"You better have thought up more than just one competition." Sarge muttered as he opened the door.
"Alright, what else did you say you were good at? Herding or whatever? We'll do that after if you want Sarge."
"What about something that I'm good at?" Sarge muttered.
"Well the only thing you're good at is trying to kill me." Grif replied. He turned to Applejack and raised his brow. "And I don't think she seems like one to kill someone for no reason."
"Lucky you." Sarge grunted.
"Let's get started shall we?"
"Ah'll start." Applejack said as she grabbed a tray from beside the oven.
"Are you as excited as I am Sarge?" Grif asked.
"What the hell do you think?" Sarge muttered.
"It's all going according to plan then." Grif smiled.
After a few hours Applejack pulled the tray filled with pastries out of the oven and placed it on the table. Grif stared at them briefly before shrugging and popping one in his mouth.
"These are good." Grif said thoughtfully as he threw another in his mouth. "What are these?"
"Bite sized apple tarts. They're mah own special recipe." Applejack beamed.
"Well, you're up next Sarge." Grif said as he funneled the tray of tarts into his mouth.
Sarge did not budge, instead he continued to glare at Grif who was giving him a smug look.
"What are you waiting for?" Grif asked.
"This is a lose-lose situation for me. Either I cook well enough for you to give me the damn point, or I give up and Applejack gets the point."
"Well if you don't think you're up to it..." Grif coughed.
"There is no challenge that I won't do."
"Chop chop then Sarge, I am growing impatient." Grif said with glee.
"You two, leave." Sarge grunted as he pushed Applejack and Grif towards the door.
"But I wanted to watch you cook." Grif said sarcastically.
Sarge slammed the door and Applejack looked at Grif.
"Ya shouldn't egg him on like that." Applejack said.
"If you were me you would take any chance you could to get him back."
"Do ya think he has a chance?" Applejack asked after a brief moment of silence.
"None at all, that's what is making this so perfect."
"D'ya always treat each other like this? Ya'd think that you would have a decent level of respect for one 'nother after all ya've been through togeth-."
"I'm just going to stop you right there." Grif said, shaking his head slightly. "We haven't gone through anything together. It's always been me thrown in front and used as a meat shield to let them run."
"Whadya mean by that?" Applejack asked.
"I'll just let Sarge tell you later, I'm sure he would love to tell you about his oh so fond memories."
Roughly an hour later, Sarge emerged from the kitchen and put an extremely burnt... something... in front of Grif. Grif took a fork and broke off a piece of it and bit it.
"It's not bad, actually." Grif said.
"Are you joking?" Sarge asked.
"Yes, it's fucking awful." Grif chuckled. "Applejack wins, we're done here."
"That was only one competition." Sarge yelled.
"Yeah... payback is a bitch, isn't it Sarge?"
"Yeah, now I'm about to get mine." Sarge muttered, getting up
"Sarge, what'd he mean by payback?" Applejack asked.
Sarge stopped dead in his tracks before he hit Grif, turning back to Applejack with a blank expression.
"Well seeing as he probably won't tell you I will. Ever since I got drafted Sarge has made my life a living hell. He's shot me, hit me, yelled at me and almost all of his plans involve me dying or, in the very least, crippling me.
"Sarge, is that true?" Applejack asked.
"Yeah but look at him, he needs to have sense knocked into him." Sarge protested.
"And get this, Sarge made Fluttershy cry and he apologized instantly without a moment’s hesitation." Grif said.
"That's because I have standards for who I beat, like you and the blues." Sarge said seriously. "Girls are fragile and weak and have to be treated like so."
Applejack's eyes flared and she bucked Sarge in the jaw.
"Son of a bitch." Sarge grunted. "What was that for?"
"Fragile and weak?" Applejack asked with a certain fire in her eyes.
"Er, that is, I meant-"
"Oh this is just perfect." Grif through bouts of laughter.
