Rainbow Dash lives an exciting life and is swiftly becoming the most daring, awesome pegasus in all of Equestria. She would gladly give it all up, though, just to confess her love to Applejack.
Listing Breeze and Rainbow Dash stood outside of her stagecoach at night. A lantern dangled creakily off a rusted hook above them, illuminating the map that had been spread over the top of a decrepit oil drum.
"After entering the Vault, you go down a flight of stairs, hang a left, and proceed down the narrow corridor lined with doorways." Listing pointed at the ink sketch while glancing at Rainbow. "This is the main hall of the vault."
"Looks like plenty of room to play hoofball."
"Will you friggin' pay attention?!" Listing frowned.
Rainbow sighed. "And where's the armory, exactly?"
"Two doors down, on your right."
"Is it open? Or do they know the combination of that?"
"The lock's broken, from what I can tell."
"Go figure."
"The mules should have everything organized by color. Look for the bits on the yellow-stickered shelves. The money's bound to be stored in rectangular aluminum bins."
"Is that where I'll find your bag of the Desert Hounds' money?"
"I... doubt that they'll have the bag in one piece, so..." Listing's words trailed off.
Rainbow squinted. "How am I getting the money back, exactly?"
"Just grab what you can carry and gallop out of there."
"Listing, I'm serious!" Rainbow gestured wildly. "Am I robbing these punks blind or am I just getting your bits back!"
"You know the amount that was stolen." Listing shrugged. "Just... round up a bit."
"Round up?"
"Yeah." Listing smirked in the lanternlight. "Consider it interest!"
"Dang it..." Rainbow huffed, folding her numb forelimbs. "I don't want to be the bad guy here!"
"What, you think these Hump Gangers wouldn't rob a baby foal blind?"
"That's not the point!" Rainbow's nostrils flared. "You're in it deep as it is with these punks. I don't want to share at all in that same cesspool."
"And you won't, Rainbow," Listing insisted. "You just rush in... hang a right at the second door of the corridor... grab the bits... rush back into the main hall... then gallop the rest of the way down the west corridor and out through the back door and into freedom!"
Rainbow sighed, face-hoofing. "... ... ...and what about the dudes guarding the back door exit?"
"I'll drag them out!" Listing said. "I'll be making a distraction!"
"What kind of a distraction"
"A super big one... I promise."
Rainbow glared.
Listing raised an eyebrow. "Why are you looking at me like that?"
"Pffft..." Rainbow rolled her eyes. "You know why."
"Alright. How come you're normally a tomcolt, but whenever you're around me you turn full mare."
"Huh...?!"
"Don't play dumb!" Listing smirked. "You ramp the sarcasm factor up by tenfold, Miss Passive Dashive Aggressive you!"
"First off... I've no clue what you're talking about," Rainbow muttered. "Second..." She pointed an angry hoof. "Don't talk in the present tense as if you and I are still a thing."
"But we were once a thing... long enough for you to know that I never break promises!"
"I never said you broke promises..." Rainbow stared off across the desert night. "Your promises just suck."
"I'll work my end of the heist! You can count on me!" Listing said. She smiled. "Come on! It's... it's like an adventure!"
"Mrmmfff... a waste of my good time, that's what it is," Rainbow muttered.
"Do I look like I'm forcing you to stay?"
"If I was smart, I'd fly right back to Las Pegasus," Rainbow muttered. "Vinyl and the girls must think I'm dead by now. Or worse." She looked around the junkyard, then at Listing. "I'm starting to think this is worse."
"What? Getting a chance to enact justice?"
"There's no justice about it, Listing." Rainbow seethed through her teeth. "You squandered your drug money by trying to make a stupid deal with these losers and they pulled the rug out from under you for your sins!"
"The money doesn't belong to them." Listing frowned. "It was for the buffalo—courtesy of a legitimate business transaction—"
"Which you messed up—"
"—for having the noble ambition of improving the working condition of the Desert Hounds!" Listing pointed at herself. "I'm the victim here, Rainbow! I don't know why you're coming at me with all guns blazing—"
"Because you wouldn't even be in this mess if you didn't jump out of the collective butthole of the morons spreading filth around Cloudsdale to begin with!" Rainbow snarled. "This is your problem, Listing! You never use your head!"
"And you started using your head too much." Listing folded her forelimbs. "How's that working out for you, by the way?"
Rainbow blinked, panting.
