Teh greatest fic evah!1!

by Phoenix Quill

You only need one chapter!

Once apon a tiem in Equestria, there was a black coated and red maned alicorn named Gothic McEmo.

And he was super awesome, he lived in poneville in a castle that he built himself out of the black roks found in teh bottom of the river in the everfree forist.

One day he was shiopping for a new notebook because his old one was full peotry and he needed to write every day so that he can become a better poet. And also he needed bread because he was out, but he would not admit to that because cool guys do not need bread.

Anyhow as he was walking through the streats all of the mares in town, and a few of the stallions too were all staring at him because he was soo dark and mysteriously good looking.

As always he ignored them because he was a reble that bucked the system, and did not need to have a special somepone to be compleet.

And Then he was at the market, and was looking at the notebooks and quills at the sofa and quills shot when he haered a very quiet voice, "Excuse me, but I have all these feathers my bird friends had pulled out when they were molting, can I sell them to you?":

Gorhic McEmo turned around and saww the butter yellow pegasus with pink hair for the first time, and he knew then and there that he was in love for the first time in his life.

He quickly looked over himself in the glass of the counter to make sure he looked his best (He always did byt he wanted to be sure.) And then he went up to the yellow pegasus and said, "Hi,"

The pegasus maded a sound like this, "meep" and hid in her pink haiir.

Gothic McEmo frowned a little bit, (lol bit get it?!) and he tilted his head, "What is wrong?" He said, "I just wanted to meat you."

The pegasus moved her hair a little bit and pawed the wood floor nervously, "My name is Fluttershy," she started, "Who are you?"

The red maned black alicorn smiled as he flared his wings, which are bigger than a normal pegasis because he is an alicorn, "I am Gothic McEmo, and I am madly in love with you! Please will you go out with me?"

Fluttershy squeeked before she backed away a little, "I'm sorry but I do not date, I would just mess things up":

And then she ran away.

***

Gothic MicEmo was sad.

After fluttershy ran away, he left the store with his new note book and a set of quills and ink. After that he wrote for housr on end in the book filling it all the way to thend with deppressiv poems about being in love and rejected form it.

After that he drinked a cup of esspresso and used a racer blade to cut his hair different because he wanted to make his a-line cut perfect before tring again.

When he left the castle black stone he flew back to the twon and was again swaremed with a bunch of mares and stallions that wanted to date him, and he had to buck a few in the faces to make them go away, finally he found the libarary and went inside to find abook on how to get the mare of your dreams.

He knew the libararyan well enough. And he walked up to the counter to the Purple alicorn, "Hi Twilight, hows it going?"

Alicorn twilight smiled as she used her magic to go through the boox, "What can I help you with toda?"

"Twilgiht I think I am in love, and I just met hertoday." He said with a nervous smile, "Can I have a book on how to win a shy ponys heart?"

ohkay? Hwo is the lucky mare?" Twilight said with a smile.

"She said she is Fluttershy! and I am inlove with her but she does not like me much, and that makes me so sad, that I almost cut myself, but I did not because I'ts stupid, so I just cut my hair aagin and wrote poems and drank a bunch of coffee."

Twilight blinked for a few moments before smiling at the blakc alicorn. "You know, Fluttershy is my friedn, If you give her some animal food, and a bouquete of pansies she will love you forever I am sure of it."

Are you sure? He said as he raised an eye brow at twilgiht.

"Yes I am sure of it, because she loves flowers, but she loves animals more."

OK thanks you twilight!~" and then he left the lybrare to go get some flowers and animal food.

****

An hour later after he got the flowers and a big bag of animal food, Gothic McEmo was flying high over ponebille and using his horn to cast a spell to find Flutershy.

His horn cast out an arow and he folloed it and it lead him to a house with more animalls than the zoo.

He landed and knocked on the front door, and after a few moments, (But not too long) it oppened. "Hi Remember me? I brought you some Pansys and food for your animals.

