1. Member Since 11th Dec, 2011
  2. offline for 10h, 22m

Be excellent to each other, and PARTY ON, DUDES! ~ Abraham Lincoln

Who the Hell is THIS Guy?

Heya, folks! I'm Jake The Army Guy! I call myself that because my name is Jake, I'm in the US Army, and... well, I think you can figure out the rest. :ajsmug:

I'm a Public Affairs Broadcast Journalist, meaning I make radio and TV news for the Army, in addition to handling public relations. I like to play drums, video games, and occasionally write about ponies. I also do fan fiction reviews and a bunch of other stuff for FOB Equestria, Home of the Military Brony, and mod a few groups over on Facebook. Ain't I interesting?

Flame Fuel(shamelessly ripped off from Bad_Seed_72):

Politics: Independent Conservative

Religion: Christian Universalist

Best Character: Spike

Best Pony: Applejack

Best filly: Babs Seed

Preferred Ships: MacDash, SoarinJack, SweetieSpike

People Who Make Me Not Suck:

Golden Vision


Piquo Pie

I also do pre-reading/editing for people who I feel need it/ask me nicely. By all means, drop me a line if you want my advice, but I may be too busy.

Random Shite:

Favorite Movie: Die Hard

Favorite TV Show: Doctor Who

Favorite Video Game: Resident Evil 4

Favorite Band: Metallica


Howdy howdy, guys, gals, and those as of yet undecided! First and foremost, as always, adorable Applejack:

This not appul...

Now then, as I said, my good stalker friend Captain Unstoppable is holding a writing contest for the MacDash COmmunity group, and yours truly happens to be a judge, along with Chief Maximus and Cap himself. Here, have a copypasta:

I have decided to host a MacDash Writing Contest with the first place prize being $50! Why $50? Because that is as much as I can afford so there we go. The rules are simple, write a story off one of the prompts, pictures, or just write a story that comes to mind and post it by July 1st to be entered in the competition! Anyone can enter, except for the judges, so why not give it a try? You can becomes $50 richer!

Who are these judges you ask? Why they are no other than Chief Maximus, Jake the Army Guy, and myself. The three of us will judge your story on grammar, story telling, and enjoyment. Sure we will probably throw in a few other things, but the main focus is the enjoyment because why read a story unless its enjoyable?  

Prompt Alpha: Use the line "You want me to what?!"

Prompt Bravo: Benefits of Dating an Apple or a Wonderbolt

Prompt Charlie: Meet the Parents

Prompt Delta: Apple Family Reunion

Prompt Echo: Do your own thing, have fun with it!

You heard it right, folks, a cash prize! Hey, I'm not paying it, so cool beans! If you got the chops to write a quickie, come on and enter to win and have some fun promoting Best Ship!

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#743 · 2w, 4d ago · 1 · ·

Happy Birthday, Jake! I recorded a special birthday message for you.

#742 · 4w, 1d ago · 2 · ·

Because Judas-Fucking-Priest cover, that's why.

#741 · 4w, 2d ago · · ·

>>2180304 This... This has brought me to enlightenment. Truly, That Which Must Not Be Named ... Ah, who the fuck am I kidding?


  • Viewing 741 - 745 of 745
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My Stuff(if you care to read)

  • Under A Luminous Sky Twilight and an investigator from Canterlot must catch a killer by Jake The Army Guy 99,866 words · 6,280 views · 526 likes · 22 dislikes
  • Finding Your Place Spike is no longer the chubby baby dragon he was, and he no longer has to go through his hundred-year wyrm sleep. But as he and Twilight move back to Canterlot, Spike finds that his new larger body means the end of his old life. by Jake The Army Guy 84,727 words · 4,117 views · 376 likes · 17 dislikes
  • Button Thrash Button Mash gets caught in a mosh. by Jake The Army Guy 2,128 words · 822 views · 82 likes · 11 dislikes