Chapter 15: Call Me
Edited by: uSea
CHAPTER 15: Call Me
Psychiatric Help 5¢ - The Doctor is IN
DAY 12 - TIME approximately 10:30 A.M. - LOCATION: Broccoli Fields, Big 52 S Branch
Broccoli, the capital of... well, you guessed it. All around the town rose fortified farms surrounded by green and yellow fields; the crop didn't seem healthy nor yummy, but growing anything in this tainted and sunless land already seemed a great success. A couple of figures in the distance were working in the fields, but they didn't pay any attention to the yellow filly moving from the north along the Big 52; unlike the farmers, a solitary spritebot patrolling the road immediately noticed the yellow bolt and stopped broadcasting its usual patriotic songs, instead turning towards the incoming filly.
“Hi Puppysmiles, have you got a mom-” The filly zoomed past Watcher. “-ent? Aw, foals! Hey, wait you little lady! Waaait!” The spritebot chased Puppy trying to catch her attention.
“Sorry Questioner, I'm really in a hurry! I want to get to Broccoli before my mom goes away again!” The filly kept zooming while she replied to the robot's summons.
“Please! At least tell me what happened in Ivory Tower! I can't follow you into town!”
“Ah, nothing special! Some stars fell from the sky and all the town went boom! It was fun and a little scary, but mom wasn't there so it's alright!”
“Yes, but what made those 'stars' fall?” insisted the robot.
“Ah, I don't know...” The filly stopped abruptly, suddenly realizing something. “Oh no! I forgot it! Stoopid Puppy! Stoopid, stoopid!” The foal began hitting herself on the helmet with a hoof.
“What now? What did you forget?” From the robot's voice it was easy to tell he was both worried and stumped. “Was it important?”
Puppy jumped down from the scooter and trotted towards a rock, hitting it with her head and continuing her mantra. “Stoopid!” BONK! “Stoopid!” BONK! “Stoopid!” BONK!
“Stop that! You'll break your helmet, Puppy! Now please calm down and tell me what's wrong, maybe I could help you or find somepony that can help...” The spritebot floated next to the filly in yellow, bumping gently against her shoulder. “C'mon, you're a big pony, I'm sure it's nothing that can't be solved...”
“No!” BONK! “You don't understand!” BONK! “It's too late nao!” BONK! “Stoopid!” BONK! “Stoopid!” BONK!
“Oh, c'mon Puppy, you remind me of...” The robot's voice stopped for a moment, as if he caught himself thinking about things he didn't want to recall. “Ah... I'm sure we can fix it; I'm your friend, don't cry little one and tell me what's wrong, we will find a solution, okay? Just... don't do like that... please...” The robot's voice was filled with pain and sadness.
Puppy must have caught the change in Watcher's voice, because she stopped headbutting the rock, sat down and sighed. “I... I forgot a very important thing, Mister Questioner, but I had to do it when I was in Ivory Tower and now that the stars are fallen and the place is gone I can't do it anymore... I am a silly pony...”
“Oh, I understand... you needed to be there... I'm sorry, Puppy... really...” The robot floated beside the little pony for a while before asking, “By the way, what was that you had to do?”
“I... I had to ask a falling star to find my mom... there were so much of them, they would find mom for sure... when you see a falling star and you make a wish it will come true for sure! But I forgot! Now I have to find mom myself again!... it's not fair...”
“You forgot to wish upon a star!? All this scene about a wish? I can't believe I-” The robot paused, noticing the crushed spirit of the filly and rapidly changed tack. “It's bad, but it's not that terrible, don't worry...” There was a long embarrassed pause, “Puppy, I had a friend that sometimes acted exactly as you are doing right now... she was a very smart pony, but she lost herself in a glass of water because of the most incredible details... sometimes it was really important, some other times it wasn't, but her way of panicking and acting impulsively worsened things a lot... panicking is not good for clever young fillies; you are a clever young filly, right?”
Puppy sighed and nodded, looking down.
“Perfect, this was what I wanted to hear; since you are a smart pony, I'm sure that you don't even need the help from a star to find your mom. I mean, look at you: you already arrived here without those useless stars, you can go wherever you want with your determination and your friends.”
The filly tilted her head a little, looking at the spritebot with a hopeful expression. “Really?”
“Yes Puppy, really. I think that if there is a pony that could really find your mother is not a magic pony living on a star or some sort of fairy pony with butterfly wings. That pony is you, Puppy. So, why you don't stop moping and show me some of your enthusiasm?”
Slowly, the frown on Puppy's muzzle turned to a faint smile and kept growing, until Watcher's words hit her little head and she understood them. “Yush! I'm Space Captain Andromeda! I am the best pony ever! I will find mom for sure! Who need a stoopid star anyway? Thank you Mister Questioner!” The filly hugged the spritebot, giggling. “I'm sure mom will be in Broccoli or in the town after Broccoli at worse! I'm almost there! YAY!”
The voice chuckled. “This is the spirit, Puppy! Now go and get 'em! Oh, and it's Watcher, my name is Watcher...”
“Sure Mister Questioner!”
“Not Questioner, Watcher!” insisted the spritebot.
Puppy sighed, trying to be patient. “Really, i don’t see you watching a lot, but for sure you make a lot of questions, so if you really want a name like that, it’s Questioner, no more complains.”
“But it's not my name!” protested the voice.
Puppy shrugged. “Now it is, live with it. Really, no other voice protested when I gave them names.”
“Aw, I give up... do as you want, stubborn little pony... I have to go, just try to stay out of troubles, okay?”
“I stay always out of troubles! I'm a good filly!”
Watcher chuckled one last time, before the voice was replaced by the usual patriotic music and the spritebot floated away.
Puppy watched at the robot disappearing behind a hilltop and sighed. “I can’t see why he doesn’t like the name I gave him... I mean, it’s so much better than the one he had before!”
