Dark forces are rising in Equestria and in their hour of need Twilight and her friends must turn to an ancient enemy for help.
My name isn't important. What is, is that I'm human, I'm trapped in Equestria, and I have the appearance and powers of the Ghost Rider. So now, I got that crazy princess, Celestia, and her favorite tools after my flaming, boney butt. Things could not get any better. I probably shouldn't have said that.
Note: This story was loosely inspired by "Headless, Not Heartless" by Thadius0 and the LoHAV group when I asked myself what would happen if a person showed up in Equestria with the powers of a hero instead of a villain but the ponies acted like he was due to his methods and appearance. I hope you enjoy.
Note: Don't expect regular updates, I assure you that while I don't always have time to post chapters I am still hard at work writing this thing and you can expect multiple chapters when I come back after a long absence.
They say time flies when you’re having fun, but what they don’t tell you is that boredom makes time screwy. You see, for the last, I don’t know, couple thousand years I’ve been trapped in a simple oil painting. Don’t quote me on that time scale, every day seems the same when you’re stuck looking at the same bit of wood frame the whole time and only able to move your eyes a little to see what’s going on outside. I mean, sure, I can hear just fine but that only goes so far when you try to tell what’s happening around you.
Oh, wait, you’re probably asking yourself “who the hell is this guy?” Well to be honest that’s not important right now. What you need to know is that I’m human, I’m stuck in a painting that currently sits in a museum, and I don’t look anything like I should. For some reason, I guess you could call it magic, I have taken on the appearance of, powers included, the costume I was wearing to my high school reunion. It probably wasn’t a very good idea looking back but I had decided to go as the Ghost Rider. Yeah, you know the one, flaming, hell powered skeleton who rides around dispensing pain and judgment to the wicked people of the world and sending them all to Hell. I pulled out all the stops on this one; spikes, riding leathers, Harley Davidson motorcycle, and flaming skull prosthetic make-up. Oh, and let’s not forget the riders iconic weapon, the chain. I took some liberties hear by adding a weighted length of pipe to one end and a chain hook to the other. All told, it looked pretty damn cool.
But, I digress, I have no idea how I got here, not the museum smart ass, I mean here, this world. The last thing I remember was that I was heading to my small towns “convention center” for the reunion. It was already dark out and I was heading along on my Harley at a reasonable clip, when this big thing, may have been a deer but I’m not real sure, shoots out into the road ahead of me. I don’t remember much after that, except for the very pissed off looks I was getting from two very familiar princesses. So, if you haven’t figured out where I am, I’ll tell you, I’m stuck… in Equestria. Yep, and if this too much of a cliché for you, tough, it’s happening whether I want it to or not.
Why are you trapped in a painting when you should be out making new pony friends, I hear you ask. Well, that’s kinda complicated. I seem to have entered their world some time before Luna got sent to the moon and all the lovable characters I knew and loved weren’t born yet. That, and I may have had a wee misunderstanding with two particular ponies over some souls who may or may not have committed some very evil acts at some point in their lives that the royal duo didn’t know of, and I may or may not have killed, blinded, and/or maimed said guilty parties/princesses/guards because I was compelled to fill the role thrust upon my person by this cruel twist of fate. What? You don’t believe me? Well it’s true, I can see every sin, every dark act, and every act of kindness that these ponies have ever committed and I felt the need to balance the scales a bit. I mean, sure, everyone does something bad every now and again that they should be punished for, but not all of it fell under my tender ministrations. Hell, nopony cares to mention those I helped along the way.
Man, those two can be a royal pain in the a…..
I think I hear hoofsteps coming this way, must be another tour group, just another day at the Canterlot Museum of Art. At least I have my tricks, this’ll be fun.
“This way my little ponies,” came this sing song voice, I know I’ve heard it before but where. Give me a minute it’ll come to me. Hey, they stopped in front of me, that’s unusual. Wait, I know that cutie mark, it’s got three smiling flowers; I still can’t get a name though.
“Here we have a piece from an unknown artist and it dates back about fifteen hundred years,” close, but I’m sure it has been longer than that.
“It was discovered in a deep cave here in Canterlot,” You mean the basement of the Castle of the Royal Pony Sisters after they abandoned it, and me, in the Everfree Forest, “by an unknown explorer who brought it to this museum where it has hung for the last six years. Unfortunately, this is really all that is known about this painting.”
“Mith Cheerilee, I herd it wath haunted and that it would wath you walk by,” that lisp sounds way too familiar, but how?
“That is just a silly rumors somepony started to scare each other, nothing more. Now, many have speculated about what this creature is but none can really say for sure. So what do you think it is, Sweetie Belle?”
Sweetie Belle! Hang on I gotta extend my Sin Sense for a second... huh, the barrier usually prevents this working, but let’s see… anger but not enough for Wrath… desire bordering obsession, but what else is new for these ponies… here it is, her name is Cheerilee.
Cheerilee.
Cheerilee! Holy crap on a stick, I’ve caught up to the shows time line!
“Scary,” that innocent little voice says dripping with fear; I am now feeling about two inches tall and full of self-loathing for scaring her. I am truly a horrible human being. Hey, don’t laugh at her you little brats!
“It’s okay Sweetie Belle, I’m sure they’re all scar’d bi it too,” came a heavily accented voice, must be Applebloom.
“Ye-yeah, I mean nopony is as brave as us, so they must be,” nice one Scootaloo, but maybe you should work on getting that crack out of your voice when you’re nervous, it’s a bad tell.
“That’s enough class! Remember what happened last time you had an argument on one of our little field trips?” Wow, smart move there Boss, shutting it down before it gets started, at least now I now I’m at least in season 2. “Now, let’s move on,” crap, I didn’t even get to do the creepy head turn. What, you thought it was just an idle rumor about the whole watching thing, I gotta have fun somehow and that’s about all I can do. This sucks, I missed my only chance to see three of my favorite ponies because I wasn’t fast enough to recover from realizing it was them.
So, now if you’ll excuse me I’m gonna sit here and sulk for a while and… and what’s this. Something wicked this way comes. I smell pine cleaner, must be a janitor, but not one I’ve ever felt before. This one is… different. What do I spy with my Evil Eye. So, he’s steered clear of this hallway from fear and guilt, guilt at… you dirty bastard. He’s having dark thoughts about three particular ponies that are very close to my heart. I can’t believe this shit! Wait, he’s stopped and he’s about to lean on my painting. What was that? The barrier? It’s weak, it’s been weak and I’ve been to dumb and lazy to notice. He’s getting closer and the closer he gets to it the weaker the barrier gets. I can feel his crimes now… the dark hood he’s wearing… the fear of the foals as he takes them… the… my God… I haven’t seen anything like this before, and he plans on doing this to the CMC! I can see his eyes, they’re pin pricks now, the fact that I can see them means my head is turned, and he just realized he messed up.
It’s too late for him, the barrier is a fading memory.
There is no sound in the hall way but a small pop, an insignificant sound but with grave meaning. A light tan Earth Pony with a grey mane cowers on his back at the creature now before him, the creature from the unknown painting. It’s large, nearly six feet tall, and standing a bit away from and facing its strange fiery bicycle. It turns to him slowly and he can feel it’s eyeless gaze fall on him as it turns completely around. With a hissing voice like burning flesh it points and speaks three words like a death sentence.
“Foalnapper. Murderer. Pedophile.”
Scrambling to his hooves the little pony tries to run, tries to scream for help but before he can he hears the rattle of a chain as it raps around his body. Then he only feels indescribable pain as his body burns away and his soul goes flying into the abyss. The only sign that he had been there was a pony shaped pile of ash. The creature exhales slowly and turns towards its now empty prison, an empty view of a fiery hellscape where his bike was permanently stuck on its back wheel with his chain flying around and his gaze permanently locked towards the right side of the frame.
“Du yu girls smell that, it smells lak rottun eggs,” asked a familiar accented voice from around the corner. The creature panics as he recognizes the voice. He turns quick and straddles his bike but before he can work the kick start he hears another voice.
“Woah, that is so cooool,” this voice belonged to Scootaloo and it was right next to him. He turns his head slowly to look the three fillies in the eyes. They looked scared out of their minds as they realized that they were looking at the creature from the painting.
“If you think I’m cool, watch this,” it rasped as it turned in the seat to face its onetime prison. It extends its hand towards the painting and with a snap of its fingers, the priceless artwork bursts into flames.
“You might want to stand back now,” it told the three fillies and they did as it said with matching looks of terror on their little faces. He then, with the ease of a seasoned pro, kick started the bikes engine and sped away with a screech of tires and a demonic roar, leaving a flaming trail in his wake.
“I think... we’re going to get blamed for this,” said Sweetie Belle as she was the first to break their silence as the creature rounded a corner and disappeared from sight.
“Ohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh that was the CMC,” I spazzed inside my head as I sped away from the dumb struck trio, I knew I had to get a hold of myself before I made things worse by getting caught; nothing would suck more than getting locked back up after only being free for a few minutes. Time to prioritize: first, get out of Canterlot; second, find somepony that can help me get home; three, get even with Princess Sunbutt for locking me in that hell hole.
“Sounds easy enough,” I rasped as I sped through the hallways of the museum sending many of the patrons leaping for cover. Okay, new first priority, get cough drops, I sound terrible. I wonder if this place has a souvenir shop, probably does knowing these ponies like I do. I gradually started slowing down the bike as I scanned faces for a likely suspect to get directions from.
“Hey you,” I said slowing to a stop in front of a purple unicorn with a gold mane wearing a, and I can’t believe I’m saying this, Manehatten Mets jersey. He was looking a little worse for the wear but, hey, it’s not every day a monster from your worst nightmares stops to say hi.
“This place got a souvenir shop?”
Rapid nodding was the only response I got from Super Fan. Seriously, his name was Super Fan, the Sin Sense has never given me the wrong name before, and it just goes to show that ponies can be as dumb as humans when it comes to naming their kids.
“Which way,” I croaked.
“D-d-d-down t-t-that h-h-hallway, th-th-through the m-m-m-modern art e-exhibits,” he stammered out, pointing down the path I was following.
“Cool, thanks pal. Oh, one more thing, cheat on your taxes again and the next time you see me I won’t be quite so friendly. Do I make myself clear, Super Fan,” I wheezed out. He then promptly fainted; I guess these ponies aren’t as tough as they used to be.
With a quick turn of the throttle I was back rolling again. This time I actually was looking at the artwork as I passed by and all I can say is… wow. I’m no art critic, but this mess was complete crap. How anyone could ever consider a giant, knitted statue of a pegasus surrounded by butterflies a work of art I’ll never know. I continued to contemplate this as I rolled up to a little room near the entrance with a neon sign hanging above it that read “Gift Shop,” kind of obvious in hind sight. I killed the engine and dismounted the bike before I walked quickly inside to get what I needed and get the hell out before someone called the guards.
The shelves inside were filled with everything from mugs to t-shirts to reprints of some of the works on display, as well as a small area filled with drinks and hard candies. I even managed to spot posters of my own painting hanging out in a bargain bin; I briefly wondered if I should sue these assholes for royalties for using my likeness all these years. Oh well, doesn’t matter, I found what I needed, a small pocket size package of Ricoltla cough drops, freakin’ horse puns, I don’t think I’ll ever get used to them, and, just for good measure and curiosities sake, a bottle of Sweet Apple Acres Apple Cider for the road.
That’s when I noticed it, the silence, nopony was screaming for help and I didn’t smell bodily waste, so where was the shop clerk? It didn’t take me more than a second to spot her, Quick Stop according to the Sin Sense, behind the counter. She was fairly young with a short electric blue mane and a pink coat; she was also currently wholly engaged in reading some gossip rag. As I set my items on the counter she barely spared them a glance before she rapidly started hitting buttons on the register and returning to her magazine that proclaimed that The Great and Powerful Trixie was not so “Great and Powerful” after all, details on page 12. It took me a second to realize what had happened and that the register read 3 bits. So, I fished the last 5 bits out of my pocket, coins that still had the original founders of Equestria on them, and dropped them on the counter.
“Thanks, keep the change” I choked grabbing my purchase and heading out the door. Whether or not she even acknowledged me or what I was I’ll never know, I just hope my little tip can help her pay for her sisters operation. What, I may be the Spirit of Vengeance but, as I also said before, my job is only to balance the scales, one way or another.
Now, I don’t care what anyone says, opening a paper wrapper while wearing gloves is a real bitch, but at least I got it done by the time I had gotten back on my bike. Quickly popping two of the little mentholated tabs into mouth I started the engine and considered my exit strategy for a bit.
So, while I size this up I might as well explain the purpose of my stop. You see, being locked in stasis like that can be a real pain. Sure, you can’t move or interact with the world around you, but your body can still reacts to things. In this case, I haven’t said a word for a very long time so my throat, yes you can’t see it but it’s still there, was rather raw and scratchy, thus the raspy voice. Also, the drink was also for my throat but mostly, it’s good to keep up appearances. Yep, you guessed it, the state of my body keeps me from needing food, water, or sleep; it’s actually pretty useful, but old habits die hard so don’t judge me. Plus, sitting there for several centuries made my ass go numb, so I needed a stretch.
“Guess I got no other options,” I whispered to myself, at least those drops had started kicking in, I started rolling the bike back just to give myself a bit of a head start. A quick glance told me nopony was going to get in the way of the stupid stunt I was about to pull, and I gunned it. I smashed my way through the glass doors leading outside and flew off the top of the steps like a bat outta hell. As I came crashing to the streets below I cut a quick turn to stop my forward momentum and looked back at my handy work. Those doors and the surrounding frame were now a twisted mass shattered glass and smoldering wood.
“I probably shoulda just walked the bike out the doors like a normal person,” I said as I turned to face the group of stunned ponies standing nearby, “but it sure was a lot cooler… my… way.” The aforementioned group of ponies turned out to be a mixed bunch of about ten guardponies, and boy, did they look pissed.
“Evening officer, mighty fine weather we’re having ain’t it,” I joked trying to defuse the situation before it went to hell.
“Stay where you are criminal scum, we’re taking you in,” yelled a unicorn in the front that I had to assume was the ranking official.
“Whoopsy, gotta ride,” I shouted back at him as I gunned the engine and took off down the streets of Canterlot.
“WHOOPSIE, GOTTA RIDE! I've been away for way too long, my one liners have gone from 80's action movie awesome to bad Looney Tunes,” I berated myself as I hauled ass through the streets of Canterlot. I know what your thinking, hey Rider I thought you could hit 100mph easy and no pony can reach that kinda speed, shut up, you try to evade these clowns without running over innocent ponies. Yeah, that's right, the streets of Canterlot are packed in the middle of the afternoon, if this was late at night I could be out and away by now, but I guess beggars can't be choosers.
“At least there aren't any unicorns shooting at me,” I thought right before a bolt of yellow energy whistled pasted my head to take out a street sign, I really gotta quit temping fate like that. It was quickly followed by a fusillade of more shots, making it feel like I was being chased down by a pissed off rainbow.
“Okay, change of plan, I ain't getting away from them in a straight sprint, time to get creative,” I decided as I hurdled by ponies more scared of me than of the magic-y death bolts flying by obliterating everything they hit. Then, I noticed a brown earth pony take a hit from a bolt of orange energy and it didn't even singe his coat. That bitch Celestia must have taught them a spell that doesn't hurt ponies but screws up anything else, a.k.a. my bony butt.
With a quick thought my chains had turned into a short pole with a wicked hook in my right hand, as I looked for a likely target. There it was, the perfectly timed street lamp, maybe my luck was looking up after all, but that hope faded fast as the hook simply passed through the metal pole with only token resistance. Crap, I forgot to make sure the hook wasn't bladed, but with a resounding crash some of the shouting guards were silenced, hope I didn't kill anypony who didn't deserve it.
The next light was rapidly approaching and with a quick flick of the wrist the sharpened edge became as dull as the guards that where chasing me. Giving the engine a bit more power and locking my legs tighter to the bikes frame I got ready for what was about to happen. A few seconds later the hook on the end of my pole caught the street lamp full on and the direction of my momentum began to shift. It took everything my bony arms had in them, but with a slew of hot cobble stones and rapidly changing gforces I whipped the bike around in a tight half circle that left me heading straight at the pursuing guards.
“How about a game of chicken!” I taunted as I flipped my chain back around my body and the earth ponies locked shields in a phalanx in front of the retreating unicorns and a lone pegasus took to the air. This was starting to look hairy, I couldn't just blast through their formation for fear of accidentally killing an innocent, same for the sides with all the civilians still huddling in fear. A few feet shy of the their spear points I jerked the handle bars to the left and brought the front wheel up to crash full on into the nearest wall and continue on past them using the wall as my new road.
“I guess you win!” I shouted back as I sped passed the now thoroughly confused guard formation that had grown since I had first locked eyes on it back at the museum. No fair, calling for reinforcements.
I jumped an alleyway a few feet away from where I took out that other street light and could see four guards helping a fifth who had both his back legs broken, it was okay though, he had it coming.
With a quick flip I was back rolling along the cobble stone streets and, much to my relief, not being followed just yet. It was time for some more genius evasive maneuvers from yours truly to ensure those idiots couldn't catch up to me and get the hell out of Dodge before they called for Her Royal Bitchiness.
“Can't be that hard, can it,” I pondered as I took a quick right into a maze of alleys and brought the intensity of the hellfire on my tires down to barely above a warming haze. I took a few more turns and brought the bike to a stop behind a group of dumpsters to wait out these clowns, with any luck they would think I'd left the city and that would give me the time I needed to escape.
“Quickly, it's over here!” came a shout from above me. Looking up I spotted the source, the red pegasus from earlier, she must have realized what I had planned, sort of, and been following me as their little eye in the sky. So, I did what any reasonable, flame headed being would do I gassed it hard enough to cause the dumpsters I was hiding behind to explode into fountains of flaming trash. The burning debris should be a good distraction and be a bit of a fire wall to my pursuers.
I burst out onto the streets a moment later and started looking for a good way to shake this flying asshole before this got too far outta hand. Then, I spotted a nice six story apartment building that would be perfect to get this fool to buzz off. Kicking the bike onto its back wheel yet again I met the wall with much less force this time and continued on at the vertical, completely ignoring gravity, as ponies everywhere gasped at my physics defying feat of awesomeness.
It didn't take long to reach the top and with a quick jump I came down hard on the flat roof to wait for my little stalker. A few seconds later she crested the lip of the roof herself and started hovering a good ten feet above me. Dismounting, I unshouldered my chain and started whipping it around like a steel lasso.
“Yeehaw!” I shouted as I sent the far end flying out to wrap around her foreleg and started pulling her in. She put up a valiant effort but in the end she was no match for me superior strength.
“You're really starting to piss me off,” I hissed as I grabbed her by the throat with my free hand.
“Y-yeah, s-s-sorry,” she stammered with what little air she could get.
“That's a good guard, now run along before Wayne Brady has to smack a bitch,” I warned before releasing her and feeding out the chain still wrapped around her leg. When, she reached her original height I planted my feet into the roof and started to swing her in a rapidly quickening circle. I released the chains grip when I was sure she would be too dizzy to get back into the chase anytime soon and sent her flying away... straight towards Canterlot Castle, where I'm sure Celestia lived... fuck. Quickly remounting my bike I slammed it in gear and, taking a page from Batman's playbook, started using the roofs of the surrounding building as an escape route as I hopped from one to the next.
