I'm a keen brony, as you would expect of a person writing on this site. Well, recently I went to Bronycon as Equestria Girls Apple Bloom, or a vague approximation of her. Next I know, I'm in America...but not one I know! And why is this blonde-haired woman calling me 'sugarcube?'
A Displaced story.
Sex tag for references to certain parts of the body.
Call me Tom. That’s as good a name as any. I often find that, when life gets totally crazy, I have a retreat, a way of...letting out, if you get what I mean. When life gets me down, I knew there was one place I could go that would always cheer me up.
OK, there was Sodor, but that was when I was a LOT younger than I am now. I still check out where Thomas and Friends is going, but I have to admit I’m not so keen on where the show is going as of BWBA. For me, the best CGI seasons were 17-21, with Legend of the Lost Treasure and Journey Beyond Sodor as real standout specials.
But I digress! The show that gave me happiness when the world had me down was My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic.
I discovered the show on Tiny Pop. OK, I have a little sister, and once had to babysit her. That was the night of October 10th, 2010, and I thought the show would be rubbish. Come on, thought 12-year old me, It’s freakin’ My Little Pony! That show’s for girls!
I was wrong. When they introduced the characters and the story got rolling, I was utterly hooked. I tuned in each and every week, slowly falling in love with each of the characters and enjoying their crazy and entertaining adventures.
There was one particular pony I adored. The little yellow Earth pony who was both stubborn, but had a heart of gold and had fun no matter what.
That’s right, Apple Bloom. She’s my all-time favourite. I associated with her because of the bullying she received, and yet she never gave up. I found it inspiring, because I had been a victim of bullying myself. It was such a powerful moment when she and her friends got their Cutie Marks.
After Season 3 concluded, I feared it would never be the same. But then Equestria Girls hit. Look, I know some bronies had that film franchise with a passion, but it really worked for me, being in school myself. I could associate with the girls more than I could with pastel-coloured ponies.
And when the CMC appeared, I just fell in love with Apple Bloom’s design. Those three got loads more to do as the years went on, although I would have preferred it if IDW hadn’t released Anon-a-Miss (I read it on the internet, in case you’re wondering).
The Canterlot Movie Club short and the subsequent Happily Ever After Party were some of my favourites.
Then the news hit that Bronycon would be held for the final time in 2019. I’d wanted to go for years, but I’d never been old enough to go on my own. So, in 2018, I asked to go.
“Mum,” I casually asked one day, “this year in July, Bronycon is being held. Can I go?”
She looked at me. “Is this about that pony show you watch?” She wasn’t opposed to me being a Brony, but at the same time, she thought it was a bit odd. “We’re supposed to be going to the Deep South this year!”
“That’s in August!” I protested. “Besides, the convention’s in Baltima-Baltimore!” I’d had a number of embarrassing slips in my time; my classmates were a little confused when my English project read The Knights of Canterlot. “Besides, I worked hard in my job this year!”
“That’s true,” my mum replied. “You can go, but on one condition!”
“Which is?”
She grinned. “You take Rebecca with you.”
Rebecca’s my sister. If she’d perceived that to be a threat, it didn’t work. “I’ve got no problem with that.”
“Wonderful! Let’s get the flights and tickets booked.” She smirked. “Then I can tell all your friends that you like ponies.”
I shrugged. “They already know, and they’re chill about it.”
Straight after I had booked, however, I had a phone call to make. It was time to contact an old friend of mine. Andrea was a girl I'd met on an exchange trip with a US school, and we had bonded over the fact we were bronies (well, I should say pegasister in her case).
"Hey Tom!" said the crackly American voice at the other end. "What's going on?"
"Hello Yank!" I said back, with a smile. "You going to BronyCon? I sure am!"
There was a laugh at the other end "I sure am, Limey. However, my Mom has insisted on coming with me."
"You've got it lucky. I've got to take Rebecca with me and-no, do not touch the Leman Russes!" I was a Warhammer 40,000 player, and understandably precious of my collection. "Sorry, I've gotta go before my sister trashes my Imperial Guard."
"See you soon!"
After a few days wait, the day finally came. We bid our parents farewell at Heathrow Airport, en route to Baltimore. We spent our time watching films, listening to music and the like. Mind, I did have to stop her bouncing up and down on the seats. The other passengers generally didn’t approve of that sort of thing.
As I relaxed, I thought about how much better life would be if the world followed the values of the Equestria. Friendship, love and tolerance (and rainbow lasers) would be ace. Imagine witnessing a Sonic Rainboom for real! I’d been stunned when I saw the movie in 3D and boy, was it incredible!
The flight finally touched down and we got our luggage. We had been booked into an airport hotel, but we weren’t too tired, so we went out to explore the sights of Baltimore. I got a lot out of the visit to the B&O Museum, which had been on my list for a while. My parents had been reluctant to go there.
“People get murdered there!” Mum said.
“We’re not going there!” Dad exclaimed.
Yeah, and yet they don’t think twice about going into London...
After a few days passed, the opening day of BronyCon 2018 was finally here. July 27th looked like it would be an amazing day. I got up, showered, and eventually managed to shove my sister through the shower as well. While she was in, I opened my case and looked at what I had been working on.
I had decided that I would cosplay whilst there, and had selected EG Apple Bloom as my character. It was mostly correct; green T-shirt, yellow boots, but I had switched the shorts out for jeans, not knowing how hot it would be.
I was also missing the most obvious thing...the bow. I had figured it would look odd, a chap of my age purchasing a bow of that sort. I also lacked red hair, but I’d tried.
Pulling it all on, I walked over to the mirror and smiled. “Howdy y’all!” I said, trying my best to do a Southern Accent. Unfortunately, it ended up sounding West Country.
I heard the bathroom door open behind me, and Rebecca stepped out.
“Wow!” she said. “You look great!”
“Aw, yer too kind,” I replied.
She laughed. “You also sound nothing like her!”
“Dangit!”
A few minutes later, we caught the bus to the Baltimore Convention Centre. It was long, and boring, so I pulled out my iPod and flicked on the Rainbow Rocks soundtrack.
When we arrived, we stepped out into the heat of the day, and proceeded up the path.
I then got roped into an impromptu rendition of Apples to the Core, which was interesting to say the least.
Inside, my jaw dropped. The space was huge! Stands were everywhere, and people were milling about, a lot of them in costume. The last time I had seen a space this big was the London Festival of Railway Modelling held at Alexandra Palace!
Somewhere in front of me, I saw Andrea. "Brilliant!" I called out to her, and she turned around to face me. I noticed she had a pseudo-Rainbow Dash cosplay on.
“Oh, hey Tom!” she called.
“Hi!” Rebecca added/
“Hi, Rebecca! How are you?” Andrea said smiling.
“I’m fine, thanks for asking. I’m having a really good time here! This place is awesome!” Rebecca said.
“Aww, you’re so cute!” Andrea said, giggling.
“You must be Mrs Parker!” I said to the older woman, presuming her to be Andrea's mother.
“Hi! You must be Tom. Andrea told us about you. She said you love My Little Pony as much as she does.”
“Yep! It’s kinda why we bonded.” I said.
“But she never told me you were kinda cute.” Olivia said, with a smirk that would rival Elaina Mash.
“Mom!” Andrea said, with a blush that would make a tomato ashamed.
“What? It’s true!” Olivia said, utterly oblivious to her daughter's embarrassment.
“A-anyway,” I said, stuttering, and with a blush on my face, “Me and Rebec- I mean, Rebecca and I will just be roaming around. Bye!” We then sped off into the crowd.
There was a band on stage, with a group of cosplayers launching into a spirited but not entirely in tune rendition of Shine like Rainbows.
As we walked on, I passed a cosplayer as Applejack. “Howdy, sugarcube!” she called.
“Thank ya!” I replied, as this alternate Cornish Apple Bloom. Then suddenly, a stand caught my eye.
It was a stand with the usual home-made merchandise which characterises these sorts of events. I sort of knew what to expect, having gone to the California State Fair in Sacramento 3 years earlier, and browsed some of the stalls.
One thing, however, caught my eye. It was a reproduction of Apple Bloom’s bow! I wandered over to take a look, and saw the label on it read ‘series reproduction’.
“Well, what brings an Apple my way?” asked the store-holder, a woman in her mid 20s.
“Well,” I began, “I saw the reproduction of Apple Bloom’s bow there, and was intrigued.”
“It’s yours for $10 if you want it.”
That’s cheap, I thought. I should have realised then and there something was up. But I was a fool, and I fell straight for it. “Well, thank you!”
She accepted the bill. “Have a nice day,” she said.
Rebecca looked up at me. “Well?” she asked. “Are you going to try it on?”
I unclipped the bow, ran it through the back of my hair, and clipped it back on. There it was at last, my costume complete.
“Argh!” I suddenly felt a pulse of energy through my body. Then stomach cramps hit.
“Tom!” Rebecca cried. “Are you OK?”
“I’m gonna be sick,” I replied. “Stay here, and wait till Ah get back.”
I then sprinted off in the direction of the nearest restroom, unaware my life was about to be turned upside down.
I sped down the corridor towards the Gents, the cramps getting worse as I ran along. I slammed into somebody as I ran past.
“Hey, watch it, redhead!” she shouted.
“Sorry!” I shouted back. Then I realised what she had said. Redhead? That isn’t right, my hair’s brown!
Thankfully, the restrooms were just up ahead, so I barrelled into the cubicle. Oddly, I noticed it was only Disabled ones here. This was not surprising; after all, Warhammer World in Nottingham has a similar setup!
As I turned to shut the door, I must’ve skidded, and my left boot came flying off. It sailed through the air and crashed into the wall. But that shouldn’t have happened, as that boot fit me a moment ago.
I walked over to retrieve it, only to suddenly notice the other boot was loose as well. A sock hung off my exposed foot, clearly now several sizes too big.
“What’s goin’ on?” I asked. To my horror, I now had a Southern accent, and not only that, my voice was rising in pitch! I’d read stories on FimFiction about conventiongoers changing into ponies they were cosplaying, but I’d no idea it was actually possible.
As if to compound my sense of fear, the world suddenly started getting larger all around me. Except the world wasn’t getting larger at all; I was getting smaller! But surely, losing height is impossible. I pulled my jeans back up and tightened my belt to try and hold them on, and held myself up on the wash basin to see what was going on.
Right before my eyes, I could see my eyes had changed colour, from brown to red. They weren’t the only thing that had turned red either. My previously short hair was now red, with a fringe hanging over my forehead, and even as I watched the back started growing longer, until it reached my shoulders. This even applied to my eyebrows!
Oh fuck! I thought. I dreaded losing my humanity at this rate, as my skin changed colour from light tan to yellow. Excruciating pain shot through my face as the bones rearranged, giving the appearance of a pre-teen girl. But to my surprise, no muzzle appeared.
I knew what was coming next, but dreaded it nonetheless. I was suddenly aware of a tingling sensation in my chest, and as I looked down two lumps began to push outward, stopping a few seconds later. Yep, I now had breasts. Not huge ones, but still enough to make it clear I was...female.
But ponies don’t have those on their chests, those are between their legs. It then became apparent I wasn’t changing into a pony at all.
Oh God, I’m turning into EG Apple Bloom! I panicked.
I felt a sudden pain between my legs as I lost my manhood, officially rendering me female. My already shorter limbs changed again, as my feet shrank further, followed by my hands becoming smaller and shorter, with thin fingers and thumb.
I collapsed onto the floor, utterly shocked by what had just happened. There I was, this near-naked little girl in a bathroom, stuck here far from home.
But the transformation wasn’t over. It wasn’t even half done.
I got an odd feeling in my hair, and I felt the bow shrink in size to match my smaller size. The same happened to my shirt, which changed slightly as it did so. My jeans shrank in size, which also affected the belt as it suddenly fitted around my waist perfectly.
The boots and socks shrank as well, not surprisingly changing as they did so.
“Err...is it over?” I asked. I stopped. My voice was now exactly identical to Apple Bloom’s. Not an impersonation. Not a vague soundalike. Exactly identical.
Venturing to pull myself up, I grabbed the sink and looked into the mirror.
The face of my favourite character looked back. I guessed I was now about 12 years old, and looked like one of those incredibly dedicated cosplayers, for which I sadly couldn’t devote the money or time. But every detail was perfect.