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DAY 12 - TIME approximately 11:30 A.M. - LOCATION: Broccoli, Big 52 S Branch
The town of Broccoli was protected by a group of local guards and a couple of squads from the Hired Hooves; not a real army, since nopony was supposed to threaten the town. From the night before, the guards were now running double shifts keeping all their eyes pointed toward south; from what little news Lonesome Pony gave, the Wild Herd was on the war path and this time they had sticks, so it was vital that every pony who could use a weapon was always ready to get up, grab his rifle and defend the wall.
The mercenaries wore black gas masks and heavy armor, nothing special if compared to a steel ranger’s power armor, but for the Wasteland they were still equipped top notch. All of the Hired hooves sported anti materiel rifles or assault rifles, while the Broccoli militia was a little more lightly armed and way less armored.
A pair of militia ponies patrolling the northern fields noticed Puppy approaching along the road. One had already taken aim when the foal suddenly came to a halt and sat down, holding one hoof against the side of her helmet as if she were listening to something. The pair looked at one another in confusion.
“Attention. Incoming request of opening a communication bridge with structure Solaris Stable. Checking authorization. ID is valid. Opening communication.”
SolOS’ voice replaced that of the suit’s. “All these ID checks are annoying, they could prove to be a problem in case on an emergency, I suggest you to lower your security measures.”
Puppy sat down in the middle of the road, smiling. “Oh, it's you Blue Voice, how are you?” The filly waved a hoof at the approaching guards, who simply waved back and exchanged another confused glare.
“The plan is not going as predicted, D018, this is why I am calling you. I have some questions for you.” SolOS hadn't even bothered to say hello, but Puppy knew he was just a bit shy, so the filly let that thing slip.
“Questions? Guessing game! Yay! Ask me, I'm world champion of guessing game!” The filly clapped her hooves in joy, she loved to play.
One of the two guards levitated his rifle, readying the shot, but the other stopped him with a hoof. “Wait, I think this is that ghost from the radio; I don't think we are supposed to shoot her... besides, I'm curious.”
SolOS went on, “I have contacted the facilities at Solaris Tunnels 1 and 2, but in tunnel 2 I found some sort of Artificial Intelligence controlling the place. Since you once said something about being friend with other A.I. I wanted to know if you knew something about this one. Its designation code is P7.”
“Oh, Miss Voice! She is my very best voice friend! She is funny and friendly and she is the best funnybot ever!”
SolOS paused for a moment. “I take that as a yes. That program was not supposed to be installed in a military base, do you know why there is a P7 pony machine interface operating in Solaris Tunnel 2?”
“Sure! She was lonely at Salt Cube City, so I helped her move house, now she has a lotta new friends! Ah, do you want to be her friend too?”
The unicorn guard sighed, but his friend poked him with a hoof. “See? She's been in Salt Cube and at the Tunnel, she must be the Ghost. Wasn't she looking for her mother or something like that?”
The unicorn shrugged. “I don't care, look, if she is the pony you are talking about we should simply ignore her and keep our eyes open for some real threat.” The two ponies trotted away, taking a path that headed to the nearest farm.
In the meantime SolOS and Puppy continued to talk over the radio. “Actually, I want it to grant me access to the weapon storage, but that program cut me out from any administration rights and banned me from the local net.”
“So, ah... You wanted to be her friend but she didn't want?”
“No, I need to get access to the weapon storage. Are you even listening to what I say?”
Puppy giggled. “Silly Voice, you don't need to be shy! She is a super friendly Voice and I am sure that she wants to be your friend and you two will be best friend forever, because you are blue and she is pink and everypony knows that pink is the color of fillies and blue the color of colts and-” Puppy stopped, gasping.
“What now?” SolOS voice had grown annoyed; as usual talking with that crazy anomaly was an impossible feat.
“I know! You have fallen in love with her! Don't worry! I'm fixing that! I'm a super expert of love!”
“What? No! That's not what I meant at all! Talking with you is a complete waste of time! I'll find another way to get those weapons, get lost!” SolOS cut off the communication.
“D'aww! He's so shy!” Puppy finally turned toward the two guards. “Hi, I'm Puppysmiles! Have you seen my mo- hey where have they gone?” The guards had disappeared, leaving the foal on her own.
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DAY 12 - TIME approximately 12:00 - LOCATION: Broccoli, Big 52 S Branch
Puppy reached the walls of Broccoli still confused about being left alone like that; this had never happen to her before; well, except that one time in Sun City, but it was different; ponies there were weird. Oh well, it didn't matter, there were plenty of pretty ponies here, so it was going to be easy to find some help.
The foal found herself in front of a closed gate and sat down, looking up at the wall's crest; a pony with a gas mask was looking back at her. “Hi there! Can I get inside Puppy please? I'm looking for my mom! Ah... if I can't get in, can you tell her to come out?”
The masked pony ignored the filly and trotted away, patrolling the wall. “Hey, I'm talking with you, funny muzzle! Aw! HEY!” Nothing, these stoopid ponies had to be deaf and blind... what now? Puppy tried banging at the door, but patience wasn't exactly her virtue, so she decided to trot around the wall and see if there was another way in.
The wall was composed of a patchwork of metal carcasses, welded together to ensure that there were no gaps between them. Suddenly Puppy heard the sound of gunshots coming from the south, quickly followed by the shouting of guards as they rushed around the walls towards the noise. None of them paid any attention to the foal outside.
When the filly reached the other side of the town, she noticed that there were way more ponies on the walls; a lot of them were wearing those black masks and some others had helmets and crappy rifles. Sometimes a pony looked down at her, but when she tried to talk with them they simply turned away and resumed looking out into the distance just like their friends were doing. This was beginning to frustrate the foal. “Ah, Mister Voice, isn't there any secret passage to get inside?”
“Analyzing. Connecting to Equestria Cartography Onspark. Warning. Broccoli not found in the database. Switching to auto map mode. The town has two access points, one from north and one from south. Both accesses in this moment are inaccessible.”
Puppy sighed. “So, we are closed outside?”
“Affirmative. A rapid analysis of the external walls doesn't reveal the presence of any other entrance. Advised solution: asking to be let in and waiting for a positive answer.”
Puppy frowned. “Wut?”
“Knock at the door and wait.”
