"Now ah know this barn might make ya think we're built outta bits, seein' as how well built she is, but we aren't." Applejack said as she opened the door to the barn and walked in. "That's why while ya live here ya'll will be expected t' help us around the acres and work hard."
"Anything a shisno can do, I can do better." Gary sniffed.
"Ya'll say that now." Applejack smirked to herself as she walked up to a pile of hay. "Now this is where ya'll be hunkerin' down from here on out."
"But this is a pile of grass." Gary huffed. "Reminds me of a joke... you wanna hear it?"
"Not really."
"Come on, you can't expect me to quit cold turkey!"
"Fine, what's the joke?" Applejack rolled her eyes.
"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Hay."
"Hay who?"
"Hay, I'm not a pig, so I refuse to sleep in the dirt!" Gary said, booming with laughter. After a few seconds, his laughing eased up and he coughed. "But seriously, this is unacceptable."
"Ah'm sorry ya feel that way, but there ain't nothin' we can do." Applejack smiled brazenly.
"You're enjoying this, aren't you?"
"Ah'd be lyin' if ah said no." Applejack chuckled.
"I don't think I like you very much..." Gary grumbled.
"Feelin' is a little mutual." Applejack nodded, turning back to the entrance. "Now that ya know where ya'll will be sleeping, we can-"
"We can what?" Gary asked, turning to the door.
Gary stopped in his tracks when he saw Big Mac standing in the doorway, making no effort to be hidden.
"Hey BM, whacha doin'?" Applejack said, laughing weakly.
"Jus' makin' sure nothin' funny is happenin' in here..."
"Oh, I love funny business!" Gary chuckled. "Been doing a lot of funny things with shisno over here, isn't that right?"
"Really now?" Big Mac asked, narrowing his eyes on Gary as he slowly made his way towards him.
"He didn't mean it like that!" Applejack said quickly, jumping in front of Big Mac.
"What do you mean? Of course I mean it that way, what other way could I mean it?" Gary chuckled.
"Both of you have no idea what you're thinkin' or sayin' and ya'll are just makin' matters worse." Applejack grunted.
"How? I'm just saying that I had fun insi-"
Applejack rushed over to Gary and stuffed her hat in his mouth, effectively silencing him. Applejack laughed nervously and turned to see Big Mac slowly walking towards him, eyes flaring in anger. Gary, reading Big Mac's intentions, ran away to the opposite side of the barn, where there was no source of light.
"Hold on now-"
"Move." Big Mac said, spitting out of the side of his mouth.
"Ah know what ya'll are thinkin', but it ain't how it looks."
"Oh? Ya might wanna explain fast, because it looks pretty bad." Big Mac said, breathing heavily through his nose as he kept a harsh glare on Gary, who was sitting in a dark corner, cowering in fear.
"Explain it to him, shisno! Explain it fast!" Gary said, covering his face.
"What did ya call mah sis?" Big Mac snapped, pushing Applejack to the side.
"Calm down Mac, he meant nothin' by it." Applejack promised, turning to Gary to nod. "Ain't that right?"
"Well I-"
"Ain't. That. Right." Applejack said firmly, now holding Big Mac back as he attempted to push her away.
"Of course, of course! Might I say Big Mac, that you have a- er, delightful... yoke?"
Big Mac stopped fighting and let out a heavy sigh through his nostrils, then turned to Applejack and nodded.
"Ya'll right now?" Applejack asked.
"Yes. Ah am, now let me go. Ah'll letcha talk."
Applejack nodded and released Big Mac, but stood next to him just in case he made a jump at Gary again.
"Talk." Big Mac commanded.
"Alright, now ah know what ya'll are thinkin', but Gary didn't do that to me."
"Then what did he do? Cause ah can't think of anything else he could have done to fit that sentence."
"Gary isn't a regular stallion."
"Looks fairly regular to me, besides that accent of his."
"You're one to-"
"Don't antagonize him." Applejack said quietly. "Gary here may seem t' be flesh in blood, but he ain't really all that."
"What in Equestria are ya-"
"Do it Gary." Applejack nodded.
"You want me to do it again?" Gary chuckled. "What about your rules?"
"Don't do it t' either of us." Applejack said, looking around the barn, when her eyes set on a large object. "Can ya use it on non ponies, like that thing?"
"Well, I have used it on a computer and a tank." Gary muttered as Big Mac and Applejack shared a confused look. "But I'm not sure if I can do it on a simple shisno invention like that..."
"What are ya'll on about?" Big Mac asked sternly.