"Oh myh, thank you!" Flutershy said as she threw open the door and gave him a hug, "Come in and make youself at home."

There were hundereds of animals everywhere and it smeleld terrible because of the animals all over the places but he did not care as he sat down in a chair by the door. Flutterhsy then went and fed the animals and ate the pansys he gave her.

"F;utershy, I think I am in love with you, will you be my special somepone? He asked her with a smile."

Fltuuershy then cried and used her tail to whipe her tears off her face (ew) I can't because I am an elemant of harmone I can not date unless you are a prince. Because Celestia said so."

Gothic McEmo then felt his eyes water as iff the floodgates were opned "Its ok, I understand." He then left to never come back.

*****

wHEN McEmo got home, he cryed for days on end. And he played his guitar, and wrote a lot of songs and poems bbecause of how deep the pain was in his black soul.

He did not eat or drink anything either because he was so sad.

It was two months later, when he suddenly had a vuiseter come to his door, and he opened it. It was Princess Celestia and so he bowed to her and then Luna was there too, and he bowed to her as well, "Hi are you Gothic McEmo?"

And then he nodded, "yes your magesties I am."

Then they came in, "We have something important to tell you, Your great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great grandfather was my sisters son." Celestia said as she pointed out to Luna, "So you are her Great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great Grandson, and a prince!"

"Really?" McEmo said, So your my great oh so many times over Grandmother princess Luna?"

"Yes, but to make things easy you can just call me and Celestia Aunt Celestia and Luna. It saves time." McEmo nodded at the wisdom of his ancestor before asking a question, "So I can date Fluttershy now if I wanted to?"

"Yes you can!" Celestia said with a smile. And then he cast a spell and Fluttershy poofed in front of him.

Fluttershy, Imma prince! So we can date, Aunt Celestia Saied so!"

Fluttershy smiled because now she wasn't sad anymore, and so did Gothic McEmo because how can he be sad when he has the bestest pony in the world for his own.

****

Well Fluttershy and McEmo did date after that, and they were very happy.

So happy that McEmo never cut his hair, or himself in anger or sadness again.

After he became known to be a prince, and that he was dating Fluttershy, everyone celebrated the new prince, and then were saddened that they could not date him because he was with Fluttershy.

Five years later McEmo and Fluttershy got married, and they had a great marrage, and had a whole bunch of babies together. and They lived happily ever after because being a alicorn prince is awesome

Author's Note:

Happy First day of the Fourth month of the year.

As for this story all I have to say is, I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry.

Comments

[DaemoN67]

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[CDFA]

If this isn't a satire then I'm going to jump off of a cliff.

[CDFA]

2356012

But if it is a satire, then your character needs more accessories. How can you be Gothic McEmo without some swaggin' sunglasses and a snapback?

[OtterMatt]

I love everything about this story, no fools involved. Especially how it just keeps getting worse as it goes.
Gothic McEmo is best pone.

[Snuggie88]

Tihs is Teh bast FCi eVAh

[airbournesquid]

Red+blak R best alycorne pones

But in all honesty, this earned more than a fair few laughs on my side, I tip my hat to you.

[horizon]

Ok first off all Gothic is a sucky pony. He asked Fluttershy for the date and she said no. Any REAL pony would havegotten her love right away.

Second you need more sports

So I have to downvote EXTRA hard. I downvote so hard it turn around back into green vote. THAT IS HOW HARD I DOWNVOTE YOUR SUCKY THING.

[Phoenix Quill]

2357391
Oh yea? Well at least my storee is not a snow clone of someone elsees fic!

[WolfWords]

wow just im my mind just exploded in 2,0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 pieces

[Protocol]

I may love you. Just a little. Please marry me.

[Phoenix Quill]

2360606
knooo I cant we are too different you and I.

But thank you for teh offer!

[Robertshy]

I'd be scared too if an alicorn wanted to meat me.

Also, I think it would have been more funny if Fluttershy was doing something embarrassing when uber McbestPone poofed her in front of him.