Apart from the jeans, my clothing was an exact reproduction of Apple Bloom’s outfit as seen in the Equestria Girls films. It was better than my efforts at cosplaying, trust me!
My boots had gained a square-and-triangle pattern, and shoulders on my shirt were slightly pronounced. There wasn’t much to say about the belt, and I didn’t dare take my jeans off to see what was under them.
I had no idea how to react. One the one hand, I was utterly terrified as I had completely lost my old identity. But, on the other hand, I was now my favourite character!
“Well,” I said. “Ah better make the best of it.” I stepped over to the door, and promptly slipped. My face went into the door handle.
“Ow!” I cried. I tried to swear, but the most I could get out is “dangit!” This is crazy! Not only did I look like her, I spoke like her as well, including her mannerisms!
I pushed myself back, and tried again. My hand stopped on the door handle. Could I really go out there? There was no telling how anybody would react if a life-size Apple Bloom was wandering around BronyCon!
There was a knock at the door. "Are you done in there?”
“Sorry sir! Ah’m almost done!”
I then remembered the words that the Apples sang in the song I’d joined in just a few hours ago.
“We’re Apples forever,
Apples together,
Fam’ly but so much more!
And no matter what comes,
We will face the weather;
We’re Apples to the core!
I took a deep breath, and opened the door, stepping out into the corridor.
The gent looked in surprise. “A-Apple Bloom?” he asked.
I reacted in the only way I could. “Howdy!”
He laughed. “That must be one of the best Cosplays I have ever seen. And you’ve even got her accent down perfectly!”
I laughed. “Thank ya, sir.”
He then went into the cubicle, and shut the door.
I sighed with relief. “Well, that coulda gone worse.”
I headed off toward the main hall, as I had to find Rebecca and check she was OK.
As I rounded the bend into the hall, I ran into another crowd and knocked somebody over.
“Ah’m so sorry!” I exclaimed, as I extended a hand to help them up. It was only then I realised who I’d knocked over.
Michelle Creber. She looked utterly confused, but soon ran with it. “Well, howdy partner!” she said, switching into full Apple Bloom mode. “How are ya?”
Thus started one of the most baffling exchanges I have ever been involved in; Apple Bloom talks to Apple Bloom.
“Ah’m fine thank ya!” I replied.
“Well,” Creber answered, “That’s fine ta hear. Ah was wondrin’ if you’ve seen Scootaloo or Sweetie Belle anywhere? I ain’t seen them.”
“Which ones?”
“Either of them!”
This exchange went on for many minutes, and I’m certain somebody filmed it. But then, I saw Rebecca browsing another stand.
“Sorry, gotta dash!” I said, running past her and skidding as I did so. I still wasn’t used to my redistributed body weight and altered musculature, and took a number of tight turns. “Rebecca!” I shouted.
She glanced over, and gasped. “By Celestia, it’s Apple Bloom!” she cried.
I dropped down onto my knees and spoke to her. “It ain’t Apple Bloom, it’s me, Tom!” I cried. “Ah have no idea how this happened, but Ah somehow look like her!”
Rebecca just looked confused. “You don’t look or sound a thing like my brother.”
“Please!” I begged. “You gotta believe me! Ah need help for this!”
She just shook her head. “I don’t believe this. If you’ll excuse me, I need to go find my brother.” She walked away into the crowd.
My heart shattered. My own sister had just rejected me. Sobs escaped from my throat, as I jumped to my feet and ran in the opposite direction toward the door.
I ran past a pair of Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle cosplayers. “Hey, are you OK?” one of them asked.
I simply ignored them and ran onwards.
After running for a few minutes, I simply dropped and leaned against a wall. I couldn’t hold it in any longer. The floodgates opened, and tears rolled down my face at what had happened.
“Why me?” I whispered, as I sobbed uncontrollably. “What did Ah do to deserve this? Now mah own sister don’t recognise me!”
I looked a mess when I was done, but eventually a voice interrupted my sorrows.
“Oh, look at you, without a family,” she said.
I looked up, into the face of the merchant who had sold me that bow. My sorrow was replaced with anger.
“You did this ta me!” I shouted.
“I only gave you what you wanted,” she replied. “I knew in your heart you wanted to be Apple Bloom, living that idyllic life at Sweet Apple Acres.”
“MAH OWN FAMILY HAS REJECTED ME!” I screamed, a mixture of anger and pain welling up.
“This family may have,” she said, “but where you’re going, you will be loved.”
“Wha-?” was all I managed to get out, before a door slammed in my face, and everything went black.
I could vaguely hear a voice in my right ear as I come to. There was a smell of disinfectant in the air, and the room looked vaguely clinical. There was light pouring in from behind me, falling onto my chest as I opened my eyes.
I suddenly realised I was lying on a bed, and that I had a splitting headache. I found myself looking into the eyes of Nurse Redheart.
Wait, what? She’s a fictional character; there’s no way she could be here!
Unless...
Oh No.
“How are you feeling?” Nurse Redheart asked.
I just wanted to scream, how could this happen to me? That stupid bow has royally fucked my life over. Now I was stuck in the Equestria Girls world, with little idea of what I was doing.
Pushing those thoughts aside for a moment, I answered. “Like Ah got hit by a lorry. In the face.”
Redheart looked a little puzzled. “Odd choice of vocabulary for you, but you must have been hit hard. Somebody slammed a door in your face, and it knocked you out.”
“How long was Ah out for?”
Redheart consulted her journal. “About 5 minutes. Pip brought you in, and he stayed until you woke up.”
I looked over to the chair nearby, and saw Pipsqueak sitting there, an adorable boy with brown eyes and-
What the hell am I thinking? I’m only supposed to have those feelings for girls!
Had this transformation changed my sexuality as well?
Pip spoke up. “Are you OK, Bloom?”
I nodded, slowly. “Feelin’ fine, Ah suppose. Where are Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle?”
As if to answer that question, the two girls burst through the door.
“Apple Bloom, are you OK?” asked Scootaloo.
“Yeah, we only just heard!” Sweetie Belle added.
“Ah’m fine, girls,” I replied. Of course, I wasn’t. I simply wanted to burst into tears. My old life was gone. Forever. Now I’d be stuck as a cartoon character until my body wore out.
I couldn’t add anything else, however, as the two girls came over and hugged me tightly. I returned in kind for their benefit.
I decided to keep the charade up as long as I could, in the hope that by the time my cover was blown, I’d found a way to get out of here.
But my thoughts were again interrupted by another person stepping through the door. Applejack walked over to me and placed her hand on my forehead.
“Are ya alright, sugarcube?” she asked. It was surreal, seeing this character I’d only known on the other side of a TV screen speaking right in front of my eyes.
“Ah think Ah’m OK,” I replied. “Can Ah return to lessons, Nurse Redheart?”
The nurse smiled. “Of course you can.”
Scootaloo shook her head. “Man, that blow must’ve messed with her memory.”
Sweetie Belle nodded. “I can’t think of anyone who wants to go to Mrs Harshvoice’s English class.”
I gulped. I’d read enough fanfiction to know that she was horrible, but to actually be in a room with her? Good God, that sounded awful.
I hopped up onto my feet, and shouldered my bag. “Well, Ah gotta go sometime, so might as well get it over with.” I headed off down the corridor.
“Other way!” Applejack called.
I immediately reversed direction, walking down the corridor now filled with other students. Most of them were at least a head taller than myself and as a result I got knocked about with impunity.
It was like being a dwarf lost in a sea of giants, knocked about by tidal currents called students.
On my way however, I did spot a poster, which read:
Sign up for Fall Formal Princess (10th Grade and above only)!
Do you think you have what it takes to be voted Number One by students?
Then go ahead, and place your name on the ballot!
Voting closes on the last day of this Half-Term!
OK, so at least I knew when this was. I was straight before the events of the first film, which meant the fun stuff was yet to happen. But I had to be careful. Even If I knew what was coming, my fellow students didn’t!
Just then, the bell went. A long, loud ringing that was extremely irritating. But it set off another memory in my mind.
I sped down the corridor, with Fireman Sam going round and round in my head.
Just as I reached the relevant door mentioned in my planner, I threw it open, and immediately the smile of nostalgia fell from my face.
Mrs. Harshvoice stood there, a woman in a white shirt and purple blazer with purple suit trousers. She had a look of disapproval chiselled into her face as if it were made of granite. Her eyes bored into mine like drills, as if my simple presence was horrifying to her.
“And what late hour do you arrive at?” she asked. “Students, please bid Miss Bloom good evening.”
“Good evening Miss Bloom,” they chorused one and all, all at once which was a little creepy. Amongst them were the faces of Snips and Snails, grinning like idiots at this idea.
That stopped promptly. “Whatever are you smiling about?” Mrs. Harshvoice boomed. The sound of her voice echoed off the walls and rolled around the room like a tidal wave of annoyance. She then looked back to me. “Well?”
“Ah’m sorry, ma’am,” I replied. “Walked into a door and needed to get help from the nurse.”
The teacher shook her head. “Please do perambulate more carefully next time. And I believe you will find it is ‘I’m sorry’, not whatever country nonsense you just spouted at me.”
Good Lord, she really was awful. This felt strangely familiar, but I couldn’t put a finger on it.
Anyway, I walked over to the desk that had my name on it, sat down, and took out the books. My heart sank.
It was a Literature class, and we were working on...something I’d never heard of before. Something to do with a whale.
Proceedings got rolling, and rapidly settled into tedium as we went over every conceivable meaning of the first 3 sentences.
“The Isles of the Manhattoes...”
I mean, seriously, who even talks like that? I began to drift off, completely and utterly bored. Who on earth thought this was appropriate for a group of 7th Graders?
I only became aware that I had missed something when I heard the Dragon loudly boom, “Apple Bloom!”
I shot up. “Somethin’ the matter?”
She shook her head. “Well, the grammar was atrocious. But can you tell us the meaning of this sentence?”
I shuddered in fear at the one given. It was utterly incomprehensible, so much so I won’t rewrite it here. But I got around this by spouting some vaguely plausible and pretentious twaddle.
The teacher nodded. “I see.”
A loud ringing distracted us.
“Well, that’s all for today,” Mrs. Harshvoice told us. “Don’t forget your book report is due in next week!”
I gulped. Book report? Please let other Apple Bloom have started it!
I emerged into the corridor again, glancing around, seeing Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle join me.
“Uggh!” groaned Scootaloo. “That history lesson was so boring!”
“Not even Mr Turner can make the history of shoes interesting,” Sweetie Belle admitted.
“I disagree,” said another voice.
There, behind us, was Rarity.
“I think shoes are most fascinating, and worthy of days of study!”
Scootaloo simply facepalmed. “Missing the point entirely!”
Sweetie Belle nodded. “As in, ‘it shouldn’t be on the syllabus’ kind of missing the point?”
After a few more hours of lessons, it was finally time to end the day. I walked through the corridor when I heard Applejack call me.
“You feelin’ OK, sugarcube?”
I looked back. “No,” I replied.
Applejack’s face changed into a frown. “Whatever for?”
I sighed. “Ya see, Mrs. Harshvoice-”
“She givin’ ya grief over yer accent again?”
I simply nodded.
Applejack put her hand on my shoulder. “Remember this,” she said. “Be proud of who ya are. Yer an Apple, and that means a lot. And don’t mind what other’s think about who ya speak; be who you are, and be it with pride!”
I smiled. “Thanks, sis.” Wait, what? Argh, this is messing with my head!
Applejack smiled back. “Well, let’s go. Pa’s picking us up from the lot.”
We walked out the front of the school, looking around.
“Where’s the truck?” I asked.
Applejack frowned. “Ah heard somethin’ about it havin’ mechanical issues.”
As the last of the whistle continued to echo, Big Mac joined us, followed by Granny Smith. It had completely crossed my mind that she worked in the cafeteria, but that thought was promptly put onto the back burner as she spoke to me.
“You OK, Youngin’?” she asked.
“Yeah,” I nodded. “Headache’s gone.”
Applejack added something else. “She seems to have got most of her faculties back as well.”
Big Mac looked confused.
“Ah took a wrong turn out of the nurse’s office.”