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Canterlot Castle
Celestia sat in her favorite room over looking Canterlot as she sipped her afternoon tea and enjoyed the peaceful serenity offered by this quiet nook of the castle that was forbidden to all except a few close associates. The day had been hectic to say the least, the nobles had spent it bombarding her with menial and selfish requests in the hopes that she would see things there way for once, she hadn't as usual, but that didn't stop them from trying. She was considering a vacation even though she was sure that all hell would break loose in her absence.
“Maybe I'm over reacting, Luna should be more than capable of handling them without incident,” she mused to herself as she took a long sip and let the tea's rich flavor wash away some the stress from her day.
“I just wish something exciting would happen, I need something to break the monotony of my day,” she sighed with a whimsical look in her eye. As if the universe heard her request, one of the many windows exploded in a shower of glass and her tea cup was knocked from her telekinetic grasp by a blur of red and flying feathers.
“Ah, Private Storm Kicker, to what do I owe this impromptu visit,” she said with a bit of irritation seeping out in her voice, even though her face still held its usual regal mask.
“Princess I have dire news, myself and the other guards are currently in pursuit of a-a thing,” the private informed Celestia as she tried unsuccessfully to get her eyes to stop spinning.
“A creature? Tell me, what did it look like?”
“Well, Princess, it was bipedal, it rides around on the strangest bicycle I've ever seen, and it uses a cha-”
“Was it on fire!?!” shouted Celestia cutting off the now terrified guard. She had never seen the Princess look so frightened and sound so worried in her entire life.
“Y-yes ma'am, it was. How did you know?”
“That doesn't matter, inform all the guards that they are to move into a position to contain this threat and to help citizens get to safety. Also, my Demon Hunters will have command and will be the ones to take the creature down, I don't want any heroics,” ordered Celestia with all her centuries of authority behind it.
“Yes ma'am, shall I also inform you sister, Princess Luna, of these events as well,” asked Storm Kicker as she made ready to fly out the way she came in and relay the Princess's orders.
“No, that will not be necessary. This is to remain strictly confidential, my sister is to not know of these events, is that understood?”
“As you command, Princess,” with a flutter of wings she was out the window and winging her way to the barracks to relay the orders given to her by the Princess.
“All this time and now it all comes back to haunt me. This time, I will not let you corrupt my sister and take her from me as you once did Rider,” whispered Celestia to herself as she watched the red pegasus fly away.
“Are you alright madam, I heard a crash and thought I should check in on you?” came the low voice of an earth pony maid, Tea Service.
“Yes Tea, I'm fine. Do me a favor, head down to the kitchens, grab a couple six packs of Apple Family Hard Cider and a bottle of Wild Pegasus, and meet me in my chambers, I'll meet you there once I get this mess cleaned up,” Celestia replied letting too much of her stress show in her voice.
“Right away Princess,” replied Tea Service as she slipped out the door.
“Please do not let this day get any worse, just lay down like a good demon and let my Demon Hunters kill you,” Celestia wished out loud before turning to repair the window and dry the tea spilled on the floor. She was going to need something stronger if she hoped to make peace with herself for the thoughts of vengeance she held in her heart.
“I just had to forget Canterlot was a tiered city, of all the things from the show to forget this was the WORST. POSSIBLE. THING!” I cursed as I weighed my options. I had been running for a solid hour at least, only to find out I had been herded right where the guards wanted me, completely surrounded atop the, admittedly, massive wall over looking the final tier of the city. So close, yet so far.
They had me dead to rights. To my rear was a wall of shields and a forest of spears, the same as the front. To my left was an entire squadron of pegasii armed with crossbows, all aimed at my head. To the right over the edge it wasn't much better with even more crossbow armed pegasii and whole lot more guards waiting for me down below. I couldn't see any unicorns in the crowd but that didn't mean they weren't waiting to make their move. In a word, I was Screwed with a capital “S,” I had underestimated this generation of guards based off what I had seen of their counterparts all that time ago and now they stood poised to bring me down with sheer weight of numbers, something even my healing abilities couldn't stop, at least not for long.
“So why aren't they attacking?” I asked myself out loud.
“Because I haven't told them to,” came a gruff voice from behind the shield wall in front of me, it parted slightly to allow a small group of five ponies to step through their ranks. They didn't look like normal guards, their armor was a patch work of black steel and cloth instead of the usual gleaming gold I had seen on all the others. The one I assumed had spoke was a large earth pony covered in full blackened plate with a massive war hammer strapped to his back, the only features that I could make out were his head and mane, a light blue coat with a black, box top mane style, the Sin Sense told me his name was Hammerstrike,”they know better than to act without my orders.”
To his left stood a pair of young unicorns, barely out of their teens, both dressed in black leather. One was white with a bright pink mane, the other was dark pink with a gray mane and they both had a number of wicked looking knives and daggers strapped about their bodies. My Sin Sense told me their names were Quick Strike and Backstab respectively. I figured it would be a good idea to keep my eye on these two, I had a feeling those horns were only there for show.
To Hammerstike's right was a bright green pegasus dressed with a bare minimum of armor and the rest of him exposed. He went by the name Divebomb and his wing blades didn't look like they were for show.
Further behind him I spotted a pony I didn't expect to see here. She was very hard to miss even with having traded in her trade mark pointy cap and cloak for a simple cloak of solid black and unlike the others she carried herself like a high class noble, though I knew it was all an act. With the light blue coat, silver mane, and magic wand cutie mark I didn't didn't need the Sense to tell me who she was. Trixie Lulamoon rounded out this little group in all her (not) very humbled self importance and much like all the others I got the distinct impression she was bad news for me.
“Yo, Trixie, what's shakin' bacon,” I shot at her, only for her to give me a look that one reserves for foul odors and those who kick puppies.
“I see you know our more... famous member,” responded Hammerstrike to chuckles from his other associates.
“Sure do Hammerstrike, you could say knowing pony's names is my special talent,” I goaded hoping they would make a mistake that I could exploit.
“Humor won't help you freak,” he shot back as cool as ice.
“So what, are you and your merry band of Celestia's pet warriors trained solely for the purpose of taking me down?”
“Don't flatter yourself, we are her Majesty's Demon Hunters and our job is to take down all of your ilk. And, we are very good at our job, I guess you could say it's our special talent. Now be a good demon and lay down and die quietly,” he stated and unlimbered his hammer readying it to strike and the siblings disappeared. Well, there goes my plan, time for plan B. I'll tell you now, when you're flying by the seat of your pants, nothing sounds more official than a plan B.
I jerked the throttle down hard and sent my bike hurtling straight for Hammerstrike. He didn't move, not at first, until I was about to run him down, then in one fluid motion he side stepped and brought the hammer down onto my left shoulder dislocating the joint and smashing my collar bone. The pain was near blinding, but I kept the bike moving and heading straight for the shield wall behind him. It goes to show that when death is on the line, anypony will break and as I rapidly closed the distance the front lines began to fall back. Then, what I hoped would happen happened, a guard went down with his shield on top of him and I fed the engine more power as I used it to launch myself through the air at the side of Mount Canterlot.
“Don't worry I got 'im!” I heard somepony shout behind me as I sped up the face of the mountain with a trail of fire and the needle on the speedometer knocking on 120. Looking to the left I where I heard the rapid beating of wings I saw Divebomb keeping perfect time with me.
“Fall back Red this isn't your fight!” he yelled at somepony on my right. Turning, it was that red pegasus from earlier, Storm Kicker, and she didn't look too happy to see me. To say I was more than a bit surprised to see her would be the understatement of the year.
The snow white cap was quickly approaching and in a burst of flash melted snow and steam, I flew over the top and out into the open air. With a quick pop my shoulder was back in place as I grabbed the chain from around my body and sent the weighted end to embed itself into the rock. Following a quick tug on the length of chain the wheels came back into contact with the Mt. Canterlot as I sped towards the bottom even faster with gravities help.
“I said fall back!” Divebomb, guess I hadn't lost my tail just yet. Looking him dead in the eye I finally saw a crack in his perfect facade, I wasn't sure how he did it but some how he was keeping information from my Sin Sense and even now I still couldn't make it out. All I knew was that he was part of something sinister and that I absolutely had to kill him now.
With a quick flick of my wrist the chain wrapped fully around his middle and with a mighty tug and twist of my body I brought him over myself and into a collision course with Storm Kicker. Before he could connect I charged the metal with hellfire and he burned away leaving several pounds of ash to fall directly onto Storm Kicker. Blinded, sputtering, and out of control she slammed into an outcropping going at almost full speed. The impact caused me to wince in sympathy, it wouldn't kill her but she would definitely fell it in the morning.
In the last few feet I kicked the bike out from the wall and let gravity take over before slamming into the ground. A quick look around told me it was clear and I brought the bike around to head around the mountain and towards the south.
A few minutes later I spotted a grove of trees off the side of the road that had a good view back towards Canterlot and decided to pull over for a break. I dropped the kick stand, killed the engine, and walked over to the largest tree to get a comfortable place to lean as the horizon turned orange to the west. Leaning back against my chosen tree, I pulled my bottle of apple cider out of my coat pocket and downed it in a few gulps; you have no idea how good it felt going down after all this time. I started scanning the cityscape as I relaxed there, it didn't take more than a few minutes for my eyes to spot what I was looking for, a white blob on the tallest tower of Canterlot Castle. Deciding to push my luck I stuck the bottle back into my pocket, no point in littering, and flipped the white spot the bird. Just like that it vanished and I heard hoofsteps coming up behind me.
“It smells like hypocrisy out here,” I joked turning, “Oh, hi Celestia. How's the leg?”
“Fine, if you must know, though it still pops when I wake up in the morning. Now, what do want Rider,” she said giving me her best death glare, oh the memories.
“Come on Tia, it has been so long since I've seen you. I mean, what's a broken leg between friends?”
“It's more than my leg you fool! I should destroy you where you stand for your insults and your deceit,” she spat back as the colors in her mane started to change to a bright shade of orange.
“You'd like that wouldn't you, but we both know how this'll play out. I can't kill you, the world's greatest sinner, because it would destroy the balance of this world; and you won't kill me because you lack the testicular fortitude to do it yourself. And if you think for a minute your little Hunter squad is gonna do shit to me, you've got another coming, I've already taken care of one of them, the rest are just a work in progress!” I raged stepping close and getting in her face so she could smell the brim... wow, I guess even gods need a bit of liquid courage every now and then.
“Why are you so angry, I don't remember you ever getting this much enjoyment out of killing before,” she said confused as she stepped away from me.
“Why... WHY?!? You took the only friend I ever made in this candy coated nightmare away from me and you left me locked in that painting, powerless, while it happened! So yeah, I'm more than a little pissed,” I said regaining my composure and walking back to my bike, “This conversation is over.”
“Rider wait, who is this friend?” I heard her ask.
“Your sister, Luna, the one you had murdered,” I answered as I started the bike.
“But how... she-”
“All this time and you never realized that I could always feel the presence of you two and that moron, Discord,” I cut her off before she had a chance to lie, “I felt it when she went, so now I'm making it my personal mission to find the pony you used to do the deed and I'm gonna bleed them slow. Then, I'm gonna come back here and pull your head off with my bare hands, balance of the world be damned. So send who you want after me, you'll just be delaying the inevitable and getting a bunch of good ponies killed process, because today was your only freebie and your only warning.”
She tried to tell me something but it was lost in the roar of the engine as I headed south towards Ponyville. My presence in this world had changed the course of events as they should have been, but at least I had a good idea of who I should “talk” to first.
-------------------------------------------
The Caves Below Canterlot
A cloaked figure mounts a stage before a sea of similarly cloaked figures and takes a deep breath.
“Brothers, sisters, and other exalted beings I have great news! The Rider has been set free and the plans that we have labored on for the last six years can finally be put into motion!” the cloaked pony spoke and was followed by the sound of cheers from the crowd. The figure waited a moment then motioned for the crowd to be silent.
“Make yourselves ready for the summoning of the Great Beasts of the End Times, for with their help we shall finally take our place as the rightful rulers of this world!”
“But what of our brothers who fell today,” questioned a well timed voice from the crowd.
“Yes, the sacrifices made by brothers Squeaky Clean and Divebomb are tragic but necessary if our work is to continue unmolested by those who would cast down out great works! But fear not, for they have earned their place of honor in our new world! Now make ready the offerings and ready yourselves for soon we shall rise and those petty tyrants of the sun and moon shall fall!” it proclaimed as the crowd worked itself into a frenzy of cheers and activity.
“Everything is going according to plan,” thought the obvious leader as he left the stage.
“Lord Darkhoof, I need to speak with you,” it was the voice from earlier.
“What is it, Brother Inkwell?”
“Sire, some of our members inside the guard have reported that they have found the sisters of three of the Element Bearers.”
“Interesting, the Great Beasts will need vessels if they are to truly be under our control and the irony alone will be well worth the effort,” Lord Darkhoof mused, “Tell me, where are they now?”
“They were evacuated to the train station and sent back to Ponyville during the chaos caused by the Rider, Sire.”
“Ponyville you say. Remind me, who do we have in that area?”
“The Peach Family, Sire.”
“Good, send word to them immediately that they are to capture, alive and unharmed, these three fillies and bring them to the ritual site at Weathertop.”
“Sire, far be it from me to question your decisions, but is it wise to send a family of zombified, pain-worshiping, backwoods idiots to do this job when there are so many more, and most importantly, safer options to use?”
“This is why I made you my number two Brother Inkwell, you don't mince words, but I have my reasons. The first is that they will get the job done no matter what. The second is because they're our zombified, pain-worshiping, backwoods idiots. Now, get that message sent, we don't have time to waste,” responded Lord Darkhoof as he trotted away, deeper into the caves that served as The Orders base of operations.
So, funny story, I've been heading south from Canterlot for like, a day, and I haven't seen so much as a wisp of smoke in the sky, let alone a pony who can give me directions. I guess my life is like a bad anime at this point. I mean, you'd think they'd invest in a few road signs to point people in the right direction, but no, gotta have a map and I was too busy back in Canterlot to get one. The show made this trip look so much easier.
“Damn, I gotta pull over,” I said outloud as I adjusted my damn chain for the umptenth time today. Pulling onto the shoulder, if you can call it that, I stopped the engine and dismounted. As I enjoyed the last rays of the setting sun I strode briskly into the open fields and took a nice deep breath.
“Okay! This thing is driving me crazy!” I shouted, ripping the infernal hunk of metal off and throwing it on the ground. Not my most shining moment, but I really didn't care, the bastard was driving me nuts... well, nuttier than usual any way.
I dropped down onto the ground next to my favorite weapon and began the task of meticulously checking it over. It didn't take long to find the problem, a section of five links twisted into uselessness. Hammerstrike must have hit them when he smashed my shoulder, plus the fact that they hadn't repaired themselves meant only one thing... blessed weaponry, or a blessed war hammer to be precise. That explains the unease I felt when they were staring me down, those bastards had played me like a fool in the hopes that I would fight, the only reason I wasn't currently trying to regenerate after that level of injury in a dungeon cell was my own decision to run and not kill everything in my way. Talk about dumb luck.
With a quick thought the damaged links fell away to the ground as new links formed between the two loose ends. A quick flip later and whole chain was back where it belonged sitting comfortably around my body.
“Now, lets see what kind of sorry state this world has reached in my absence,” I mumbled to myself. That painting had kept my Sin Sense locked in and it left me feeling like a blind man when it came to everypony but the Big Three, but now it was time to flex that old muscle and get my bearings. I entered an almost meditative state as I let the power flow through my nonexistent veins. Within seconds I felt the familiar head rush from the flow of information as I dove down into the deeds of the world's population.
It all came in quick flashes, a rape here, a murder there, and many other acts that made me sick at my ethereal stomach. Suffice to say, Celestia had really let the world go to shit while I was locked away, I'd have to rectify that problem soon or these beings would tear themselves apart. What was worse, a dark cloud hung over sections of Canterlot and other locations spread through out the country side like a curtain, my Sense couldn't penetrate it, which made me hella nervous. I made a mental note to look into that after I tracked down Luna's killer or it might put a wrinkle in my plans to kick Celestia's face in.
Then, I noticed something unusual, I decided to follow it and see where it would take me. All at once I was confronted with a glimpse of others, men and women, all in the same boat as me. A man turned unicorn with a golden, fiery aura. A living mountain of mutated flesh starring down abominations. An armored warrior that I swear was looking back at me. A king with a holy sword and blood on her hands, but not of her own doing. I saw them all, much like you can see the words on the back of a page when viewed in front of a light. There were a few who came in crystal clear however, souls so evil that they were beyond redemption and could barely be considered human anymore.
Satisfied, I began to pull back to myself so I could get back on the road again, when I felt that tug that said evil was nearby and innocent blood had been spilled. I quickly noted the direction, about an hour up the road in the direction I was heading.
Snapping back to reality I stood quickly and started to move back to my bike when I got the strangest thought. I turned back and looked to the length of twisted chain lying on the ground. It was plain, simple junk but yet I couldn't shake the feeling that it was a major piece of some puzzle. That some day... some how... this little piece of metal would be the only thing that mattered. That if someone “out there” were to have it, that all the world could be saved. That... it and myself were some part of a greater design that lead to greatness. Of course, it was just a feeling... but my gut had never been wrong before so why start doubting it now.
Reaching down to take up the length of chain, that feeling got more urgent. I'm not sure what drove me but I took it between my hands and “closed” my “eyes.” Slowly I began pumping it with hellfire till I knew the cracks in the metal glowed with energy.
“To all those who find this token,” I began speaking to the empty air and though I was out in the open my voice sounded as if I was in a dark tunnel, “call upon the Rider in your hour of need and I shall come to your aid. With all the powers of hell you shall have Vengeance and you shall have Justice. Your enemies shall be purged from the Earth and from their ashes, Innocence and peace shall sprout.” Kinda hammy in my opinion but I was never much of a poet any way.
“But be forewarned, if your soul be as black as your enemies you shall receive no quarter and shall meet the same fate as all who would do evil to others,” with those final words of warning I “opened” my “eyes” to see that chain I was holding had disappeared and there was only empty air between my hands. Walking back to my bike I couldn't help but wonder if I had done the right thing, some how I just knew that this little whim would come back to bite me in the ass, the Universe just hates me like that. Now, to go kick someponies ass to relieve a bit of the stress the last few days have put on my shoulders.
----------
It didn't take long to find what my Sin Sense had picked up on, hell, I saw the flames from a mile away. By the time I had arrived it was already too late, something had hit a traveling merchant, hard. I walked up into a terrible scene, off to the side of the road sat an over turned, blazing wagon surrounded by smashed crates and looted chests. There were hoofprints everywhere telling of a struggle and a whole lot of blood, somepony had died here, it hadn't been an easy death.
My first order of business was to get the flames under control. I spread my arms wide before reaching out with my mind and willed the flames to extinguish themselves. They responded to my thoughts and went out in only a few seconds, all flames obey the will of the fires of hell.
“Help”
Looking around for some sign as to the cause of the attack and who may have done it-
“Some... pony... help”
Okay, I definitely heard something that time. I thought I had imagined it last time but now I was sure, there was somepony who needed help out here.
I let my Sin Sense guide me to the faint signature lying a few feet away. An elderly stallion lay under a piece of broken crate, which I threw off into the night, and he was covered in blood. In the faint light I could see it shining as it ran weakly from gashes all over his body. His breathing was coming in short bursts and his eyes stared blindly up at the night sky.