The foal smiled enthusiastically, finally understanding what the interface meant. “Oh, okie dokie! I can do that, I'm good at asking things!” The filly trotted merrily toward the southern door, only to be interrupted again by the suit.
“Attention. Incoming request of opening a communication bridge with structure Solaris Tunnel 2. Checking autho-”
The suit's voice was muted and replaced by P7's. “Aw, shut up you grumpy routine! Hi Puppy, how are you? I hope you're fine because it has been a while since our last chat and I was really worried that you forgot about me, so I was thinking that I should call you just to be sure you were alright... ah... are you alright?”
Puppy jumped on her hooves in excitement. “Miss Voice! I almost forgot to call you! I have a lot of things to tell you! Oh, oh! But wait! I have super duper extra news for you!”
“Really? Wow! I can't wait to hear it, but before I wanted to ask you why you activated the Ponymedes net. I mean, you said you didn't want ponies to get hurt and then-”
"You have a coltfriend!”
“And then you have a coltf- wait, I have a what? Why am I the last one that finds out these things!?”
Puppy nodded wisely. “Yup, but he's super shy and he say you were a little nasty with him...”
There was a short pause, while the A.I. Tried to elaborate the new information. “But I don't have a coltfriend! I don't even know anything about love!”
The foal frowned. “You don’t know anything about love? How’s that possible?”
“Well, you see, it seemed that love trashed the P5 project, since the AI decided that love was more important than, let’s see... survival of the planet, so she mixed up her priorities a bit and... well that’s a sad story, you don’t really want me to tell it. But now that I have a coltfriend it’s all different! What can I do? I don't even know him!”
Puppy giggled. “Silly voice, but he knows you! And don't worry, I am the best love expert ever!”
“Really!? Woah! I always always ALWAYS wanted to know about love! Can you teach me?”
The filly held up a hoof. “Yush! Doctor Puplove will teach you and you will be best lover ever!”
“YAY!” Now that the long dead foal and the party A.I. had a real topic to discuss, trivial things as the utter destruction of a pony settlement and unleashing a weapon of mass destruction rightfully slipped away from their attention.
“First lesson, the dangers of love: cooties!”
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DAY 12 - TIME approximately 12:30 P.M. - LOCATION: Broccoli, Big 52 S Branch
Two of the guards on the wall were looking down at the foal as she talked and giggled to herself, while their fellow sentries kept watch for any sign of another suspicious movement from south. One of then scratched his head and muttered, “We should at least tell her to go away...”
The second guard sighed, hitting his friend on the head. “Yeah, sure, are you going to tell her that? After we’ve seen what happened to the rangers at Ivory Tower? No thanks! You heard the radio, she is dangerous! Let’s wait until she gives up and moves away.”
“But, if she doesn’t go away? Then what? I think that somepony should go down there and shoo her.”
“Sure, great idea, and who’s going to tell her that? You?” The elder guard emphasized the concept by knocking his colleague on the head again.
“Hey, stop hitting me! Why don’t we send the mayor? We elected her for this kind of thing, after all!”
The veteran stopped his hoof a moment before hitting the other guard for a third time, and instead he tapped his chin. “You know? that’s not a bad idea... not bad at all...”
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DAY 12 - TIME approximately 12:45 P.M. - LOCATION: Broccoli, Big 52 S Branch
Half an hour of explanations later, P7 knew everything she needed to know about love, at least from Puppy's point of view.
“Alright, so, kisses are eeew but they are cool if they have explosions in the background or a fitting music?”
“Yep.” Puppy nodded with the expression of a pony who knows a lot of things.
“Still, I'm not sure I understood the part with making foals...”
“Eh, that's quite a difficult part; I'm almost sure that there are a mom and a dad involved... mom told me that you had to love dad very super much and it involved a letter to Pretty Princess Celestia, but the teacher at the kindergarten told me a story with cabbages and Pretty Princess Luna... my old school friend Green Sleeves told me it involved also a lot of rumbling and that it was super gross and that when she had caught her mom and dad on the couch they got super angry and her mom scolded her dad because he didn't lock the door and the day after she explained to Green Sleeves that they were giving her a little sister...” Puppy paused for a moment, trying to remember something else. “I think that sending a letter is better; it also explains why I can't have a foal of mine, since I can't write...”
“Alright, and what about poetry?”
“Oh, that's easy; to fall in love you look out of the window and then your real love will come out of a bush and sing you a song, or tell you some mighty beautiful poem and you will love him and all.”
“That doesn't sense very much...” objected the computer.
“Love doesn't make sense at all. Besides, I've seen it in a show called Colteo and Fillyet; it was boring as hay and boring things are always instructive, so it must be true.”
“Okie dokie! You are the expert here!” replied P7, now positively convinced. “So, what do I do now? Who is this lover of mine? I'm so excited, aren't you excited? When am I going to meet him?”
“Woah, hold your horses! He must do the first move! It's always the colt that goes to the filly, not the opposite!” Puppy sighed. “Really, were you listening before? I'll call him and tell that you don't like him at all, then-”
“Hey you there...” A voice called, but Puppy was far too busy with matters of the heart to pay attention.
“But I like him! I want to meet him, but you didn't tell me his name!” protested the A.I.
Puppy helmethoofed. “Of course I didn't tell you! He's a secret admirer! Do you want to spoil everything? Do you want to lose your true love forever?”
“Ah-hem... Excuse me!” The voice interrupted again but the foal waved a hoof at it, trying to get it to be quiet.
P7's voice panicked. “No, NO! I don't want to be alone for all of my existence! I'll do like you say Puppy I'm completely in your hooves! Please don't let me down!”
The filly nodded, satisfied. “Very well, stick to my master plan and you will be happy ever after.”
“Hey, stop ignoring me, little filly!” A hoof knocked on Puppy’s helmet forcing the foal into diverting her attention from Miss Voice’s love affairs to the annoying pony in front of her.
She was an earth pony mare with a helmet, a light combat saddle and a lever action rifle standing directly in front of Puppy, with an annoyed expression. “I’m the sheriff and the mayor of Broccoli, you can’t stay here; please go away.”
