Alright. Let's cut the bull. · 4:58pm
I'm sure that a lot of you know about a certain person called Mister Citadel. Ya know, the writer of "The Mare Who Wants A Human Child?" And the biggest douchebag I've ran across in a while. And yes, I was being nice but I'm done. Because...well, let's run down the list.
First off is the story. It was a HiE clopfic about...Lyra wanting a human child. Duh. And it got featured. Now I know what you're thinking. "How did it get featured if it sucked so bad?" Well when the people who didn't have a hand down their pants decided to take a closer look at the damn thing, we saw that it had a few GLARING issues.
The first one isn't one I can really touch on, but my friend supercomputer can. Because it has to do with the Myst series. But seeing as how it's done wrong anyway, I can kinda touch on it. The premise is that our hero "Jaxxon Markus Citadel" (the fuck) managed to write his own version of Equestria and enter it. After doing so, he met and married Lyra and had four foals with her.
Let that sink in.
1. How the fuck. Literally nothing was explained. At all. 2. He SOMEHOW managed to have four foals with Lyra but not one human child? The fuck? 3. He wrote homosexuality out of the world.
Let me repeat that.
HE WROTE HOMOSEXUALITY OUT OF THE WORLD.
One of the first things Jaxxon said was that he didn't fuck around too much with the world because he wanted the ponies to have "free will" But then he completely erases something that is human nature? Some humans. But still. Are you fucking joking? AND there's supposed to be a religion aspect too. Because he's doing such a great job already.
He eventually took the story down because some of my friends (and others) decided to call bullshit. I posted my first two chapters of the riff to help that along. After it was taken down, it was re uploaded under the title of Mystquestria
And it's not better. It might actually be worse. How, you ask?
The first chapter was literally just him landing in Equestria (with a really small reason as to why) meeting Lyra and Rarity. That was the first half of the chapter. The second half was (I am not shitting you) him getting a "Cluster Headache" and curing it. That's it. I'm not kidding.
And after learning that our good friend MC also has these headaches, it turns out that dear old Jaxxon is STILL a self-insert.
And the second chapter...OH BOY. It's been removed, but I got it from some friends. Expect it in a riff very soon.
It...oh my god I can't believe this is real. It has a flashback from Lyra, and it turns out that when she was a filly she was almost raped into being gay.
Lyra. The hero of this story. Was almost raped into being gay.
Ya know, it's good to see that the BLATANT HOMOPHOBIA IS STILL THERE.
Like....are you fucking KIDDING?! You've already been in enough shit and you're going to go ahead and post something that will undoubtedly piss people off? Why? What are you trying to accomplish? Yes, we know that you "had feelings" for your brother. Yes, we understand that you don't like gay people. WE GET IT STOP DIGGING A DEEPER HOLE FOR YOURSELF.
And don't' get me started on that shit with his "cousin" Dolphy. Like, I don't believe this for a damn second. Especially because dear old MC posted this twenty minutes after. Are you trying to just tell us, "Yep! Here's my alt! I'm having fun so I'm going to keep pretending that it isn't!"
I just...I'm just about fucking done with you, MC. If you're going to calling for shit, you're going to get covered in it. Just stop while you're behind.
twow443, Your Pissed-Off Riffer.
And if you want to see a much better way to discribe this story, just click here.