“It's okay, helps here,” I told to him as I squatted next to his side to let him know it would be okay.
“Our daughter... they took... our daughter,” he said weakly, I could tell it taxed him greatly.
“Shh, don't talk, save your strength Old Timer.”
“Don't tell me to shush, boy,” for just a moment the steel of somepony who had lived a hard life came back to his voice before it was gone again, “the bandits... they took our daughter... you have to save her.”
“Don't worry, I'll save her,” I said as I took his hoof in my hand to give him some comfort before the end.
“Thank you... I never expected... a minotaur... this far out... from the cities... much less... anypony... to find... us... and,” and with that he was gone.
“Yes, a minotaur. Don't worry, your daughter will not be joining you on the other side tonight,” I whispered as I placed his hoof across his chest and reached up to close his eyes.
I realized he said “our” and a short search later I found the only other body. I had to assume it was his wife. She lay there in a pool of her own blood, her throat had been slashed, they must have thought she was in charge and took her by surprise.
I gathered up her body and moved it over beside her husbands and closed her eyes as well before I placed their hooves together to let them know that they were not truly alone. I found a slightly burned sheet and covered them with it, the dead deserve comfort and dignity.
I quickly checked the hoofprints to get the direction the bandits had headed off in, back from the road on the side the cart had been parked on. I scanned the horizon for any signs of life and spotted a campfire way off in the distance, using that as a guide I set off towards it and the soon to be former bandits.
----------
It took me a few hours to catch up over the open ground and from the look of the skies it had to be approaching midnight. As a precaution I had pulled the flames that surround my body down to little more than a heart fire inside my jacket, I couldn't have these assholes seeing me coming without running the risk of them using that merchant's daughter as a shield or scaring off some innocent bystander who might have information
A few hundred feet out I dropped down into a belly crawl and slowly made my way to the edge of the fire light and watched. I could see a dozen ponies wearing darkened leather armor siting around the fire swapping jokes and drinking from a wine skin, if the sway of some of them was any indication, with another pony on the ground a short distance behind and to the side of the largest of the group. A quick check of the Sin Sense told me that these were the ponies I was looking for and that were guilty of far more than this one attack. I'm not going to get into specifics but suffice to say, they more than deserved what I was about to do to them.
“Hey boss, tell us again about those murders in Canterlot again,” laughed a small pegasus pony as I inched closer to them. This was a bad situation, if they saw me too early they could kill the girl and that old couple would never rest in peace, and if I waited too long it could get worse for her if it hadn't already.
“Oh, that,” smiled the largest pony, “I must have told it a good fifty times already and yet you still find that shit funny Dark Cloud. Shit, all I did was take out some rich assholes and when the two guards caught me I killed one of them before passing the other a fat sack of gold to let me go.”
“HAHAHA That's the funny part, you ice that Donut Muncher's partner and he still takes the bribe HAHAHA!” I really don't like this bunch, but I had a few ideas about how to do this.
“So boss, what we gonna do with our little friend over there?” asked another earth pony as he nods his head at the mare, Perfect Count, currently tied up on the ground.
“Oh her, well, I got word of these cloaked Diamond Dogs who have been snapping up anypony for sale at top dollar. I think they call themselves the Order of the Blackened Hoof, or some horseapples like that, I plan on giving her to them. What with her being such a strong, young mare, I think we can turn a good profit, probably more than we'll get for all that junk from that wagon.”
“Any idea where they are?”
“Nope, all I know is that they'll soon find us on their own.”
“Good, I don't feel like having to answer any awkward questions if we get spotted carrying her around,” he said as he rose to his hooves and started to move away.
“Where you going?”
“To take a piss, mom, is that okay?”
“Yeah, yeah, smartass.”
This has to be my lucky day, I can use this clown as the perfect kick off. So I follow him silently on all fours as he makes his way to small bush a good way away from their little camp. When he gets there he props himself up on the little bush and starts to do his business. I wait for him to finish before I reach out and cover his mouth with my hand. Before he can struggle too much I grab my chain and with a thought it becomes the perfect weapon for the job, a wrist blade, and jam it into the artery in his neck. A fountain of blood erupts from the puncture wound as I retract the blade and let his lifeless body fall to the ground, face first into his own puddle of piss. I guess the guys who made Assassin's Creed had it right, this thing is really effective... and kinda fun, I can't believe I hadn't thought of trying it before. Of course, I have never had much time for a stealth kill, nor has it ever been my style.
With another thought the wrist blade is gone and a large ax is in my hands, I quickly use it to separate the head from the corpse at my feet. As I reach down to pick up the head I turn the ax back into every AC players favorite weapon and take my time walking back to the others, gotta let that paranoia set in, it's the perfect marinade for any occasion.
By the time I got back a few of them had noticed their friend had been gone a while, I didn't have to wait long for the rest to notice. Then, I spotted a small stick laying a few inches in front of me, I get the best idea ever to scare the shit out these clowns. Reaching my foot out I stomped down on the little piece of dry wood causing a loud snap. Instantly, all heads swivel in my direction as they try and see into the darkness, but the flames took away their night eyes, it'll be a while before they can see me.
“That you Clod Hopper?” the “boss” asks the darkness. I draw the head in my hand back and give it a good toss.
“No,” I growl out loud enough for them all to hear me just as the severed head lands in their midst. They look down into the unblinking eyes then back up to where I stand. I give them a quick flash of the fires in my eye sockets before moving silently away and around the camp knowing what comes next. Just as I knew they would they instantly panicked and threw spears and fired their crossbows at the spot I had vacated.
“Did we get him?” asked the pegasus who had been laughing earlier, to answer his question I summoned another chain into my left hand and sent it through his chest before using it to pull him into the darkness and my waiting arms on the other side of the camp. With a quick stab I put my wrist blade through his eye socket, he was dead before I took my first step to change position. Yet again, they turned and attacked the darkness, the herd mentality working against them as they moved, as a group, closer to where I had been.
As they finished I sent my chain out to wrap around an earth pony with a sword in his mouth and pulled him to me, he didn't drop it until I snapped his neck. Grabbing it before it hit the ground I quickly threw it at the last pegasus in the group. It hit her in the face and the tip exited out of the back of her head. She hit the ground twitching as I moved on to a new position.
To say their next move wasn't too bright would be the understatement of the year. They apparently thought that if they arranged themselves into a circle two deep directly around their campfire I wouldn't be able to surprise them and be forced to step into the light to get at them... they were almost right. Reaching out with my will I seized hold of the flames of their campfire and cranked the inferno up to eleven. The four standing immediately next to it didn't have time to do more than scream for a few seconds as the flames took hold their fur and burned them to lifeless crisps. With a second flash of thought I forced the flames out, leaving the area in total darkness. Guess it was my good fortune that a cloudy night with a new moon does nothing to stop my night-sight.
“Get some light you idiots!,” their boss wasn't as dumb as he looked, plus I had intentionally left the one unicorn in the group alone just for a chance to do something that would really make them crap their nonexistent pants. I got in close just as a light started shining from the tip of said unicorn's horn. It scanned across the ground for a second before finding my feet, and froze there.
After a tentative couple of seconds the beam of light began to crawl up my legs. The higher the beam rose the slower it started to move as the pony directing it became increasing nervous with each passing inch. The moment it crossed the neck of my jacket I let the restrained fires of my body snap back to full force and I stared them down.
“You,” I hissed as I pointed to the group's leader, “guilty.” I could see the their pupils go to pin pricks in the dim light I was giving off. Not one to waste the moment I stepped forward and slit the unicorn mare's throat with my wrist blade. I then took her body and slammed it horn first into the head of the earth pony standing to her side. I don't need to tell you what happened when I did this, but I will say the results looked like two earth ponies butting heads. This left just me and the leader of the bandit gang.
“Your hooves are stained with the blood of the innocent,” I growled into his face as I lifted him up by his forelegs. To his credit he managed to recover enough to grab his sword in his teeth to at least try to fight back, he screamed and dropped it as soon I snapped his left foreleg.
“I want you to feel the pain you put all those others through, the weight of all your sins, and the destruction you caused for your own gain,” at this he locked eyes with my empty sockets and started to scream even louder as power flared between us. He felt it all. I let the blind and stammering sack of flesh fall to the ground where he curled into a ball and jabbered on incoherently, still trying to blink the burned cinders that were now his eyes.
Wait... I'm missing one. Looking around I spotted the bastard beating feet off into the night, the coward must have run as soon as I killed the light... no matter. I picked up a spear from the ground and gave it a good arcing throw. I turned away from him and started moving toward their prisoner before I heard the short, gurgling scream.
She wasn't where I had last seen her but she wasn't hard to find. During the commotion she had shimmied behind the log the leader had been sitting on and was praying quietly to Celestia that the big, scary monster wouldn't come for her next.
“I guess there's just no winning with these ponies,” I mused to myself as I rolled her over onto her back. She was afraid and I could see fresh tears had fallen down her face, and that they had not been kind to her if the bruises were any indication.
“It's okay, your father sent me to get you,” I said reaching out to cut the ropes with the knife that had once been my wrist blade.
“Wha... my father,” she sputtered out.
“Yes, Old Timer. He sent me to come save you with his dying wish, who am I to deny that to somepony who has lived a life dedicated to good?”
“Are they-”
“I'm sorry to say they both are, there was nothing I could do, when I arrived, to save them,” I told her as the last of the ropes wrapped around her fell away, she moved quicker than I expected her to.
“Wait!” I shouted as she stood over the comatose bandit leader, his sword in her mouth ready to strike.
“Why? Why should I? This bastard killed them both in cold blood and was going to sell me into slavery!” she shouted around the weapon gripped in her teeth.
“Because, I've made him a non-threat to everypony from now on,” I said moving to kneel by her side, “I made him feel all the pain he has ever caused to anypony a hundred fold. He's currently locked inside a hell of his own making and I promise you he will never get out.”
“But what about-”
“No, there are no “buts,” if you take the life of this helpless pony you will be no better than him, and I'll have to treat you just like him and his friends,” I let that fact sink in for a moment before reaching out and gently taking the sword from her slack grip. With a long wail she started crying and I did the only thing I could, I pulled her into a hug and let her cry into chest. The pony on the ground mumbled something I didn't like, so I moved a hand away from Perfect Count and gave him a quick backhand.
We must have stayed like that for an hour before the exhaustion and trauma of recent events caught up to her and she fell asleep in my arms. I decided it was as good a time as any and gathered her up to take her back to the cart so she could sleep away from this part of her nightmare, though I feared the morning wouldn't be any kinder.
----------
The benefit of not needing to sleep was that I could accomplish everything that needed doing, this included finding the bandit's stash and moving it back to the wagon where it could be reloaded . I'd also moved the Harley up and used my emergency supplies to give Perfect a comfortable place to sleep and bandage her horn... yeah, she was a unicorn and they had cut it off almost flush with her skull to keep her from fighting back or escaping with magic. It would eventually grow back but she wouldn't be able to use her magic till it did.
With the first light of dawn Perfect began to stir.
“Hey, hey, take it easy there,” I said to keep her from hurting herself accidentally.
“Who are you?” she asked groggily barely sitting up.
“Call me Rider, everypony else does, and what do I call you?”
“I'm Perfect Count, but you can call me Perfect. Huh, I thought I dreamed you... so that means it all happened and wasn't just a bad dream.”
“Unfortunately not.”
“...”
“Want some breakfast, it's not much but it's what I could find,” I said to break the silence before she started to cry again.
“I'd like that very much, thank you.”
Moving over to her side I handed her a canteen of water and some biscuits that I had found in one of the bandit's saddle bags. She took the offered items and wolfed them down greedily.
“They weren't my parents,” she told me as she finished eating and got to her hooves.
“Excuse me?”
“Old Timer and his wife, Cherry Blossom, they weren't my parents. I was an orphan living on the streets of Manehatten when they found me. Old Timer saw my talent with numbers and took me on as an apprentice. I guess since they never had foals of their own they considered me their daughter, though they never told me they thought that. Of course, I always thought of them as my real family... my only family... and now, I'll never have the chance to tell them that.”
“Family isn't who we are born to, it's who we surround ourselves with that bring light to our lives.”
“Wow,” she said looking up at me with a smirk on her face, “that was really corny. I definitely didn't expect that from you.” At least she bounces back quickly.
“You wound me so, Perfect,” I said acting out her like she had wounded my heart, “So, what do you wanna do now?”
“I think I'll take them back to Ponyville for a proper burial, it's the least I could do for them.”
“Ponyville, nice, I was headed that way myself and as such a noble gentleman I would be remiss to let you travel alone in your condition,” I said walking over to the cart and righting it with little effort, “that is, if you'll have me.”
“If you were headed to Ponyville already, why are you out here? You don't have a compass do you?”
“What do you mean, I just used the sun as a guide to orient myself after I left Canterlot.”
“Really? So you didn't notice the sun came up from the wrong direction yesterday morning?” she asked, giving me a look that said I was probably the dumbest person she had ever met. At that moment, I realized that Celestia had gotten a bit more cunning since she locked me away, but I had to admit it was a pretty good trick to slow me down.
“No, I didn't notice,” I said admitting defeat.
“I guess I have no choice but to take you with me then,” she said with a grin, “So, you got a plan or are we carrying everything on our backs?”
“I got something,” I said as moved my Harley into position between the posts of the burned out cart. I then summoned up a chain and used it to lash the two vehicles together. It took a bit of convincing to get Perfect to believe I had a plan and even less to load everything into the wagon.
“You ready to roll?” I asked as I seated myself on the bench and pulled Perfect up next to me.
“Yeah. So... now what?”
“You might wanna hold on,” I said taking up the chain I had running to the bike's handlebars.
With a pulse of hellfire the cart began to change. The metal bands that supported the frame blackened, the wood became tarnished chrome, and the wheels and bed were covered with flames.
“Stop, stop! You're destroying everything!,” she shouted into my “ear” as she grabbed me by my shoulders. Without a word I turned and with a swipe of my hand the fires parted to reveal the contents of the cart were completely unharmed.
“So, what's our heading?” I asked her turning back to the front as she resettled into her seat, blushing in embarrassment.
“Keep heading in the direction we're facing then, take a left at the crossroads. That will take us straight on into Ponyville.
“Good.” With a snap of the chains we were off with a full head of steam leaving a trio of flaming trails behind us as we headed on down the line. Off in the distance behind us the buzzards and other carrion birds had already begun to circle above the campsite the bandits had used the night before.
----------
Everfree Forest while the Rider took care of a bandit problem
This day really sucked. First, because of that bitch Celestia, she'd woken up with a raging hangover. Then, that worm Ink Well had found her and told her to take a message to the Peach family in Ponyville because it wouldn't look suspicious if she suddenly took off to see her family there. Then, came that long, rough train ride that didn't do a thing to help her hangover. Then, came the boring conversations and lies to her family about her job and the reason for her impromptu visit. To cap it all off, she was now traipsing through the Everfree, at night, looking for a family that she had only heard ghost stories about in her youth and her torch had burned out a good ways back. This was definitely not Tea Service's day.
“Well, well, well, what do we have here?” asked a stallion's voice.
“Looks like one of them there faincy ladies from Canterlot,” said another male voice from the darkness.
“I likes her dress, it's real purdy,” came a female voice.
“I don't have time for this,” replied Tea Service, unable to keep the fear out of her voice, “I have a message for Pa Peach from Lord Darkhoof.”
“Really now, and what would that be?” came the first voice, it definitely sounded like the oldest of the three.
“Am I speaking to Pa Peach? My orders were to give the message to him specifically.”
“Then speak yur peace lil' lady, I'm lis'nin',” came the first voice again.
“Lord Darkhoof would like you to go into Ponyville, there you are to retrieve three blank flank fillies. One is a yellow earth pony named Applebloom, another is a white unicorn named Sweetie Belle, and the third is an orange pegasus pony named Scootaloo. He wants you to bring them to Weathertop, ALIVE, as soon as possible. Also, you are to proceed with caution as they are sisters with three of the former Elements of Harmony,” she said to the darkness with a little more courage than before.
“Will do. Junior, take a letter. Tell Lord Darkhoof that we will collect 'em in two nights durin the storm the weather team has planned,” came the voice of Pa Peach from a lot closer than it had been before.
“But Paw, we ain't got no more parchment. We used it all up when we et that merchant that didn't agree with us,” replied Junior, the second male voice.
“Son, you should know by now, the universe always provides,” said Pa Peach. As he said that a cold, clammy hoof ran itself down Tea Service's spine and a little filly started giggling in the darkness.
The skies above Canterlot burned. The smell of burning bodies and decay hung heavy in the air and stung her nostrils. Everywhere she looked there was only ruin as she walked the empty streets in the hopes of finding the cause of this catastrophe. It didn't take her long to find what she was searching for in the royal palace as the wind began to pick up.
The ground of the central courtyard was littered with the bodies of fallen guards, all dead where they had fought. Further on she found the dismembered remains of the Draconneques, Discord, with a terrible smile frozen on what remained of his face. What truly disturbed her though was not the goofy snaggle toothed grin but the fact that parts of his body were still wrapped around the blackened form of Princess Luna as if in his last moments he had tried to protect her and failed, her blank stare giving testament to her untimely demise.
Continuing her forced pilgrimage through the destroyed castle she had always known she ultimately ended up inside the throne room, now only a single wall a holding up the doors that she passed through. As she looked around at the devastation she saw a sight that chilled her to the core, the demon that had torn up the city only a few days before on its knees. Surrounding it were the broken bodies of the mares made famous by their many victories against evil and heralded as the saviors of Equestria, the former Elements of Harmony. In its arms it cradled the forms of three little fillies, all dead and broken as much as the mares spread out on the ground before the creature. What she found most disturbing was that its face was turned up to the sky, blood running freely from empty eye sockets as if it were crying, and wailing as if it had lost everything that it had once held dear.
She heard a rustling noise from behind her and turned to face an even more gruesome sight, suspended from rusted iron crosses were the bodies of Princess Celestia and the Demon Hunters. They each starred blankly into space with empty eye sockets, their chests ripped open exposing their still beating hearts, as large carrion birds squabbled over which would get the first bite. Then, she froze for among the bodies hanging before her she saw herself.
“Only you can stop this,” came a far away voice on the wind that sounded like her own, “only you can prevent this.”
“Prevent what? I don't understand,” she asked the empty air and to her horror her suspended doppleganger turned its head to face her.
“You must not let the Rider fail,” it weezed to her.
“Fail, fail how? What happened here?”
“The Rider must not fail... for this world and others... he must not fail.”
“Answer me! I don't know how to stop this if I don't know what to do!”
“Only you can help the Rider to succeed... must help him to succeed or all will be lost,” it may have had more to say but it was drowned out by screaming winds and a column of bright light that blasted its way into the smoke filled sky.
----------
Gasping herself awake she grasped blindly around herself trying to find something, anything, to free herself from the bindings that held her body in place.
“Easy there private, it's okay your in the hospital,” came a gruff stallion's voice and a heavy pair of hooves to hold her in place, “calm down, you'll reopen you injuries. I said calm down before I put you down! Doc you gonna get your sorry flank in here or what!?”
”Can't... breathe... help,” she managed to gasp as the binding around her body tightened their grip.
“Get it together kid, it's all in your head, it's just a panic attack! Just take a deep breath and you'll be fine!” the stallion ordered, still trying to keep her from hurting herself further.
“Where am I?! What's going on!?” she pleaded, some of the panic seeping from voice.