"Ah'm tryin' to show ya, now will ya just hold yerself for one darn second?" Applejack said, looking back at Gary. "Ya might wanna consider attemptin' it, otherwise ah won't be able to hold BM here for much longer."
"But ya aren't holdin' me." Big Mac said, looking at his sister.
"Ah know, because when he does what he does, ya'll won't be able to fight him."
"Ah can do what ah-" Big Mac started, but stopped when Gary waas no longer sitting in the corner. "Where'd he go?"
"Over here." Gary said from behind him.
Big Mac whipped around, but could not see Gary anywhere.
"Missed me." Gary sighed.
Big Mac turned to the corner of the barn, which was completely dark due to there being no lights. But something in there gave off a faint yellow glow. Big Mac squinted his eyes as the family wagon started wheeling itself out.
"Is he behind the cart?" Big Mac asked as he slowly walked aound it.
"Guess again, genius." The wagon said.
"Did the wagon just talk?" Big Mac asked hesitantly.
"No, Gary is the wagon." Applejack said quietly. "C'mon back out, Gary."
The wagon shook violently for a few seconds, before Gary suddenly materialized out of thin air, standing with a smirk next to the wagon. Big Mac stared wide eyed at Gary, not out of fear, but out of growing curiosity.
"Y'see, when ah said Gary wasn't a real stallion, ah meant it." Applejack said softly, motioning her hoof towards Gary. "He's really more of a ghost."
"A ghost?" Big Mac asked doubtfully.
"Ah know it's hard t' believe, but how else could he have done that? He ain't a unicorn, so he can't use magic. It's hard t' explain." Applejack said as she rubbed her head with her right foreleg. "Y'know how ah said he was inside me?"
"Eeyup." Big Mac said cautiously.
"When ah said he was inside me, ah meant it in the sense that he possessed me."
"Ya possessed my sister?" Big Mac snapped.
Applejack jumped at Big Mac, but he adjusted his body so she flew over him and tumbled to the ground. Applejack looked back up to see Big Mac rolling around, hay flying everywhere.
"Big Mac, stop that now!" Applejack said snappishly.
Big mac then stopped thrashing about, got up from the ground and wiped the hay off of him. He then readjusted his yoke slightly and walked away from the pile of hay.
"Big Mac, what in the hay did you do that for?" Applejack yelled, trotting up to the pile of the hay to make sure Big Mac didn't seriously injure Gary. "Gary may not be that trustworthy, but he's still a guest, an' the Apple family don't hurt guests!"
"Oh, ah don't think he's doin' a lot of hurtin'." Big Mac said in a robotic voice, smiling coyly at Applejack.
"What did ah tell ya before comin' in here?" Applejack asked, quickly realizing Gary had possessed Big Mac.
"Come now, ah know your shisno brain is smaller than mine, but would ya really rather your brother torture me over me hidin' in here?"
"Ya could have hid in the wagon!"
"Ya'll know he woulda just smashed it t' pieces." Gary mumbled.
"Ah..." Applejack trailed off, then placed her hat back on her head. "Ah know, just get outta him."
"But-"
"Now." Applejack commanded.
Gary rolled Big Mac's eyes, then materialized behind Applejack. Big Mac stumbled and almost fell over, but recovered and shook his head. After straightening up, he lazily looked around the room for Gary.
"He's behind me." Applejack said.
"Then move." Big Mac said, trying to walk around Applejack to get to Gary. "Ah got some business t' attend to."
"Big Mac, ya'll know Ma n' Pa wouldn't have liked seein' ya act this way..." Applejack said softly.
Big Mac hesitated, then took a few steps back from Applejack and looked at the ground.
"What was the one thing Pa always told us?" Applejack asked, relieved that Big Mac was now backing down.
"Do unto others as ya'll have them do." Big Mac said ashamedly, not looking Applejack in the eyes.
"Ah know ya have my best interests at heart with me bein' your sister an' all, and ah appreciate it, ah really do. But ah promise ya ah have it under control for now. Th' only reason he did what he did was outta self defense."
"Alright." Big Mac mumbled, still avoiding Applejack's eye contact. "Ah'll be with Granny Smith if ya need me."
"Thank you." Applejack smiled, though Big Mac simply walked out without saying anything else. Applejack turned to Gary and glared at him. "Don't suppose ya'll have anythin' funny t' say."
"I do, but I think I'll keep it to myself for now." Gary said slowly. "And as a side note, I would just like to let you know that I will highly consider not crossing you or your family again."