"Paying the mortgage of your cloud home on a timely manner? Working a respectable full-time job? Hmmm?" Listing arched an eyebrow. "Having an awesome time wrapping up winter with a bunch of watered-down earth ponies? Bet your dad's super proud..."
"You leave dad... my dad out of this," Rainbow grumbled.
"You were a lot more rambunctious before he kicked the bucket, y'know. It's a real shame." Listing stifled a yawn. "You're welcome, by the way."
Rainbow's eyes twitched. "For what?"
"I'm just trying to imagine what this so-called 'vacation' was like for you... being dragged around by a bunch of cider-huffing blowhards... being forced to shop and dance and giggle... ending up marinating in your own vomit as a reward for all of your loyalty... that's your schtick these days, ain't it? Tell me, of all the ponies who are loyal to you, who ever bothers to give you what you really need... or want?"
Rainbow clenched her jaw shut. Her tail flicked every now and then, but otherwise she scarcely moved.
"Face it, booger. You live for the thrill of the moment. Are you gonna get that in Las Pegasus? With these so-called 'friends' of yours who will drop you in a second as soon as your tab runs dry? Pffft... please. You came here for a diversion, didn't you? Everypony comes here to get lost. So... here's your chance. Hop on board and get lost with me. Oh... and about that interest I talked about earlier..." Listing winked. "You can keep it all to yourself. Add that to the dirty bits in your bag and maybe it'll help you go home and pay off your normal and boring life."
Rainbow sighed. She closed her eyes.
"... ... ...you don't have to thank me, y'know—" Listing began.
"I'm on board," Rainbow grumbled. She reopened her eyes, although her ears drooped. "If only to get you to shut up."
"I don't have to push your buttons," Listing said. "Just don't push mine." She sighed out her nostrils. "Goddess knows... for whatever reason... you were always friggin' good at it."
"Yeah, well, every giant has its weak spot."
"Heh..." Listing coiled and uncoiled her wings. "There you go again."
"So when do you wanna pull this craziness off?" Rainbow asked.
"Tomorrow. In the evening. Right at sundown."
"Seven thirty, right?"
"Yup." Listing nodded. "The sun will be my greatest ally... well... besides you, of course. Heh."
"Yeah, the sun and I know each other pretty well," Rainbow muttered.
"So, for the time being, that leaves us with just one issue."
"Yeah, what?"
"Sleeping arrangements."
Rainbow Dash blinked. She looked at Listing's cramped, confined stagecoach, then at the rest of the junkyard looming beyond cold, desert shadow. In the distance, wolves howled.
Listing cleared her throat. "I've got some extra pillows." She pointed at the run-down vehicle behind her. "We could just place them between us and—"
"I think I'll sleep in the dirt, thanks..."
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You know, this makes me wonder if there's a reason why Rainbow's helping Listing Breeze, more than just because she's being generous and/or dumb. I can't imagine Dash would go through all of this for someone she doesn't like very much and who's obviously trouble.
They've spent several chapters planning the heist.
There is sufficient margin for improvisation on Rainbow's part, though perhaps not for Listing.
This will go horribly, hilariously sideways.
Now Listing has the clam like ability to change gender at will.
The things Listing says have some truth to them, but are overall twisted and wrong. Like the Joker. Listing is like the Joker.
I'm getting the distinct impression that Listing is just using Rainbow for a heist altogether, and fully plans on bailing if fertilizer hits the a/c. I'm wondering how much of the whole story we're hearing here.
I'm not really buying this. We all know that Rainbow has a terrible lack of self-respect and self-esteem, but what happened with her loyalty? I can’t believe that the Rainbow we know in this fic would just stand there “sighing” while somepony is insulting her friends. I can see her thinking that her life sucks, but, the last time I checked, Rainbow still valued the friendship of Shy, Zecora and Noir, scootaloo, Twilight and the others, and lately the bar’s gang. If it already seems out of character to me that Rainbow dismiss so easily the fact that Vinyl and co will be deadly worried about her; I just can’t see her letting Lightning say so terrible things about her friends.
If Rainbow has some time to kill before the heist, she could... oh, I dunno, go back to her friends and let them know she's alive?
7191525
Listing is trying to get a rise out of her the same way a bully would.
She know's Dash values her friends heavily, so she's trying to bait Dash to get angry at her for insulting them.
Dash isn't rising to the bait, she's just annoyed that Listing is trying.
7191488 The best way to make someone believe false something isn't to tell them a lie. It's to wrap a falsehood around a truth and convicne them that it's still the same shape.