“As I said, you're in the Guard Hospital... in Canterlot.”
“Hospital, that's impossible! I had that thing right where I wanted it, what happened?” she yelled finally ceasing her struggles and getting her breathing under control, “and why can't I open my eyes?”
“That would be the bandages, Private Kicker,” came another voice, this one belonging to a mare, “you probably have some memory loss, you hit the side of the mountain pretty hard.”
“What mountain? I don't remember hitting a mountain. What happened to the Rider and that other pegasus that was chasing it?”
“We were actually hoping you could tell us what happened, we found you but there was no sign of Lieutenant Divebomb or his body. Care to try and piece it together so we can put this to rest?” asked the stallion as somepony began moving things around near Storm Kicker's bedside.
“He was that green pegasus, right?” asked Storm.
“Yeah, you both took off after that thing when it ran and we lost contact as soon as you both crested the peak.”
“It did something to him,” she said, the memories slowly coming back to her, “that creature, the Rider, it tried to slam him into me with its chain but he turned to ash before he hit me and everything and everything else is black. How long have I been out?”
“About three days,” said the mare as she began to remove the bandages from around Storm's head.
“It's curious,” the stallion continued with an hard edge to his voice, “the Princess was the first to call the creature that, but yet you know what it's called even though you were here, unconscious, at the time that information was revealed. You care to share how you came upon this information?”
If he could have seen her eyes he would have seen them go wide in horror at the realization that her dream may have been something more.
“I-I-I just thought the name was fitting given what I saw a-a-and with whom am I speaking, it's rather rude to not introduce yourself to someone who can't see,” she stammered trying to recover from her little slip and hopefully regain control of the conversation.
“I... am Commander Hammerstrike of Her Majesty's Demon Hunters,” the stallion finally said as the bandages around Storm's head fell away to reveal him. He stood there as if he owned the place, still dressed as she had seen him on a few days before on top of the wall. Letting that bit of information slip to a stallion who could make her life very interesting, not to mention short, was definitely not a good thing, she had to think of something fast or he might think she had something to do with the Rider's escape.
“Dr. Meatball, could you give us some privacy for a minute, please,” he asked and the good doctor calmly left the room. This was beyond bad, she was now alone in a room with somepony who could kill her without effort and not get reprimanded or arrested for it. But, then he spoke.
“It seems your little run in with our flame headed “friend” has left you blind in your left eye and me in a bit of a bind.”
“Blind. That's impossible, how?” Storm asked unable to believe he had just so casually blew off what she thought was a dangerous slip.
“When they brought you in they found a number of small cinders in that eye that were still burning, they said that the damage was unrepairable as many of the soft tissues had suffered third degree burns. Fortunately, the damage is unnoticeable and unless somepony knows of your condition they will never be able to tell there is anything wrong,” he said with a very strange calm tone to his voice.
“So did you come here to tell me about my condition and wish me a speedy recovery, or do you want something?” Storm asked getting very uncomfortable with his manner of speaking.
“Actually, I'm here to make you an offer,” he paused before continuing, “you transfer to my team, as we are currently short a flier, and I'll let your little slip go. I mean, it's a very predictable name and anypony could have come up with it... unless there is some reason I should believe that you and it have some connection.” She almost got away with it.
“And if I refuse?” she asked, already sure of the answer.
“You'll be moved to a holding cell while we investigate your probable connections with the Rider and see where that goes.”
“Well... I guess it's a good thing I'm taking you up on your offer then. When do I start?”
“In the morning, right now you need to rest and let the doctors do their work,” he said turning to leave the room, “I'll have your belongings moved from the barracks to a private room in our wing of the castle. Any questions for me?”
“Yeah, do we know what it wants?,” she asked hoping it might have something to do with her all too real dream.
“From what the Princess told me,” he paused for a good minute with his back to her before continuing, “it plans to kill her and quite possibly the Former Elements of Harmony.” And with that he left the room.
Storm Kicker couldn't believe her ears, if the dream was to be trusted she would be complacent in murder, and not just any murders, the murder of the beloved sun diarch and the mares who had dedicated their lives to the safety of Equestria. Warring thoughts raged in her mind, duty or the safety of all of Equestria, it was all too much responsibility for one pony to handle.
“What should I do?” she asked under her breath as she lay back in her bed and stared out of her window at the gathering storm clouds off in the distance.
----------
In a darkened room sat a young unicorn filly with a purplish grey coat and blonde mane in the only pool of light, around her were the forms of three others. The darkness that filled the room and the concealing robes hid their features from the filly as she waited for them to them to speak.
“Um, girls, is this entirely necessary, it's kinda weird,” said the little filly, finally breaking the silence that had hung about them for far too long.
“Yes, yes it is, this is a secret society after all,” came a scratchy reply from one of the figures before it continued, “now, is there anypony here who will speak for this poor, blank flanked filly.”
“I shall speak for her,” came a second voice, this one with high pitched chirp, “she has expressed her desire to join our hallowed ranks and her desire to find that one thing that makes her unique among the herd.”
“Has she already completed her first task in the endeavor to find her Cutie Mark?” asked the scratchy voice.
“She has. She aided me and my sister today in the orchard,” came a third voice with a southern twang, “and though she failed to obtain her prize, her dedication to the Cause has not wavered. I motion that she be allowed to join our ranks.”
“I second the motion,” chirped the second voice.
“Then, it is done,” came the first voice, “We welcome you, Dinky Doo, into the fold.”
With a flurry of motion the lights in the room came on and the robed figures removed their hoods to reveal themselves to be The Cutie Mark Crusaders.
“Seriously, was all that necessary? You could have just said I was in,” deadpanned Dinky at the antics of the other fillies.
“Not really, but it was kinda fun,” answered Sweetie Belle as she moved over to a table set up to the side to fetch the groups newest member a glass of punch.
“True, but she does have a point, we coulda been relaxing instead of setting up that elaborate ceremony,” added Applebloom as she tied a cloak around the neck of the group's newest member.
Unfortunately, before the conversation could continue they were interrupted by a series of hard knocks on the tree house door.
“I'll get it,” said Sweetie as she passed the glass over to Dinky and headed for the door. Upon opening it she really wished that she hadn't. Standing in the dying light of day were the last ponies anyone of them ever expected to be there, Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon.
“Are you just gonna stand there or are you going to move aside so we can put our stuff down, it's really heavy,” said Diamond Tiara as she forced her way through the door and the two bullies threw over-night bags and sleeping bags into a corner.
“What are you two doing here, this is a private slumber party!” shouted Scootaloo taking a fighting stance and Silver Spoon began to play nervously with her mane.
“Your sister, Applebloom, talked to my Daddy and they decided it would be good for all of us if we tried to work out our differences in private so that we would stop all of our fighting,” responded Diamond Tiara with an uncharacteristic look of unease on her face, “and... we need to talk to you three about something important.”
“And what would we have to talk to you about?” asked Applebloom taking up a position beside her friend.
“We saw it too,” blurted out Silver Spoon, “that thing that attacked Canterlot while we were at the museum and destroyed that painting.”
“Wait, you saw it too!?” shouted Sweetie Belle.
“Um, saw what? What are all of you talking about?” asked Dinky in genuine confusion at the entire exchange.
“Grab a drink and take a seat,” Applebloom told the two bullies and her new, confused friend, “we need to have a long talk.”
Not many people are aware of this, but hellfire is quite talented. Sure it can roast a guy in under a second but that doesn't mean it can't do other things. In this case we were bouncing along an old wagon trail with Aerosmith blasting to all those within earshot, which I believe is about a half mile radius.
Perfect seemed to be enjoying herself well enough, all things considered and was trying her best not to laugh her ass off at my expense. Ever since we had turned toward Ponyville I had been getting pelted with Random Objects from the Knowhere. What do I mean by random? Let’s see, there was that playing card that apparently had been stuck between my front top teeth without me realizing it until Perfect couldn't hold her giggles in any longer, about 20 minutes later. Then there was the time I almost wrecked because I suddenly found myself unable to see, that was decidedly less funny right up until I got the cart stopped and turned to Perfect. That's when she promptly fell off her seat and hit the ground laughing when she saw that I had a mismatched coin in both of my eye sockets. Before I could comment however, a fairly large tome decided to make itself known by introducing itself to my yam sack rather forcefully. Sometimes it's nice to be reminded that despite the fact that I'm a flaming killing machine, I'm still human underneath… this wasn't one of those times.
Back in the present we were bouncing along to the last few notes of “Sweet Emotion” when a thought popped into my head and I just had to give voice to it or would bug me from now on.
“Hey Perfect... can we talk?” At least my voice wasn't squeaky anymore.
“Sure, what's up?”
“How come you're being so cool about traveling with me?”
“Besides the fact that this seems to be the safest place to be right now?”
“That's debatable,” I mumbled under my breath.
“What was that?”
“Nothing, just talking to myself.” She didn't seem to buy it but continued anyway.
“I guess I just feel safe when I'm near you, like I'm supposed to be nearby for some reason. Does that make any sense?”
“Not really, it's just that I'm used to ponies screaming “oh sweet Faust, somepony save us” the moment they lay eyes on me. I guess it has to do with the whole flaming skull thing, but nopony has ever trusted me.” I felt bad lying to her about being trusted, but that bit of information is best left unknown.
“Why wouldn't they? Apart from looking like you crawled out of somepony's nightmares you seem to be a fairly nice Minotaur.” There's that word again, I guess Minotaurs are more common these days than I thought, time to break the illusion though.
“I'm not a minotaur.”
“Sure you are, there aren't any other biped races in all of Equestria.”
“Look at me, do you see any horns?”
“No,” she said with a bit of worry creeping in to her voice.
“Does my skull have a shape that you would usually attribute to somepony like that?”
“No,” she responded trying to edge away, not liking where this conversation was going.
“So then tell me, what do you think I am?”
“Y-y-y-you're a d-d-demon, but there hasn't been one of those in Equestria in nearly two hundred years,” she stammered out.
“Eeeeehhhh, I'm sorry, but the answer we were looking for was Human.” The look on her face when I said that can only be described as a mix of confusion, humor, and concern that she may be traveling with an escaped mental patient... so that may be a little true.
“What's a human?”
“It's a species that does not exist on this world and does not normally look like this,” I said gesturing to myself, “In fact, where I'm from this... thing... that I am here is a fictional character that I dressed up as to go to a party.”
“That is weird. Can't you change back?”
“In all honesty, I should be able to. I guess it has something to do with the background magic of this world that keeps me this way. It should work to my advantage though, seeing as I have a bit of vengeance to deal out.”
“Vengeance? For what?”
“The assassination of Princess Luna by her sister Celestia.”
“WAIT!?! ASSASSINATION!?! WHEN!?!” Okay, that wasn't the response I was expecting.
“Back when she first came back from the moon, if my Sin Sense is to be believed.”
“What? That's not right, she was in Trottingham over a week ago and she bought a few things from my father while she was there. That doesn't make any sense because she's been back for the last four years.”
“Horseshit! I have always been able to sense the sisters and Discord no matter what. When she was gone I could tell she was still alive because it was like looking at her through a dirty window. So don't tell me I'm wrong on this because if I am I just threatened the one being on this planet that has the resources and power to take me out.” Please let it just be a misunderstanding, please.
“I'm not lying; as far as anypony is concerned she came back from her exile on the moon and is here to stay.” Shit.
“I know you're not, that’s the worst part. I can see when somepony is lying to me and if it was an illusion you'd be picking your teeth up off the ground as calling an illusion the truth is lying whether you know it or not. Oh God, can this day possibly get any worse?”
“Probably not, but you might wanna pull over now, we just hit the outskirts of Ponyville. Maybe Princess Twilight can help you.” I guessed as much as she was the most likely suspect to have done the now defunct deed.
“I guess you're right,” I said feeling a bit down about my life expectancy for the next few days as I pulled the cart to a stop, “so where can I find her?” Really there were only two options at this point but I wasn't going to take a shot in the dark on this one.
“She lives at Castle Harmony, near the center of town; you can't miss it since it looks like a really freaky tree.”
That was nice to know, at least I'm past the fourth season, but why couldn't I sense Tirek when he showed up. Things really aren't adding up here lately.
“Does anypony else live there?” I asked already sure of the answer as I unhitched my bike and the cart returned to normal.
“Just her and her assistant Spike, he's a dragon by the way so you might wanna be careful.” The day a dragon worries me is the day I swear fealty to Celestia, but at least I don’t have to worry about her friends being there.
“I'll keep that in mind,” I said not giving too much away, “you head on in and I'll swing by and pay the Princess a visit after night fall. You be careful on your way home, you're still not back to a hundred percent yet.”
“I will. You just make sure none of the local guards spot you, I wouldn't want you doing to them what you did to those bandits.” she said with a shudder.
“Don't worry, I won't,” I replied as I wheeled my bike of the road into some bushes and killed the flames.
“Alright I'm trusting you on this, don't make me regret it,” she said as she began walking away with her cart in tow and storm clouds began taking shape over Ponyville.
-----
“Come on Twi, you need to get some sleep. This can't be healthy.” Said the young purple dragon to the lavender mare as she paced the floor of the council room, much as she had for the last several days.
“I can't sleep Spike. First, the Princess starts raising the sun from the wrong direction, and then she sends me a letter to be on the lookout for sightings of some sort of monster that I can't find in any of my reference books. I have no idea what to do and it's driving me crazy!” she shouted as the rain continued to pour outside.
“It's probably nothing; she's probably just pulling some sort of prank to mess with you. You know how she can get when she's bored.”
“Yeah, but that doesn't mean it could be something we should be worried about.” Spike just sighed in aggravation as Twilight continued her pacing, he'd tried that argument several time already but it was still worth a shot.
“Well if it is something bad, you'll be too tired to do anything about it in your current state, so why not try and get some sleep?” He wasn't sure it would work but maybe this new tactic would get through.
“You're right Spike, I really should rest,” replied Twilight as she took a seat on her personal throne. Spike, to his credit, didn’t let his surprise at this sudden turn of events show on his face.
“How about some t-”
BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!
“Who could that be at this hour?” Spike asked after being interrupted by the unexpected knocks.
“Spike! Don't go!” whisper yelled Twilight as the young drake put his hand on the knob to council room door and turned.
“What, why?” asked Spike in confusion as he slowly opened the door.
“Because the knocks... came from... inside... the...” Twilight began as her voice trailed off as her eyes went wide at the site of the creature standing on the other side of the door. It was like nothing she had ever seen or would ever wish to see. To her it was like looking upon the works of a madpony.
“You know, you should really get more guards, I just walked across Ponyville and in through the front door without see a single one of them.” Then, it was suddenly engulfed in green flames.
-----
Okay, that was unexpected but nothing I can't handle. With a snap of my fingers the flames vanished as the source gave a small strangled choke and I got a full view of the room. It was almost as if I was just watching that finale again for the first time, of course it was all ruined by a very tired and disheveled Twilight standing on the table with her horn pointed at my chest.
“I wouldn't do that if I were you,” I told her flatly.
“Watch me,” she said. It was quickly followed by a flash of purple sparks and her hitting the table unconcious.
“Told you,” I said moving over to check to make sure she was alright.
“Get away from Twilight you freak!” shouted Spike as he made a leap at me trying to claw me to death. Unfortunately, I'm much faster and caught his face in my hand.
“Let me go!” he demanded as he continued to struggle against my iron grip. I had to hand it to him; the kid had guts, just wish he had more brains though.
“Spike! Shut up and listen! I'm not here to hurt either of you.”
“Why should I believe a monster like you?” he shot back still continuing to fight. He really had a point but I had a better one.
“Because, Twilight is alive but unconscious from doing what I told her not to do. I have you by the face with one hand, but you haven't been able to break free which should let on that I probably have the strength to crush your skull like grape.” With that last bit he deflated a bit as the fight went out of him. Good, he'd be more open to talking now.
“I want you to go into the kitchen and bring a coffee, black with four sugars, for me and one for each of you made the way you each like it, we're all going to need it,” I instructed as I sat him down and released my grip on his head, “Oh, and don't try to contact anyone just yet, you won't be able to use your fire breathe just yet and I would hate to have to do anything to Twi while you were running around looking for help.” An empty threat, I'd never do anything to an innocent, but he didn't have to know that yet.
“Sure, I’ll get right on that coffee,” he said as he retreated with a look of fear and worry in his eyes, he was not going to be happy when he found out I was bluffing.
“Mmmp,” came the moan of a certain Alicorn as she tried to rejoin the land of the living, “Where am I?”
“You’re in Hell,” I stated simply as I leaned over into her field of vision. She passed back out in fear this time; I just can’t help myself sometimes.
-----
It took a bit but Spike finally returned with our drinks and managed to get Twilight up and running again. So here we sat, sipping on hot coffee while Spike gave me the occasional death glare and if I still had a face I’d be grinning like the Cheshire Cat.
I'd spent the last hour explaining what was going on and who I was while they sat in silence. I even went so far as to describe all of my abilities in detail, so she could better understand my predicament.
“So what do you say, can you help a guy out?”
“Do you really expect me to believe that you’re not dangerous?” questioned Twilight, guess she was still a bit mad about me scaring her.
“I figured the evidence would speak for itself Princess,” I replied, taking another drink from my mug. At times like this it’s always best to not let them see you sweat… I could sweat that is.
“One time is not enough to establish a pattern.”
“What about what happened with Perfect Count,” I couldn't let her forget about that.
“Well that-”
“And the fact that I could have killed those guards in my escape, as well as Celestia when she confronted me, instead I went out of my way to not cause them any permanent damage,” I said, cutting her off.
“Be that as it may, you are still a wanted criminal for threatening the Princess,” she responded with a smug look. Sometimes I really hate these ponies.
“Actually that can be cleared up if you could get a message to Luna expl-”
“That's Princess Luna and Princess Celestia to you pal!” shouted Spike. Huh, I forgot what it was like to have someone with the guts to cut me off, good on you kid.
“I've known them both since long before either of you where an idea on the horizon, so I'll call them whatever I please. Especially since Luna and I are friends, all be it she’s my only friend.”
“Wait, you're friends with Luna?” asked Twilight with a bit of skepticism.
“Yeah, she started trying to exorcise and banish me from the mortal plane a long time ago while I was locked inside that painting. Thing is, we got to talking after her umpteenth failed attempt and she figured out that I was only dangerous to those who do evil. Pretty soon she was coming down just to talk and hang out and we eventually became friends. Of course all good things must come to an end as they say. She became Nightmare Moon and my biggest failure.” I answered solemnly as I finish the last of my drink in one pull, and wishing in had a shot of Jack in it.
“If you don't mind me asking, how is that your biggest failure?” Twilight asked after I let that little nugget slip.
“The story you know about how she became the Nightmare and why is all a lie. She did it because she was unable to convince Celestia to let me out to continue my job. So in her desperation, and against my wishes, she used a spell to claim part of my power as her own. After that, I'm not sure if the spell succeeded or failed since magic works funny on me, she changed into the monster that everypony fears. As much as I don't want to think about the cause, I can't help but think she succeeded but got a hold of something inside me that got a hold on her instead. That or the glimpse into my being finally gave something inside her a way out. All I know is, after that the next pony I saw was Celestia and she vowed to do everything in her power to ensure that I could never corrupt her sister again.”
“Dude, that's harsh,” added Spike.
“Now you see why I might have jumped to the conclusion that she was dead, especially since I can normally see the “signature” of the world's super beings.”
“Doesn't that mean you can see me the same way?” asked Twilight.