"Glad t' hear it." Applejack nodded, slowly walking out the door. "Now let's get started."
chooseomatic.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/farnsworth.jpg Good news, everyone. Caitlin's friend and I convinced Caitlin to watch MLP with us tomorrow. We will most likely get drunk, and if she likes the show then I will tell her about my story! And if she doesn't like the show, I'll tell her she better damn well start liking it because she will become an avid reader of my story.
I'm gonna read this aaaaaaaaaaaaaand its 502
good luck with Caitlin
1043451 That image made me read the entire comment in his voice.
Good luck man!
And we finally have this encounter! Yes!
1043461 Mr 502 had left me alone for two weeks. Until today.
One of us!
One of us!
One of us!
Seriously though good luck with that.
oh my god the new episode of rvb kicked soo much ass THE META CUT THAT DUDES ARM OFF
1043515
XD me too
whose caitlin? also aj shoulda let BM hurt gary. I'm a horrible person
1043547 spoilers bro not cool
1043568
My neughbor whom I've been on three dates with in the past two(?) months.
I really need to keep track of time...
1043451
Good Luck Bro. I got my GF in to the show after a couple of months.
I still get the feeling that Gary is gonna troll somepony...
1043630 well good luck witht that
1043586 still no reason to post spoilers about a show in the comments of a crossover fic unless its about 5 seasons back then its ok
1043451 that's great news professor!!!
1043547 Dude! SPOILER ALERT!
We have angered the 502 by removing the image of it, repent or it shall consume your computer like a great worm swallows an apple!
How does Big Mac know what "Shisno" means? Also the word "Shisno" refers to the human race, according to Gary it's what the aliens called humans. Considering almost everything he said was an intricate lie though, not so sure that's actually true.
Good chapter, don't forget to add a bit more deception in there and draw back with the knock-knock jokes and shisno references, they're really funny, but they'll get super stale if overused. Like the "sleeping on the ground like a pig" would have been a great "sleeping on the ground like a shisno".
Stay 'coo!
1044013
He doesn't, he just assumed in the context that it was an insult.
And it was originally sleep on the ground like a shisno, but I changed it to pig because I didn't want to overuse it.
1043451Woooot! Beer and MLP, fucking right dude!
When Big Mac was about to beat up Gary the scene were all the Wyoming clones got obliterated
came to mind.
finally! great ch. dark loved it xDD good luck with that ^w^v
1043638
... Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
Trollface cutie mark! YAY!
1043451
It's the perfect idea that would make sense while you were drunk! :D
Oh! You can play my drinking game! Every time Friendship is mentioned, take a shot. If you ain't hammered, you are the GOD OF LIQUOR!
1043547
now normally i don't say no spoilers...... but could you maybe keep spoilers to idk last season. just for those of us who have not quiet watched the newest stuff :( sorry to be a pain.
STILL TOO SHORT -hoof shake- good writing shame gary did not get his ass kicked.
1044035
And i think the point of the word is it's suppost to be over used. it's his catchphrase i suppose. gary is suppost to be annoying. :P ah well your story ^_^ YOUR AWESOME.
This story is one of the best ever. Good job!
Gary and his knock-knock jokes are just like me and my puns.
1043451
Best of luck on that! My fiance got me hooked before he and I even began dating.
On topic of the story... I thought AJ saying 'shisno' was comical, but Mac saying it? I lost it.
I love, love, LOVE this story more than you know. Keep it up!
1045884
And Sigma creeped everyone out
MAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAORMAOR
i am so disappointed, while the chapter itself was great, I was looking forward to Big Mac beating up Gary.
Damn. I lost it. I started laughing so hard that my little brother was afraid I went off the deep end because I sounded like the Joker.
this gary-asshole is racist
1043515 me too
1043515Ditto
yay holland
amsterdam city of the legal pod and whores
its kinda unfair to fistfight a ghost
dont you agree?
There is always room in the herd Caitlin
Gary. . . STFU you shisno
1962112 hey gary, guess what? FUS-RO-DAH!!!!!!!!
2857446
*rider kicks Gary, causing him to explode*
Almost every time gary talked i kept cringing because i knew he was diging his grave. But also this came to mind :
t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQf6wUvLpy6Xhrx0Ls6_nWz8mxYc8NPCByt4lboYliKid8JzZH4TVpbpy4
This is basically how I felt when Gary started to tell a Knock Knock joke:
2857446
One up from that Gary
Ryuuga wagateki wo kurau!