Still out of character.
vignette2.wikia.nocookie.net/roadwarrior/images/a/ab/Lord_Humungus.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20100113012502
"There has been too much violence. Too much pain. But I have an honorable compromise. Just walk away. Give up the bits, the plan, and the whole compound, and return to your vacation. Just walk away and we'll give you a safe passageway in the wastelands. Just walk away and there will be an end to the horror."
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I think I would have preferred the initial inference that Listing would be a psycho ex, that would have been easier to deal with. Instead she's this almost not bad person, so Rainbow can't just let her die alone in the dust ruminating on her mistakes for the rest of her short life before she's brutally murdered by this overblown gang garbage you've dreamt up for this arc. I mean, I'm not against Rainbow saving her sorry arse but the gang wars and heists and drug mules and the like don't really do it for me, and neither do they feel right in the Equestrian setting.
Ah well, I'll wait and see what you do with it.
7191851 That is amazing...
i.imgur.com/hvYFttw.gif
Can't Rainbow go report to her squad and return the afternoon of the next day? If she goes to her friends, will she even return?
7191853 Eh, at least you weren't one of the three down votes (and what's up with that?).
Huh, yeah, Rainbow raises a great point. Her friends are probably searching for her corpse at this point...
It may not even be beyond my suspension of disbelief to read that Rainbow's acting so "out of character" as some would say. She's obviously just doing her best to tolerate Listing as it is, and her attempts to stop her from even using that belittling nickname have been completely unsuccessful. It seems she'll allow her to say what she wants, but will express her disapproval and threaten to leave if it gets out of hand. May want to avoid direct physical confrontatiob in her current state, after all.
As for why she hasn't rushed to her friends, well...
...after a night like that, she may not know yet if she wants to STAY missing...
"Sir, I could be wrong, but it looks like a ship laden with explosive relationship history issues is headed right for Miamare."
"Now that's one ship..."
( •_•)>⌐■-■
(⌐■_■)
"... I wouldn't board."
bulbajer.files.wordpress.com/2016/05/csi-nope.jpg
7191548
Nah, that'd be the healthy, rational thing to do.
Hmm... I'm already starting to see hints of the old emotional abuse appearing. Not much, but enough to make me slightly uncomfortable. It makes me wonder why Dash isn't listening to her head and getting the heck out of there. Still... I rather like Listing's character despite everything. I'm hoping they might sort their past out and come to a healthier-- oh wait, this is Dash we're talking about... Never mind. Healthy is too optimistic a goal. A moderately non-abusive acquaintance perhaps? Or is that still aiming too high?
I want someone to draw fan-art of Listing. I'd do it myself, but I'm absolutely awful at drawing. Come on, people! The Austraeoh and Appledashery lot - we're practically a fandom of our own by this point. We need fan-art!
7191835
And she doesn't even have to think about doing it. I doubt she does. Dash is right about Listing not using her head; it's blatantly obvious in her planning skills. Her personality- her very CHARACTER is so toxic that this all comes naturally to her. I think she genuinely believes what she's saying about Rainbow's friends.
I'm pretty sure she's a narcissist, too. She insists Dash should be thankful for being ever so graciously invited along on such a 'thrilling' "adventure", while also insisting that "(she's) the victim here." She's self-affirming her delusion that she can do no wrong, while deflecting responsibility for the mistakes she DOES acknowledge. She even lashes out in some manner or another every time Dash points out a flaw in either Listing's plan or Listing herself -- classic narcissistic behavior.
Another thing I really didn't expect was that Listing has a hard time being with RD. It seems the relationship was problematic for both of them.
Probably Listing brings the worse our of RD and viceversa.
7374544 Mmm, more along the lines of standard abuser mentality. Nothing is her fault, she's the victim, she didn't do anything wrong
"I don't have to push your buttons," Listing said. "Just don't push mine."
Essentially "I wouldn't have to treat you like crap if you didn't start shit with me all the time" when all dash is really doing is standing up for herself and pointing out The obvious failings that listing needs to correct. and by that I mean "Dealing with gangs and selling drugs" like the kind of stuff that shouldn't have to be said and yet listing fails to understand that that's her problem a kind of "It's not the criminal activity it's just bad luck"mentality
Listing doesn't have a hard time being with RD she just needs a scapegoat for her problems and her temper and that's the relationship she's had with RD for ages.
92.4% completion.
Now would be an excellent moment for you to shut the fuck up, Listing.