The giant laughed. “Eeyup, I’ve done that more than once.”
It rolled around the bend, and into the car park.
A vision of red and gold, snorting steam and producing an almighty racket. It rolled forward, then did a two-point turn, backing up into one of the vacant spaces.
On its side was the nameplate Sadie. I was getting a ride home...on a traction engine!
Vice-Principal Luna stepped out onto the sidewalk. “No parking traction engines on the faculty lot!” she exclaimed.
Bright Mac looked back over. “Where else can Ah park her?” he asked. “The library?”
I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. Bright Mac and Pear Butter are alive in this world?
I sprinted over to the traction engine with a massive smile on my face.
Mac glanced in my general direction. “Well, howdy sugarcube,” he smiled. “How’s yer day been?”
“Apart from a collision with a door, good, thanks.”
Mac laughed. “C’mon y’all, let’s get this wagon train rollin’!”
We scrambled aboard, but I ended up getting wedged between Applejack and Big Mac on the back seat, whilst Granny Smith was one the left-hand side.
“Ah never was so keen on these steam machines,” she grumbled. “Reminds me of the old days in Cass when the Shays woke everyone up.”
Cass?
As in Cass Scenic Railroad?
I tried to suppress my excitement at this revelation, as it would have probably seemed a little odd.
Bright Mac reset the speed switch, and threw the traction engine into forwards. The machine wobbled forward, and rumbled onto the road, whistling as it did so.
The return trip was quite leisurely. Although we only moved along at 12 miles an hour, the autumn sun and falling leave made for a beautiful journey. It was a massive improvement of the suburbs of London, let me tell you!
However, this did lead to my first slipup.
As I looked around, with my mouth hanging open in amazement, I suddenly felt a hand on my shoulder.
It was Big Mac's. “What’s so amazin’?” he asked. “This is the view we get every day!”
I had to think of a plausible response, fast, or else blow my cover. “We don’t, err...get as good a view of it as we are now!”
Bright Mac laughed. “That’s the truth!” he replied.
Applejack glanced behind us. “We seem ta have created a mighty traffic jam though.”
Alas, we had. Stretched behind us were irritated motorists, honking horns and looking very cross.
“Oh, who cares?” Granny Smith added. “We all need to slow down once in awhile. You youngin’s spend yer whole time rushin’ around!”
Applejack smiled. “Well, we only got 5 minutes to get between lessons, so we kinda have ta speed about.”
I decided to chime in. “The pace sure is nice, but the horns behind us? Less so.” It reminded me of traffic jams on the M25, when motorists honk angrily at each other for minutes on end.
It must have been half an hour before the farmhouse loomed out of the distance, framed by a parade of trees bedecked in their autumn colours. The trees were disturbed by the traction engine rolling up the slope, blasting the skies with steam and still making a racket. The trees provided a shady spot and a lovely cool breeze as we rolled to a stop in front of Sweet Apple Acres.
I think it was then it hit me. I was home.
I must have been lost in thought, as a voice called up to me. “You gonna get off anytime soon? ‘Cause I need ta put Sadie away for the night!”
I glanced over. “Sorry, musta been lost in thought.”
I climbed down from the cab, and put my foot onto the rear driving wheel to steady myself. But I must have put it on a muddy patch, as no sooner did my boot go onto it, I slipped.
I fell forward, straight toward the ground, and then-
-SPLAT!
I had landed in a muddy pool next to the traction engine, and boy did I look silly. My clothes, arms and face were covered in streaks of brown, and were also a bit wet.
“Apple Bloom!” I heard Applejack call, as she ran round to me. “You OK?”
I pushed myself out of the mud, and stood up. “Ah’m alright!” I called. “It were mah fault anyways. Put mah boot where it shouldn’t have been.”
Bright Mac walked around the side. “That looks more like an honest mistake to me,” he added. “Ah was gonna clean the muddy patch off that tire!”
The conversation was interrupted by a voice from the door. “Good evenin’, y’all!”
I looked over to see the kind face of Pear Butter at the door, with a smile on her face. “Ah trust y’all had a good day?”
“Eeyup!” Big Mac exclaimed.
“Boy was it busy though,” Applejack admitted. “We had so many bottles of Cider ta distribute!”
Cider?
Oh yes, cider is non-alcoholic in America, but it is in the UK. Part of the reason they didn’t air The Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000 in the UK.
Bummer.
Pear Butter walked over to me, noticing how silent I was. “Is everythin’ OK?” she asked. “You ain’t this quiet usually!”
“She walked into a door,” Big Mac explained. “She might still be a little concussed.”
Pear’s response was to hug me tightly. “Oh sweetie, Ah hope yer OK now!”
I gasped. “I...kinda...need ta breathe!”
Thankfully, Pear-or should I say Ma, as I needed to keep the pretence up-let go.
Then Grand Pear appeared. “Mac!” he called. “Ah hope Sadie performed well for you.”
“That she did!” Pa replied. “But we get the truck back tomorrow, so she can have a well-earned break.”
“She?” Pear asked. “That traction engine is named after mah brother, so it would be ‘he’!”
Granny Smith’s voice suddenly cut through all the conversation. “We have more important things ta do, so quit yer jabberin’ and let’s go inside!”
That we did, as Granny’s word was law. As we stepped in, my foot made contact with the floor of the kitchen, an environment I never thought I’d actually step into. It had a warm, homey feel to it, as would be expected of this sort of family.
Remembering to remove my boots, I stepped further inside to look around and find the stairs. It had that hazy feel of long-forgotten memories of childhood, the sort that end up at the back of your mind, only to reappear when engaging in nostalgia.
Which I suppose I was, being a 20-something guy stuck in the body of a 12-year old girl. The scale also looked completely wrong, but that might have been a consequence of having lost a foot or so of height whilst in the bathroom all those years ago. It certainly felt like years!
Some old paintings hung on the walls, alongside family portraits. One of the photographs was from a reunion a few years back, and myself and Babs were sitting in the middle, with the Apple family relatives from across the globe seated around (and in some cases, standing).
Leaving that thought behind, I headed up the stairs, which creaked in that satisfying manner that old stairs do. At the top was the landing, with an old mantlepiece also covered in photographs that needed a comprehensive dusting. I took the first door on the left.
Big Mac looked back. “Yer down the corridor!” he shouted.
“Oops, sorry!” I replied, closing it again and walking onwards.
It took a while to navigate the labyrinth, but at long last I found my room. I pushed the door open, to be greeted with a window opposite, a set of drawers, a desk with a lamp and PC, and a couple of posters on the walls. I put my bag down next to the desk and sat down in the chair.
I pulled open the draw to be immediately greeted with a bundle of pages marked ‘book report’. Scanning through it quickly, it rapidly became apparent there was only one chapter left to write about, which was a relief.
As I set to work on it, and obvious problem came about. I had a very different style of writing to Apple Bloom, and so I had to find a way of mimicking her writing without making it look contrived. So, I took up a pen, and decided to try and write.
After about 5 minutes, it still didn’t look right. It took multiple attempts to get it completely correct, but that final chapter was at last done. I kicked back, proud of my work.
A loud knock at the door caused me to fall out of my chair.
“Dinner’s ready!” called Applejack.
“Ah’m comin’!” I replied, jumping up and running through the door.
A delicious smell of beef, carrots and mashed potato rolled up the stairs. Utterly entrancing.
I took my seat at the table, and picked up a knife and fork.
I suddenly became aware that everyone was staring at me.
“Uhh...is somethin’ the matter?”
Applejack shook her head, a look of worry plastered on her face. “We don’t collect cutlery until AFTER everyone is served. That knock to the head must’ve made a mess of yer memory.”
The meal proceeded uneventfully apart from that mishap, and upon being concluded, I retired to my room.
I switched on the computer to try and find out what was going on in the world, only to be presented with the password screen!
What could it be? I thought. Then an idea struck me.
ZapApple.
The password was accepted, and I was barraged with a number of icons, including Microsoft Office programs, the Steam icon, and a few others.
I clicked on Steam to see what I had installed.
Farming Simulator 2014? Really?
At least Train Simulator 2014 was there in the list, but the problem was most of the good routes hadn’t been added at this point. True, Settle-Carlisle was there, but Woodhead was not! Not even Clear Creek!
I booted the game up anyway, and loaded one of the scenarios. I wasn’t hugely bothered which one.
I had just passed Ais Gill when there was a knock at the door.
“Yes?” I asked.
Applejack opened the door. “Everythin’ OK, sugarcube?”
I nodded. “Ah’m OK.” My phone suddenly beeped, indicating a text.
I looked at it. 3V3 World of Warships?
“Who was that?”
“Scootaloo,” I replied. “She’s suggested a multiplayer game.”
Applejack laughed. “Well, keep the chat turned off and remember to get an early night. It’s school tomorrow.”
I nodded. “Gotcha.”
Applejack closed the door, and walked down the corridor.
A few hours must’ve passed, as I looked at the clock.
21:00? I thought in alarm. I shut the computer down, and rifled through the draw for any nightwear.
A green nightgown looked most appealing, so I pulled that on after getting undressed first. After doing my teeth, I jumped into bed and flicked off the light.
The next morning my ears were filled with music. I knew this one!
Applejack was playing bass, and Big Mac on guitar. It was Raise this Barn from Apple Family Reunion!
I grabbed the fiddle lying in its case next to the bed and joined in. The fact I didn’t even know how to play the violin didn’t occur to me, because suddenly I could!
Was this leftover muscle memory? Or was I imparted with this knowledge when I transformed?
Argh, I had no idea whether I was truly me anymore!
After getting showered, dressed, and had breakfast, we set off for school on Sadie. The journey in was equally scenic, the sun giving a beautiful frame to the scene before us. We pulled into the lot, and this time I made sure not to smack into the floor. That would be painful on tarmac.
Not much of note happened, apart from a math lesson. We were presented with the issue of algebra, or as I prefer to call it, ‘how long is a piece of string?’ But it was explained in a horrible and utterly waffly way. No wonder none of my classmates understood a word.
I looked over to Scootaloo. She mouthed ‘this is gibberish’, to me.
I gave her a thumbs up.
Mr Discord, the math teacher, looked over. “Perhaps Miss Bloom would care to explain how to do algebra.”
I assumed he was serious, and answered. “Ah’ll give it ma best shot.” I got up, and started writing on the board.
“Now, how long is a piece of string?” I asked the class.
“6 inches!” someone said.
“8 inches!” said another.
I nodded. “Both of those answers are correct, because it depends on the length of the piece of string.”
I turned back to the board. “Now then, how do we represent these answers?”
I drew two more lines on the board.
“X!”
There were murmurs of approval from the group, as the idea suddenly made sense.
Mr Discord spoke up. “That’s all very good, but how do you do this one?”
He wrote the following on the board:
5x+10y=3x+4y.
I smiled. “Child’s play.”
I wrote on the board, explaining my working as I went along.
“First, you gotta make each part equal on either side. We’ll eliminate the ‘x’s first. Subtract ‘3x’ from both sides.”
I performed the addition, leaving us with 2x+10y=4y.
“One step to go,” I said. “We gotta remove the ‘y’s. So what do we do?”
I removed 10y from both sides, leaving us with 2x=-6y.
“Now we need to divide by 2.”
This left us with x=-3y.
Mr Discord looked astonished. “That’s correct!” he said. “I’ll give you a merit for that.”
I nodded. “Thank ya, sir.” I returned to my desk.
Mr Discord addressed the class. “I couldn’t have explained that better myself. So now, questions. Answer these 10 questions before the end of the lesson.”
Safe to say, the lesson ran smoothly, and the students were thankful for my help. As we exited, another day concluded, Scootaloo spoke to me.
“I never knew you were that good at math!” she exclaimed. “You could make a career out of helping people!”
“Thanks Scoots,” I replied. “Ah wonder if it’s mah special talent.”
“It could well be,” she said. “Well, see you tomorrow.”
“See ya!” I called, as the family truck pulled into the lot.
When I got in, my phone buzzed with a text. I looked at it, and it was from Pip.
Hello Bloom, just checking to make sure you remember about tonight.
My mind had totally frozen. What was this about Pip and I doing something this evening? Did this mean that this world’s Apple Bloom and Pip had been dating?
