It's Ole Neccy!

by Cades

More Fleshies and Talking!

"Twilight, what are you doing here?" The giant, horned chicken asked medium sized purple thing.

"Well, princess, we were looking for those three," Purple points to the young fleshies that I rescued, "When this alien came out of the brush, with them on its head and shoulders."

"Hm. Curious. Do you know how it got here?" White chicken asked purple thing.

"Uh, no princess. All we saw was a single bolt of green lightning, and that's it," Purple responded.

"Hm. Alien, where are you from?" My head jerked up when I figured out that the big, white chicken was talking to me. I really don't like when beings of authority talk to me. And by talk I mean the Necron Lord I'm serving under just points at me and signals what I should do.

"Um. E-excuse me p-princess. B-but he c-can't speak..." I really like the small white one, even more now that it is speaking up for me. Takes some real, as the humies say, balls to speak to speak to a person of authority without being spoken to.

“Really, now?” Big ass white chicken looks at me, and is about to speak when a slightly smaller, dark blue chicken intercepts.

“Yes, it seems that this beast doth not possess mouth,” The blue above average height blue chicken says, walking up to the larger chicken. And really? Beast? I’ll have you know that I am no beast!

Big white chicken thing is about to speak, when an angry sounding howl fills the air. Instead, she suggests that it is best if we back out of the forest. When we left the forest, we skirted around a medium sized town. Why were we doing this? I don’t know, for I was not paying attention to what they were talking about after we heard the howl. Where we ended up seemed like another forest. Except that there was a considerable distance between each tree, and they were placed in a grid pattern. Upon closer inspection, these trees had, in addition to the green stuff, red orbs.

We approached a rather large building that was painted red. Don’t know why, but I get anxious around things that are red. Maybe, just maybe, it was those pesky human flashlights that shot those beams of red at me. And I tell you, they HURT. Oh shut it. I still feel pain even though I’m made from metal.

“Red... why is it always red?” Everything looked up at me. Oh shit. Did I talk? That was supposed to be a thought! Curses! Good thing I spoke in my native tongue! But I still gave away that I can talk.

Okay. Here is where some things get cleared up. I am a Necron Immortal, and I think I am broken. The language these fleshies speak is similar to that which the humans use, albeit rather informal. The three things of varying annoyingness have befriended me because I saved them. The huge ass white chicken and the smaller blue chicken things have a lot of armored fleshies that are glaring at me. I don’t like the color red. I like long walks on the beach with a smoking hot Eldar. Just kidding. I hate the Eldar. Those elves were made by the Old Ones, and I hate the Old Ones. I’m the O to the L-E-N-E-C-C-Y, and ain’t no Necron be as broke as me. I’m Neccylicious. Yes. I just did that. Also, I named my gauss blaster. I named it Thor, acronym for The Hertz of Rudeness. Who the hell is the... God of Thunder? You’re crazy. Also, the large chicken thing is smaller than your truly.

So with all the fleshies looking at me, I start to panic. Just a little. But I try my best to remain calm, and point to my self and mimic talking, all with my left hand. As I shrug, most eyes revert away from my. Oh, and when I said all eyes were looking at me, I lied. The not annoying white one was actually on my head. I put it on there on the walk here, making the larger white one protest. I do not know why it protested, but it did.

As we entered the giant red building, I was mildly surprised. There was absolutely no red in here. Except the red fleshy thing lying on a pile of what I believe is straw. The medium sized orange one walked over to it, poked it a couple times, and said something to it. What orange said will remain a mystery because I was too busy with the three small things, who were climbing all over me. I think the medium white one passed out. I manage to suppress laughter at the medium white one. What? I may be broken, but I’m not entirely good. I mean come one. I’m a sixty million year old zombie robot who hates all life. I mean come on! I have a plan to kill—The white one is now on my weapon. If I had a heart, I’m sure it would would explode at the way she is looking at me.

I push all those that are in my way out of my way, looking straight down at the white one on my weapon. I then sit down on a round looking wooden thing, and it surprisingly handles my weight. I take my left hand, pat it on the head a couple of times, and put my thumb and index finger on the center of my mouth, and simulate a smile using my two appendages on my hand. I then point to myself, and repeat the smile gesture. I am about to pet it on the head a couple more times when the huge chicken thing interrupted me by clearing its throat.

“Now, that we are safe from whatever may be lurking in the Everfree Forest, I want to know how an alien, especially one that I have not seen before, managed to find its way onto this planet,” It asked me. Wait. Other aliens have came here?

I pondered this for a good three seconds, my... I want to say brain, but do I even have a brain? I probably don’t have a brain. But if I don’t have a brain, how am I thinking? Anyway, whatever it is that I use to think was working hard, trying to come up with any possibilities as to why I woke up on this strange, organicy planet, and not wanting to kill everything I see. It came up with one solution: Shrug.

What I believe were her eyebrows rose at my answer. The other chicken with a stabby device on its head walked up, and said something that I didn’t catch, was too busy with the small white thing.