Puppy sighed. “Excuse me, Miss Voice, it seems that some ponies can't really wait their turn... I'll call you later.” The filly moved her attention toward the mare and her annoyed expression quickly changed to a broad friendly smile when she realized that the pony came from inside the wall. “Hi! I'm Puppysmiles! Have you seen my mom? I tried knocking at the door but nopony opened it for me and all those funny faces up on the wall must be completely deaf!”
The mare sighed, waving a hoof. “Wait, stop talking and listen! You can't come inside the town. There are raiders all around the place and you are not welcome here. I'm here to tell you to go away, we don't want you.”
Puppy kept smiling while she replied. “Silly pony, I can't go away! Mister Voice says that my mom is inside this place! I have to find her so that everything will be alright!” The little pony giggled.
“What the... are you stupid or what? You arrived from Ivory Tower and that place was completely destroyed just the other day, we aren’t a superstitious herd, but it seems quite obvious that you don’t bring good luck with you, so just live with it. You can't get in, now go away or we will shoot you down.”
“But I need to find my mother! Puppy please?” Puppy tried her best begging eyes, making the pony step back for a moment.
“A no is a no! Now go away or you will be killed. This is my last warning.”
The little filly sat on ground, looking at the mare while pouting. “B-b-but... my mom... please... please!” The foal began sobbing.
“No... please, don't cry! Aren't you supposed to be some sort of immortal hero?” The mare had been prepared to send away a big badass wasteland dweller, but a crying foal was not on her list. This little pony had no dignity at all; the mare looked up to the walls, begging for some help from the mercenaries, but all she got back were just shrugs. Damn, this filly saved their families, they won't shoot for sure... “Okay, okay! You win! Just... don't cry, alright? Stop crying! You can come inside and I'll accompany you through the town, so that you can look for your mother!”
The foal sniffed a little, muttering her reply. “You don't want to find my mom for real... you just want me to go away... why you don't want to be my friend, miss pretty pony?”
The mare snorted. “Don't make me change my mind! We will get inside but you have to follow some rules! No weapons, no stealing, no annoying the guards and the most important one: stop whining!”
Puppy smiled and trotted to the mare. “Okie dokie! I like you miss pretty pony! What's your name?”
The guard sighed and looked away. “Boiled Broccoli. Now behave and follow me.”
“Eww! I don't like broccoli! How can a pony have a broccoli cutie mark? It's terrible!” protested Puppy.
“Broccoli is all we have here, you better learn to like Broccoli because you won't get anything else for lunch, dinner, breakfast or a snack. Oh, and they aren't for free.”
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DAY 12 - TIME approximately 13:30 P.M. - LOCATION: Broccoli, Big 52 S Branch
The mayor of Broccoli stepped inside the town hall while talking with Puppy. “Alright kid, here we are: Rainy Days Hall. I'm not sure that it has something to do with your mother, but the town hall was here since the days of the war; it's name comes from all the writings on the walls. Take your time.” The mare took a look back at Puppy to see if the foal was listening, but her charge was instead engaged in conversation with her own helmet. Boiled Broccoli shook her head.
“So I told her that you were super shy and she seemed really interested; now you must write her a love poem.”
“You called me just because you want me to declare my love to another artificial intelligence? I have a lot of things to do, like keeping together a band of brainless cutthroats and you call me for such an idiocy? Please, tell me, did I do something wrong?”
Puppy stopped for a moment, pondering SolOS’ question before nodding. “Yup totally, but we can fix that and she doesn't really know that you were a bug and a stinker. Now, about that love poem...”
“I don't want to write love poems! Stop calling me!”
“D'aw! You're so sweet! Okie dokie, I'll help you with this one! Tell me, what do you like in Miss Voice?”
“Ah, she has a surprisingly powerful firewall and her routines seem to work better while she is multitasking... I also found that her anti-virus suite was well programmed and up-to-date and- wait, why am I playing your game? I'm out of here and STOP. CALLING. ME!” With these last words SolOS closed the communication, leaving Puppy alone with Broccoli's Town Hall.
The mayor sighed, looking at the foal. “So are you done? Want a cup of tea?” The sarcasm was evident in her voice, but using sarcasm against puppy was just like honking a horn to make a deaf pony move.
“Ah, no thanks, I can’t take off the helmet...” The filly stepped in the large room filled with lots of chairs and a large desk; on the entrance's left there was a line of windows looking outside, but all the other walls were covered with graffiti. Puppy couldn't remember being in this place before, so she hadn't the slightest idea of where to look.
“Ah, can I has some help, please?”
Boiled Broccoli sighed. “What now? Can't you even read?” The mare pointed at the walls. “It's all there!”
The foal looked away, a little embarrassed. “Ah, it's not that I can't read, but... well... I have problems with some letters and I'm not very good with long words...”
“Listen, I've read all this stuff like a hundred times, it says that one day a mare named Rainy Days arrived here from a military base in the north and founded the place; there were troubles and ponies were dying, so she wrote some important rules on these walls.” The pony pointed at a long list of written words placed just behind the big desk. “See? They're still there... anyhow, she had been the first mayor of this place as you can see on the mayor's list there, but after her there were at least five other Rainy Days... it's a pretty common name around these parts...”
Puppysmiles tilted her head, trying to understand what the mare was telling her, but everything she got from her fast synopsis could be summarized like this: “Wut?”
Boiled sighed. “Why me? Listen, we are in a situation of danger here; a big band of raiders is assaulting the city south of here and they could be hitting us very soon. I have no time to help you finding a two hundred years old mare! Please, go away and leave us be! There is nothing for you in this place! Honest!”
Puppy frowned; she didn't understand everything, but it seemed that her mom had been here and now was gone... again... if only this pretty pony could tell her where mom went this time it would have been awesome, but it seemed that she didn't want to help Puppy.
“Ah, if you help me, I'll give you this...” Puppy looked inside her bags, searching for something pretty to barter. “It's a barter, it's okay because everypony does that!” The filly found Fuzzy Ball, but she didn't want to give away her pet... no, it was better to keep Fuzzy hidden before somepony noticed her... there were many other things that she could offer, like some empty bottles of Sparkle-Cola, a bag of pretty caps, a brushabe Lyra... wait, what?