Given the last two days, I couldn’t afford to rule anything out. So, I quickly went upstairs to my room and started to rack my brains over what to do. To be absolutely sure, I decided to send him a text.
Hi Pip, you wouldn’t mind reminding me about tonight?
I hit send and waited for the reply.
It’s at 6 tonight. We agreed the park, remember?
I started typing back.
I was just making sure, that’s all.
There was another pause.
That’s OK. See you then!
That cleaned that one up. But it didn’t clear the feeling of unease in my heart. I’d liked girls when I was a boy, so what if it didn’t work? Then I’d leave a heartbroken Pip behind, and I couldn’t bear that.
But on the other hand, I’d felt something when I’d woken up after being hit with a door. Something...different, that I couldn’t quite put my finger on. What could it be?
I pushed such thoughts to one side, taking out my homework. Luckily, I’d only got two pieces; a composition exercise in music, and an algebra exercise. Easy.
Except the composition exercise only allowed us to use three notes. How on Earth do you write an entire piece using three notes? Using only three chords makes sense, but not three notes!
Who did the teacher think I was, Phillip Glass?
I eventually settled on the notes of C, E, and G. What I ended up with sounded rather repetitive, but I made sure to alter some parts of it by incorporating such things as phase shifting and rearranged pitches.
Oh, and that thing the Americans call verticalization!
Algebra was at least a little more predictable. I solved them more or less by looking at them. It probably helped I’d been through secondary school once before, so I knew how to do these things at a much higher level.
Dinner was at 4:30. I wondered why it was so early compared to yesterday, so I went and enquired.
Ma’s answer was something along these lines; “Dear, aren’t ya seein’ Pip this evenin’?”
Typical. Everyone except me was clued up on what was going on.
The meal was a delicious clam chowder, Cajun style. It was one of my favourite styles of food, but when it came to cooking, I was worse than Sweetie Belle. And that’s saying something!
Once we were done, I headed upstairs to get changed. I figured that if I was seeing Pip, I had to at least look the part.
So, away went the shirt, jeans and boots (for a while, at least). I rifled through the drawers looking for something a bit more suitable for tonight’s proceedings.
Why can’t some people just have wardrobes? It would make life a lot easier.
But after a long search, I finally found what I was looking for. A lime green sundress and a pair of sandles to go with it. Whilst not having much experience with this sort of attire for obvious reasons, I figured that I could fudge my way through this encounter.
There was that line in a musical I starred in once. How did it go?
Ah yes, that was it!
“And a frock in Cosmopolitan, an ancient tome I have read of late, that teaches one how to sophisticate!”
I slapped some sunblock on my feet just to be safe. You can never be too careful with the old sun.
I headed downstairs and arrived in the kitchen. Pa was waiting there, along with Big Mac. Argh, too many Mac’s in this household!
“We’re ready to go, if you are,” Pa spoke.
Big Mac had a mild look of confusion on his face. “How’s this behind the strange attire?” he asked.
Pa sighed. “Mac, that’s yer little sister. She clearly wants to make a good impression for Pip.”
Mac nodded. “Eeyup. Ah only wish Sugar Belle made a similar effort.”
Big Mac was dating Sugar Belle in this world? Well, there go all the Cheerimac fanfics I read!
I gave Pa a thumbs-up. “Let’s go!” I called.
We headed out to the truck, which my automobile nut brain tried to identify. It looked to be a Chevrolet of some description, probably the 1950 model based on the styling. But when we sat inside, the interior had an odd mixture of modern and vintage features. There was an air conditioning unit, and the originals didn’t have those!
But I didn’t have to worry for too long, as Pa gave the briefing. It was clear he was very proud of the vehicle.
“Mah Pa owned an original back when Ah lived in Cass, all the way back in the 70s,” he explained. He turned the key, and the engine started up with a satisfying rumble. But it was oddly quiet for a vehicle of its age.
“Course, that one gave out a very long time ago,” Pa continued. “It broke mah heart to see it go, as it was the last link Ah had to Pa. So as soon as Chevrolet announced that they were producing an updated version, Ah placed an order. Course, it looks like the original, but it has all the modern features, like radio, air conditioning, and computer assisted drive.”
He pressed down on the accelerator, and away we went! But we didn’t get very far.
There was a sudden lurch, and the truck ground to a halt. We both scrambled out to take a look at it.
Pa sighed. “Bother, we have a puncture.”
He shouted over to Grand Pear. “Can we borrow Sadie again?”
Pip sat in the park, worried. 6pm had been and gone, and he was worried that Apple Bloom wasn’t going to come! Then all his work would be for naught.
But then, a whistle alerted him, as the familiar sight of Sadie rumbled to a halt in the treeline. Apple Bloom hopped off the side of the engine, and Bright Mac shouted to her.
“I’ll be back at 8:30! Be ready!”
“OK Pa!”
With that, the traction engine whistled once more, and steamed away into the distance. Apple Bloom sprinted over to Pip.
His mouth fell open in amazement. She looked absolutely beautiful, wearing that green dress and sandles.
He got up, and called over. “Apple Bloom! I’m so happy to see you!”
She slammed into him, and hugged him tightly. “Sorry ah’m late! We had a flat and had ta borrow Sadie!”
“That’s not a worry,” Pip replied. “Do you mind if we go over to the bandstand? The ice cream stand is nearby, and I think we both need one in this heat!”
Apple Bloom nodded. “Ah agree! Lead the way!”
Pip and his close friend sprinted through the trees, over to the bandstand. Pip popped out his wallet, and looked back. “Well, what’d you like?”
Apple Bloom peered at the list. “Vanilla, please,” she replied.
Pip did a double-take. Did she really just ask for that? She normally went for strawberry! But he figured she just wanted a change, and so went with it.
A few minutes and two satisfied friends later, they sat in front of the bandstand, arms around each other’s shoulders.
The band began to play, a quick, happy number about a guy who saw, and fell in love with, a girl, whose name was a soundalike for Apple Bloom.
Pip looked over into Bloom’s eyes. “I've been meaning to ask you this for a while, but...do you like me?”
Apple Bloom snorted. “Of course Ah like ya! We’re friends, ain’t we?”
“As a friend, or in that other sense?”
There was a brief pause. “The other sense?”
Pip sighed. “Let me be upfront with this. I love you.”
Apple Bloom looked stunned. “Ya do?”
Pip nodded. “With all my heart. And let me prove it!”
For a moment later, their lips met.
I couldn’t quite believe what was going on. Not only was a cartoon character telling me he loved me, now he’d just kissed me? There were mixed and confused emotions running through my brain, some leftovers of the old days, but more powerful emotions telling me to go along with this.
Besides...I knew I couldn’t hold it back any longer.
I loved him.
But our moment of happiness was not to last.
“Eww!” said a voice from behind us. I looked back, and saw it was Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon. “Apple Bloom’s dating a nine-year old!”
Pip looked cross. “I’m not nine!” he exclaimed.
“Whatever, Oliver Twist,” Silver Spoon snorted.
“I’m not from the East End!” he cried. “I’m from Nottingham!”
I had had enough. “Are ya just here ta cause trouble, or what?”
Diamond Tiara snorted. “What you gonna do, hillbilly?”
“Tell yer parents for one!” I replied. “Yer family gets a lot of its money from sellin’ our produce. What will happen when we pull the plug?”
Diamond began to waver.
“Yer down here with me. Now, buzz off.”
Diamond sprinted away. “You will regret this, Apple Bloom!” she shouted.
I sighed. “Bout time she got that.”
“You were awesome!” I heard Scootaloo shout, running over with Rumble at her side. Wait, Rumble?
“Yeah!” shouted a certain squeaky voice. It was Sweetie Belle, who was with Button Mash! Practically every ship I’d read about was happening here!
“What are ya’ll doin’ here?” I asked.
Scootaloo turned red. “I was...well...Rumble and I...”
“We’re dating,” Rumble said quickly.
Pip spoke up. “Let me guess, Sweetie Belle, you’re dating Button?”
Sweetie Belle had gone crimson, and simply nodded. Button had a massive grin on his face.
“That was great,” he said to me. “You showed those girls who’s boss!”
“That’s what friends are for,” I said. “Besides, a friend in need is a friend indeed.”
Scootaloo looked deep in thought. “There’s an old Scottish song on that theme that was a big hit when Mom was a kid. Something about many miles?”
Just then, the band fired up with ‘500 Miles’.
“What perfect timing!” Pip exclaimed, and before we knew what was happening, we were dancing the evening away.
Our fun was suddenly interrupted by a truck horn. “Apple Bloom!”
I turned to go. “Sorry, gotta dash!” I called. “See ya at school tomorrow!”
I hopped into the passenger seat. As we set off, Pa looked directly at me.
“You look like ya had fun,” he said.
“It were a great evenin’,” I replied.
And that night, I went to sleep, with a warm feeling in my heart. At long last, in my lonely life, I had found love. True, it wasn’t the way I was expecting, but life would be dull if it weren’t for a few curveballs!
Maybe I would truly be happy here. Living as one of the Apple Family, with great friends like Pip and the girls.
But the next few months would throw all of that into doubt.
A few weeks passed by, and I slowly grew to enjoy my new life. It was truly carefree, with concerns like work and jobs firmly out of the way. Mind, there were chores, but they weren’t too difficult. As the saying goes, the youngest gets it the easiest!
Not that I was lazy, far from it. In fact, Saturday mornings were when these tasks were typically handed out, so I made sure to clear them with all reasonable speed. That way, I could use the afternoon as I saw fit. Sundays were fun too. Given the Lord took that day off, so did we!
Well, life on the farm is kinda laid back, ain’t much an ol’ country gal like me can’t hack.
Early ta rise, early in the sack. Thank God I’m a country gal!
I will now stop paraphrasing John Denver and get on with the story.
I quickly learned that Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle, alongside myself, ran a YouTube channel called the ‘Canterlot Movie Club’. Yup. CMC.
This meant that once a week, we’d review a film and record our reactions to them. And that is how we found ourselves, one Wednesday evening, at Sweetie Belle’s house. We hosted a different section each week at each other’s homes. I was up for next week.
“So, what we gonna watch?” I asked.
“We gave this session out to a request,” Sweetie Belle explained. “For some reason they’ve asked for a film called Sir Billi.”
I wanted to throw up.
Scootaloo looked over. “That’s the Scottish one, right?”
Sweetie Belle shrugged. “I know it was finished around the same time as Brave, but that’s about it. You should know Scoots, you’re the Scot here!”
Scootaloo went red. “Just because my mom’s maiden name was Macleod doesn’t make me Scottish!”
I chimed in. “Lotsa Americans are descended from Scots. Mah brother’s called Big McIntosh!”
“That’s an apple cultivar,” Sweetie Belle added.
“He was also Chief Mechanical Engineer of the Caledonian Railway.”
I frowned. What was with my family and naming everyone after types of apples? Clearly somebody up there must have had a strange sense of humour.
Sweetie Belle plugged her laptop into the TV, and set the film up. She then switched on the camera.
“Hello, everybody! This is Sweetie Belle!”
“Scootaloo here!”
“And Ah’m Apple Bloom! We are the CMC!”
“The Canterlot Movie Club!” we chorused, and high-fived together.
Sweetie Belle turned the camera around. “As requested by our viewers, today's movie is Sir Billi, a 2012 animated feature that was released under the title of Guardian of the Highlands in the US.”
Scootaloo chimed in. “The film was written and directed by Tessa and Sacha Hartmann, and was apparently produced as” -here Scootaloo made some air quotes- “a movie for Scotland to be proud of.”
“Well, without any further ado, let’s watch!” I said, as we moved the camera back to film us and our reactions. I switched the light off, and Sweetie Belle hit play.
When the film finished 80 minutes later, we had puzzled looks on our faces.
“That was bad,” Scootaloo said. “Incredibly bad.”
“Ah couldn’t understand a word of what they were sayin’ half the time!” I added.
“And what was with all those creepy character models?” Sweetie Belle asked. “I sincerely hope I misheard that line about the blue lever.”
“You mean that one about lowering him onto your-”
“Scootaloo!” I scolded. “There could be kids watchin’!”
She shrugged. “This isn’t a livestream. We can always edit it.”
