said cheerfully. She found a sharp rock and cut off a lock of her mane.
“Excellent! Now we just need a doll,” Twilight said, looking around.
“Oh, that’s right. Apple Bloom asked me to give this away. She said she was done with it,” Applejack said, pulling a small doll out of her hat.
“Oh, that’s convenient!” Twilight said. The ponies each took one of the Elements of Girly and threw them at Brony.
“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! GET THIS GIRLY STUFF AWAY PONIES ARE SUPPOSED TO BE MANLY!” Brony yelled, but disappeared when the girly stuff was thrown at him. He was gone! Hopefully forever! Meanwhile, fake Rainbow Dash dissolved into sparkles.
The next day, Luna and Celestia threw a huge party for the ponies (and Spike, for chomping on the cage). Everyone was super grateful and happy and lots and lots of good stuff happened for a long time after that.