“I should, but for some reason it's only working like it would for any normal pony.”
“I might have a theory about why that is,” she began as a familiar cold shiver went up my spine.
“Save it for later, innocent blood has just been spilled here in Ponyville… a whole lot of it.” I snapped as the information came flooding into my brain. Before I could say anything or move the doors behind me burst open and a rainbow shot past my head.
“Twilight! You have to come quick! The town is under attack!” shouted the cyan mare that the rainbow was attached to.
“What's happening and where?” I asked, forgetting what I looked like for a minute.
“Near the Everfree,” she said turning to face me, “and just what the hay are you?”
“That doesn't matter right now, you three stay here and don’t let anything happen to Twilight, I got this,” I said turning to leave.
“Where do you think you're going pal? And for that matter what makes you think you can boss us around like that?” snapped Dash as she zipped in front of me and blocked my path. I really didn't have time for this.
“He's somepony who can help,” relplied Twilight, “I’ll explain it to you but first you have to move and let him go.” Grudgingly she listened to her friend and fluttered to the side. Not wanting to waste any more time I made my way out the front door in a dead sprint.
“Do you trust that thing to help us?” asked Rainbow with a concerned look on her face.
“Yeah, I kinda do,” replied Twilight after a few moments of hesitation.
-----
Even in the driving rain with a raging storm over head it wasn't hard to find my way. I just had to orientate myself toward the Everfree and follow the screams. I got there too late.
“Oi, biggun', pick on someone your own size!” I shouted at the hulking form as it dropped the two halves of the guard it had in its massive hands and gained another foot and a half on me.
“What the fuck are you?” spat the monster as it stared down at me.
“I could ask you the same thing,” I said. This thing should have registered on my Sin Sense but instead it just keep appearing as a perfectly shaped hole in reality. There are only a few things that could do that, the most common being Undead. “What's your name ugly?”
“Name's Bubba Peach,” Crap not these clowns again.
“I could have swore I wiped you lot out before I got locked up, guess I'll have to start over from scratch wiping you worthless fucks off the face of -” I didn't get any further as a Mac Truck hit me in the mouth.
“Yeah,” I thought to myself as I staggered to my feet in a pile of rubble, “I must have touched a nerve there.” This guy was going to be bad news bears with the amount of muscle he was throwing around and, lucky me, I was about the only thing in a ten mile radius that could take it. Or at least I hoped, being locked in that painting hadn't done me any favors and I was still in dire need of some recovery time to get back to full fighting strength and so far The Universe hadn't been kind enough to give me a breather.
So as my jaw reattached its self to my face I couldn't help but wonder what building in Ponyville used concrete in its construction as I'd never seen one in the show. Looking around I noticed a mix of small plastic booths and metal tables. Then I spied the display counter full of items like you'd see in a bakery. There was also this hold candy motif from floor to ceiling, not my style personally but to each his own.
Now, I know you're going to tell me I was in Sugar Cube Corner since it's the only logical conclusion given the mountain of evidence but at the time I really couldn't think because of what I was seeing. I want you to understand something, I've SEEN some shit in my time, I've been in some very bad situations with no way out, hell, I could hear Tiny outside having a late night snack if the wet chewing noises were any indication. But none of it, and I do mean none of it, had ever prepared me for what I was seeing; a pair of bright, blue eyes staring at me from around a corner. Normally a curious watcher wouldn't be out of place but this was too much. Why? Because it was just the eyes, bent at a perfect angle, watching me and it freaked me the hell out. I guess Pinkie had fallen asleep in the kitchen and my entrance had woken her up.
“Get... Cakes... out,” I managed to mumble as my jaw snapped back in place. I guess she understood me because the eyes disappeared faster than I could blink. With that handled I decided it was time I got back to work.
“Hey! Retard! I didn't say I was done with you yet!” I shouted stepping back into the down pour. At my words my opponent slowly turned to face me with all the urgency of someone bothered by a fly, I was going to make him regret that.
“You should have stayed down Freak,” he said dropping the pony leg he'd been chewing on into the mud.
“I'm a slow learner,” I shot back with a flick of my wrists to wrap my fists and forearms in chains, “now let's dance.”
With a disgruntled snort from the undead Minotaur we both charged at the other at full speed. As we neared we both took a mighty swing and as our fists met in the middle I felt every bone in my right hand break.
“Shit! What the fuck was that!” I shouted as I danced away. In response all my opponent did was bang his fists together with a sound of metal on metal. I got the message loud and clear, his fists are literally made of steel and the necromantic magic that keeps him together lets him use them like flesh and blood hands. The undead never fight fair.
Before I could come up with a game plan he was on me again, this time with a blow to the ribs that obliterated a trio on my right side. He then followed up with a stiff blow to the gut that made me glad I didn't have guts anymore. In a move of desperation I kicked out and was rewarded with a sickening crunch as my boot collided with his knee, giving me the breathing room I needed to land a flurry of rabbit punches to his torso in the hopes of at least doing enough damage to slow him down. I didn't get my wish; however, I felt a cold steel hand grip my lower leg.
I'm not entirely sure what happened next since it's all a blur, but I'm pretty sure he gave me a Loki. Not sure what that is? Go watch The Avengers, then you'll understand. But I digress, the next thing I know this asshole has me in the tightest bear hug I've ever been in, guess he wasn't smart enough to know I didn't need air. Of course that wasn't the problem, the problem was the sound of bones starting to crack under pressure, so I did the only thing I could and started head butting him in the face. It took a few good blows but he finally dropped me as he clutched at his face.
I only had a few moments before he got his pain under control and the beating would start all over again, so I needed a plan. He had me beat in the strength department and in my weakened state all it would take is time before his necromantic muscle beat my low demonic reserves. I didn't really want to think about what that would mean for me in the long run but it couldn’t be good.
Just as my time ran out I had a brilliant idea, if I couldn't get a grip on him in a ground and pound I'd have to get him into a hang and pound. So I did the only thing I could to get a raging, undead Minotaur on the ground, I kicked him in the dick.
Twice.
As my opponent fell to his knees covering what was left of his family jewels I knew I only had a few moments before he recovered and came at me even harder than before. So with a quick motion I dropped the chains that had been wrapped around my arms and looped them around his neck twice before locking a hook around the links in the back to keep them from coming undone. Then in my best John Woo I took a running leap at a wall and kicked away to come to rest on the ground a few feet away with the chain draping over a street lamp. With a mighty tug I turned away and started marching forward dragging the chains behind me tight.
For a second there I thought my idiotic plan was going to work when I suddenly met resistance that I wasn't expecting. A quick glance over my shoulder confirmed my fears; the big bastard was on his feet and pulling in the opposite direction. I thought I might be able to pull it off as I managed two more shaky steps but that was when my luck ran out and I started sliding backwards in the mud. I was screwed if the brute got away from me this time, so to say I was desperate was a major understatement. Looking around franticly in some hope of an advantage I finally saw my salvation hanging in bright colors from a low hanging storm cloud and a truly insane idea took hold.
“Hey Dash,” I shouted to the not well concealed pegasus, “You suck!” That got her attention as the tale shook in response.
“Yeah, you heard me! I said you suck! In fact, I've taken shits that were far more spectacular than you could EVER hope to be!”
“You take that back, jerk!” she shouted back as her head popped into view over the end of her failed hiding place.
“Not gonna happen Cunt! But why don't you hit me with you best lightning bolt and I might change my mind! Of course I don't have any fear of that do I!” I shouted back as I lost another few inches, apparently my opponent was on to me. Before I could really even register it, however, I felt the impact of pure pain nail me in the chest. It wasn't enough; I was going to need more.
“You call that a hit!?! I can see now why the Wonderbolts keep rejecting your worthless ass!” Another bolt, this time with enough force that I was almost blown off my feet. If the desperate tugs on the other end of my chain and the sounds of straining metal were any indication, I was going to need an even bigger bolt and I was going to need it now. So I decided to break out the big guns.
“Ha! Your mother hit harder than that when your daddy forced it in!” I could see the fires of hate in her eyes from where I stood, it was time to drive it home, “In fact, the only reason you're even here now is because that limp dick bastard couldn't even figure out how to use a coat hanger properly!” I'd barely gotten the words out of my mouth before my world went bright white and a pack of rabid greyhounds started chasing a 1.21 Jiggawatt rabbit through my non-existent veins.
It took me a few moments to shake the cobwebs loose and for my senses to come back one at a time. First was my ability to feel, and sweet, merciful Lord did I hurt in so many places. Then my sense of smell, if the scent of charred flesh was indication, came drifting back like an old friend. Next, was my vision which revealed the furious eyes of a certain pegasus that I had recently insulted. I knew my hearing had finally faded back in when I finally heard what she was saying.
“-ever hear you say anything like that about my parents again,” apparently she was still mad about what I said, “I will personally come down and literally break-”
“Thank you, Dash,” I said cutting her off with a hand around her muzzle as moved to a sitting position, “you just saved my ass back there.” The confusion on her face told me she hadn't really been watching what she was doing.
“Help me over to that bench and I'll explain,” I said as I moved my hand away and she helped me limp over to the indicated seat.
“This street is a disaster,” I thought as I eased myself onto the wooden seat. I then rummaged around in my jacket pocket to find my pack of smokes, only to be disappointed as I had to drain rain water from the pack and making a note to talk to Perfect about another pack later. A few moments of digging yielded the only salvageable cigarette I could find, and after deciding it wasn't worth it any more, I dropped the remainder into a pile of detritus from a trash can that had been knocked over during the struggle.
“At least is stopped raining,” I muttered to myself as I tried not to think about the oddly skull shaped imprint in the side the trash container and light my cigarette for a long drag.
“I don’t know why, this storm was supposed to last another hour or so,” she said holding out her hoof as if to catch a falling rain drop that never came.
“From what I gathered when I first encountered the more offensive side of the weather, it’s tied to your emotions on some fundamental level. And frankly, you put enough anger into that last kick that it channeled all the magic the storm had left into a single bolt.”
“How’d you figure that out?” Guess she’s not too quick on the up take.
“I had a group of pissed off weather ponies try it before. Fortunately, I was able to get away as at the time I wasn’t sure what would happen since me and magic have a very strange relationship,” I said as a I exhaled a cloud of blue smoke. “Guess I didn’t have anything to worry about after all.”
“Wait. You had no idea what would happen and you still wanted to get hit, you’re insane.”
“Only a little bit. But that’s neither here nor there.”
“Huh, that explains a bit.” I had to commend her; she was taking this conversation in stride. “So, you mind telling me what the hay you mean about helping you?” Either she’s just naturally slow or she’s crashed into one to many solid objects head first to not have figured out what was going on by now, so I made a mental note to get her a helmet for Christmas.
“I needed that super powerful bolt lightening in the hopes that it would overcome the necromantic magic holding that bastard together,” I said indicating the fried out corpse, “and fry his ass where he stood before he could tilt the fight back in his favor and I ended up taking a permanent dirt nap. The fact that it topped of the old power tank was just an unexpected bonus.”
“Wait,” worry and panic creeping into her voice as tears began to well up in her eyes, “You mean that I...”
“No,” I reassured her, “you didn't kill him. He died long before tonight. That thing was nothing more than a soul less killing machine. All you did was put the natural order back in balance.”
“I still don't get it but I'll take your word for it.” She said wiping away a few errant tears. “So what are you exactly?” Fear setting in as she finally realized who she was having a chat with.
“That, Dashie, is a long story; one for another time in fact. For now, let's just say, I'm a friend that you didn't even know you had, and leave it at that. Okay?”
“Whatever dude.” She said shaking her head in irritation. It’s fun being mysterious from time to time.
“So how come you didn't stay behind and guard Twilight like I told you?” I asked as I flicked my butt into a nearby puddle.
“That… is a long story for another time. For now, let's just say, I came to help a friend that I didn't know I had,” she said giving me a devious smirk.
“Smartass.”
Unfortunately, that is when The Universe decided to interrupt our little moment as a large explosion rang out into the night sky as a large plume of fire and smoke rose up from the near the edge of the Everfree Forest.
“Shit,” I swore to no one in particular, “that must be the rest of the Peach family. Dash, what's in that direction?”
“Sweet Apple Acres,” she said, worry in her every word as she took to the air.
“Shit.” That was quickly becoming my favorite word tonight. Shoving my fingers in my teeth I gave a shrill whistle and in response my bike came rolling up like a faithful steed.
“Nice ride,” remarked Dash.
“Thanks. I need to get to Sweet Apple Acres via the fastest route possible, for that I'm gonna need your help one last time, you up that?” I asked straddling the seat.
“Hay yeah I am! Think that heap can keep up with me?”
“That ain't going to be a problem. Now, let's ride!” I shouted as I gunned the engine and we began making our way towards Sweet Apple Acres, and what I prayed wouldn't be a massacre, at top speed.
If I had been paying closer attention at the time I would have noticed a stream of ash floating through the air on green fire headed in the direction of Canterlot. Would it have changed my mind about helping like I was going to? No, but it would have at least prepared me for the pain that was coming my way. Honestly though, I wouldn’t have it any other way.
I was nervous as hell as Dash and I sped toward a rising column of smoke and flame picked out against the night sky. I could tell Dash was just as worried about her friend as I was about the possibility of losing a Bearer of Harmony, or possibly worse, the CMC.
“It's not the farm house that's on fire, looks like it may be coming from the orchard,” Dash's shout breaking me from thoughts.
“How can you tell?”
“It'll be coming up on the right in a moment and we should be able to see the flames if we were that close.” She was right as the location as a small two story farm house shot by as we angled off into the heart of the orchard. I could feel my ethereal guts clinch as the flames got closer but the wall of trees that marked the border to the Everfree stayed off in the distance.
My fears were confirmed as we rolled up on a sight I never hoped to see, the CMC club house was engulfed in flames. It took us a moment to process the sight before us and I said a silent prayer in the hopes that this was the kid's doing and not the Peach's handy work. I was back at full strength after that lightning strike but even I doubted my ability to take on the Peaches if there were enough of them, they were one of only a few things in Equestria that could put me down and I really didn't want to deal with that so soon after getting free.
“Hey, look there's some pony over by that tree!” shouted Dash, breaking me from my own spiraling thoughts, as she sped over to a lump of red lying on the ground.
My nerves were at their breaking point as I made it over to see the slightly charred form of Big Mac lying on the ground.
“Mac? Mac? What happened?” I could hear the panic in her voice and see the tear as they began to form in her eyes.
“Mmph,” was her response as the large stallions eyes slowly opened.
“Come on Mac, where is Scoots?” she was frantic by now and I could see the tears in the fire light as they rolled down her face. This wasn't good, a sleep over was one of the worst things that could happen right now. Just so long as the Peaches weren't involved this night might just have a happy ending.
“Heard a commotion... went to check it out... saw torches near the Everfree... went to check on the girls,” he wheezed, I didn't like where this heading. “I remember opening the door... and then you were standing over me. Thought I was dead when I saw your friend here, but I guess I'll live to fight another day.”
With that the bottom fell out of my stomach, my night was about to get a whole lot more interesting. It was definitely a booby trap set to throw anypony off the family's trail, at least it failed and the I'm the last thing they'll expect so I had a bit of a leg up in this mess.
“What's goin' on out here!?!” Especially now that Applejack was here.
“Which way did they go?” I asked as calmly as I could muster given the circumstances.
“Hey! Is anypony payin' any attention to me?” demanded Applejack.
“They went that way” he indicated with a shaky hoof, “into the Everfree.”
“Thank you. Now you get some rest big guy, I'll go save your sister and her friends,” I said as the stallion passed out again.
“Hey pal,” shouted Applejack as she spun me around, damn she's strong, to face her, “what. Happened. To. My. Sister.” I could feel the hate coming off of her as she starred me down for answers.
“She and her friends have been taken by a “family” of undead cannibals for one of many purposes that range from the morbid to the down right sadistic,” might as well be honest just in case she knows I’m lying.
“Wha… what?” she stammered as her hind end hit the ground and got a faraway look in her eyes. I really have to work on my bedside manner.
“Sorry, it’ll be all right I’m here to get them back,” I said bending down and placing my hand on her shoulder.
“You promise?” That look she gave me told me everything I needed to know. Tonight there would be no survivors, the Peaches were done for and if I had to burn that cursed forest down, they wouldn’t see another sun rise.
“Yeah, I do. Dash, stay here and help get Mac back to the house; I got business to attend to in the Everfree.” I said turning away from the angry mare.
“Where do you think you're going,” replied Dash as she shot up into my face to block my path. I could see the tears drying on her face and I really wanted to comfort her, but I had to catch up to the Peaches and time was running out.
“As I said, I'm going to get the girls back,” I replied stepping around her as I headed toward the forest.
“I'm going with you then.”
“No, you stay here and help the Apples. I have a date with the rest of the Peach family and I'd hate to be late.”
“If they're the same thing I helped you stop back in Ponyville you'll need my help.”
“Not really, that lightning strike brought me back to full strength, and besides I don't know what their composition is. For all we know they could have fliers and the last thing anypony wants to deal with is an undead cannibal that can fly and doesn't tire.” Besides that, what I was planning would just give her nightmares.
“But-”
“No “buts,” you stay here and I'll handle this,” I said as I left her behind in a dead sprint for the Everfree.
-----
'I really should have thought this course of action through a bit better,' I chastised myself as I ducked under another low hanging branch. The Everfree was huge they could have changed direction at any time to shake pursuit or I could just be walking in circles in this mess. I knew I was going to have to try something different and hope for the best.
Dropping into a sitting position I began to concentrate on my Sin Sense. Normally, this wouldn't help as the undead wouldn't show up since they technically don't exist in the cosmic scheme of things and kids don't show up unless they do something truly big, be it good or bad. To make matters worse, the only beings I could get permanent locations on without actively meditating on were the Princesses and Discord and for some reason Celestia was the only one of the bunch I could sense right now. Honestly though, I could use a blip, a sign, to tell me I was heading in the right direction. And, oh boy, did I get it. They were only a little ways directly ahead of me and it looked like they had stopped. I guess a bunch of big, bad monsters can't stand up to a bunch of little fillies. It was rather comical in a way.
Most disconcerting though, were the dark spots all over the Equestrian landscape. When I had last seen them they were far flung and only peaked my curiosity since I had seen that same darkness in that pegasus that I downed back in Canterlot. Now, they were smaller with a new large one only a few miles to the north of Canterlot. I was going to have to get a handle on that as soon as I could, but this little debacle was definitely going to interfere in the long run.
“I know I'm doing the right thing here,” I said to the surrounding trees as I stood back up and started walking again, “so why do I feel like I'm on the losing end of this?”
It took a bit longer than I had expected it to, but I finally caught up with the Everfree’s pack of resident, redneck rejects. In fact, in my haste, I almost ran right into the middle of their group and lost the element of surprise that I so desperately needed. Fortunately, things worked out for the best and I was able to get a good look at what I was facing and, to be honest, I really didn’t like it. At least they had stopped to figure out what was making all that noise they had heard. Ducking down behind a group of low bushes, glad that I had had the foresight to draw down my Hellfire so that the light wouldn’t give me away as I approached, I began to observe the group and formulate a plan to pull them apart.
