Who the Hell is THIS Guy?

Heya, folks! I'm Jake The Army Guy! I call myself that because my name is Jake, I'm in the US Army, and... well, I think you can figure out the rest. :ajsmug:

I'm a Public Affairs Broadcast Journalist, meaning I make radio and TV news for the Army, in addition to handle public relations. I like to play drums, video games, and occasionally write about ponies. I also do fan fiction reviews and a bunch of other stuff for FOB Equestria, Home of the Military Brony, and mod a few groups over on Facebook. Ain't I interesting?

Flame Fuel(shamelessly ripped off from Bad_Seed_72):

Politics: Independent Conservative

Religion: Christian Universalist

Best Character: Spike

Best Pony: Applejack

Best filly: Babs Seed

Preferred Ships: MacDash, SoarinJack, SweetieSpike

People Who Make Me Not Suck:

Golden Vision


Piquo Pie

I also do pre-reading/editing for people who I feel need it/ask me nicely. By all means, drop me a line if you want my advice, but I may be too busy.

Random Shite:

Favorite Movie: Die Hard

Favorite TV Show: Doctor Who

Favorite Video Game: Resident Evil 4

Favorite Band: Metallica


Howdy, all! Okay, so I just got back from seeing the new Equestria Girls. I know that other, more eloquent people(read: Present Perfect), will be doing full blown review blogs so I figured I would give a brief pros vs cons of it. Just a quick what I liked and didn't like. So, let's go!


The pacing.

Oh, dear sweet baby Jeebus, Leaps and bounds above the first movie! Scenes lasted longer than 30 seconds, and had time to breathe. Conversations felt like actual interactions as opposed to exposition spewing.

The Animation.

For real, this movie looked great. The animation was more fluid than the first one. It's obvious that DHX had a bigger budget for this one, and they certainly flexed their muscles. Cool lighting effects, pans and sweeps, countless new facial expressions.

On this, I have decided that Equestria Girls Scootaloo is the most adorable thing I have ever seen. Iunno, maybe it's just me having a thing for girls with short hair, but between that, the capris, and the hoodie, I just beetus'd all over myself.

The Plot.

Holy shit, not as many massive, gaping plot holes! This time around, we actually had competent villains! As soon as Sunset saw the Dazzlingz do their shtick, the first thing the girls to is go straight to Principal Celestia and Luna... only to find that the Dazzlings got to them first! The Dazzlings are revealed to be Sirens, an ancient group of spirits that feed off disharmony. Basically, Bizarro Changelings. Their actions make total sense in the view of the narrative.

What actually pleased me the most is that this was really Sunset Shimmer's movie. The running substory is about her trying to fit in after her whole, you know, "turned into a she-demon and tried to take over the world" thing. When we finally get Twilight back into the world, we see the girls fawn over her, claiming all their problems will be solved by her, and every time we see Sunset in the background. There is a scene where Twilight and Sunset have a nice little conversation about wanting to help, but not knowing how, and being scared of letting people down. Then, in the end, it's Sunset that saves the day, not Twilight.

The music.

Holy crap, guys. The song sin this movie were catchy as shit! And not in a bad way. I was tapping my foot the entire time. Granted, it was a very pop-inspired kind of "rock," but it still rocked. Even the Dazzlings songs were great, very moody, almost sensuous. For real, their Battle of the Bands song made the entire goddamn movie.

The Fan Service.

Okay, as far as I am concerned, LyraBon is now canon. No, not roommates, not close friends, but goddamn lesbian lovers.  Sadly, there are no good screen caps yet, but the way they mashed their faces together while playing the piano, I don't care how touchy-feely girls are, no "close friends" do that shit. They be bonin'.

Surprisingly, Trixie actually plays a decently-big role in this one!

Octavia spoke. Yes, she friggin' spoke. Also, she got her ass kicked by the Rainbooms.

Derpy goddamn everywhere. She even played in the talent show... and she played a saw. Never change, muffin mistress.

Bulk Biceps is friggin' terrifying as a human, Dem red eyes...

Vinyl actually played vital role in the finale! She still didn't talk, but hey, take what you can get!

The End credits teaser.

We actually saw the human world's Twilight! She has been studying the event of Canterlot High, and the whole thing ends with her confirming something fishy is going on there! Could this be a tease of a third movie... or maybe in the show? After all, it is now canon that they can travel between worlds at any time with the portal Twilight built...



Goddammit, I was so looking forward to rubbing this into Tchernobog's face. I honestly thought that they would have learned their lesson from the first movie and actually given Flash Sentry something to do! Sadly, he was just as pointless in this movie, if not moreso. He didn't even get to save Twilight's bacon at one point. He contributed nothing to the overall plot, and could have easily been forgotten. Though we did get confirmation that Twilight still holds a flame for him, in a narrative sense... guh, fine. You win this round, Tchern...


Funnily enough, the most interesting and useful character form the first one is pretty much pointless this time around. He hardly got any dialogue beyond being Twilight's cheerleader, and while he did come to the girls' rescue in the end, it was only because of one of those fewer, yet still there, plot holes. (Remind me why a high-school Battle of the Bands show stage has a giant trap door?)

Plot Holes:

Sadly, there were some ass-pulls this time, too, but in all honesty, it was nothing deal breaking... kinda. The way Sunset gets a hold of Twilight is pretty out of nowhere and awfully convenient. They hand-wave away the rest of the Mane Six not following Twilight just as shoddily as they did the first time, this time claiming it would be "too confusing to have two of everybody." srsly? And the aforementioned trap door.

Also, 20% cooler joke. Writers, I am dissapoint...

So, all in all? I really liked it! No, not, "Well, it was good for what it is" liked it, like the first one, but for real liked it! The jokes were funny, the music catchy, animation great, plot made a lot more sense than the last one, and it gave some much needed character to Sunset Shimmer... and none to Flash, but hey, take what you can get! Still not as good as an actual pony movie would be, but this was a highly entertaining little flick, and well worth the money I spent. I think you should all go see it.


Jake The Army Guy · 327 views · Edited 3w, 4d ago · Report

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#1474703 · 2d, 1h ago · · ·

Have you been getting my PMs?

#1449230 · 2w, 1d ago · · ·

Yeah, not gonna lie... not liking this avatar as much as your old one.

#1419598 · 4w, 2d ago · · ·


Lol, nope :rainbowlaugh:

But Hi anyways :derpytongue2:

#1419522 · 4w, 2d ago · · ·

>>1411818 Hi! Not who you were expecting, eh? :trollestia:

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