Misadventures Of Pony Writings.

by DashyJ

Battle Of The Randoms

Warning!
The following Below contains in no particular order: Minor Soul Calibre 4 references, Reindeer, Shiny Stuff, Mad Cow disease, Poop, and above all else Pony OC's yelling at each other because they were bored.

This was a conversation that my friend and I actually had. No we weren't doing drugs nor were we drunk. We are just crazy like that. Don't do drugs they are bad for you kids.

Prepare.

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It all started on a summer afternoon. Dashy was just heading in from working outside. The heat of the sun bearing down on his back, sweat running down his body. It feels great to be alive.

Stripping down to the bare necessities, much to his mother’s protests, Dashy let his hands drift below his belt to hold onto his stallionhood like every other man does when he gets home.

Drifting down the stairs was nothing special. Smash the door with his head; scare the shit out of his dog, etc. What he really was interested in, was what his phone had to say.

Walking into his room Dashy spotted his phone on his bed.

Dat bed. It makes all the fella's jealous. (Ironically his phone is a piece of shit, but that's beside the point.) "Hmm I wonder what wonderful ladies have texted me?" He thought out loud to himself.

While he did indeed get a text from a rather attractive lady, something else caught Dashy's attention. His bro Bryan had texted him. Bro's before Ho's.

It appeared as if his friend was in a random mood. So their conversation went a little something like this. (The conversation goes Bryan, Dashy, and repeats)

---

"Lol..... YOU SON OF A BITCH! Imma kill you. I'm going to finish my ham, fly to Saskatoon, and shoot you, in your bitch face"

"But what about the 3rd generation ponies? They aren't eating each other!"

"MAD COW DISEASE BITCH ASS!"

"MOOLIA HAS GONE NUTS! RUN FOR THE HILLS! THE SNAKES WILL PROTECT US!"

"NOOO! THE SNAKES WILL FALL BACKWARDS, FOR THE HILL IS TOO STEEP! AND THEY ATE MY CHEESIES!"

"THOSE BASTARDS! THEY FUCKED UP THE FOOD CHAIN! IT’S SUPPOSED TO BE THE CANNIBAL TIGER WHO SNORTS HIS OWN CHEESE!"

(From here on in I have no idea what the fuck went down.)

"THE REINDEERS DEVOUR ELF FLESH, FOR THEY HAVE TURNED INTO FERAL CANNIBALS!"

"But that is the problem! What happens when Elves stop making sacrifices to the Reindeers? WE AIN’T GOT NO MAGIC CHRISTMAS! CAUSE THE REINDEERS ARE EATING EACH OTHER!"

"THERE IS NO SACRIFICE! THE ELVES JUST WALK OUTSIDE, AND DON'T KNOW WHERE THEY ARE AND GET DEVOURED BECASUE THEY ARE STUPID!"

"By fling imposters!?! They aren't cows! They aren't reptiles! They aren't OLD MAN SUPER TESTICLES..."

Only silence...

"What could they be?"

"They are... They are something else..."

"They are something we can't comprehend! For they cannot be the things you said, and they can’t be what I am thinking of... But must be something SHINY AS FUCK!"

"FUCK'N SHINY SHIT! I CAN'T EVEN SEE IT! ITS LIKE CELESTIA TOOK A BIG SHIT AND THE TOILET EXPLODED! But yet... We will never know..."

"I GO! TO SUPPER AND SOON I SHALL EPLODE THY TOILET!"

"GOO LUCK! FOR THINE TOILET HAS NOT FELT THINE WRATH!"

------------------------------------------------------20 minutes later---------------------------------------------------------

"THOUST TOILET DID TASTE THY WRATH FROM THE STEAK AND MUSHROOM PIZZA!"

"THY TOILET WILL NEVER BREAKTHE PEACE AGAIN! FOR IT SHALL ALWAYS REMEMBER THE SHOTGUN SHIT!"

"IT WAS SMASHED INTO OBLIVION FROM THE PONY BOWELS!"

"Ahh. Bowels. The ancient and evil creature. First conjured by Reptile the Invisible and Old Man Wrinkly Balls!"

"REPTILE THE INVISIBLE TORE OFF THE SAGGY PEA TETICLES OF THE OLD MAN AND RAMMED THEM DOWN HIS OLD FUCKING TEACIOUS THROAT!"

"BUT THEN IT CREATED A SUPER NUT WHICH THE LD MAN T-BAGGED THE REPTILE SO HARD THAT HE NOW HAS A HOLE IN HIS CHEST!"

"Fuck you"

"Fuck you too"

"We should go to the Ex this summer and troll bitches"

Comments

[Veyron]

just wah?