"Shut it." Sarge and Applejack said together, sobering Grif immediately.
"Now Sarge, this is what has t' happen." Applejack muttered. "Ah want you to apologize to me and more importantly, ah wantcha t' apologize t' Grif."
"What?" Sarge yelled. "I'll say sorry to you, but there is no way I'm apologizing to that sack of shit."
"Well Sarge, it seems to me that there is one challenge that you won't do." Grif said.
Sarge glared at Grif for a hard ten seconds, he slowly turned to talk to Applejack when she lifted her hoof and pointed it at Grif.
"C'mon Sarge, after all ya put him through he at least deserves t' hear it once." Applejack said. "And if ya want t' keep on bein' respected by me n' mah family's eyes ya gotta do it."
"You have no idea what you're talking abou-"
Applejack pointed her hoof at Grif once again, but this time accompanying it with a hard look. Sarge lowered his head and looked at the ground with a sneer. He turned to Grif and slowly started to walk up to him. Grif sat on the ground, hooves over his mouth in an attempt to hide the biggest grin of his life.
Oh my god he is actually going to go through with it. Grif thought to himself.
"Grif." Sarge said hesitantly in an extremely forced tone. "I think there is something I-"
"Yes Sarge, what is it you want to tell me?" Grif cooed.
"I wanted to tell you-"
"Yes?" Grif interrupted innocently.
"Sorry." Sarge grumbled quietly.
"What was that? I didn't quite hear you."
"I... said... sorry." Sarge sputtered, pausing to gag after every word.
"One more time."
"You're pushing what little luck you have left..." Sarge said in a strained voice.
"Sarge." Applejack called out.
"God dammit." Sarge muttered. He looked up at Grif and cleared his throat. "I am sorry Grif."
Grif fell on his back with laughter, eyes starting to water because of his laughing.
"See what you did?" Sarge asked Applejack. "Now I'll never hear the end of this."
"This is... the greatest day... of my life... ever... of all time." Grif said breathlessly through his laughter.
Over at the Carousel Boutique Simmons shuddered violently and he looked around.
"What is it Simmons, are you alright?" Rarity asked.
"I think so." Simmons said. He walked up to the window and looked outside. "For some reason I feel like hell froze just froze over."
I made a picture to celebrate the coming of the Antichrist.
And Ford the author never loses!
"Oh this is just perfect." Grif said.
Thank you, Grif, that's exactly what I thought of that.
Hell didn't just freeze over, it melted, solidified and imploded.
...Then it froze over.
Oh no, the fabric of space and time has begun to rip. No telling what kind of damage will be caused.
509983
Psh he made Fluttershy cry, this is just balancing it out.
509957
Twice.
510030
:|
OMG I CAN'T STOP LAUGHING IT HURTS SO MUCH
I don't know which is funnier, the fact that Sarge apologized to Grif, that Grif stole Wash's line, or the fact that Simmons could feel it.
510261
still,
hick chika bump bump
A momentus day, indeed. This would be a valid explanation as to why Cerberus is an ice-dog in Devil May Cry 3
You know, When it cut to Simmons, I was half expecting a funny line similar to how Obi Wan sensed the destruction of Alderaan.
510893
Simmons isn't exactly Obi Wan though
510901 But it would be funny... Although I am a HUGE Star Wars Fan, so I may be a little biased.
510688
Amazingly I'm currently working on a Dante and Vergil Crossover in Equestria
Secondly Simmons reaction was flipping priceless
511172
I'll be looking forward to that. You better give Dante a fucking strawberry milkshake sundae.
511174
NO PROBLEM!
After all it was this fanfic of yours that inspired me to get on FiM and make the dmc3 fanfic.
Trust me, I've played through all the games and watched the anime enough times to have Dante's quirks down to a T.
However I think writing Vergil in such a situation will be troublesome at times, especially without him killing somepony
511213
*Cough* I may have already planned an entire arc involving him already.