“The plot made little to no sense either,” Sweetie Belle continued. “It seemed like they were more interested about shoehorning in references to Sean Connery than making a good film.”
“Besides, the animation looked TERRIBLE,” I added. “Ah’ve done better in Microsoft Paint!”
“Yeah, and it was a little inappropriate at times,” Scootaloo noted.
“A little?” Sweetie Belle squeaked. “Why put a joke about upskirting into a kid’s film?”
“What’s the final verdict?” I asked them.
Scootaloo shrugged. “At least it was better than Son of Aladdin.”
“Never mention that film again!” Sweetie Belle cried. “Well, that concludes this week’s session. What film do you want us to review next? Let us know in the comments!”
With that she switched the camera off.
“Ah need some brain bleach,” I said. “That film sucked.”
There was a knock at the door. “Apple Bloom! Your father’s here to pick you up!”
“OK, Mrs Crumbles!” I replied. I picked up my coat and backpack, before heading over to the door. “See ya tomorrow!”
“See ya!” my friends replied.
A week after that, we were heading from one lesson to another when suddenly we barrelled past a lavender-skinned girl. Scootaloo had to brake in order to avoid knocking her over.
I suddenly realised what was going on. It’s the events of the first film! I thought. I now had to be extra careful, as I couldn’t afford to give away the fact I knew what was coming.
That lunchtime, I sat down with my friends and Pip.
“Have you heard about that new girl?” Pip asked.
“The lavender one?” Scootaloo asked back.
“Yup!” Rumble chimed in.
“Turns out she gave Sunset a real telling off earlier today!” Button Mash exclaimed.
I glanced over to the others. “Say, do ya’ll think that was the girl we nearly ran into at break?”
Sweetie Belle put a hand to her chin, clearly in thought. “It seems plausible. I’ll ask Rarity if she’s seen her anywhere around.”
“I hope she can bring Sunset under control,” Pip concluded. “She was really horrible to me about my accent.”
“Yeah, and she wrecked Thunderlane’s fundraiser for the School Renovation scheme,” Rumble added.
I took a bite out of my sandwich. “Ah sure hope so, or else we may get a lightshow around here.”
Later that day, I suddenly heard Twilight and Sunset having a heated conversation, only for Twilight to start summarising the end of the film! What was going on?
As she walked away from a rather confused Sunset, I decided to confront her. "You ain't from around here, are ya?" I asked.
Twilight, in response, looked confused. "I don't know what you're talking about."
I knew I had her on the ropes. I smirked internally. "Well, you were talkin' like ya knew what Sunset were about ta say. Care ta explain that?"
"Er, um. Lucky guess?"
I certainly had the edge here. "Ah don't think so. Y'all'll be celebratin' soon, but Sunset'll make ya look a right fool online this evenin', and then attempt ta kill ya with a fireball!"
Twilight's reaction confirmed all that I needed to know. "Wait, how do you know that? And I doubt that she'll make me look quite that foolish."
"Ya ain't the only one who knows we're livin' in a movie. So what did he look like?"
"What did who look like? You mean?..."
I resisted the urge to comment on the misplaced question mark and continued with my questioning. "Did ya go ta Bronycon, get sold somethin' by a creepy guy or gal and then turn inta whichever character ya were dressed as?"
Twilight confirmed my suspicions, and more. I also let slip about the stuff down there... Moving swiftly on, I quickly learned that Twilight had originally been a girl called Katrina Miller, whom had ended up here after buying a few replicas of Twilight's things. She was also quite the preacher too! Though it took her a while to get her head around the fact my sexuality had shifted as a result of the displacement.
Shortly before we reached the library, Twilight (probably for the best I keep calling her that) turned to me. "So, you know when Sunset puts on the crown in the movie and gets turned into a terrifying She-Daemon? Do you think you and your friends could help me?"
"What do ya need? Ah'm all ears."
Shortly after, I guided Twilight to the library and met up with my friends. I was tempted to go over and help her with with the computer, despite her assurances that she knew what she was doing, but I remembered that I had agreed to be ignorant of her prescence. Besides, we had decided to check on a video we’d uploaded to see how many views it’d got.
My eardrums were assailed by some of the worst singing I had ever heard. But I had to go along with it. Funny thing was, why on earth had we recorded a song about ponies and Cutie Marks, given they don’t exist here?
Thankfully, it was cut short by Miss Cheerilee shutting off the speakers. “Girls!" She hissed. “What are you doing, especially you Scootaloo?”
Sweetie Belle seemed utterly unperturbed. “We’re just seeing how many views our new music video has got.” With that she turned the speaker back on, bringing us back in at the worst part of the song.
Cheerilee picked it up, and walked away. “Those computers are for research purposes only!”
I had already noticed something odd. The dialogue was different to how it was in the film. Was my presence distorting things somehow?
Scootaloo looked over. “Right, who’s idea was it to use a wireless speaker?”
I sighed. “It’s just as well, ya’ll. Some of the comments about our song were really awful.” I scrolled down through the comments. “Epic fail, funniest thing Ah’ve ever seen!”
A lightbulb went off above Sweetie Belle’s head. “Funniest thing they’ve ever seen, huh?” With which we sped off toward to exit.
I was worried. I didn’t want Twilight to go through absolute humiliation tomorrow. However, if it became apparent I knew what was going to happen, I would blow my cover.
This wasn’t easy, at all. But I had to muddle through somehow.
On the way home, off to the parking lot, I spoke to Applejack.
“Hey, sis, you encounter that new girl?”
Applejack looked at me. “Yeah. She was mighty somethin’. Gave Sunset Shimmer the what-for today!”
I laughed. “That’s always a good thing!”
But my sister’s face shifted to a frown. “Ah still don’t know how she knew mah name though.”
“Ya sure ya didn’t tell her?” Of course, I knew the answer, and too late I realised I had slipped up.
Thankfully, nobody noticed.
“She sure didn’t,” said Big Mac, who was now behind us. “Ah was there the whole time.”
That evening, I was preparing myself for bed when suddenly my phone’s ringtone went off. I picked it up, and saw it was an incoming call from Scootaloo.
“Hello?” I asked.
“You need to see this, Sunset has hit a new low.”
“Over what?”
“She’s posted a video of the new girl. Boy is it ugly.”
I knew exactly what she was referring to, but I stayed in the act. “Ah’ll put ya on speaker. Ah’m bringin’ up YouTube now.”
The video was exactly as I recalled from the film, but witnessing it as one of the characters, without the separation of the TV screen, made it a lot more immediate. I felt so sorry for her, so I opened the comments and began to type.
This is tasteless. How much lower can you go?
“Ah hope the new girl’l be OK,” I said. “See ya tomorrow Scoots, Ah need to get of ta bed now.”
See ya then.” The line shut off and I hopped into bed, switching the light off.
The next lunchtime, something odd happened. The cafeteria was truly packed, filled with many students grouped into social clusters. Flash Sentry was tuning his guitar for some reason, and several students were spinning tumblers.
I suddenly noticed that several students had acquired Wondercolts head boppers, including Applejack, who was seated opposite me and Scootaloo. Sorry, Scootaloo and I. No, the first time was right!
These same students began to stomp out a beat and clap their hands, as music began to flood into the room from hidden speakers. The Mane 5 suddenly jumped up, ran to one end of the room, and began singing and dancing.
The Cafeteria Song from the first film is one of my all-time favourite MLP songs, but here I was, witnessing this incredible display live! Before I knew what was happening, a grin broke out from ear to ear across my face as Wondercolts paraphernalia began to fly through the air, including ears and tails. It took all my energy not to join in before Twilight entered.
Soon the entire cafeteria was on its feet, singing and clapping and dancing. I only hoped we all got caught on camera in the finished product.
After that happy occasion, we headed in the direction of our next classes.
“I can see you enjoyed that!” Rumble laughed.
“That was incredible!” I replied. “Ah wonder how they choreographed and wrote it in such a short space a time?”
Pip nodded. “Some things are just like that.”
Then we suddenly heard a broadcast over the intercom.
“Can Twilight Sparkle please report to Vice-Principal Luna’s Office?”
I gulped. I knew we were moving into the stories’ final act, and I really didn’t fancy being brainwashed.
Luckily, Twilight was exonerated, and the gym was repaired, although we didn’t take part in that. But it was the night of the Fall Formal, and we all turned out in our best.
Myself, Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle turned out in our best attire (e.g. dresses. I’d finally got used to wearing those things!), whilst the boys looked adorable in suits. The evening was incredible, with the disco ball swinging and music blaring from the speakers. Naturally we danced together, got our photos taken (and thrown in our faces as there was ‘no style’, according to Photo Finish), and even won an impromptu dance-off against Rainbow Dash and Applejack!
But at last, the real event of the night arrived. Principal Celestia stepped up onto the stage and addressed us all. “I want to say how wonderful everything looks tonight, especially given the damage wreaked a few hours ago. You really pulled together in order to give us a night to remember.”
In more ways than one, I thought.
“And without any further ado, I’d like to announce the winner of this year’s Fall Formal crown.”
Tension mounted, and we looked back and forth at one another in apprehension.
“The Princess of this year’s Fall Formal is...Twilight Sparkle!”
Cheers resounded through the hall as Twilight went up to get her prize. But it was not to last.
“Help!” cried Spike, as Snips and Snails dragged him away. Twilight and the other sped after him.
I raised my hand. “C'mon girls, after them!”
We sprinted as fast as we could, which was not terribly fast as the boots were not the most practical items of footwear. We took a left, then a right, and exited out of a side door.
I looked around the wall, and saw Sunset brandishing a sledgehammer. It was obvious what was happening now. My heart began to beat faster and faster as the confrontation progressed.
“I’ll give you a choice, Twilight,” Sunset laughed. “Either you give me the crown, and you go, or I’ll destroy the portal!”
I gasped. No. If that portal goes, I can never go home.
Thankfully, Sunset didn’t, but it wasn’t long before they were all fighting over the crown, and Sunset placed it on her head.
“What’s going on?” Scootaloo asked me.
“It looks like some sort of energy,” Sweetie Belle observed. “But why? I thought it was a normal crown!”
I pulled back. “Scootaloo, you got yer slingshot?”
As Sunset laughed, brainwashing the students, Scootaloo took aim. “Distance to target?”
“Ah estimate about 500 feet.”
“Elevation?”
“Zero-Five-Zero!” Sweetie Belle chimed in.
Just then, Sunset boomed with laughter, and a fireball appeared in her hands. She was aiming at Applejack and her friends!
“Whatya waitin’ for, Scoots?” I asked. “Take the shot!”
Sunset laughed. “Gee, the gang really is all back together again. Well, step aside.”
She snarled. “Twilight Sparkle has stepped in my plans once to many times already, and she needs to DIE!”
But before the fireball could be launched, a rock pinged off the crown, dislodging it and knocking it onto the floor in front of Twilight.
“WHAT?” Sunset cried.
Applejack looked over, and saw Apple Bloom giving her a thumbs up.
“Those three just saved us,” she said.
We watched the rest of the encounter play out like in the film. Wow, that rainbow laser looked utterly incredible when witnessed right in front of you! The crater that was left over was large, and well...crater shaped. We walked over, to see Sunset Shimmer crawl out of the pit with tears in her eyes, and accept forgiveness from Twilight. Twas such a heart-warming moment.
But back to the dance, which went as normal, apart from some students having wings, ears and tails. Scootaloo even got a flight out of it, which must’ve been fun.
When I got back in that evening, I smiled. I’d been through the events of the first film without causing too much disruption.
Then the thought hit me. There was something approaching. Something I had to avert for the sake of both myself, and the world.
October rolled by pretty quickly, and apart from getting splattered in paint by a rather enthusiastic Pinkie Pie, not much happened.
Then there’s a large gap in my memory. It starts with me and my friends in the cafeteria chatting about the newest episode of...something or other. Then some singing started up behind us.
Next I knew, we were sitting in Canterlot Stadium, booing at some girls. Everything inbetween is just a great big blank.
In hindsight, I was stupid for forgetting about Rainbow Rocks. I could have prevented a lot of pain from occurring, but I can’t do anything about that now. I can only hope I didn’t do anything too stupid. On the flip side, at least nobody else remembers either!