The foal gave a better look at the doll to be really sure, but it was impossible not to recognize that gorgeous coat and wonderful flowing mane. “Woah! He gave me the pretty green pony! Look!” Puppy showed the green plastic unicorn to Boiled Broccoli.
“What now?” The mare raised an eyebrow, confused.
“Mister Red Cape! He gave me his doll! She is so cute! I love her!” The filly hugged the doll in a burst of happiness. “This is the best toy ever! She still has all her mane in its place! and her tail too!”
The outburst of joy made the guard pony smile for a moment, but she immediately reverted to her scowl; foals were annoying, that was all. “Yes, so what? Are you trying to make me help you in exchange for a doll?”
Puppy froze on the spot, her joy disappearing in sudden realization. “You... you want her? B-but...” The foal looked at the mare, then a the doll and again at the mare, hesitating. This toy was really beautiful and it was so new, but Miss Broccoli wanted it in order to help Puppy finding mom...
Sacrifices, always sacrifices... why this stoopid place was taking from her every single nice thing she had? Not fair, not fair at all; but these were the rules and mom was somewhere out there. “Ah... if you help me finding mom...” Puppy hesitated before nodding, resigned. “Okay, I'm giving you the cute doll. But please, will you help me?” This was a hard blow, the doll was a present, but mom... no Puppy, don’t think about it; when you’ll find mom all of this will go away. Just one more town.
Boiled Broccoli cocked her head. What the fuck, is she holding back tears? Does she really believe that I want her doll? What am I doing, teasing foals and extorting toys? When did I become like this? The mare looked away, lowering her voice. “I... I might help you. I think that there is some sort of computer with a logbook; we can search together in the first entries to see if there's something regarding this Rainy Days... come with me.” The little pony inside the guard felt very, very ashamed of herself.
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DAY 12 - TIME approximately 14:15 P.M. - LOCATION: Broccoli, Big 52 S Branch
“Could you please speak a little lower? I'm trying to find some clues about your mother while you play Cirano de Puppysmiles!” Boiled Broccoli groaned, trying to ignore Puppy's chatting on the radio and put her hooves over her ears.
“Yush! He says he's super in love, he likes your... ah... stuff, and some other stuff of yours and he said something about a wall that burned; I didn't understand everything but he seemed so hot!”
P7's voice was dancing the pony pokey out of joy. “Yay! He likes me! I'm so happy I can't believe I don't even know who we’re talking about! You know, after that hacking attempt from the other day I was quite depressed; it seemed that anything out there existed with the sole purpose of bullying me, but now that I have a secret lover my life is pink!”
“Yep, I know I'm the best, no need to thank me... now, your next move is waiting until he confesses himself, then you refuse him.”
There was a long pause. “What? I think I heard you wrong. This is funny, it seemed to me that you told I had to refuse him.”
Puppy nodded wisely. “Pressis- precis... pree- ah... eyup! You must always refuse him the first time, so he feels bad and loves you even more! Remember the rules!”
“Oh, right, the rules! Okie dokie, let's do this by the book! I'll leave everything to your master plan then!”
Puppy smiled. “Don't worry, you won't regret this! Now I really have to go because miss Broccoli is trying to find my mom, I'll call you later and tell you what to do, okie dokie?”
“Okie dokie Loki! Later!”
The communication was interrupted while Puppy turned her attention toward the pony at the terminal. “Ah, did you find something miss pretty pony?”
“You mean, while you were giving sage advice about love to your friends? Yes, I found something.” The mare turned the computer screen towards Puppysmiles. “Is this your mother?”
The filly smiled happily. “Yes! Mom! Isn't she beautiful! My mom is the best mom ever!” It was a repertory photo, with the mare wearing her military technician suit and a helmet; the earth pony was slim and not very tall, Puppy shared the line of her muzzle and her eyes.
“Alright, here it says that she moved south, to Emerald Shores... doesn't say why, but it was almost two centuries ago... I don't think that-”
“Where is Emerald Shores?” Puppy Asked promptly.
“South, past Ironworks; you can't miss it because there's only ocean past Emerald Shores.”
Puppy's ears moved a little. “You said... That place is the last one along this stoopid road?”
“Yes, it's the last city along the Big 52, but you shouldn't call it-”
“YAY! I found mom! There's no other place where to go! Mom is in Emerald Shores!” The filly jumped all around the room, faster than a filly on a sugar bomb and Sparkle-Cola trip.
“Well, actually if you follow the coast there's the NCA and... you don't give a fuck, right? You aren't even listening anymore.” The filly was already out in the road and was running toward the walls; Boiled Broccoli sighed. “Oh well, at least I got rid of her...”
Trotting outside the town hall the mare was surprised to find Puppy waiting for her, especially after having seen her zooming away. “What now? Weren't you chasing your mom?”
The foal took the green unicorn doll from her bag and offered it to Boiled. “Ah, please love her and brush her. Her name is Lyra and she is a really really awesome friend...”
The guard refused the doll, sighing. “Keep that thing; I'm not stealing toys from the foals... just get out of my town as soon as possible and don't come back. We already have our load of troubles.”
Puppy hesitated a moment.
“But, if you want, I can take the doll anyway...”
That last line gave the filly the motivation she needed to move; the foal hid the brushable toy in her bag and zoomed away, leaving alone a snickering Boiled Broccoli. “'kaythankyoubai!”
“Goodbye, whiny ghost...” The mare sighed one last time, then raised her voice yelling at the ponies on the walls. “Let the foal go out and close the doors again! Organize for another night with double shifts! Make sure every farm lights a fire and keep your eyes open!”
Winds of war were blowing in the air, and that yellow pony was running straight into the storm... oh well, not Boiled's problem at all.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
DAY 12 - TIME approximately 17:00 P.M. - LOCATION: Broccoli Fields, Big 52 S Branch
“What do you want again?” SolOS' exasperation was palpable in his voice, but Puppy didn't care.
“Hi Mister Blue! I've talked with Pink and she is very, very interested in meeting you... she said she feels so lonely and wants new friends.”