Now, let me explain something to you, rescues are not easy, not by a long shot. There are a lot of variables that make each one unique and most of these variables don’t make themselves known until the worst possible moment, thus making it more likely that one or more hostages could get hurt… or worse. One such variable is the number of little fillies that are in dire need of rescue, I was expecting only three but instead I’m looking at a six pack. To make things worse, I recognize two of the extras as Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon, both wholly unknown quantities when it comes to stressful situations and, given the black eye that Diamond Tiara is sporting, I’m willing to bet they’re already on their captor’s bad side. The next problem I see with the kids is the group’s fourth blank flank, I’m pretty sure I know who she is but, apart from a few theories, I have no idea what she’s capable of and honestly I’d prefer to not have her wall eyed mother or possible Time Lord father after my ass, I got enough to worry about as it is.
Then there are the Peaches themselves, because my day isn’t just fucked enough. First, is this older, pinkish Earth pony mare that’s acting as the warden of the group’s future meal. She’s big for a mare, like Mac big, and I almost mistake her for a stallion, but the bulging muscles and split skin tells me it’s not her natural state just as well as the more rounded facial structure typical of female ponies everywhere. To top it off she’s got each of the fillies on a leash held in her teeth, so if she decides to bolt she’ll have no problem dragging the kids along with her. Next up is another Earth pony, this one definitely a stallion given the weather beaten hat and vest he’s sporting, and apart from that he doesn’t seem too different from any other pony in the world. I can even say the same for the little green mare with the silver mane, she’s yet another Earth pony and unlike the other two she seems to be about the same age as Twilight and her friends. What makes me nervous about her isn’t the bandoleer of sharp objects currently strapped to her barrel but the fact that the Sin Sense is giving me a name, Peach Cobbler, something that the undead never do. To round out their “family” is a Griffin with a black pelt and dark grey feathered head. From my hiding place I can see the metal blades embedded into each claws and some kind of satchel draped over his shoulders. I’m almost worried that I’ll have to deal with this guy taking to sky where I’ll have trouble getting him but from my position I can see that they must really like their chicken wings.
That leaves me with another unknown, the unicorn. No matter what amount of weirdness that this world has thrown at me since I got here, there has always been one true constant; to do even the simplest magic you need a unicorn with an intact horn. In fact, that rule is so important that all the Peach family heads that I’ve had to deal with in the past have all been unicorns… or that one that turned himself into a pseudo-alicorn, but that’s neither here nor there. And, while I would love to think that Celestia had been taking care of this little problem in my absence, but the family had never had non-pony members before I was imprisoned, so that instantly rules out these just being a few stragglers.
Unfortunately, I can’t wait for the leader to show as they seem to be ready to start moving again, so I move to get the drop on that big bitch to keep her from running away. Thing is, I needed a distraction; which I spot hanging from a tree branch over the group. With a flick of the wrist I send a small knife flying to neatly sever the large hornets’ nest from its perch high in the branches. Then, by the power of cartoon shenanigans, it lands squarely on the griffin’s head like a football helmet.
“Oh sweet Celestia,” he seriously can’t doing what I think he’s about to do, “not the hornets! My eyes! They’re in my eyes! They’re in my eyes!” I can’t help but choke on a laugh at that. This was probably the dumbest thing I could have done as every undead head immediately swivels in my direction. That’s when the little mare holds up a knife that I recognize as the one that I had just thrown, which tells me that the hornet nest must have been empty as well, I guess they’re smarter than they look. With a quick motion I find the knife that was formerly held in the green mares hoof is now buried up to its hilt in my sternum, good aim but ultimately useless as it melts back into my body. Deciding I better play along since they know something is watching them I do the first thing that comes to mind, I do my best bear growl.
“Bear. Sounds injured,” comes the response from old stallion. Good thing my acting sucks. “Go check it out Cobbler while your Maw and me get this crap off a Junior’s head.” With a nod, Cobbler begins to slowly make her way in my direction. I give her a little clue as to my location with a few grunts and a shake of the bush I’m hiding in.
I don’t have to wait long for a green hoof to make a hole in my hide away. The look on her face when she locks eyes with me is, in a word, priceless. If I still had a face I would have given her the most evil look I could.
“Bitch says ‘what’.” I whisper as low as I can.
“Wha-,” is as far as she gets in response before I punch her in her slack jawed face, sending her flying out of the undergrowth and right into Junior, separating him from his special helmet in the process. Let it be said, I’ll never hit a lady but I will beat a bitch.
“Cobbler? Cobbler, what happened!?!” shouts out the old stallion as he moves to, what I’m assuming is, his daughter’s side as she rolls on the ground screaming in pain as blood dribbles around the hooves she has pressed against the end of her snout. I guess that’s my cue.
“She forgot her pic-a-nic basket bribe,” I say stepping out of my hiding place and releasing my Hellfire for maximum burn, “so I had to teach her about the bear-knuckle necessities of life.” These are the jokes folks; feel free to laugh at any time.
“What the hell are you talking about freak,” the old stallion responds. Still no unicorn, guess this is just a raiding party.
“Freak?” I shoot back in my most indignant voice, “I’d rather be a freak than a bunch of inbred, foalnappers.” At which I look to the girls to see if they can take a hint. Three looks of awe and wonder and three looks of pants wetting terror, yep, I guess a little bit of initiative in the escape department was too much to ask.
“Well at least I don’t have a short fuse,” counters the griffin, with a strangely Irish accent, as he steps to the front of the group.
“Short fuse?” I ask confusedly, before I hear a very distinct hissing sound. Looking down I just manage to see a small bundle of grey-brown sticks before the hissing stops and my world became light and pain as I was sent flying.
‘I hate fucking undead,’ I think to myself as my eyes readjust and I try and shake the cobwebs loose from my spinning head. Before I can get up, however, I hear something coming closer. It’s that damn griffin.
“Nice to see that little firecracker didn’t take you out,” he says standing over me. I decide to play along to see if he’ll drop his guard so that I can handle him without any more explosions. “First, you drop a hornet’s nest on me ‘ead, I’m afraid of hornets. Then, you punch me sister in ‘er face. That makes this all kinds o’ personal, so it’s me claws I’ll be doing you in wit’.”
“Don’t forget,” I fake wheeze, “I also killed your brother.” I can see the rage boiling over in his eyes. Good.
“Somepony shoulda told you mate, never give a Griffin a reason to hate you,” he spits stepping right up into my face, his final mistake.
“And somepony should have told you,” I say shooting an arm out faster than he can respond and wrapping my fingers around his throat. “That a little firecracker like that wouldn’t even break the top twenty of times I’ve been blown up in my life.” I’m on my feet again now with this soon to be re-dead griffin in my out stretched hand.
“They also should have warned you,” I say bringing him close as he struggles to break free of my grip, his claws doing little more than leaving long gashes that quickly heal. “You. Don’t. FUCK. With kids. While I’m around.” With one fluid motion I shove my free hand into his chest, grab the first thing that I feel moving, and squeeze until I feel it pop. I see that perverted light in his eyes go out as I extract my hand, still clutching the rotten remains of what used to be this thing’s heart.
That’s when all hell broke loose with a howling wind carrying the voices of damned souls and something all too familiar slams into my side. It feels weird and it had a significant amount of force behind it but not enough to do any damage. Looking up at the source I see it, the old stallion, he’s the new head of the family and the nub of what used to be a horn, that I couldn’t see for the hat he’s no longer wearing, glowing with a sickly green corpse light.
Without warning he fires a shot of that green light straight at my face and on instinct I drop what remained of the griffin and reach out and grab the magic, something I’ve never been able to do before. Before that fact can sink in though, the light begins to shimmer and shake, taking the ghostly image of a very scared mare in a maids outfit. She looks at me terrified with ghostly tears running down her translucent cheeks. This asshole is using stolen and enslaved souls as a weapon and magic fuel, a very big no-no in the cosmic scheme of things, especially for me; the dead deserve peace.
“Please,” she begs, barely above a whisper, “help me.” In a quick flash of flames I send her on to final judgment, it's all I could do at that point.
“So, you're a unicorn with an impotency problem who uses the souls of those you've killed to power your spells,” I give him, what I can only hope he takes as, a look of utter contempt, “Looks like you get Daddy's belt.” I start moving toward him again as I pull the long strip of leather free from my pants and let it hang freely from fist.
He puts up only a token defense as I close the distance, each energy shot from him only eliciting a flick of the wrist and a flash of flame from me. I'm on him before he thinks to put up a shield, for what little good it would do, and with a lightning quick strike that pathetic thing he calls a horn goes flying off into the underbrush.
“Any last words?” I growl down at him.
“P-p-please don-,” I don't let him finish before I start. With an almost mechanical rhythm the leather strikes hard and deep over and over again. Each blow eliciting new screams of pain as it rips flesh from bone. I hear something else screaming and a commotion a short distance away, the mare must be begging for this sack of shit's life... it’s not going to change anything, so I just ignore it.
Before long I'm just slapping random wet chunks around the clearing, so I drop my blood soaked belt and turn to the last member of the Peach family. She's dropped the leashes and is staring at what used to be, I'm assuming, her husband as tears flow freely from her eyes. She begins to shiver as I make my way towards her.
“It's time,” I say stopping in front of her. She doesn't try to run or beg for her life, she just keeps starring at what used to be her husband as I reach out to take her head in my hands. With a swift jerk and a twist she falls to the ground watching the stars through the canopy.
Looking around to see if the little pack of fillies has run off to, I spot them huddled together next to a tree at the edge of the clearing and my blood goes cold. Lying next to the tree is a small bundle of yellow and red... and it's not moving. I find myself moving before I realize it and nearly break into a run to get to the downed filly, a thousand thoughts run through my mind as I close the distance and none of them are good.
“Stop! Don't come any closer freak!” The shout stops me in my tracks as I realize a small pink filly is standing between me and Applebloom. “I won't let you hurt her like you did to those mean ponies!” She's scared out of her mind, I can see it in her tear reddened eye, the other swollen shut. That's when I notice all the others are in covered in similar bruises and cuts, either they had tried to run before or these assholes had been that rough on them, either way... death had been too good for the lot of them.
“And what makes you think I want to hurt her?” I say as gently as I can, squatting down to get on her level a bit more.
“Because you're just another monster, like they were! And don't tell me you're not, I saw you come out of that painting just like the Crusaders!” I can see her courage starting to break as new tears begin collecting in the corner of her good eye.
“Really? Why do you care? She's just another Blank Flank, isn't that right?” I know I'm laying on a little thick, but I'm not in the mood for this crap.
“No! You're wrong!” This time from Silver Spoon as she and the other fillies move next to the shaking Diamond Tiara.
“We're friends now, and nothings gonna change that,” this time from Scootaloo, which was a little odd for me to hear.
“Yeah!” They all chorus as that courage that quickly faded from Diamond resurfaces on the faces of the whole group.
“That's easy to say when they’ve got your back for once, but let’s be honest with ourselves, as soon as this is all over and you're all back home; you're going back to doing what you usually do,” I respond fully aware that what little time I had is ticking away but I needed to get this handled first.
“That's a lie!” she shouts back at me, that courage morphing into hate towards me.
“You sure about that? You see, I got this ability that lets me see everything, good or bad, that a pony has ever done in their life and normally kids like you don't show up on it. Of course, that's under normal circumstances, this time I able to use it to track you, Diamond Tiara. Do you realize the kinds of things that you have to do for that to happen? Of course you don't, at least not at first, for some of the things I see in you I should turn you into mulch right where you stand.” I pause and let the gravity of what I just said sink in before I continue.
“But, with all that has happened tonight and with your friends by your side I can tell you'll make a full recovery,” I say, placing my hand on her head and petting her dirty mane.
“Wha- what?” she stammers, unsure about how to handle this new development.
“As I said,” I continue, “I can also see the good a pony has done. And in your words I see no deceit, no treachery, nothing bad of any kind. I see that the feelings you hold for your new friends is strong and sincere. Hell, the fact you are willing to stand up to me, the Spirit of Vengeance, tells me that you six will go far with each other’s help. Now, can one of you please tell me what happened to Applebloom so that I can make sure that all six of you make it out of this?” I stand up at that and step over the short wall of pony children and make my way to the downed filly's side.
“While that mean mare was d-distracted by you I-I bit her so that she w-would drop the l-leashes so we could run a-away. An-And she did, but it made her m-mad an-and s-she tried to h-hit me b-but A-Applebloom p-pushed me out of the way a-and she got hit instead,” she stammers as I breathe a sigh of relief. The kid probably just got knocked out cold or, at the worst, she has a concussion... but then the crying filly continues,” t-then she goes f-f-flying and h-hit this tree.”
That last bit of information drives me to my knees beside the little yellow form as I rip my gloves from hands. Reaching out to the side of her neck with two boney fingers I feel for a pulse only to get... nothing. My heart almost stops and I feel a cold chill much like the one already setting into the little Apple's frame run down my spine.
“Not like this,” I whisper under my breathe as I take the still form in my arms and bring it to my chest and I begin a quiet prayer to whatever being is out there that has guided me to this point, “I don't know who you are or why you've chosen to punish me like this but you can't have this one. You can make my life worse, torment me for all eternity, but you are not going to get this little filly, not while I draw breath. In fact as far as I see it, you owe me a Benny, and I'm cashing it in. And if you don't let me have this one thing... then the next one I come for will be you.” As far as prayers go it wasn't the best, but for what I needed done it was all I had. I didn't care if I was struck dead in the process. A little girl would live and an old man would die; a fair trade in my book.
-----
Applejack sat on the front porch of her family home and starred out over the orchards as the first rays of daylight began to split the night sky. Dash had left hours ago to go get the rest of their friends together so that they could mount their own search party. It wasn't that she didn't trust the flaming being from the night before, especially with how Dash actually took orders from it, but she just didn't trust that thing. She couldn't help but idling stroke her father's old crossbow that had always hung above the mantle, she knew it was probably over kill but she couldn't just let who ever this was get away with taking her sister and her friends even if she was an Element of Harmony.
She was pulled from her thoughts of revenge by movement and light from the edge of the Everfree. Deciding that she couldn't wait to see if she should have pulled that things head off and went after her sister herself she got up from her seat and set to walking.
It didn't take her long to see what she wanted. The creature, walking with its arms crossed in front of its chest, and five beaten and crying fillies walking along with it.
'Wait. Five?' she thought to herself before she realized one very important filly was missing from the group. That's when she noticed that the creature was carrying something and over its arms she could see a tattered pink bow.
“What did you do with my sister!?!” screamed the irate mare as she charged the Rider, intent on bringing it to its knees, only to be stopped by a pack of fillies trying to hold her back.
“What did you do!?! What the fuck did you do to my sister!?! We trusted you! We trusted you! And now my sister is dead! I'll kill you, you bastard! I'll fucking kill you and piss on your grave!” she continued to shriek at the top of her lungs as she strained against the fillies trying their best to restrain her. Subconsciously she was holding back as she knew she could power through the group like it was nothing but she just couldn't bring herself to hurt them any further than she could see they already were.
“Answer me, damn it!” she shouted as she felt the tears begin to fall from eyes in despair. Yet, the Rider did nothing but continue walking towards her. He stopped mere feet from her rage and anguish filled eyes and placed the body of the little yellow filly on the ground. Turning away from the scene before him, the Rider began trudging back toward the Everfree.
“Get the fuck back here! I'm not done with you yet bastard!” But to no avail, he continued to ignore her and the group of fillies held their grip. That is when she heard a voice.
“Applejack?” it wheezed, “Is it morning already? Why am I out in the orchard?” Applejack couldn't believe what she had heard, and just like a faint breeze, her rage and the feeling of the fillies holding her back faded away as if they had never been. In an instant she had Applebloom in her arms as tears of joy streamed freely from eyes to fall into the little filly's red mane, as all her hatred and thoughts of the Rider were washed away with the morning sun.
“I can't believe this bullshit!” I shouted out to the heart of the Everfree, which, in typical forest fashion, said nothing. “First, I get distracted dealing with the CMC and that little undead bitch gets away, leaving me to search this God forsaken shit hole of a forest for her! Then, every single Displaced in this fucked up Multiverse wants my help dealing with their problems! And are they appreciative that I took the time away from my very important marehunt to help them, fuck no! 'That was too harsh' they whine or 'you're just a psychopath' they claim. Well fuck them! They can choke on a bag of dicks for all I care, see if I come the next time they call. Oh, and if getting insulted by those in the same shitty place as you wasn't enough, I've had to spend the rest of my time here dodging fucking guard patrols!” I couldn't take it anymore and punched a tree so hard that it fell over creating a giant cloud of dust and an unholy amount of noise.
“Great! Just fucking great!” I shout in irritation at myself, “I just have to go and call every asshole roaming around out here to my exact location!” If I had been wearing a hat I’d have thrown it on the ground at this point and started stomping on it to elevate my frustrations, but as usual, nothing wants to go my way.
“I could really use a smoke right now,” I sigh as I get my anger back under control and start making my way towards Ponyville, “I wonder if Perfect Count can hook an unlucky brother up?”
“Well, well,” came a female voice from nowhere. It was familiar but I just couldn't place it, “it's not every day that a demon gives up its followers while not begging for its life.” Keeping my head on a swivel I still couldn't find the source of that voice. It had to be coming from somewhere close by if the they could hear me so clearly.
“You should just give up now and let us slay you without a fight,” this time it came from behind me. I don't know how they got there but they were.
'Wait, us?' I thought to myself. This could only be one group if there was more than one, the Demon Hunters, and I did not like what my odds were in this sitution. They had the drop on me, so running was out of the question as I'd just run into some kind of trap most likely, and I couldn't fight them head on as I really didn't have a solid idea about their abilities apart from the blessed weapons. I had a pretty good guess as to their numbers after they tried to stop me in Canterlot, but Trixie's presence in the group was still a mystery to me. Why a showmare would be taking time off from the road to work with the military is beyond me, guess it was time to find out.
“Hey Trixie,” I shout out while still keeping up my guard for any signs of my opponents. “What's a washed up, second rate performer like you doing with a bunch of military types anyhow?” The way I saw it, if I could get her mad by wounding her pride she'd break cover and force the rest out to cover her ass.
“Do they know you're all talk and action?” movement in a nearby bush caught my attention and I spun to face the source and locked eyes on the spot where she must have been hiding.
“You know what? I take that back, they must keep you around for a different sort of action, if you know what I mean.” I guess she did because I got hit in the back of the head with a bolt of pure energy. Well, I say pure, truth be told it felt way too familiar, as in laced with almost the same demonic energy that powers my boney ass. Quickly turning I locked eyes with the offended mare as she tossed her mane back and gave me a raised eyebrow and a smirk to end all smirks.
“Apparently you don't know who it is that you are dealing with,” she says still giving me that smirk and sounding way too calm given the circumstances, “you face the Great and Powerful Trixie and with the skills Trixie has received from working with these “military types,” as you put it, Trixie is more than a match for the likes of a fool like you.” With that she gives her mane quick flip with a hoof.
“Really? You sure about that?” I counter.
“Absolutely sure,” she says with more confidence than I would have liked.
“Then think fast!” I shout sending a knife spinning for her flank. It wasn't a kill shot but it would take her out of the fight. Or at least I thought it would, I really wasn't expecting the blade to go through her and imbed itself in a nearby tree and another bolt from behind to slam into my back in response.
“Guess I should have known that was illusion,” I mumble to myself. That's when I feel it, a tug on my shoulder. I'm not sure what it is but I throw myself in the opposite direction as the ground where I was standing explodes into the air. Looking back at where I was standing I see none other than Hammerstrike himself staring back at me with the head of his namesake buried in the dirt. That had been way too close for comfort; I can't believe I almost fell for that trick. I don't have time to dwell on that fact as I start to hear a whistling sound headed through the forest and it's gradually getting louder.