The next thing of worth I will share with you, dear reader, occurred in Christmas, or around it. The snow had begun to fall, and the temperatures had begun to fall rapidly, meaning a permanent cloak of cold shrouded the land.
Back in the old days, winter was my favourite time of year. This was because heritage railways are best in the cold, with all the steam and smoke. Alas, there were no railways here, but at least there were traction engines!
One day, a few days before term broke up, Scootaloo, Sweetie Belle and myself were busy sorting our lockers at the end of the day. We were all elated at the news St. Nick was a week away or so.
“I love winter,” Scootaloo said. “Not least the feelings of good will, but the carols as well!”
“The food’s always good,” Sweetie Belle added. “My family always do a Cajun Christmas meal.” When she got a look from another student, she shrugged. “What? Is the surname not enough of a giveaway?”
I smiled. “And it means you get to be with family! That always matters most ta me!”
I pulled my coat on, added some gloves and pulled on a woolly hat. “See ya!” I called, as I walked away toward the parking lot.
Applejack turned up as I waited for the truck to pull in. “Howdy sugarcube!” she called.
“Hi sis!” I called excitedly. “Ah’m so so lookin’ forward ta tonight!”
Applejack’s face fell. “Ah can’t spend time with ya tonight, Sugarcube,” she replied.
“What? Why?”
My sister’s face went into serious mode. “Ya see, Sunset has no family ta spend the holidays with. So, me and mah friends have organised a series of slumber parties to give her a family. It’ll culminate at Sweet Apple Acres a night before the Apple Christmas Party.”
I nodded. “That's OK. Ah can arrange for mah friends to come over.”
Applejack smiled. “Thanks for bein’ so mature about it.” Just then, a loud horn echoed from the truck, now fitted for winter driving.
Well, my plan backfired pretty quickly. Scootaloo was literally snowed under, and Sweetie Belle had a mountain of homework to do. Ma and Pa were out in the snow, and Big Mac was seeing Sugar Belle in town, which left me with the internet, Granny Smith or Grand Pear.
I chose the last of those options. Don’t get me wrong, Granny Smith is a sweet old lady, but she can have a fierce temper if you end up out of line. I donned my coat, and walked out into the snow.
I entered the repair shed, where Grand Pear was working on Sadie.
He looked up from his work. “Hello, youngin’!” he said.
“Grandpa,” I asked, “Did you ever find yerself alone at this time of year?”
He turned around. “Applejack’s out, isn’t she?”
I nodded.
He stepped closer. “Back in the old days, when mah family weren't always around, Ah’d prepare food for them to show how Ah valued them. So, regardless of whether they were around or not, they knew our kinship was strong.”
I nodded. “That’s a good idea.”
He smiled. “There’s a good girl. Now, if ya don’t mind, Ah need to complete this repair.”
I walked out into the snow, and back over to the house. I took my coat off, and went upstairs to my room.
I sat at my desk and removed some paper, starting to make some calculations as I did so.
I must have got utterly wrapped up in all this, as I jumped when somebody knocked on the door. “Hello?” I called.
Granny Smith opened the door. “Well, there ya are. Ah jus’ wanted to tell ya that Ah was headin’ off ta bed now, so don’t stay up too late.”
I nodded. “Goodnight, Granny.” Granny Smith closed the door, and I flicked on my phone, dialling Applejack as I did so.
A grumpy voice came down the line. "Whoever this is, ya just ruined a real heart-warmin' moment.”
“Howdy!” I said. “Ah just wanted to check yer doin’ alright, that’s all.”
“She sure is!” said the voice of Sunset Shimmer on the other end. "She’s even wearing nail polish!”
I laughed. “That’s a first.”
“Hey, don’t be off to bed late now, ya hear me?”
“Alright, alright, Ah’m just the messenger.” I paused. “Have a good night!” I ended the call before I could even entertain the possibility of saying the next word.
I then texted Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle. Meet me tomorrow in the cafeteria. Before lessons.
I then got changed, did my teeth, and hopped into bed, switching off my bedside light as I did so. If my plan worked, it’d get the family back together.
The next morning, I headed straight to my locker and dropped off my books for later today, before heading to the cafeteria. It was already bustling, and full of chatter and Christmas cheer. I saw Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle already drinking hot chocolate, so I sat down and joined them.
“Howdy girls!” I said.
“Morning!” said Sweetie Belle.
“So, what did you want to see us about Apple Bloom?” asked Scootaloo.
“Ah have a plan.” I was being vague on purpose.
“For what?” Scootaloo asked. “I still feel a little lonely not being able to spend time not only with you guys, but with Rainbow Dash!”
“Mah plan fits into that,” I said. “It’s ta show our siblings how much we love them!”
“What did you have in mind?” Sweetie Belle asked.
“Grand Pear was tellin’ me yesterday that it was tradition to prepare a meal for those you loved. Well, how about we do the same?”
“Whoa, whoa!” Scootaloo interrupted. “This is gonna take a while!”
“And we got days!” I answered. “They’re havin’ their last slumber party at Sweet Apple Acres. We can do it for then, and Ah was thinkin’ each portion could represent a little bit of our families.”
“Let me guess, I’m doing something Cajun," Sweetie Belle said.
“Ah was thinkin’ gumbo as a starter. Ah’d handle the main course, which naturally enough with be somethin’ fried.”
“What do you want me to make for desert?” Scootaloo asked.
I smiled. “Tablet, of course!”
Scootaloo groaned. “I’m not Scottish, OK?”
I snorted. “That bagpiper behind you disagrees.”
The purple-haired girl jumped as Mr Discord started up with Scotland the Brave.
“Is that all?” Sweetie Belle asked. “Cause I’ll need to consult the recipe for mixing this together.”
“Yup!” I replied. “See ya!”
The days passed, and the ingredients slowly came together. Scootaloo’s attempts at making tablet got better...slowly, and we eventually ended up with 24 pieces, as well as 12 spares. Sweetie Belle had also made the gumbo, after NOT setting her kitchen on fire. This was a small miracle, and I’d marshalled the ingredients I needed to prepare fried chicken and mashed potatoes.
We had a few hours until the girls got in for their slumber party, so we set to work. The tablet went in the fridge, to be kept nice and cold until it was needed, whilst the Gumbo was soon spicing hot, put directly underneath cling film to keep it hot.
So, I set to work. It was all going so well...
...until the door flew open.
“What in tarnation are you girls doin’?”
I looked back, and saw Applejack and the other girls looking at us, surprised more than anything else.
“Well, uh, we-”
“You’d better have a good explanation for what yer doin’, or Ah’ll tan yer hide!”
Scootaloo spoke up. “We’re preparing this for you guys!”
“We just didn’t expect you to be back so early!” Sweetie Belle added.
Rarity looked in surprise. “That’s remarkably generous of you.”
“Ah got the idea from Grand Pear,” I admitted. “We wanted to show how much we love you guys.”
Applejack was now standing in front of me, looking down.
I shrank back. “Ah know, Ah shouldn’t have done it.” My eyes made contact with the floor. “Ah’m sorry.”
There was silence for a few moments. Then Applejack began to laugh.
“You girls!” she snorted.
“So, you forgive us?” Scootaloo asked.
“Darling, there’s no need to forgive, as you've done nothing wrong,” Rarity smiled.
Rainbow Dash walked over. “That gumbo will need heating again though, and you need to set the cooker differently if your frying.”
Sweetie Belle turned on the charm. “Will you help us then?”
“Eeyup!” Applejack cried. “C’mon, girls, let’s get to work!”
With all of us together, it took us no time to prepare everything. We sat down to a truly delicious meal, which met with approval from all, although the gumbo was a little hot. At least it was burning tongues rather than kitchens, although it was VERY spicy!
That evening, we retired to the front room, and gathered around the tree, a cheerful and happy occasion. We all enjoyed each other’s company, and it was a very merry Christmas indeed.
Little did I know, in the new year that everything would go downhill.
Spring had finally arrived in Canterlot, and we were all the happier for it. It meant we could put our winter clothes away, and return to our summer outfits. Sweetie Belle seemed especially pleased at the change in temperature; she seemed as uncomfortable wearing shorts or pants as I did wearing skirts!
We were also building up toward the Friendship Games, which left me with some apprehension, as of course I knew what was coming. However, we could at least enjoy each other’s company. We spend a wonderful spring afternoon one Sunday playing in the park. I forget how long that came of tag went on for, but we even got in an adventure or two, climbing on the rocks and walking through the caverns, imaging we were explorers looking for lost treasure in dark places. In spite of our age, we still enjoyed those sorts of adventures, as it allowed us to be children. And after all, isn’t growing up optional?
The very next day, we had just exited our lessons before break, Scootaloo seeming rather annoyed.
“Mrs. Harshvoice has gone too far this time!” she said.
“What do you mean?” Sweetie Belle asked.
“She’s set us some poetry that makes no sense!” Scootaloo said, exasperated.
“What would that be?” I enquired.
“Gertrude Stein.”
“Ouch!” exclaimed Sweetie Belle. “That gave Rarity real trouble when she was our age. I remember it.”
“Shall we go and look at it in the library?” I suggested.
That break, we puzzled over some of the ‘poems’, if you could call them that.
“A charm a single charm is doubtful. If the red is rose and there is a gate surrounding it, if inside is let in and there places change then certainly something is upright. It is honest.” Sweetie Belle looked in utter confusion. “What does that even mean?”
I puzzled over another one myself. “A blind agitiation is manly and uttermost.” I shook my head in confusion. “How does that relate to a cutlet?”
Scootaloo was snorting like a traction engine over another one. “Look at this one, ‘Peeled Pencil, Choke’. ‘Rub her coke’. What is this, innuendo?”
Sweetie Belle glanced at another one. “A little monkey goes like a donkey that means to say that means to say that more sighs last goes. Leave with it. A little monkey goes like a donkey.” She sighed. “It seems like she just threw a load of random words into one sentence!”
“It looks like yer writin’ when you were 3, sugarcube,” said Applejack from a nearby table.
“HEY!” I shouted. “Ah could put sentences together!”
“Ooh, how about this one!” Scootaloo interrupted. “Aider, why aider why whow, whow stop touch, aider whow, aider stop the muncher, muncher munchers. A jack in kill her, a jack in, makes a meadowed king, makes a to let.”
“How the school board thinks this is within our ability level is beyond me,” Sweetie Belle admitted.
Unfortunately, we couldn’t give any further opinions, as the intercom suddenly went. "Can Apple Bloom, Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle please report to Principal Celestia’s office?”
I looked at the others. “What could this be about?”
“I don’t know!” Scootaloo replied. “Could be anything.”
“That’s what I’m worried about,” Sweetie Belle added, quivering as she did so.
We walked along the Principal’s office, and I knocked on the door.
“Come in,” said the voice of Celestia. She did not sound pleased.
We stepped into the brightly lit room as if we were being interrogated. Celestia pointed to three chairs in front of her desk. “Sit,” she commanded.
We took our seats and sat there, being given the staring treatment by both Celestia and Luna.
“I hope you don’t mind me asking,” ventured Scootaloo, “but what is this all about?”
“Where were you three yesterday between the times of 15:00 and 18:00?” Luna asked.
“We were in the park, enjoying the sun,” I answered. “Pip, Scoots and Sweetie Belle can back me up on that one.”
Celestia’s eyes narrowed. “Then how do you explain this?” she asked, turning her monitor around.
It was CCTV footage of the school halls yesterday, recorded between those times!
“These show you, do they not?” Luna asked again.
“Ah-ah don’t get this!” I exclaimed. “How-?”
“Indeed,” Celestia said coolly. “How did you get into the school when it was locked? You do realise there are serious charges for trespassing.”
“But she was with us the whole time!” Scootaloo protested.
“She couldn’t be in two places at once!” Sweetie Belle added.
“That’s because she ain’t Apple Bloom,” said a third voice. We jumped when she spoke, and looked behind us.
Standing there, was a yellow-skinned girl with red hair, a bow in her hair, and was wearing a green shirt, blue shorts, and a pair of yellow boots.
“Ah am,” was all she said.
We just looked, utterly dumbfounded. My heart was beating at incredible speed as I realised my cover was well and truly blown.