511244
But the TARDIS is blue and he loves blue and he IS a TARD... it's destiny... you can't deny him his rights!
511297
His personality will probably along the lines of the tenth doctor seeing as he was the one I first saw and my favorite, but maybe make him a tiny bit more snarky/english
511336
"Buttons? OH BOY I LOVE BUTTONS."
"Don't touch that!"
"...touch."
511410
TBH you basically wrote out the first encounter, minus house.
511455
I'm mediocre at best though...
Can a great writer think like a mediocre writer? Well actually that would make sense, but can a mediocre writer think like a great writer?
Sarge said sorry to Grif!? Wait a second, I'm fairly certain I just saw a pig flying past my window.
This has to be one of the best things I've ever read! Thank you so much!
Weirdly enough, even though I watched my last episode of RvB long before my first episode of FiM, I can remember, imagine and hear in my head the RvB character's voices a lot easier. Anyone else have that?
Grif will get destoryed when they leave the Epsilon unit
I nearly died laughing! xD
Sarge I'm...sorry Grif.
Simmons:(Looks around)
Rarity: What's the matter Simmons?
Simmons: There has been a disturbance in the force!
514625
Your face is an error
514649 Ya, but my face isn't in the story, so that's perfectly fine. Not calling my editing flawless, but it sure did help
514675
Pshhhhhh, I may have a few errors but it sure could be worse as you would know.
Plus there's never really any real mistakes bar a missing apostrophe, the only things I've been noticing is just you adding a tad more descriptions (which does help greatly, but just saying it isn't errors that's wrong with my story most of the time)
BTW Dark, rereading this chapter. I'm gonna have to hurt you if you don't have a second best day ever somewhere....
O.o Hell froze over?! YES! I can do whatever I want now! Thanks!
Simmons: "I feel a disturbance in the Force."
509942
Wait just a second here...
WHEN THE HELL DID FORD PREFECT BECOME AN AUTHOR!
I THOUGHT HE WAS ONLY AN EDITOR FOR "THE GUIDE"!
631930 I was talking about Fordregha because he said he got first and I deleted his comment.
631943 You mischievous little bastard you... This information makes two or more of the posts infinitely funnier! HAHA, THE FUN HAS BEEN DOUBLED!!!
I'm going to la off my assassination of Sarge for saying he's sorry.
If he ever causes Fluttershy pain again, he's bucking dead
"It was at that moment Discord was freed once more..."
that last bit, that was funny as hell.
Can totally picture Geoff's cancer-curing laughter when Grif is laughing his ass off at Sarge.
Over at the Carousel Boutique Simmons shuddered violently and he looked around.
"What is it Simmons, are you alright?" Rarity asked.
Shit just got real.
Sorry had to say it no one else did so i just took advantage of the opportunity.
"I think so." Simmons said. He walked up to the window and looked outside. "For some reason I feel like hell froze just froze over."
Simply golden
NOT ME NOT ME NOT ME NOT ME!
cdn.memegenerator.net/instances/400x/25627299.jpg
Old chapter but anyway.
"For some reason I feel like hell froze just froze over." One froze too much, didn't notice anything else.
Will look forward to reading the rest.
if I wasn't about to wake everyone in my house up, I would be laughing SO MUCH right now!!!!!!
I have just spotted a close Halo: Reach reference from Emile He says "Trust me, payback's a Bitch" what they said in the story was "Payback is a bitch."
Has anyone noticed the ponies don't care that the teams are swearing a lot even in front of kids?
2003037 first I don't think they know if the words are bad. hell horsefeathers is the worse they got as far as I know. Second to the writer you have single handled me the best moment in rvb history seriously rooster teeth would be proud.
They might hate each other, but they all know when something's up with the others. And I agree with Simmons about the whole 'hell froze over bit'. XD
Oh lordy lordy lordy, will someone PLEASE draw/animate this!? I can't imagine this in my head to do it proper justice!!