It's a beautiful afternoon in Equestria, with the sun shining and the birds chirping sweet melodies that fill the air. A perfect day to... get drunk at the local saloon and rant about mares with the bartender?

Part of the SALT Colab, it's a comedy with ponies and alcohol. HUZZAH!

WARNING: There is some minor alcoholic and sexual theming in this story. If you have no problem with any of those, feel free to have a laugh at the random rants of a drunken pony

For the past year, Spike has lov-liked Rarity. However, when Twilight lays down flat his chances with the beautful unicorn, Spike is devastated. By chance, he meets a strange pony, who offers him help on his love affairs.

WARNING: Some comments talk about the story and some very spoilerish things. DO NOT READ THE COMMENTS IF YOU HAVEN'T READ THE STORY! It will remove all the fun of some scenes. It is advised that you read first and comment later.

How do you buy something you require in a time of need? Here's how Twilight goes about buying a quill.

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Part of the SALT Colab project ran by RavensDagger. Also, my first upload ever.