“Well, ya think Ah enjoyed bein’ stuck in yer body?” she asked. “A 12-year-old girl, in the body of a 20-somethin' man? Well, it weren’t fun!” she snapped.
“Apart from...obvious changes, Ah had to pretend to be somebody else for months, whilst you got mah boyfriend all to yerself. And mah friends. And mah family!” She stomped around the front.
Celestia shook her head in complete and total confusion. “Am I seeing double here, or are there two Apple Blooms?”
“Yes sister, there are,” Luna replied. “But I have no idea what this is about.”
“SHE took mah life!” Apple Bloom exclaimed.
“Well, you took mine!” I shot back, before realising what I had done.
Sweetie Belle looked over in consternation. “What?” she asked. “is this true?”
I froze in shock.
Celestia turned on the intercom. “Get me Applejack.”
“Yes ma’am!” Luna replied, opening the door to reveal Applejack standing behind it.
“NOT THAT QUICKLY!” Celestia bellowed. The door was promptly closed, and the intercom engaged. “Could Applejack please report to Principal Celestia’s office?”
There was a knock at the door, and Applejack opened it. “Is somethin’ the matter?” she asked. "And why are there two Apple Blooms?”
Apple Bloom looked angry. “She’s an imposter!”
Applejack looked into my eyes. “Ah want you to answer me honestly sugarcube,” she said. “Is this true?”
It was at that moment the dam burst. I hugged her, crying with all my might. “I-it’s true!” I sobbed.
“How?” Applejack asked. “Just who the hey are you?”
After giving me a moment to compose myself, I finally answered her question. “Ah was a guy named Tom. Ya see, where I’m from, you guys are a TV show called Mah Little Pony: Equestria Girls. We have an event called BronyCon where we meet and discuss the show. Ah went as Apple Bloom, and somehow got transformed into her, then ended up here. That’s why Ah had amnesia.”
Sweetie Belle spoke up. “That explains what happened after you were hit by the door. You must have switched places around then.”
Applejack shook her head in disbelief. “All this time, Ah was bein’ lied to.” She pointed to the door. “Get out.”
“Wha?”
“Get a move on.” Applejack looked angry.
“But sis, Ah-”
“Don’t ever call me that again!” she bellowed. “Ah never want to see ya again! AH HATE YA!”
It was too much. I ran out of the room crying, having seen all that I’d tried to build come crashing down. I ran through the corridors, as far as I could, before running into Pip.
“Apple Bloom!” he asked. “What’s wrong?”
I tried to speak through my tears, but my words were incomprehensible. I simply sobbed in his arms for what felt like hours.
“Mah own family rejected me,” I whispered. First Rebecca, then Applejack? I truly had nobody left.
“You can stay with me,” Pip said. “My parents wouldn’t mind.”
“And we’re behind you,” said a voice behind me. I looked back, and saw Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle.
“Why?” I asked. “Ya know who Ah am!”
“We do, Apple Bloom,” answered Sweetie Belle. “And we want to make this right.”
I truly had friends in this world. It seemed things weren’t going to be as bad as I’d thought.
Pip’s parents were accommodating, and understood my circumstances, even though they seemed to think I was just here for a sleepover at first. I got the spare room, but I wasn’t too fussed. As long as I had a bed, I was fine. But school would be a challenge, given there were now two of me wandering around CHS.
Trying to convince the Apples of what had happened was problematic. I got Granny Smith on the other end of the line, which was awkward.
“Hello, this is Sweet Apple Acres?”
“Hi Granny, this is Apple Bloom.”
“Is this some sorta prank?”
“No, really, it’s me!”
“Well, Apple Bloom came in a few moments ago, so you can’t be her.”
“There are two Apple Blooms! Ah’m just one of them!”
“Flibberty-Flabberty put you up to this, didn’t he?”
I sighed. “They’re two people, Granny. Flim and Flam.”
“Ah won’t dabble in this silliness any longer, youngin’.” There was a loud click as the receiver was put down.
I put my phone down, and dropped to the floor. “Oh, for Pete's sake!” I exclaimed in frustration.
Pip came into the room. “What’s happening?” he asked.
“Ah can’t even get Granny Smith ta believe me!” I turned to him, my eyes burning with tears of frustration. “And she’s a livin’ lie detector! If Ah can’t convince her, who will be?”
I am,” Pip replied. “That other girl who looks like you, talks like you and lives at Sweet Apple Acres is not the Apple Bloom I know. For a start, that girl is rude and bossy.”
“And you think Ah’m not?” I asked.
“No!” he replied. “You’re honest, quick to stand up for others, and stubborn.” When I looked annoyed, he rapidly continued. “But in a good way! You never give up, and inspire others to keep going when they would give up! It’s almost as if you can show others what they’re good at!”
I paused. If what Pip was saying was true, I truly was Apple Bloom. But had I always been this way, or was it an aspect of the charade?
Pip continued. “You are also the girl I love. I know we may have had some rocky times, but overall I know my heart was right.”
Just then, the lights dimmed, and in stepped three more people. They were Rumble, Button Mash, and Featherweight, all dressed in Barbershop outfits with straw hats.
Then, through the gloom, I could see that Pip was dressed the same way.
“I may not always love you,” he sang.
I then realized exactly what was going on. This was God only Knows, as heard in Bioshock Infinite. This meant that Pip truly loved me, or else why would he go to such efforts to make his point clear?
They sang it beautifully, even if they went through 3 different keys and were a bit sharp at the end.
Pip smiled as he stepped forward. “Does this convince you of how I feel for you?”
I didn’t reply. I simply moved forward, wrapped my arms around his shoulders and kissed him.
“Ah hope that cleans that one up,” I replied, as we broke from each other’s embrace.
“It certainly does.”
A few days passed by, and life in Pip’s house was pretty fun. The other girls kept me filled in on what was happening at CHS, including that everyone was truly inspired to participate in the Friendship Games after Rainbow Dash sang a song which was a wonderful work of motivation. She’d even gained wings at the end of it, which was a little surprising.
“So, anythin’ else?” I asked.
“We have to put up with the other Apple Bloom, but boy is she bossy!” Scootaloo groaned.
“She doesn’t exactly work by consent,” Sweetie Belle explained. “It’s all ‘do this, do that’! But Applejack is convinced that’s her, and won’t listen to our protests.”
“Well, we tried,” Scootaloo started, “but she simply said we can’t believe that ‘imposter’. Her words, not mine!”
I sighed. “She can be real stubborn, but she ain’t stupid. Ah hope she’ll see sense someday.”
Sweetie Belle cut in. “If you want, you can come to the Friendship Games. We know a place where you’ll be able to watch without being seen.”
I nodded. “Sounds good to me,” I said.
For fairly obvious reasons, I did not witness the Axcademic Decathlon. Middle Schoolers were shut away in Mr Cranky Doodle’s class, which must have been very boring. I met with my friends at the side of the stands.
“My word, that session with Cranky was boring,” Scootaloo complained. “That must be what detention is like.”
“I imagine it’s worse,” Sweetie Belle added. “We need to go around the back to find the spot in question.”
We wandered around the back of the stands, and arrived at the location in question. The only problem was, the Wondertones were there as well.
“What are ya doin’ here, imposter?” asked Big Mac.
“I told you Sweetie Belle, I want you nowhere near that creep,” Rarity added.
“She just wants to watch,” Sweetie Belle protested.
“Is that really too much to ask?” added Scootaloo.
Big Mac looked displeased. “Ah strongly advise you scram.”
A smirk grew across Scootaloo’s face. “If you keep quiet about my friend here, you can sing at my aunt’s birthday party. How does that sound?”
There was a pause. And then something truly extraordinary happened.
“Sure!” started Big Mac, on a low Bb.
“Sure!” Toe Tapper joined in, on a D.
Torch Song joined as well, singing an F.
And finally, Rarity, on a high Bb. In short, there was a range of approximately two octaves. Having sung in barbershop and acapella groups before (and hoping to join the female one here at CHS), to hear them so perfectly in tune without the need for a piano or an ocarina was truly marvellous.
Toe Tapper looked at his watch. “Well, we’d better go perform our set!” he said, heading off into the distance.
I sat down next to the bleacher. “Ah’ll be fine here, just go and enjoy yerselves.”
“Sure thing, Apple Bloom,” Scootaloo replied.
I heard them walk off, then suddenly a voice cut over the noise. I poked my head around to see what it was.
“Where have you been?” asked the other Apple Bloom.
“We...er...” Sweetie Belle stalled.
“Had to get popcorn!” Scootaloo cut in, immediately producing a carton of it from nowhere.
I snorted with laughter. Scootaloo always had a trick up her sleeve.
“Well, yer late,” Apple Bloom said.
“Yes, Miss Bossyboots,” Scootaloo replied.
Well, the Wondertones put down a spirited performance of Barbershop classics, as well as some rock and roll hits. But when that was over, and the applause concluded, Dean Cadence stepped up to the microphone.
“Good afternoon students!” she called. “For today’s Tri-Cross Relay, our contestants will have to compete in three separate sections.”
She pointed to the centre. “First, they will need to brave the Obstacle Course, and land two bullseyes on the moving targets. Then, the speed skaters will have to complete 10 laps, and finally the Motocross will have to brace a thrilling track with twists, turns, and muddy ponds!”
She raised a klaxon. “If all are ready?” she asked. She then pressed down on the klaxon, which sounded a loud, thunderous note.
Proceedings occurred as expected, with Twilight being unable to hit the targets and Applejack assisting her. But having said that, I noticed something off. Pinkie Pie and Rarity seemed to be going at a fraction of the speed they were supposed to be, as if the track was made of sludge. When the other contestants were sent off, Twilight moved to hug Applejack.
“NO!” I cried. “DON’T!”
But with the noise of the crowds and the roller skates, my pleas fell on deaf ears. Applejack returned in kind, causing Twilight’s pendant to activate which in turn was dropped.
What followed next was an utter mess as the pendant bounced back and forth. Eventually, it bounced over to me, and I picked it up.
“Twilight!” I shouted. “Catch!”
She registered, before I threw it to her. She caught it, but managed to drop it, causing it to open and generate a portal.
I looked in horror as the massive plants appeared all over the place. When I’d last witnessed this scene, I’d had the safety of a screen in the way. Now, there was a very real danger of death. In the moment, I knew what I had to do.
I charged forward over the track, calling to Twilight. “Ya need to close the pendant, or more of those things will pour through!”
She nodded. “Who are you?”
“Mah name’s Apple Bloom! Now we need to shut that thin’, or we’re mincemeat!”
As Twilight danced around vines, and Rainbow Dash flew through the air smashing into the plant creatures, I jumped into the air, rolled past some of the vines, and found the pendant before it was dragged away. My hands closed around it, and with a desperate push, finally forced the pendant shut.
The monsters vanished all around, and everything returned (sort of) to normal, bar a wrecked motorbike and some frazzled students.
Celestia activated the intercom. “Can all students please report to the school hall for an emergency registration, thank you.”
As the students began to file out, Twilight looked up at me. “Hey, thanks for the help,” she said.
“No probs,” I said, and I extended my hand.
Before I knew what was going on, I was on the ground, clutching the side of my face, and Applejack’s boot was on my chest.
“Why’d you come here?” she asked.
“AJ, Ah-”
“You’ve been playin’ with mah emotions for far too long, imposter.”
“Ah just saved yer butt! You’d been eaten by a plant by now!” I protested.
“Well, maybe you shouldn’t be here,” Applejack snarled. “Just go back to where you came from.”
“Ah can’t go back,” I whimpered. “There is no way Ah can go back.”
Applejack just walked away. “Well, why should Ah care?”
It was too much. I had been rejected again. I couldn’t stop the tears from flowing out of my eyes. Twilight reached over and pulled me into an embrace.
“You’re from another world?”
“Y-yeah,” I sobbed. “Ah don’t belong here. There are two a’ me, but AJ won’t even consider me.”
Twilight nodded. “Take it easy there, we all know what it’s like to be lost. I had the same with my brother when he got married.”
“Really?” I asked.
“Yep,” Twilight replied. “They wouldn’t believe me when I found out that Shining’s ex was trying to wreck the wedding. She nearly succeeded too.”
I suddenly became aware of somebody walking over. It was Vice-Principal Luna.