“What the... wait, you convinced that Artificial Intelligence in Solaris Tunnel 2 to let me access its storage? Are you serious?”
While zooming through the last fields south of Broccoli, Puppy frowned. “I am always serious! Yes, she is waiting for you to sing her a serenade, so, make a super romantic song and go to her, so you will fall in love and you will be happy ever after!”
There was a long pause before SolOS spoke again, and when he did so, he was confused. “Ah... thank you? I was convinced this P7 was a friend of yours, can I ask you why you are backstabbing her like this? It doesn't seem rational... not that I expect anything rational from you anyway.”
“Backwhat? Listen, it's easy: you are a Voice, she is a Voice and both of you are very, very lonely. I'm mighty sure that when you will meet you will be super friends and since I am friend with both of you I want you to be friend with each other! That's all!”
Another long pause rolled away with the road before SolOS replied. “Friends, you say? We'll see... I could use a strategic ally, after all...” When the communication was cut, the radio replaced Mister Blue's voice.
Tonight I can't say it's a good night, my little ponies. Not earlier than half an hour ago, Ironworks launched a cry for help. The ponies in the fortified town are under siege, apparently attacked by an horde of well armed and organized raiders. If this is the Wild Herd, we have never seen them like this before; they have heavy weapons, combat robots and fight like an organized group. I have no idea of what's going on behind the scenes, Big 52, but if we don't react now, it could be too late, and to show that Lonesome Pony is not all talk and no meat, I'm flying to the front with my old rifle on my shoulders. DJ Good Stuff will take care of the radio in my absence, be kind with her and help her like you did with me. From L.P. That is all, have a last song.
Blessed bodies of the Heavens
sun and Moon of greatest light
bathe us in your warm embraces
shield us with your peerless light
help us to stand firm as mountains
doing right and shunning wrong
may we find our strength in friendship
unite our herd as one group strong
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Footnote: Level up! (14)
New perk added: Boisterous Incompetence - Yeah, don’t worry I know exactly what I’am d-BOOM! During dialogues or skill tests, if your skill is less than half the required score for succeeding in the feat, you get special dialogue options that have a 50% chance of success. Beware, if you fail this test, the results will be way worse than a usual failure.
This fanfiction is based on Fallout Equestria by Kkat; a familiarity with the source material may aid your understanding.
You can read Fallout Equestria by Kkat on Equestria Daily
http://www.equestriadaily.com/2011/04/story-fallout-equestria.html
If you enjoy Fallout Equestria Side Stories you will want to check the Fallout Equestria Side Stories post on Equestria Daily and the Fallout Equestria Side Stories thread on Ponychan
http://www.equestriadaily.com/2011/06/fallout-equestria-side-stories.html?commentPage=1
http://www.ponychan.net/chan/fic/res/58852.html
The Ponychan group is also a hatching ground that you can join if you want to share your experience, writing or comments with us.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1KaoFWVlFlMjYR2KmTWxwCYnvTZQcjEULO9YHSaqqk9U/edit?hl=en_US#
The equestria anthem lyrics are from this video
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZISo1NFO7AQ
Huge thanks to Easteu and Anonsamurai for helping me both with the language and the eternal struggle of keeping the story on its rails ^_^
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mimezinga i have to say your story makes me smile and laugh every time i read it
You've taken one of the bleakest fan-made worlds I've ever read about and made it absolutely adorable. HNNNNNNNGH
Once again sheer awesomness of your fanfic leaves me with my mouth open in amazement. Puppy logic just as awesome as Cave Johnsson's logic. Making two AI's fall in love! Exchanging toys for help! Shrugging off losses of hope and depression! And that awesome perk - I heartily lol'd imagining how she'll hack anything: ta-ta-ta, clickity-click... oopsie, I erased all data ^_^
It seems SoLOS and Pink-OS will become lovers)))
Yay! new chapter!! Great fanfic btw. I loved FOE and FOE-PH and this is a great addition
(also faiurel, last word of chapter 15 odd way of spelling it no?)
when this poped up i got a boner.
i thank your doing a great job.
when will you be back on a regular scegual?
and just wondering, maybe could you have the "blue voice" and P7 unite and actually work together while helping puppy smiles.
Success or failure, Boisterous Incompetence promises to be hilarious. I look forward to seeing it in action.
As always, hilarious and adorable, with that wonderful bittersweetness lying just under the surface for anyone who wants to see it. Looking forward to more.
The little filly sat on ground, looking at the mare while pouting. “B-b-but... my mom... please... please!” The foal began sobbing.
“No... please, don't cry! Aren't you supposed to be some sort of immortal hero?” The mare had been prepared to send away a big badass wasteland dweller, but a crying foal was not on her list. This little pony had no dignity at all; the mare looked up to the walls, begging for some help from the mercenaries, but all she got back were just shrugs. Damn, this filly saved their families, they won't shoot for sure... “Okay, okay! You win! Just... don't cry, alright? Stop crying! You can come inside and I'll accompany you through the town, so that you can look for your mother!”
BEST PART OF THE CHAPTER
another epic chapter and i cant wait for the next one. also OMG PUPPY SWEARS!!!
(the Romeo and Juliet part)
MAN! I can not wait for the next chapter!!!!
TOOOOOOOTALLY 
the story so far. If you still need an other editor I'd MORE then happy to lend my linguistic skills to your needs.
21271it happens after reading through every fallout fict i can find i hate to say it but the game play started to lose its luster
.......................
but then i installed some more mods and i was good as day.
YESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYES
This is going to go so wrong for Miss Voice...
Why do i think that the end boss will be a weird combination of Mr Blue and Miss Pink?
And puppy destroying them without knowing ,or stopping them and sealing them in her suit or something
Somepony already suggested that lonesome pony is puppysmile's mom.........
PLEASE LET LONESOME PONY BE PUPPYSMILE'S MOM!
a-hem.
Somehow sip thinks Lonesome Pony is actually Rainy days in some kind of immortal non damaged body... and gotta say.. feel bad for P7.. Sol OS will surely rape her in the worst possible ways the moment she lowers her guard..