You know, I just got really bored. Was I reprogrammed with a shorter attention span as well as not wanting to destroy all organic life. Is it a specific reprogramming that applies just to this planet? Or was I completely reprogrammed? Maybe I’ll learn what’s wrong with me, maybe I won’t.

The purple one tells the big white thing something that I don’t quite catch, and the white one looks outside, my gaze follows, and I spot a really big purple bubble over what looks like a city built onto a mountain. That is pretty cool. The white thing says something that I don’t catch at all, and exits, followed by the other horned chicken and a large amount of identical things, leaving four identical things and one with a spear like object on its head.

The purple one walked up to them, engaging in conversation with the one wearing slightly more ornate armor. I wonder how strong their armor is. Probably not as strong as my body, or that armor those bigger humans with those weapons that shoot exploding things at us wear. I feel like I should test that sometime. Why? Because I’m a curious little Necron. Well, little isn’t the correct term to use, since I’m about ten feet tall. Oh, I love irony, don’t you, reader?

I love irony!

What the—Who are you?

I’m Pinkie Pie! Who are you?

Well, I’m Ole Neccy. Ya know, the giant metal zombie robot with the three little fleshies things on it.

Oh, you mean the Crusaders! They’re nice fillies, and they seem to like you! And that means that I like you too! GASP! I have to throw you a party!

Party? Uh, Pinkie Pie? Hello? You there? I guess not. Well. What just happened? Because I don’t even know. All I... felt was a noise that was pink and then we had a small conversation. And one other question: What is a party? I will ponder this later.

In the meantime, the purple one disengaged its conversation with the five armored things, and walked over to your truly, while the five things went outside, to stand guard this building, I presume. The purple one walked outside, with three others, leaving the white and purple one, orange one, and what Pinkie said were the Crusaders.

“Can I pleeease stay here, Rarity? Please?” Adorable white one asked the medium white one.

“Yeah, sis. Can ah stay in the barn, too?” Small yellowish one asked large orangey one.

“Well, if Applejack says it’s okay, Sweetie...” Medium white one responded to small white one.

“Ah guess... But ah won’t like it. Ah don’t like th’ looks o’ him,” Orange one responded to the small yellow one.

Both gave a cheer, while the orange and purple one was sleeping on my chest. What, I didn’t tell you that I went to lie down on a bed of hay? I must be way out of it to forget something as simple as that. Anyway, the other two ran over, and made themselves comfortable on my metal body. Heh, adorable.

As my gaze came to rest on the ceiling, I started to regain a memory of sorts to about a millennia ago, when the sixty thousand Sleep was over....

“Sir, sir! The left flank reports a monolith among the ranks! We can’t hold them back any longer!” A low ranking Imperial Guard officer radios in to command, using his vox.

“Earthshakers, fire on that Monolith! Basilisks and Manticores, keep up the fire. I want nothing to get past this line!” The Imperial Guard General orders his men, over the vox.

“Yes sir,” Comes the reply from the man in charge of the Earthshaker platforms. Almost immediately, the area around the Necron monolith was set ablaze by the shells coming from the Earthshakers.

The General allowed himself a small smile at the short amount of time it took the left flank to receive support from the Earthshakers. This smile quickly fell as he heard the screams of Guardsmen directly outside of the large control room he was in. Immediately, all of the Storm Troopers’ guns were pointed at the door, waiting. The door opened.

Running into the room is an extremely bloody Guardsman, missing his right arm and helmet. He stops in front of the General and collapses, muttering something about Necrons in the base. The General orders the door to be closed and sealed.

Seconds later, the door bursts open in a cloud of dust and green lightning. Everything in the room opens fire immediately, save for the General. Next, comes silence. Then, the form of a Necron Immortal enters the room, gauss blaster at the ready. This Necron is followed by four Necron Warriors.. A quick exchange of fire results in over half of the Storm Troopers and Command Staff dead, the General injured, and most of the Necrons destroyed, by means of grenades and the General’s Lightning Claws. The only surviving Necron, the necron Immortal, is lying on the ground, head on the wall. The General smiles, then gasps as the blades of a Necron Wraith find their mark, in the General’s torso. He looks down, and sees claws protruding from his chest. The Wraith lifts him into the air, and rips him in two as the Necron Immortal stands back up. Both Wraith and Immortal kill everyone inside of the Command Center, then depart.

...They were talking too much. I hate talking.

Author's Note:

Tell me where I messed up, grammatical errors, spelling errors, stuff that doesn't make sense, etc etc. I'll fix it.

Comments

[Walrus King]

I'm liking the of the story. Just wondering why he refers to Humans the same way Orks do. He doesn't seem to be very Orky to me.

[Cades]

2467281
Because spoilers.

[More_Dakka]

Why do warhammer characters always have to be so nice to ponies? It's boring how overused these set devices are. The cool thing about Warhammer is that there ARE NO GOOD GUYS, everyone is a bastard in some sense. Yet here, you have one of the worst characters, being nice to Xenos. It's not badly written, just, dull and predictable.

[Cades]

2469930
Spoilers!

[shadowblitz13]

this is awesome.nuff said....or something like that....

this is one of the few crossovers that doesn't need more dakka

[Cades]

2497693
That will be addressed later on.