“Come on guys, you really don't have to do this,” I say as I unshoulder my chain and warp it into a sword, I didn't want to hurt them but I'd be damned again if I wasn't going to defend myself. All the while that whistle was getting closer.
“Have to, no,” responded Hammerstrike as he hefted his hammer back onto a shoulder, “Want to, you bet your boney ass.” The look he was giving me was one of total calm and confidence, to say I was a nervous would be the understatement of a lifetime.
“Why? I've never done anything to you and, as you can tell from my escape from Canterlot that you were a part of, I really don't want to hurt anypony. So can't we just let this go?” I say looking to make a quick exit as that whistling sound came ever closer.
“Not really. You're dangerous and a liar, just like any other demon. You say you don't want to hurt anypony but... we both know that's complete bullshit.”
“You sure about that? What about those fillies I saved last week? If it wasn't for me they'd be zombie chow by now.”
“I'll take that as a one off good deed, nothing worth worrying over.” This wasn't good, he wasn't going to back down and as far as I know I was trapped like a rat since I hadn't seen hide or hair of his team.
Then, I felt that tug again, this time from my right just out of my peripheral vision. I spun into it and raised my blade only to get a fountain of sparks and the sound of metal on metal as its edge met the edge of a pair of wing blades worn by a red Pegasus, Storm Kicker. I followed her movements as she rolled in midair to land a few feet away from me and almost realized my mistake too late, that in doing so I took my eyes off of Hammerstike and almost didn't duck his swing in time as it whizzed over my head. Taking advantage of my new lowed position I struck out with a vicious back kick trying to at least knock him away for a moment only for my foot to hit empty air, guess he's quicker on his hooves than I gave him credit for. In response Cloud Kicker shot forward like lightning to try and strike me while I was distracted and in a bad position, I managed to parry with my sword and push off against her to right myself. It wasn't much help as Hammerstike was on my again before I really had time to recover and I found myself barely dodging a series of rapid swings of his obviously blessed war hammer, his final strike found purchase on large oak tree... which shattered into splinters and I made a note to not come in contact with that thing. As a follow up I found Storm Kicker back in my face as I desperately tried to block every one of her rapid, precision strikes. I was barely able to keep up before the unthinkable happened, her last strike cut cleanly through my sword and her blade cut deep into my upper arm.
The pain was excruciating, I can't believe that I hadn't thought about those wing blades of her's being blessed. Here I was thinking that Hammerstrike was the only one smart enough to not bring a knife to a gun fight, and it was all just arrogant dumbassery on my part and now my right arm was hanging as uselessly like a limp dick. This wasn't going to end well unless I was able to run away but to do that I'd need to make an opening that I wasn't sure that I could make. As I was mulling my next move over in my head, while Hammerstrike and Storm Kicker just starred me down, I felt another tug this time from behind me. Spinning around and swinging with a new sword in my left hand only to be met with... nothing. This wasn't right, every time I'd felt that tug I'd followed my instincts and went with it, so why was it wrong this time?
“What the fu- aaauuuggghhh!” I screamed as my back burst into a pain that can only be described as someone cutting my skin away, covering me in pissed off fire ants, and then replacing the skin. Reaching behind me with my one good arm I could just barely feel the hilt of a dagger that was buried in that spot on your back that you just can't reach with the tips of my fingers and, with that, a stunning realization. They had played me like a fool since the beginning, Trixie wasn't the distraction, Hammerstrike and Storm Kicker were the distraction and the tug I had been feeling this whole time was Trixie screwing with me as they maneuvered me into position for their other two unicorns to strike from the shadows. Turning back to the duo of attackers I see that they had been joined by Quick Strike and Backstab, just like I had thought.
“You think you're so smart,” I growled through the near unbearable pain in my back and arm, “but you're really a bunch of blind fools, just like Celestia.”
“And what makes you think that?” questioned Hammerstike with a level of nonchalance that chapped my ass to no end.
“Because I'm not you're real enemy,” I had to keep him talking, Trixie was now the only thing between myself and freedom and I was pretty sure I could get passed her if only my healing factor could kick in enough to counter act the blessing on their weapons. “There is something far worse than me gaining power across Equestria, right under the noses of the Princesses.”
“Go on.” At least he was listening so there was still hope that I could get out of this alive.
“An all-consuming darkness is coming. I can see it every time I concentrate on my Sin Sense, and it's only been growing ever since I got free.”
“And why should I trust anything you say?”
“Because I'm not really as bad as Celestia thinks. I'm just an agent for justice, nothing more, nothing less.”
“Hahahaha! I've heard some crazy Big Fish stories in my day from monsters like you but this is a first, you actually believe you're the hero here. Hahahaha! Let's end this.” I didn't even have time to respond before I was tagged by yet another arcane blast, which was quickly followed up with a lightning fast slash across my chest staggering me and sinking any hopes I had for escape. The final blow came from a massive hammer blow to my knees that drove me to the ground as my now shattered legs could no longer support my weight.
Rolling over from my place on the ground, and driving the pair of daggers deeper into my back, I was able to see the Demon Hunters as they took up position standing over me. My body was unable to respond any more, let alone fight back, as I starred up at the canopy of the Everfree through the near blinding pain. I could easily see the looks of smug triumph on their faces as they looked down on my battered form. Well, all except for Storm Kicker, she seemed to look upon me with mix of both sympathy and uncertainty. I didn't have long to dwell on it though as Hammerstrike spoke up.
“For supposedly the greatest threat in Equestria's history,” he said, casting glances at Storm Kicker, “you went down far too easily. I guess arrogance and dumb luck really doesn't make up for skill and planning.”
“Yeah. Well you all can all go fuck yourselves.” I growl. The last thing I saw, before the darkness took me, was my own reflection on the highly polished face of a massive war hammer.
Pain. Pain is what brought me back into the waking world from the darkness. It wasn't the first time that I had woken up in this state and I honestly doubted it would be the last time.
As I “opened” my eyes I was greeted by the strange, almost black and white, fuzz that I view the world in while it's dark. From what I can see, I’m currently inside of a small stone room with the wall in front of being made of a series of iron bars. From this I deduce that I'm currently locked in the dungeons, most likely those in Canterlot. Great, the last place in Equestria that I want to be and those damn Demon Hunters just had to take me there.
I guessed that if I was locked up then Celestia must not truly trust them with her collection of divine weaponry... or she ordered them to bring me in so that she could do this herself. Either way, I wasn't going to give her the satisfaction if I could help it, it was time for another wild escape. Or, at least I thought it would be before I reached out with my hellfire to take command of the chains that held me to the wall and make them vanish only for nothing to happen.
'That's weird,' I thought to myself as I looked up to see what the problem was. When I saw my binding I could feel the floor fall out from under me. I wasn't bound with chains; my hands were tied up with a single length of silk rope that was locked into space about an inch from the wall. To make matters worse the binding carried an all too familiar aura, one that was laced with the same hellish energy that made up my body. Trixie had done this and the fact that she was able to pull off several high level enchantments at the same time while her magic was influenced by a force that causes Equestrian magic to go crazy just went to show how grossly I had under estimated her and her team.
“Fuck me,” I mumbled to myself as the realization that this was really it for me settled in.
“Hello? Who's there?” I hear a familiar voice come from the wall to my right, along with the sound of rattling chains.
“Perfect? Is that you?”
“Yeah. How do you... Rider?”
“Yeah. What the fuck are you doing down here?”
“I don't know. I was just working the counter at the store when this group of ponies come in and the next thing I know they're shoving a bag over my head and putting me in hoofcuffs. Rider, I was so scared. I thought that it was more of those ponies that you saved me from until they started talking about the Princesses removing mind control and how I may be involved in demon worship. I don't know why they would think that,” she said. I could hear her voice trying to crack while she was talking, I could tell she wasn't holding up well.
“I know why.”
“What?” she started but I wasn't going to let her mind wander to any place dark if I could help it.
“They're called the Demon Hunters. From what little information I've got they're apparently Celestia's pet commando unit created with the sole purpose of hunting down and destroying any and all unholy threat to the ponies of Equestria. I guess I can add cultists to the list of things that they get sent in to deal with. Which is the category that they think you might fall into.”
“But... that doesn't explain how they knew that we're friends.” That was new. Outside of Luna I had never had a pony refer to me as a friend before. It felt weird, but in a good way. Which didn't make what I was about to tell her any easier.
“Because I'm a complete fucking idiot. I knew they were hunting me and at the time I just believed them to be no threat. So after a week of roaming around the Everfree I had written them off and right before they hit me I... mentioned to myself that I should come see how you were doing out loud. It was stupid to say your name out loud when I knew I had them on my tail but I got complacent and slipped up.”
“Is that really what happened?” I can almost feel the betrayal in her voice as she speaks.
“I am so sorry, Perfect. I should have known better than to say your name out loud like that. If you hate me for getting you caught up in this I...”
“I don't,” she cuts me off, “what kind of friend would I be if I let something like this come between us.”
“This is kind of a big something.”
“I know, all I'm doing is following the example of Princess Twilight. Nothing can come between good friends.”
“I don't think she had this kind of situation in mind,” we have a good laugh at how she was able to twist Twilight's teaching to suit her needs before falling into an awkward silence.
“So what's going to happen to us now?” I hear her ask accompanied by the slight jingle of her chains.
“I'm not going to sugar coat this,” I say, “when they take us out of these cells it will most likely be to take us to the chopping block for our executions.” I hear her give a slight whimper and I know she's crying even without seeing it. I can't think of anything that I can say that will give her the comfort that she needs. That's when I realize that she mentioned something that I may be able to use to get her out of this.
“Hey Perfect, what did you mean when you said they brought up mind control earlier?”
“They said that,” she sniffles before continuing, “it was way too early for anypony to actually start a cult dedicated to you so you must have me under some sort of mind control so that I'll set one up.” That's fairly sound logic on their part, it's wrong since I can't use mind control, but sound none the less. It was also the perfect thing to help me get Perfect out of here.
“Perfect, I need you to do me a favor.”
“What?”
“After I'm,” I hesitate to say it, but I press on, “executed, I want you to put on the greatest performance that Equestria has ever seen. I want you to make them believe beyond a shadow of a doubt that my death has freed you of any mind control that I had you under. I want you to tell them how desperate you were to be free and how horrible a monster I was for keeping you a prisoner in your own mind. I want you to spit on me, curse my name, and call me the greatest evil you've ever heard of. Then I want you to go home and forget that you ever knew me. Live your life as if I didn't exist and whenever you need to, raise a glass to my demise. Can you do that for me?”
“I can't do that Rider, it's not right.”
“It doesn't matter. It's the only way that I can see you getting out of this alive and I don't think I can rest easy knowing that I got another friend killed.”
“But-”
“No “buts.” Just, do this for me... consider it a last request.”
“Fine. I'll do it. Until then, I guess I'll just have to suffer in good company.”
“Where did you hear that?” I ask. That was a weird turn of phrase for an Equestrian.
“From my... Dad, it's still odd calling him that. It's something he said anytime things got rough.”
“Smart stallion.”
“Yeah. I'm sure he'll be glad that you got me out of this when you see him on the other side.”
“I hope he's just as forgiving as you are,” I tell her. It's a lie, but one I have to tell. I know that when this is over I'm going to be some place that isn't full of rainbows and sunshine. “Get some sleep Perfect we have a long day ahead of us tomorrow.”
“You're right.” she says as I hear her restraints striking stone as she gets comfortable, “Goodnight Rider.”
“Goodnight Perfect.”
-----
Time seemed to crawl by as I stood there, staring off into space and listening to Perfect’s quiet snores, as I waited for the door leading into our cell area to open and for us to be lead out to meet our maker. I’ve been in more than one life or death fight in my life and I have never been this scared before, I guess there’s a difference between knowing that you are going to die and there just being a possibility. And unlike every other time the Reaper has come calling I’ve always been in a position to at least fight back, to defend myself, to stack the deck in my favor so that I can walk away. Playing this waiting game and being powerless to do anything about it was just absolute torture. I was in a hopeless situation and there is no way in hell it was going to get better… but at least there was a chance for Perfect to get out of this.
That’s when I heard the heavy wooden door leading to our cells slowly open and dim light filled the hallway. I tensed up; I guessed this was it but the sounds of only one set of hooves striking the stone floor put me off my game a bit. I was worried that we might not even make it to the chopping block until a familiar lavender head came into the view through the bars.
“Um, hi. Sorry to wake you,” she says looking around nervously.
“Who said I was sleeping,” I said turning my head to face her.
“Oh. Uh, right. Sorry, it’s kind of hard to tell with the whole,” she says waving her front hooves around her head.
“Yeah, I know.” That better not become a running gag.
“So I was wondering if you would be free to talk about yourself.”
“I’d love too, so why don’t you let me out of these bindings and then we’ll talk.
“Seriously,” she deadpans with a raised eyebrow.
“Eh, worth a shot. So what do you want to know?”
“Everything! There has never been a creature like you in all of Equestria,” I could see the twinkle in her eyes from where I stood, “I mean, after you left the castle I immediately started researching other demons, and do you want to know what I found?”
“Thrill me,” I shoot back.
“Not only do none of the other demon descriptions that I found match you, apart from those that I deduced were written about you specifically, but your entire personality is nearly the complete opposite of what is recorded about demons and how they act. I even found several accounts, though ancient and no doubt embellished a bit, about how you were seen fighting monsters, taking out bandit camps, and even rescuing ponies in distress. While I could have passed these off a coincidence as demons are known to fight for supremacy with other dark beings, our conversation and the subsequent events that night almost completely prove otherwise. In fact, the evidence points to you being some sort of dark hero and not just another monster like the rest.” Leave it to Purple Smart to get to the hard fact and above all else, the truth. She was never my favorite princess in the show, but after this she had more than earned her second place spot. “So please, tell me everything that you can about yourself.”
“Where should I begin? How about you ask the questions that you want to know and I’ll answer them truthfully, but in return I get to ask you questions about yourself and your friends?” I already knew almost everything about her from the show but this would give me a chance to get a few laughs at her expense before the end.
“Deal,” she says after a moment’s hesitation, “What are you exactly, because ‘demon’ doesn’t quite fit what you are?”
“I’m a human,” I say almost matter of factly.
“I thought you said you’d be honest?”
“I am being honest.”
“But, from what I saw of the human world, they aren’t all,” she makes those little gestures with her hooves again.
“I’m the only one who’s like this, I can promise you that. So, take a moment to think about it, if you take away the flames wouldn’t my bone structure match that of the humans you’ve met?”
“Now that you mention it,” she started, “I can kind of see the resemblance.”
“Now for my question; are you into mares or stallions?” I didn’t so much get an answer to that as I did a bunch of stammering and a deep blush. “Ha, sorry, I just couldn’t help myself; you don’t have to answer that. Hit me with your next question.”
“Um, uh, okay,” she said getting herself back under control, “what are your powers?”
“I figured you’d ask something tougher,” normally I wouldn’t tell a possible enemy my capabilities but given the situation it wouldn’t do me any good to keep it quiet, “First, I can summon chains that are almost sentient from my body and I can turn them into most non-complex weapons. Second, I can create and, somewhat, control hellfire; though my aim is complete shit if I try to throw it over a distance. Third, I guess, would be my motorcycle though that’s more for general transportation than anything else. Finally, I have my Sin Sense, as I like to call it, which lets me see everypony’s name and everything, good or bad, that they’ve ever done. It also gives me suggestions on how to proceed in dealing with that pony, though I tend to ignore that part and let my conscience be my guide.”
“The power to see what other ponies have done, both good and bad,” she drifts off into her own thoughts, “that seems to be a great and terrible gift.”
“Hey now, focus princess,” I say cutting off her train of thought before it went too far; “we ain’t got very long here. My turn again, do you like Peña Coladas?”
“Yes, but I prefer them to be non-alcoholic, I don’t like how it makes my head feel fuzzy. What is your name?”
“My name is Ghost Rider, but… my friends call me Rider.”
“Why don’t I believe you when you say that?”
“Because as far as anyone in this world needs to know, that is my name. Now, do you like getting caught in the rain?”
“No, who in their right mind would? Is there a point to your line of questioning?”
“Not really, but I’m just trying to keep up my end of the conversation a bit until I can think up a few good questions of my own. Also, that counts as yours. Are you into yoga?”
“What’s yoga?”
“Fair enough. You may fire when ready.”
“You said you were from another world, then how did you get here?”
“I don’t think I want to answer that one,” I say. I really didn’t like were this line of questioning was starting to going. “Do you like making love at midnight?”
“You said you would answer my questions,” she responds way too quickly. She knew I was going to try to derail the conversation at some point and she was ready for me.
“Shit,” I sigh, “I never should have agreed to this. As to how I got here exactly, I can’t tell you.” She tries to interrupt but I don’t give her the chance. “I can’t, because I don’t know myself. The only thing I know is that I died before I was sent here.”
“What?” I can see the shock on her face and hear the disbelief in her voice.
“It was late at night and, uh, I had this costume party that I was going to, my High School Reunion in fact, when it all went wrong. I was speeding, more so than usual, down some back country roads because I was already late to the party. I really should have been more careful, maybe even worn a helmet, but I thought I’d be just fine. I was very, very wrong; the last things that I can remember is something large, brown and furry running out into road. I didn’t have time to stop or to get around it. I didn’t see what happened after that so much as felt it… the feeling of impact… the feeling of flying through the air… and finally, the feeling of my skull connecting with asphalt. The rest, they say, is history.”
“That’s terrible. But that still doesn’t explain why you’re here.” Why? The ultimate question. I was about to answer her when her words finally hit me and I realized what had been bugging me since I heard Perfect’s voice.
“That’s right, why are you here?” I ask, my blood already beginning to boil.
“What do you mean? I told you why I was here.”
“Exactly, it just hit me. Why are you here and not in a cell like Perfect Count? Celestia’s little clown posse arrested her and threw her in here without so much as a trial just because I mentioned her name, and yet it’s you and your friends who are still free.” By that point I wasn’t even trying to mask the anger in my voice.
“But, I’m sure-“
“No, Twilight, you can’t deny that something is up here. They put an innocent mare, one that I saved from becoming a slave mind you, on death row without a trial or even asking questions. Think back to that night in Ponyville when I came to your castle, what happened? We had coffee together with Spike and shared a nice conversation, then Rainbow Dash helps me put an abomination down, and then I rescue Applejack’s sister. And guess who’s not in here. Celestia can’t bring herself to believe that any of you could have had a positive interaction with me but she will gladly put to death any one of her ponies for that same encounter! She is too blind to see things for what they are, but her little student, her little student and her friends she could never doubt.”
“That’s not true! It can’t be true!” she cried out as tears welled up in her eyes. “We have laws, laws that she wrote herself. She can’t just by pass them at her convenience.”
“She can, Twilight. She is, just look at these two cells and that’ll be all the proof you need.”
“But why?” the tears were flowing freely now, I guess the truth does hurt.
“Because she believes that she is doing the right thing.”
“That doesn’t make any sense! How can she believe that this is right?”
“Think back to what I told you about my powers, my sixth sense in particular,” I tell her. It only takes a few moments but I can see the realization when it hits her square in the face.
“You’re no hero,” she breathes, almost too low to hear.
“Ding, ding, ding, give the girl a prize Johnnie, she got it in one. That’s right buttercup, I’m judge, jury, and executioner of everyone and everything I meet.”