Er, I've been thinking of Lonesome Pony as a colt this whole time. Did it say somewhere that LP was a mare and I missed it?
On the subject of Sunny Days, I'm kind'a hoping she's a ghoul and still around. She DID have radiation sickness, and then got over the cough despite not having any rad-away. But on the other hoof, since she loves to tell everypony she meets how super pretty her mom is, I can't imagine Puppy would react very rationally to her mom being an ugly, half-decomposed, walking talking corpse. Or that her mom would react very well to finding out that her beloved foal never made it into the Stable and is now an undead canterlot ghoul with a suit full of pink cloud fused to her flesh. Not to mention the malevolent entity living in her head, and her association with an A.I. hell bent on world domination (though I imagine Miss Voice is going to play some role in subverting that, probably completely and hilariously by accident).
In other words, I'm really looking forward to her actually finding her mom if she's still alive. That confrontation is going to be... either amazingly happy or heart-wrenchingly sad. Either way, I want it. Alot. :|
28171 or when she discovers that her mom actually died and snaps, going on a crazy hell bent creepypup slaughter spree using the pink cloud, to which she can only be snapped out of when henri and all her other friends (including all the AI) come to her rescue, and then she magically grows up a little bit or something. (what in the hell am i smoking?)
Oh... oh man. I just thought of a way that the reunion could go horribly bad if shes a ghoul.
Sunny Days: Is... Is it really you? Puppy Smiles? My Puppy Smiles! After all this time you've come back to me *insert emotional reunion dialog here* *hugs*
Puppy Smiles: AAAAAA! Ugly pony! Stay away from me! How do you know my name?!
Sunny Days: P..P.Puppy... its me! Your mother! Im your mother Sunny Days.
Puppy Smiles: Your not my mom ugly pony! My mom is the prettiest pony in the whole world!
And Puppy refuses to learn that ghoul Sunny Days is her mom and we watch Sunny Days get unintentionally tormented by her daughter turned abomination concerning her looks and not accepting her.That would change the emotional tone of this fic.
28301 you know i would imagine her mother would be more distraught from realizing her daughter did not make it to the stable, like she had hoped she did, and is now cursed with canterlotian ghoulism. but that is saying she is still alive.
28318 That'd be an interesting twist now wouldn't it? Personally I think a more heart warming solution would be to have the cryostasis from Project Horizons except having it work and having Puppy accidentally trip the release for her mother. Like that scene from LoZ Majora's mask where you get the gibdo mask by curing the father and his daughter runs in and tells him he was just having a bad dream.
I really hope blue and pink actually do fall in love
that would be hilarious 
Also it would be so sad for pink if they didn't and I don't really think that fits the tone of this fic.
I mean sure the setting is ridiculously sad but the story itself hasn't been that sad so far. A least not compared to for example PH and i like that
26649
thank you, i asked seth to add it to the gallery ^_^
27057
well, actually henrietta in chapter 14 says openly to puppy that she doesn't want to lose her, the griffon thinks of puppy as some sort of little sister
27095
thank you ^_^
27119
in this moment i'm more than occupied with a lot of things, i'm sorry ç_ç
27625
well, since shipping is canon in FoE i needed at least some shipping =P
27663
Thank you, fixed ^_^
27711
i'm sorry but the pace will slow down, i have a lot of things to do in real life in this moment ç_ç
27763
well, we are moving toward the grand finale, so i needed to put that perk into the story before it was too late ^_^
27991
at the moment i'm fine with the editing, i think, but if you drop by in the group of FoE side stories i'm almost sure that we will finf you something to fo ^_^
have a link
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1KaoFWVlFlMjYR2KmTWxwCYnvTZQcjEULO9YHSaqqk9U/edit?hl=en_US#
28119
so many possibilities and just 1 final ç_ç what to do, what to do!?
28126
he is a male, you know that, yes? and a pegasus, and he's not a ghoul... oh what the hell, okay he can be puppy's mom
28145
well SolOS has always showed some respect for life, at least in the meaning of not killing ponies but rather dominating tthem... problem is, P7 is not a pony...
28171
lonesome pony IS a male...
and i'm not giving spoilers about the ending, sorry
28213
eh, speculations about the ending... can't jump into this talk, sorry ^_^
28301
ah, sunny days was the name of celestia in sunny days all day long, a great fic that i deeply love, but puppy's mom is named rainy days =P
28318
well if rainy discovers that puppy didn't get into the vault she wil be a little pissed off... spanking incoming!
28341
again, not comemnting on finale's speculations
28357
well, puppy did her best to make it happen, now we will see if OolOS is a good boy or just wanted to get inside of P7 =P
what else? oh yes, i created a TUMBLR, Ask Puppysmiles... feel free to drop by and ask her questrions, i'll try to reply to everything, but i can't promise i'll do a drawing for every question, it depends on how many of them arrive IF they will arrive, sorry ç_ç
have a link
http://askpuppysmiles.tumblr.com/
Thank you for your attention and for all the feedback
Mimezinga
P.S. sorry if i missed some essages, they were really a lot this time ç_ç
Well guess I got shown up about Henrietta. To be fair though my concern is mainly that while it is Puppy's story, side characters and supporting characters don't seem to get a lot of back story into them. My issue is that it's harder for someone like me who dabbles in psychology to find motivation without a sufficient amount of familial history given in an explicit manner. In any case great story and sorry about the speculation on my part just realizing you tend to write optimistically so I'd really be shocked if there wasn't some way for Puppy and Rainy to be reunited with each other.
Who knew that the apocalypse could be so positively saccharine?
Honestly, Puppysmiles the matchmaker is making me crack up right now.
I'm comparing this to the concurrent updates of the other FO:E stories I'm following. Littlepip is in the hell of the Everfree, in Project Horizons, Blackjack decended into the depths of hell, and in No Heroes, Serenity is dying.
And then I come here and get hit full-on by Puppysmiles. Just when the wasteland couldn't get any worse, you come and make it all better.
28171
i thought it was rainy days
Alright...where to start... I must admit, I'm not too keen of a reviewer. My thoughts tend to get jumbled up and I can sometimes overlook or misinterpret things. Forgive me if I make such a mistake.
