Jake The Army Guy

Joined December 2011
9,657 story views
43m, 25s ago

Be excellent to each other, and PARTY ON, DUDES! ~ Abrahamn Lincoln

Who the Hell is THIS Guy?

Heya, folks! I'm Jake The Army Guy! I call myself that because my name is Jake, I'm in the US Army, and... well, I think you can figure out the rest. :ajsmug:

I'm a Public Affairs Broadcast Journalist by trade, but I'm currently serving a tour of duty as a Drill Sergeant. When I'm not using the Royal Canterlot Voice on Privates, I like to play drums, video games, and occasionally write about ponies. I also do fan fiction reviews and a bunch of other stuff for FOB Equestria, Home of the Military Brony, and mod a few groups over on Facebook. Ain't I interesting?

Flame Fuel(shamelessly ripped off from Bad_Seed_72):

Politics: Independent Conservative

Religion: Christian Universalist

Best Character: Spike

Best Pony: Applejack

Best filly: Babs Seed

Preferred Ships: MacDash, SoarinJack, SweetieSpike

People Who Make Me Not Suck:

Golden Vision


Piquo Pie

I also do pre-reading/editing for people who I feel need it/ask me nicely. By all means, drop me a line if you want my advice, but I may be too busy.

Random Shite:

Favorite Movie: Die Hard

Favorite TV Show: Doctor Who

Favorite Video Game: Resident Evil 4

Favorite Band: Metallica


Indeed, Adorable Babs, I am.

Okay, this one has been festering for a while. Please forgive the slightly random nature of this blog.

What in the actual fuck is with this fandom hating itself so much?! Seriously, every time I hear about "Autism," "spaghetti," "Cheeto dust," or "fedoras" it ALWAYS comes from inside the fandom! You see this kind of talk pop up every year during convention season, and it's beginning to piss me the fuck off. Every time I log onto this site or Facebook, I see some new post about, "Ugh, there was SO much Cheeto dust at X-con! I sat down next to this girl/guy, and spaghetti everywhere!" I see this, and I just want to start punching motherfuckers in the throat. Guess what, high speed? Yeah, there are some people who aren't as socially adjusted as you, and guess what else? Cons finally give them an opportunity to get out and meet people. And who do they meet? Assholes who laugh and point at their attempts to be more outgoing.

Let me tell you a story. Back at The Con Of Which We Do Not Speak, during one of the many times when the main panel hall was empty—because TitanicCon was jacked up more than a sailor's dick durin shore leave in San Francisco—myself, PonyToast from Fillydelphia radio, and several others struck up an impromptu game of Whose Line Is It Anyway on the stage. There were about five of us who participated, just generally acting like morons, but then there was Mickey Mouse. I call him that because I shamefully cannot remember his name, but he had a Mickey shirt on. Anywho, this guy... well, there's no way to sugar coat it, he sucked. But mainly because he seemed so incredibly uncomfortable. When we would be running up to do random suggestions, he would be on the side of ths stage, but then he would take his turn.... and freeze. Badly. He'd mutter something under his breath, and then run off.

It was very obvious that the guy was awkward socially, that he didn't have any experience in this kind of thing. Now, did we, the people who were mroe comfortable in our own skin, laugh at him and tell him to fuck off? Did we point and make fun of his obvious social issues, possibly even autism/Aspbergers/phobia?

No. We encouraged him. We gave polite applause to him when he tried and failed, offered a bit of advice, and told him top get back in line to go again.

Now, after the game—still over an hour with no panel taking place, because HindenCon—we were as people find themselves when they have nop direction or instruction: standing in a circle, bullshitting. Mickey was there, and he wouldn't ever really participate in our conversations. Every now and then, he would awkwardly speak up about some complete nonsequitor, something that had zero bearing on the conversation, but was obviously an attempt to steer it towards something he could contribute on. Did we tell him to shut the fuck up? Did we laugh at the "Spaghetti" and walk away?

No. We humored him a bit, before gently steering the conversation back on track.

You may ask why we did all this? This was some random asshole at EdselCon who was interfering with us trying to have a good time! WHy humor him and his painfully obvious social woes?

Because the entire time, he had the biggest shit-eating grin on his face. This guy was a bit taller than me, and probably a few pounds overweight, but I swear the look on his face would give Fluttershy a run for her money in terms of sheer adorability. He was having so much fun, and seeing him gradually open up a bit and try, just try to fit in, and succeeding even a little bit, was a feeling that I can honestly say made my day.

Now yeah, there are the occasional actual, for real "neckbeards," at these conventions, I won;t deny this, but in my con travels, I met precious few of them. For the most part, I saw people like Mickey Mouse: shy, awkward people who didn't have a whole lot of experience in social gatherings, and who just wanted to feel like they belong. So, when a group started singing a song, they sang along, because it gave them a sense of belonging to something. When random people offered hugs, they gladly took it, because goddammit, they desperately want to live in that kind of world. Or people like me, who go to conventions because 362 days out of the year, I am a professional, and for three days, I just want to nerd the fuck out and be wacky.

So, as we head on to Bronycon, just keep that in mind. How about we stop making fun of these people, and start helping them? This fandom is a beautiful thing to so many people. It give those who don;t belong, who don;t fit in, a chance to have some fun and feel like they are a part of something. Now, yeah, the same could be said about any fandom, but I honestly believe that bronies are something special.

Oh, and a brief word to any fellow military bronies who may read this: if you are one of those who laugh and moan about "Cheeto Dust and Spaghetti," you should be fucking ashamed of yourself. Last time I checked, we were professionals. We were the ones holding ourselves to a higher standard than civilians. We were the ones that the rest of the country look to for reference on what a human being should be. We should be the ones leading the charge here! We should be going out of our way to help those people like Mickey Mouse, because the rest of the civilian pukes out there see us as an example on how to conduct themselves. Hows about we do the right fucking thing, eh?




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#1281405 · 1w, 1d ago · · ·

Scottish Pirate Metal  

#1280052 · 1w, 2d ago · · ·

That's a pretty bawsy sauce avatar you got yourself there.

#1274293 · 1w, 5d ago · 2 · ·

Having fun reading sixty six stories for The Most Dangerous Game contest? :pinkiecrazy:

I've not even read a quarter of them. I can only imagine what it must be like for you madmen who have to judge.

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