“Apple Bloom, what are you doing out here?” she asked. “You need to report to the hall for registration.”
I wiped the tears from my eyes, and stood up. “OK, Miss.” I looked back at Twilight. “Thanks, I needed that.”
“No problem,” Twilight said. Hopefully she wouldn’t be too badly affected by what came next.
That evening, we met up again for the conclusion of the Friendship Games.
“Since the scores are tied,” spoke Dean Candence, “we have organised a tiebreaker event.”
“Somewhere around campus,” said Luna, “the school pennant has been hidden. The first team to find theirs and bring it back wins.” I briefly snorted, remembering what happened in the blooper reel.
“If our teams are ready, we’ll begin!” Cadence called.
I looked out from my hiding place. The other members of the CMC were up in the bleachers, and I knew the Main 6 were standing between them. On the other side, Principal Cinch was berating her students. I knew exactly what was coming next.
But what came next was surreal. When Cinch began singing, not only could we all hear it clearly, but there was the sound of a harpsichord playing in the background.
Well, that settles the question of whether the characters hear the songs they sing,” I thought.
The rest of the song played out more or less as in the movie, complete with the massive ball of energy and Midnight Sparkle. As with Sunset, actually witnessing the creation of Midnight was all the more horrifying when you were within close proximity.
The creature had a strange electronic tone to its voice. “Hahahaha! You were right! I didn’t understand magic before, BUT I DO NOW!” It then fired a beam that blew up the Wondercolt statue, causing portals to open up.
Portal after portal opened, as the Mane 6 charged into action. They dodged around the beams like acrobats, and saved several students.
Then Midnight laughed. “Time to die, Applejack! You deserve this for how you treated your sister!” A beam charged up in her hand, and she fired.
“NOOOOO!” I cried, sprinting forward and determined to prevent things from getting worse. I ran into Applejack and pushed her out of the way.
But a portal opened up, breaking open the floor. I grabbed onto the rock but began to slip. But as I fell, Applejack grabbed my hand.
“Ah got ya Sugarcube!” she called.
As I was held above oblivion, I could see London below me. And that’s when the pain hit, as my boots suddenly became uncomfortable to wear. I realised, to my horror, that I was being changed back!
“Pull me up!” I cried.
“Ah’m trying’, but the portal-my strength-Ah can’t lift ya!”
I flailed back and forth over this opening. I called one last thing to Applejack. “Know that...Ah don’t regret a thing!” I cried, as Applejack’s hand failed and I tumbled into oblivion.
I suddenly jolted awake, aware of it being very hot. I looked around me, and realised where I was.
I was back in my home in the UK. As my brain switched on, I looked down to see my skin was no longer yellow. Indeed, everything about my body had changed and increased in size. I was male again, exactly as I was before I transformed.
My clothing was a tad too small, and the remains of the boots were scattered all over the floor. My shirt was too small, as were the jeans. I removed them as best I could, and took clothes from my wardrobe. As I got changed, I looked down quickly and... yup, those were back too.
I felt my hair out of interest, and realised that the bow was gone. The very thing that had started my adventure was gone.
The happy life I’d had in Canterlot was gone, and it was never coming back.
I held my sadness in, and succeeded for a while, before breaking down. My friends in Canterlot were lost to me forever. I would never see Scootaloo or Sweetie Belle again. Never again would I walk the halls of CHS, or get shouted at by Mrs. Harshvoice for misusing a connective or getting word order jumbled. Never again would I ride on Sadie, enjoying the summer air.
It was too much to take, and I simply resorted to screaming uncontrollably at whatever entity lives up there.
“WHY? WHY DID YOU SEND ME BACK? I WAS HAPPY THERE!!”
And it was true. I was no longer truly just Tom Haddington, 20-something bloke from London who liked MLP and worked in engineering. I was now partially Apple Bloom.
I wanted to be Apple Bloom.
I attempted to cheer myself up by watching the Equestria Girls franchise in order, but that didn’t work. I simply broke down whenever the Crusaders came onto screen. I didn’t even entertain the possibility of reading Anon-a-Miss again. It saddened me to think that, out of all things, that is what the Crusaders will probably be remembered for.
I tried visiting heritage railways as well, and that helped. But eventually my mind would wander back to those days spent in happiness.
But what made it hardest was it was where I had found love, with a character who doesn’t even appear on screen! But there wasn’t anybody I could talk to. They would all think I was insane, or that I was reciting a fanfiction!
But I noticed something odd when attempting to re-watch Friendship Games. When it got to the journal scene at the beginning of the movie, the dialogue was different;
“Dear Princess Twilight, how's life treating you in Equestria? Any cool new magic spells? It's been pretty quiet here at CHS since the Battle of the Bands, although the Crusaders did cook us a pretty good meal. Boy was it spicy! We still pony up when we play music, which Rainbow Dash just loves to show off. But I still can't quite grasp what it's all about. I would love to hear what you think about it when you get a sec. Your friend, Sunset Shimmer.”
I couldn’t believe it! My actions had actually changed the series!
It was one gloomy day when everything got better. I was at my table, eating breakfast (a soggy sandwich), when there was a knock at my door. I walked over to it, and opened it. Sure enough, it was my postman!
“Hi Patrick,” I said to him.
“Good morning Tom!” he said. “I’ve got a letter here for you, and a parcel. Both of them are from the USA, from a city I’ve never heard of.”
I was surprised. Who would send me something from the USA, apart from my godfather in Houston?
“Thank you,” I said, taking them from him.
“Have a nice day,” Patrick replied, as he got back into his van and drove off.
I went inside and put the box down. I opened the letter and read it. Here is what it said;
Dear Thomas Haddington,
I imagine that you are wondering why I am writing to you. First off, I want to say sorry for the way I treated you when I first returned to Canterlot, as I realise now that you hadn’t intended to go to CHS, but were forced there instead.
I also wish to raise an issue I have been having. In the few weeks since I came back and was re-admitted into the Apple family, I’ve been struggling to fit in here. I believe it is because of the time I spent in your body and in your world. I am no longer truly Apple Bloom, just as you are no longer truly Thomas Haddington.
I came to realise that I would be happier in your world, living as you, than here on Sweet Apple Acres, as I no longer truly belong here.
Which brings me to the contents of the package I sent you. That box contains the bow that first transformed you into me. I believe that it still has some of its transformative magic left in it, and it should still work. To activate it, simply clip it into your hair.
But I would like to warn you that this switch would in all likelihood be permanent. You would not be able to return to London, nor I to Canterlot. This is not a light decision to make, so please think on it very carefully.
I know that you will make the right choice, irrespective of what you choose to do.
Your’s sincerely,
Apple Bloom.
I opened up the box, carefully removing the bubble wrap that protected the object inside. Sure enough, there was the bow, just as colourful and vivid as the day I had bought it at BronyCon. I picked it up, and thought for a moment.
If I were to put it on, I could be truly happy. But on the other hand, if I were to put it on and not be happy, I could not return to London.
Oh, stop being such a doubting Thomas! Said one voice in my head.
What if this doesn’t work? Said another.
I held the bow in front of me, trying to decide what to do.
It seemed like an eternity of time passed before I made up my mind whether to put the bow back in or not. Should I, or should I not? The question floated in front of me, leaving me unsure what to do.
But eventually I made up my mind. This time, I headed upstairs to my bedroom just to say goodbye, as I would probably never see it again after doing this. I looked around, taking it all in for the last time, and walked in, closing the door behind me, shutting the blinds, and opening my wardrobe, where there was a mirror. I intended to watch fully this time, and I was more prepared than at BronyCon, which now felt like it was thousands of years ago. I brought the bow up in my hand, running my other one through my short brown hair, which would shortly cease to exist.
“Goodbye Tom,” I said quietly. “But there’s no going back now.” With those words, I unclipped the bow, ran it into my hair, and clipped it up again.
Just then, I felt the electric jolt that was all too familiar to me from that day a few months back. And then it began.
As I looked on my shirt, which was long sleeved and blue, suddenly changed shades to green, and the sleeves shrank back until they terminated about halfway above my upper arms. The collar shrank back into the shirt, and the buttons vanished as the V-neck stitched itself up, giving my shirt a high collar around my neck.
My slacks changed, the new material brushing against my skin as the cotton morphed into denim. The button and zip stayed as they were, the only noticeable change was that they gained a silver finish compared to their previous black look.
A belt suddenly appeared, threading itself through the belt hooks, and a buckle appeared right at the centre point of my waist, which was either copper in colour or golden, depending on what angle you were looking at it from. Then, my ‘jeans’, as they now were, changed again, the legs rolling themselves up for some odd reason. It became clear why a moment later.
My slippers suddenly gained a much firmer heel, and closed around my feet, becoming firmer. As a result, I suddenly gained height briefly. The padding under my feet turned red, as the ‘shoes’, I suppose they now were, turned orange, before starting to grow up my leg. It was an incredibly strange sensation, feeling leather creeping up my legs, before they stopped at the halfway point between my ankles and my knee joints. On both of them, a metal buckle appeared, held in place with red straps. The legs of the jeans then dropped back over the boots, leaving the tops covered.
That was the outfit completed. “Well, what now?” I asked, looking completely ridiculous. I knew what was coming next, but everything seemed to be happening in a different order to last time.
I looked down briefly, and it was then I noticed something strange. The ground was suddenly beginning to get closer to my eyes, coming closer inch by inch. I looked in the mirror as my former height more or less melted away, until I reached a fraction of my former size. I had experienced it before, but it still felt bizarre nonetheless, and the reference point behind me told me that I had lost at least a foot of height, and the tallest I could possibly be was somewhere around 4 foot 5 inches.
I then felt an odd sensation in my feet, realising that they were shrinking in size, alongside the boots which were shrinking too. It was like Alice in Wonderland, but only it was in reverse; I was getting smaller, not bigger. My toes felt absolutely tiny now, but somehow, I was more comfortable with them that way. It was what I’d got used to during my time on the farm, and it felt good to have them back.
My legs had already decreased in width, becoming quite slim, yet defined and muscular, and I held my breath in anticipation for what was going to happen next.
No matter how prepared I was, it never ceases to hurt. I yelled out in pain, my voice shooting up in pitch like a rocket, as I felt two certain parts of my body disappear, retreating to somewhere the sun doesn’t shine, with a sudden burst of...something else. Pleasure? Shock? It was hard to describe. To my surprise my hips barely changed shape, but then again, I already knew Apple Bloom had pretty narrow hips anyway.
My face went red with embarrassment as I felt something else change under my jeans, and following that it was time for my chest area.
That familiar tingling started up in my chest, and I looked down, knowing what was coming next. I felt my muscles shifted in my chest, again becoming much smoother and lighter, yet well defined. Shortly after, the skin under my nipples started to get softer. Not long after that, and I must say it felt strangely good, my upper chest area began growing, swelling into a pair of breasts that stopped growing a few seconds later. Upon taking a quick glance, they looked to be fairly small, which wasn’t hugely surprising given Apple Bloom is meant to be about 12 anyway, but they were still held in place by something else I wasn’t wanting to check that had appeared under my shirt.
That just left my face, and I braced myself, as the bones started breaking apart in my face, shortening and coming together in a different variety of shapes and ways. By the time it was done, my cheekbones had moved higher up, to just under my eyes, and my entire complexion was somehow softer. My eyes changed colour to red, from brown, and I felt my cheeks purely to see how much softer the skin had become. On the topic of my skin, it suddenly changed colour, to the familiar yellow I knew so well.
That left just one thing to change. My eyebrows changed to red, and, clearly desperate for the transformation to complete, my hair suddenly went into a growing frenzy. It suddenly increased in volume quite dramatically, before my fringe started growing forward and flopped downward over my forehead, coming to a stop a few inches above my eyebrows.
Locks of hair suddenly cascaded down my back, stopping at my shoulders. My hair suddenly changed colour to red, and with that it seemed the transformation was complete.
“Well,” I asked, my voice once again that of Apple Bloom, “how am Ah gonna get back?”
That question answered itself as suddenly a portal opened up, and I fell straight through it, landing with a bang on the driveway right outside Sweet Apple Acres. I looked forward, to see Applejack getting into the family truck. She looked upset, as she probably thought I was dead.
I immediately started running toward her, calling out her name.
