A horse is a horse, of course, of course.

by Angel

And no one can talk to a horse, of course.

A horse is a horse, of course, of course

Part 3

Mr Ed dashed away, having been hit on the head not once, but twice by the valiant knight Spike in an attempt to protect lady Rarity. Needless to say, he was successful. Mr Ed was fleeing for his life, straight out of Ponyville, being followed by Spike, Twilight, Rarity, and Cheerilee, each for his or her own reasons.

As he ran down a long dusty road, he slowed down and took in the scene.

Apples. Hundreds of the red delicious bastards. He was in the middle of a giant apple orchard. He stopped, and craned his long neck to a nearby apple tree, examining the round red things up close.

Applejack was bucking apples nearby on the other side of the road, when she noticed a potential customer eyeing her hard work. She jumped the fence in a few short gallops and approached the stranger.

"Well, howdy! Welcome to Sweet Apple Acres! Finest apples in all of Equestria! What can I do ya for?"

Applejack noticed he was taller than most ponies. Tall as princess Celestia, in fact.

Applejack's words went in one furry ear and right out the other as he leaned in closer and plucked an apple right from the tree. He then proceeded to devour it greedily.

"Hey mister! Ya can't just start eatin' apples without buyin' em first!"

Suddenly, Spike stopped a short distance from Mr Ed, next to Applejack.

"Hey, Applejack. This wise guy givin' you any trouble?" He said, leering at Mr Ed.

"He sure is! He's just eatin' mah apples, right off the tree!"

Mr Ed whirled around on the spot. He recognized Spike's voice, and he managed to put 2 and 2 together.

He whinnied loudly, and did that thing where they stand on two legs, flailing their front legs wildly in the air, and took off. Down the road, straight towards the barn.

"Oh no you don't!" Cried Spike as he charged towards Mr Ed, revenge clearly in his mind.

"What in the hay?" Applejack managed before Twilight approached her.

"Applejack! Have you seen Spike?"

"Uh, yeah. He went after that..."

"That really tall pony?"

"Yep."

"Follow me!"

Suddenly

"I'm coming my love!"

"No, he's mine!"

"Get your magic away from me!"

Twilight and Applejack saw Rarity and Cheerilee running neck to neck, eagerly trying to throw themselves at the object of their affection, much to the other's dismay. Twilight and Applejack had to jump out of the way to avoid Rarity and Cheerilee's clashes, but Applejack was hit by a stray bolt of magic, and was turned into a living disco ball.

"So sorry, Applejack! I hope you understand~~!" Rarity called out as they both neared the barn.

"Twilight! What's wrong with mah hair?!"

Twilight couldn't help but giggle a little. Applejack certainly would be able to catch her affection's attention, but for all the wrong reasons. Applejack frowned a little.

"Twilight! This is serious! Ah look like some kind ah magical clown, or somethin'!"

That really set Twilight off. She fell over on the ground laughing, clutching her belly.

"Twilight!"

"I'm-I;m sorry, Ah-Applejack! I really am!" Twilight choked out between bursts of laughter.

Applejack groaned. Twilight would be of no help while she couldn't help herself. Applejack waited patiently, while turning more colours that Rainbow Dash's mane.

After several seconds, Twilight composed herself.

"Okay Applejack... I think I might have a book in dispelling magic back in the library. But I don't think you can follow in your condition."

"Wait. AH wanna come. Ah think ah have a cloak and some work boots in the barn. Lemme fetch 'em."

"Okay, but don't be gone too long."

"Ah won't."

______________________________

"So, It all comes down to this."

No reply.

"Well, Mr Perfect." Spike spat, adding emphasis on Mr. Perfect.

"You think you can just walk into Ponyville, and steal the girl of my dreams? Well, this town ain't big enough for the both of us."

"Spike, you don't have do this..."

"No Rarity, I must do this."

"Spike please. Look at this reasonably for a minute." Rarity begged as she approached Spike, the darkness hiding the determination on his face and the stress and worry on hers.

"Your the only dragon for me."

"I've seen the way you look at him. Like he's your prince charming."

"Spike, I would never do that! You know that."

Spike had no more to say. It had all come down to this. It was now, or never.

Suddenly, a multitude of light and colour emanated from the door. Applejack had opened the barn door looking for her duds and a cloak to hide her shame. Spike didn't notice. He crouched down a little, and jumped in the air for one final bonk with the frying pan. Unfortunately, Mr Ed was spooked by Applejack's bright personality, and he charged out of his corner and right through the wall, sending wood chips and broken planks everywhere.

Spike went flying into the corner face first. His frying pan went flying out of his hand, soaring above Rarity's and Applejack's head, and out the door. Outside, Twilight was almost ambushed in the face by a flying frying pan. It flew right out of the barn and landed just meters from her front hooves.

"Oh no! Something must have happened to Spike!" She thought aloud.

She picked up the frying pan by the handle with her mouth and galloped valiantly towards the barn.

______________________________

"What in the hay is goin' on in here?!"

"Ugh... My face..." Spike groaned.

"Oh, Applejack! My dear, you look..."

"Help me..." Spike whispered to the corner.

"Mmph!" Came the response from a bound-and-gagged Cheerilee in another corner.

"Quiet you!" Hissed Rarity, glaring at Cheerilee. She simply returned the icy stare with one of her own.

"Ow..."

"Oh Spike! Are you okay?"

Spike slowly got to his feet. Rarity shrieked.

"Oh Celestia, Spike! Your nose is bleeding!"

Sure enough, there was blood on the corner of the wall. And Spike's nose was crushed slightly, and dripping blood.

"Haha!" Spike cheered, with a triumphant look on his face.

"Spike? Why are you cheering?"

Spike couldn't answer, because Applejack interrupted.

"Um, Ah think ah'll just get my coat an' leave..."

Applejack slinked away from the drama that is Spike, leaving Rarity, Spike, and Cheerilee alone. Cheerilee started shouting muffled shouts and fidgeting for all she was worth. Spike was explaining to Rarity how his nose was a battle-scar he acquired defending her from the heart-snatcher.

"Oh Spike..." Rarity teased, with a seductive look on her face.

"How about we clean up that broken nose, and then I can show my appreciation properly. And with that, Rarity kissed Spike.

Then, Twilight made her appearance, frying pan still in her mouth. She dropped it when she saw the scene.

"...Did I miss anything important?"

"Oh my dear, Spike was so brave. And so tough..."

"Aw jeez, Rarity."

"Come on Spike, that nose isn't going to fix itself."

Rarity and Spike departed through the hole Mr Ed left.

"Mmph! Mmph!!"

"What? Oh, what happened to you Cheerilee?"

"Mmph!"

"Let's get those ropes off you..."

Comments

[Moon_Dew]

I'm not sure now would be a good time to untie Cheerlie...especially if Twilight places any value on Rarity's physical health.

[Tech_Priest]

Jesus !
First Big Mac, now Mister Ed.
Size is not everything, you know that. Right Cherliee?