[Purgatory]

Still a better love story than Twilight.
This fic made my sides explode, and I may or may not send you the bill for my hospital visit. Either way you are a genius.

Have some Poptarts, I dare you to resist them.

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[Phoenix Quill]

2362387
Oh I love them, thank you!

[Queen Fangirl]

I liked the story a lot, but the misspelled words gave me a headache.
There are so much, in fact, that I don't want to even correct them all while reading. Owo

[Phoenix Quill]

2365309
Ah, well that was done on purpose, and belive me as the author I nearly had an attack from doing things so badly all for the sake of a joke.

[Leaf Dust]

My Celestia this sucks.
I'm so glad you don't actually write like this.

[Lord_of_Shadows]

I put a liek to dah story so "The balance can be restored!"

[Pyrotechnic]

hmmmm...... My Immortal references anyone?.... Soon as I saw the name, I thought My Immortal, so until otherwise, that is what I will believe.....

[Pyrotechnic]

My Immortal references anyone?

Actually, this was better then My Immortal. It was wayyyy easier to read then that piece of shit... I found it funny and highly enjoyable.

OH MY GOD I was entertained by a troll fic I think I just felt my soul die.

[Phoenix Quill]

2671111
Your soul tastes delicious... Muhuhaha!

If you wish to see my serious work, I am working on several stories, including Discord Writes a Ship Fic, A story about the now liberated spirit of Chaos, writing terrible love stories for entertainment to help with the boredom of working for Celestia as the Minister of Practical Chaos. Captain KIrk, Equestrian! is a Star Trek TOS crossover, where Kirk, and a red shirt named Ensign Ricky Smith, falls into a black hole to awake in Equestria, as ponies.
Lastly, but certainly not least, is my Story What are little ponies made of? An all OC cast stars to tell the tale of a family falling apart, and a young pegasus artist forced to work in Cloudsdale with his older brother as a mechanic to make ends meet. But not all is as it seems, especially in Division Seven, where many ponies seem to go in, but nopony ever seems to come out.

If any of those interest you, click my name and find the stories to your hearts content!

[Eventide Indigo]

I am laughing so hard! Thank you!

[Phoenix Quill]

2918574
Your'e welcome Aqualad!
i mean, VIoa Velvet.

[Eventide Indigo]

2920311 You're right! I AM a total aqualad!

... at least I'm not Kiteman.

[Dorkking]

The sad part is, there are a ton of stories like this on this site that people have written as a serious story, not a joke like you made it to be. so when's the sequel? Cuz I wanna know when he finds out he's actually an immortal human-turned-pony prince with lazer beam eyes.

[Phoenix Quill]

3345914

Probably April 1st, I try to come up with a new joke chapter, or joke story every April Fools day.

[Chaplain]

Love the way you threw in a bit of drama with the relationship between Fluttershy and the protagonist by making their love forbidden. It becomes even more profound as all the succes in his life suddenly falls flat and becomes pointless, providing a clear perception of how Fluttershy's rejection influenced his emotional state

You depicted Gothic McEmo's anguish and state of mind so flawlessly that I naturally found myself understanding him, even when I felt I didn't have anything in common with him whatsoever, and the way you gradually build up tension throught out story, ending with a mindblowing deus ex machina moment when Luna and Celestia are finally reunited with him, and reveal that he is in fact a long lost descendant, was unlike anything I have ever seen on this site. This is truly a diamond in the rough, and a sign of great potential.

That said, there are a few grammar and spelling errors, like how you spelt 'town' wrong at one point.
If you intend to continue this story, and I totally think you should, you would do well to get a few pre-readers. I'm sure you wont have trouble finding them.

[Frogmyre]

I... have no idea if I should love this or hate it. But in the spirit of Trollfics posted on April 1st, I know my answer!

[miceordogs]

And also he needed bread because he was out, but he would not admit to that because cool guys do not need bread.

I do not need bread. Am I a cool guy?

[Phoenix Quill]

11545140
Teh coolerist