“Why? Why would you do that?”
“The same reason you prune a rose bush, to cut out the dead and dying stems so that the good and healthy parts can grow stronger and, ultimately, bloom. That’s what I do with the world; I am the one who cuts evil out at its source so that the good can truly flourish. I am the shepherd and I am the terrible punishment of any sheep that strays from the herd, even a just a little.” I might have embellished that a bit but it gets the point across.
“What- What gives you the right!?!”
“The weight of my own sins! I’m here, forced into a role that I hate. Forced to destroy something that I love because I can see the darkness in it, hidden just below the Technicolor surface, but guess what, it finally ends at dawn. Every innocent death that I was too slow to stop and every corrupted being that I have put down since I arrived here has caused me nothing but absolute anguish and suffering, because I can see what this world could be but is being held back from. I am cursed for the great evils that I committed in life. Cursed to do this until the end of time or the Devil himself comes to claim me, and it looks like I’ll be meeting him soon enough.”
“You’re cursed,” she says and I can see the gears turning, “I have to tell Celestia. She has to know that this- this travesty, can’t be allowed to happen. You both have done nothing wrong. I may even be able to help break the magic that has done this to you.”
“No, wait,” I say, stopping her as she turns to leave, “she won’t listen no matter what you say.”
“But I have to; she has to know she’s wrong about you both.”
“That’s the thing Twilight, she is right about me, I am the danger. If even you, a former bearer of an Element of Harmony, were to step too far out of line I would have to intervene. I would turn you into a purple smear on the ground and not think twice about it.” A blatant lie, but I had to do something to get my point across. I mean, Twilight, evil enough for me to kill, I don’t even think that’s possible. “If you really want to help, then you will do everything in your power to get Perfect out of this. Of the two of us she is the only one who is truly innocent, and if my final act in this world can be saving one last innocent, then I’m okay with that.”
“I’ll- I’ll see what I can do,” she says as she turns and leaves me once again in the darkness, alone with my own thoughts.
-----
Morning came way too quickly for me. One moment I’m chilling in my cell and the next I’m being herded out of the dungeons and through the castle. I would like to say that they were at least nice to retie my hands but I’d be lying since Trixie just used her magic to force my arms from their raised position down to the small of my back and dislocating both of my shoulders in the process. Then they just tied another enchanted silk rope around my waist to secure them in place, leaving me unable to force them back into the sockets so that I can at least be comfortable before I died. Fucking assholes.
So here we stood, in front of a pair of large doors, surrounded on all sides by the Demon Hunters. I could hear Celestia’s voice through the doors as she gave some rousing speech to a crowd that I could just barely see the edges of through the windows that flanked the double doors that we were waiting at. I don’t know what her exact words were and, honestly, I could have cared less, what I did care about was Perfect. She stood next to me and I could see her visibly shaking in fear, I wished that I could reach down and offer her some form of comfort, but I couldn’t risk blowing her mind control story without her even getting a chance to use it. So I just did my best to look around the room and act as disinterested in what was happening as I could.
That’s when I locked eyes with the little red pegasus standing to my other side. I remember her from the Everfree Forest as she still had that same look on her face as she did then.
“What are you looking at freak,” she spat. I guess I had been looking at her a bit too long.
“A pony who is in doubt.” I respond, not looking away from her.
“I have no doubts about my mission.”
“That’s not how it looks from where I’m standing.”
“Enough,” cut in Hammerstrike, “keep antagonizing my team and I’ll break your legs and have Trixie drag you the rest of the way. And as for you, Storm Kicker, you know never to listen to the enemy but since you’re new I’ll let it slide this once.”
“Yes, sir.” She snaps. “It’s just… that dream that I had after I hit the rock… it still bothers me and this whole event has me…”
“That is all Lieutenant. We will discuss this later … in my office.” My mind was abuzz with the little ray of hope that had just shined itself on two unfortunate souls.
“Prophetic dreams,” I started, “you breathed in the ashes of one who was burned by my hand. They say the ashes can give a pony visions of the future.” Or cause madness. I’d heard rumors both ways but had never really had a chance to verify them, but this might just give me the wiggle room I needed to get Perfect and myself out of this mess.
I didn’t have the time to gain more ground before the doors in front of us swung open to reveal a large courtyard filled with ponies and Celestia standing on a raised platform in the middle. The crowd was dead silent as it parted to let us pass and I was pressed forward by Trixie’s telekinetic hold. Before I knew it, I was standing face to face with the last alicorn that I wanted to see.
“Any last words before you die,” she asks, with a smirk that makes my blood run cold. I look around at the crowd hoping against hope that I’ll see the only familiar face that can stop this, but she isn’t anywhere to be seen. Just my rotten luck I guess.
What I do spot, however, is Twilight and her friends. None of them look happy about these preceding but I guess Twilight told them about last night. That still doesn’t help that Dash and Applejack look about ready to rush the stage at any moment, whether to try to free me or to do it themselves is anybody’s guess. I only had one shot left for a miracle and it was probably a long shot.
“Yeah,” I say, turning back to face Celestia, “can I bum a cigarette off anypony? I could really do with a smoke to settle my nerves. Last request and all that.”
“Request denied. You forgot that I know about your little fire control trick, so no smoke for you.” Shit, I was running out of ideas fast.
“W-wait, what about a last meal?” I ask as Trixie uses her magic to drive me to my knees and stretch my neck across the chopping block. “Can’t we at least talk about this?” I cried, struggling against the magic that held me in place.
“No,” she said with finality as a large two handed sword appeared in a flash of magic. Every fiber of my being screamed in terror at the mere sight of the large weapon, this was no ordinary blade; it was created by the Princess with her own magic. A divine blade, the only thing that can kill me.
Averting my eyes to my coming doom I spotted something in the crowd, something I didn’t expect to see. It was a pony wearing a hooded cloak and the more I looked around the more of them I saw. But that wasn’t what bothered me, what bothered me was that they were all blocked from my Sin Sense with the same darkness that had been growing across Equestria. The same darkness that I had seen in the young pegasus that I had killed the day I was freed from the painting. It finally clicked, the darkness wasn’t some buildup of dark magic, it was them coming together is large groups. And as I watched more and more of them began to appear in the crowd.
“Celestia! Wait!” I shout, trying to stop her, “Something is wrong. If you go through with this something terrible is going to happen!”
“Enough! No more of your lies and threats demon! Equestria shall finally be rid of your darkness forever!” she shout as the blade held in her magical aura raised high for the final strike.
-----
Twilight and her friends could do nothing but watch helplessly from the side lines. After her secret trip to the dungeons Twilight had told them all what she had learned. They had all agreed that while the Rider may not be completely good, he still deserved better than this, but they were powerless to stop the events as the unfolded. They could do nothing as Celestia’s blade came up and fell again with a harsh finality.
But as it did they heard two distinct sounds; the first being the sound of a hoof striking flesh and another of steel impacting on wood. What they didn’t hear was the sound of a blade as it separated a head from a body. With a sharp intake of breath all eyes in the crowd, even those of the solar princess, fell on a red pegasus mare, her hoof still raised as a unicorn mare lay curled up at her hooves holding the spot just below her horn in pain.
“Now,” came a voice that should not have been, “where were we?” All eyes turned to meet the sight of the Rider as he stood back up on feet.
“Now,” I say as I regain my feet, no easy task with my arms still restrained, “where were we?”
Silence. Nopony moved, nopony really even breathed. I know I have the ability to kill a room, but this was ridiculous.
“Uh, how about that smoke now?” The words had barely left my mouth before Celestia was a blur of motion. I barely dodged her first swing by the width of an ass hair.
“Careful where you swing that thing,” I say ducking another wild swing, “you might put someone's eye out.”
“Shut up!” screamed Celestia as I dodge yet another swing. “Why won't you just die quietly? Can't you see it's for the best? This is the only way that I can protect Luna!”
“Protect her? From what!?!” I say, barely side stepping a wild swing.
“From you! I almost lost her once to your corruption, I won't allow it again!” Her swing drove me backwards and, like an insult from on high, I tripped over my own feet. Yeah, the great and master ass-kicker, put on his ass by his own miss step.
“Ahhh,” she screamed with a downward strike. I barely got scooted back in time as the blade embedded itself in the wood of the platform less than an inch from my crotch.
“I know I haven't seen them in a long time, but that's just not right,” I shoot back. I know I should have kept my damn mouth shut but sometimes you just have to say it. This probably wasn't one of those times as when she drew it back I could see the fury in her eyes and the little bit of foam at corners of her mouth.
“Shut up!” she screamed as she drove the tip of her sword straight for my face. With nowhere to go and little hope of dodging this blow I could only watch as my end came at me. It's funny, throughout my entire adult life people had been trying to kill me and every time all it did was piss me off and make me return the favor. But here, now, I just felt... cold. I'm really not sure why, maybe I really had made peace with the end in that dungeon cell or maybe it was because I knew that I had failed. I don't really know, nor will I really ever know as the tip of the holy blade stopped just short of my face, wrapped in a deep blue aura.
“Rider?” came a tentative voice from beside me. “Is that you?”
“Yeah, it's me,” I say turning to look at the princess of the night. If I had lips, or a face for that matter, I would have smiled but given my current state all I could do was nod. I guess she got the gesture as I found myself with her wings and forelegs wrapped around me.
“Rider, I thought I had lost you forever,” she said as I began to feel flashes of steam as tears met flames, “All those failed searches of our old castle, all the time spent searching through ancient archives, all those expeditions I sent Daring Do on to find you, only to get no closer to finding you. I feared the worst and yet here you are, in the last possible place I would expect you to be.”
“It's okay Kiddo, I'm here now.” It's not the smoothest thing I've ever said to someone in tears, but it's the best I had given the circumstances.
“Luna, step away from that thing.” I knew our little moment couldn't last forever.
“Tia, what do you...” said Luna as she turned to look at her sister. It didn't take her long to figure out what was going on.
“I said; get away from that monster, Luna. I will not lose you to it again.”
“Lose me to it? Tia, that's not what happened. I took a part of him into myself so that I could take over and fulfill his duties until I could convince you to free him. He is no more a threat than you or I.” I beg to differ, but I figured it would be far wiser to not get into that one.
“Lies! Even the mere sight of it brings you back under its sway, I cannot allow this to continue. Demon Hunters, take my sister into custody. I want her locked in her chambers until I can end this.”
“Like hell they are,” I say, forcing myself back onto my feet, “if they so much as lay a hoof on her it will be the last mistake that they ever make.”
“You see Luna, this thing would harm those entrusted with our personal protection. It is a menace and needs to be destroyed!”
“Fuck you too, you old nag!”
“Tia! That is not what he said and you know it! And Rider, I would very much appreciate it if you didn't talk to my sister in such a way.”
“Demon Hunters take my sister away; she is clearly out of her mind.”
“Ignore that order, Demon Hunters. We are not finished talking with our sister.”
“You have no authority here Luna; they answer directly to me and me alone. Now, get Luna out of here.”
“Um, Princess,” came the voice of Twilight from far closer than it should have been to this sisterly spat. “I think we have bigger problems than the Rider right now.” The nervousness in her voice was enough to break up our little... discussion.
A quick look around told myself, and likely anypony with half a brain, that we were about to get hit with a massive shit storm. Let me set the stage for you, first the Princesses and I were currently standing on a raised platform in the middle of a small crowd of ponies. On this platform with us are the Demon Hunters and a few guards, of which there are far fewer than when I was first brought out, who are now arranged in a circle around Twilight and her friends. And then there is the crowd, I don't think I've ever seen that many black cloaks in all my life. What was once a crowd of random onlookers had, over the course of our little show turned into a small horde of cloaked figures, some of which definitely weren't ponies. The eeriest part of all was that they didn't make a sound; they just stared at us from under their hoods.
“Friends of yours?” asked Hammerstrike from beside me.
“No friends of mine. Apart from Luna and Perfect, all my friends are dead.”
“Rider, any ideas on what to do?” asked Luna.
“Yeah, what's the most secure location in the castle?”
“The throne room,” answered Celestia, much to my surprise.
“Perfect, we'll head there on my signal. Care to cut me loose?”
“No.”
“Look Celestia, as much as I don't like you and you don't like me, we need to put that aside if we want to get out of this in one piece. So please, cut me the fuck loose.” With that, the binding around my arms and wrists vanished, but it wasn't Celestia that did it.
“Thanks Luna. Now, when I give the signal, everypony head for the door that I was brought through. Guards lead the way, Demon Hunters on the flanks, everypony else in the middle, and I'll bring up the rear. We clear?” My only answer was a series of grunts.
“All right. One for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, and four to-”
“CITIZENS OF EQUESTRIA!” boomed a voice from overhead.
“Oh what the fuck is it now!” I swore looking up into the sky for the source. It didn't take me long to spot the massive hologram of a cloaked pony's head being projected on a cloud bank.
“IT IS TIME, TIME THAT WE THROW OFF THE OPPRESSIVE YOKE OF THE PRINCESSES. FOR TOO LONG HAVE THEY SAT IN CONTROL WITH THE VERY SUN AND MOON ANSWERING TO THEIR WHIM ALONE. WITH THAT CONTROL THEY HAVE KEPT US AS LITTLE MORE THAN HOSTAGES FOR GENERATIONS. WE GIVE THEM OUR RESPECT NOT OUT OF LOVE BUT OUT OF FEAR, FEAR OF WHAT THEY MIGHT DO IF WE DIDN'T DO AS WE WERE TOLD. FEAR THAT THEY MIGHT WITH HOLD THE VERY SUN THAT WE NEED TO GROW OUR CROPS. OR THAT THEY MIGHT MOVE THE SUN CLOSER AND BURN OUR WORLD TO A USELESS HUSK. WELL I SAY NO MORE! I SAY THAT IT IS TIME FOR WE, THE TRUE RULERS OF EQUESTRIA, TO STAND UP AND TAKE BACK CONTROL OF OUR WORLD!”
“Great, another tyrant playing at being a savior. That shit is getting really old.” If I still had eyes, I'd have rolled them.
“This has happened before?” asked Luna, never taking her eyes off the hologram as it continued to spew its propaganda.
“On my world, more times than I care to admit.”
“That's not very reassuring.” She said glancing back at the surrounding crowd as it slowly inched closer. This was a powder keg waiting to go off and there was no way for the Princesses or Twilight and her friends to get away from this many attackers. Time for a distraction.
With a turn and a gesture I unleashed a wall of Hellfire into the crowd. I may not be able to aim at range but up close, I can shotgun it with the best of them. I kept the flames going only long enough for the bodies to crumble away before I killed them and turned to the stunned ponies behind me.
“You know the plan, now move!” With that the world became a blur of motion and violence as we made our way back into the castle.
-----
“Close 'em, close 'em, close 'em!” I shout just as I cleared the rapidly shrinking gap in the main doors to the throne room. That had been a very close call for the lot of us. Nopony had expected there to be so many Black Cloaks or for them to be so heavily armed.
“Is everybody okay?” I ask as the heavy bar falls into place across the doors behind me.
“We’re all fine here, Darling,” said a very tired Rarity from the huddle of her friends as they used each other as a prop to keep from falling over in exhaustion.
“I just wish I could say the same for my mane,” she finished with a defeated sigh. I’d say that a missing bit of mane was the least of her concerns; nopony had seen that minotaur coming and if I wasn’t as supernaturally fast as I am, she would likely be missing the head that her mane was attached to instead.
“And I wish I wasn’t being treated like a sack of potatoes,” came the grumbling reply from Perfect Count. I’d have laughed at how she was thrown over Hammerstike’s back but I really didn’t want the death glare she had leveled at the side of his head pointed in my direction. Hammerstrike, on the other hand, was doing his best to not look directly at the mare he currently had tied up, and I swear to you he was blushing while he did it.
“You’ve made your point, Rider,” said Celestia as she stormed over to where I stood, breaking me from my survey of the, now, much larger group of ponies. A few of the assembled ponies I recognized as those our group picked up on the way to the throne room, the rest must have already been seeking shelter here.
“What are you on about now?” I asked, not bothering to hide the irritation in my voice.
“You’ve won. So you can call off your rabid pack of followers now.” Was she being serious?
“Wow, you really don’t pay attention, do you? I ain’t with them.”
“You must be. You certainly don’t expect me to believe that a shady group of ponies would attempt a coup on the same day that you just happened to be here and that it would stop your execution, do you?” She really is that stupid… or blind. I’ll just go with stupid. “Well? What are your demands?”
“I don’t have any demands, dumbass. If you would pull your head out of your massive ass for two seconds you would have noticed that they were doing their best to kill me too.”
“A clever ruse on your part, I’ll admit-”
“Oh sweet Christ on a crutch.”
-----
“Storm Kicker, we need to talk,” said Hammerstike, as he indicated a somewhat private corner of the packed throne room. Storm had known this was coming ever since she decked Trixie to free the Rider and didn’t put up a fight as she followed her team leader to the indicated corner.
“Care to explain to explain your actions, Kicker, or should I take a wild stab at it? I’m pretty sure I can figure out what’s going on but I’d very much rather hear it from the one betrayed this team’s trust.”
“It’s… kinda hard to explain,” replied Storm Kicker as she fidgeted nervously. She was no stranger to being yelled at by her superiors but deep down she knew that this was far worse than that.
“Well then, you better figure out how to make it easy before I lose what little patience I have left.”
“Okay, I know this will sound crazy but… while I was unconscious after facing the Rider… I had a… dream.”
“A dream. Seriously? You expect me to believe that you risked all our lives and those of the Princesses because of a dream?”
“I say dream,” Storm Kicker stammered, “but it just felt too… real for that. Almost like déjà vu.”
“So what happened in this dream?” asked Hammerstrike, as worry quickly began to replace the anger he had felt previously.
“It was really weird; I really don’t know how to explain it. It was almost like I was seeing the end of the world, but… not.”
“Did that thing cause it?”
“No, he was there, but it didn’t seem like his doing. In fact… he was crying.”
“Crying?”
“Yeah, he was crying over these three fillies that I’ve never seen before.”
“That doesn’t make any sense, even for a prophetic dream.”
“Or maybe,” said a third voice, “You’ve all been wrong about the Rider ever since he got free. Maybe, he’s not as bad as you think.”
“Really?” both Hammerstike and Storm Kicker deadpanned as they stared blankly at Perfect Count, who was still tied up and draped across Hammerstike’s back. They had forgotten all about her being there when their, what they thought would be private, meeting had begun.
“What? I’m just saying. He did rescue me from the slavers that killed my parents, if for no other reason than it was the right thing to do.”
“While I doubt that,” said Hammerstike, before turning back to Storm Kicker, “we will continue this conversation later.”
“Yes, sir,” snapped Storm Kicker before she turned and disappeared into the crowd.
“You really shouldn’t be so hard on her, she only did what she felt was right.”
“Nopony asked you for your opinion, so keep them to yourself,” snapped Hammerstrike at the pony draped across his back.
“Oh, handsome and feisty, talk about a double whammy that any girl could fall for,” flirted Perfect as she smacked Hammerstrike on the cutie mark with her bound whooves.
“Please don’t do that,” said Hammerstrike quickly as he turned to face where the Rider and Celestia were yelling at each other so that he could hide his blush.
“But it’s such a nice flank and it might be fun to get to know the pony it’s attached to.” Hammerstike was never gladder that the pretty mare using him as a free ride couldn’t see his face.