I honestly didn't know what to expect when I saw the cover image on Equestria Daily. My best guess was that this was going to be something involving the Canterlot "pink cloud" and be a bit of a comedy I suppose. Well, needless to say, that turned out to be pretty much correct. And yet...
I'll start with the characters, or in this case, the main character. Why? Why must you make Puppysmiles so cute, naive, innocent, oblivious, and adorable? Why must you make her the equivalent of an near-immortal, mobile biochemical weapon at the same time? It only makes her story all the more tragic as nopony can bear and break it to her that unless Rainy Days has somehow also been turned into something else as near-immortal as Puppysmiles (after all, the only evidence of her are recordings, ghouls who knew her [and ghouls are long-lived...], and names of buildings). Puppysmiles is just so lovable and tragic, I honestly just want to hug her. What she does fits her character so much, and it surprises me with how you manage to turn her into an accidental heroine (I was both left cracking up and gawking when she accidentally "pew-pew"-ed the Ivory Tower into orbital bombardment).
Atmosphere and imagery are important parts of any story, and yours is no exception. Normally, Fallout: Equestria side-stories/spin-offs are dark and depressing most of the time, but this one takes a decidedly much lighter turn. What makes things interesting is in how you build the world around Puppysmiles' interpretation of things. A tank shell as something to be used in a pretend tea party? You don't see that every day. But yet, there are moments when the tragedy that is Puppysmiles' new life becomes truly apparent, such as with the brothel mural of a memory so long ago.
I'm very curious to see where you take this story, Mime. No matter how much it hurts (from laughing too hard or from my heart breaking).
I'll be eagerly waiting for more.
Here's some more Henri and Puppysmiles art for ya, Henri/Puppysmiles I should be able to finish it up soon enough.
33831
Done
New Perk = 50% chance of exploding.
_ _
Derpy, out
oh god why pup? you need to be a smart filly, that solaris robot is bad news
~yay~ She wasn't in Broccoli! That's a bad name place thing! We don't want her mommy to be in such a horrible place! *Continues to the next chapter*
Nooo, don't persuade the naive AI to grant access to the crazy omnicidal AI!
Oh well, at least the weapons should be safely buried and out of reach.
Oh my god, I can only imagine Puppy's hacking to be on Wheatley's level.
"A-a-a...a-a...b!"
"I fixed it!"
This fanfiction is seriously like the lovechild of Portal, Fallout, and ponies.
25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m9en10uqX41qit8aco3_500.gif
I thought the previous chapter said that Puppy wasn't actually alive, but rather a huge conglomeration of bone fragments, flesh, and pink cloud. Where's she getting the tears needed for crying?
Huzzah! I finally found the Fallout Equestria: Heroes reference I've heard of! XD
"Well actually, if you follow the coast there's the NCA and...you don't give a fuck right?" Those NCA ponies...sneaky reference right there, hehe.
I started to read Heroes after this one, and when I spotted a Pink Eyes reference in it, I completely fangirled! "Strange reports from the Big 52 of what appears to be a pink ghost."
Like when yours mentioned Littlepip (duh, XD) and Blackjack from Project Horizons, "Ok she's not the Stable Dweller nor Security, but she's all we got down here."
Same goes for Heroes mentioning, "The last shipment we got from Hoofington was over a month ago, and not a single word on why it has been delayed" Blackjack is behind this! XD
I also remember in Project Horizons when Blackjack saw an animation that included "...a strange pink filly with a toy gun that somehow brought down beams of light from the sky." Gosh I LOVE Puppysmiles!
Here's another one in PH where there was a Murky Number Seven reference! "...in that nest of connections. 'Hugs for Murky'? What's a Murky?" XD
I've seen on FoE Wiki that there was a Heroes reference in PH, something about a trade route going from Riverside to Dise in chapter 49. Too lazy to find it though XD
Man, I love it when FoE stories mention others. That's one of the main reasons why I love Fallout Equestria :)
I know that it's only obvious side stories make references to Littlepip because she's from the original FoE, but I find it amazing how stories like PH and MN7 were able to also make it part of Littlepip's story in a way.
(Yeah, I do consider other side stories canon, only if it doesn't 'change' the original greatly. I don't mind authors adding new cities, secrets, or even include more background to the Ministries, princesses, etc. In fact I love it! )
PH was a big one with Littlepip and her crew, even AFTER the skies were cleared. In MN7, Murky was there when Littlepip escapes Fillydelphia at the Pit. So whenever I remember the scene when she is about to enter the Pit, I always make sure to imagine a small green buck in the back. :D
I love how those five FoE stories have some sort of connection with each other, makes me love the characters even more! Whew, pretty long comment if you ask me, since I almost never comment
5470315
Just curious what 5 were they, it's been killing me to understand all the references, even bought fallout 3/NV for the same reason
100% true.
3411110
In this chapter I imagined Puppy hooking Wheatley up with a smart Pinkie. Two AI geniouses that act/are morons.
Puppysmiles is ship master.
Awwwwww maaaaaan, why did you make such a cute character? hehehehe, she's so adoring.
Nice job, nice job.
6288435
Wheatley literally is a moron. The Intelligence Dampening Sphere.
Well we've got 7 chapters left,
One last location for "mom"
A love duo to unite,
And an apocyptic war over the horizon.
Yay~ lets bring it on!!!
SolOS actually explained what he liked about P7. Pffff hahahaha
Get ready for some new 'connection' ports PinkOS. 
Shipping artificial intelligence, brilliant! What could possibly go wrong? 
And the hunt for Rainy Days continues to the Emerald Shores. Least Boiled Broc didn't want to extort Lyra out of Puppy at the end. That would of been very mean and shameful.
I ship it.
7741736 lol who doesn't?
I keep noticing the penmanship declining the further I progress. I have no idea why the characters are starting to act really weird, ignoring the child one moment then fawning over her a heartbeat later.
From the previous chapter alone I was seriously disgruntled that Applejack's Rangers would shoot an unarmed civilian 4 times... And now the filly is being treated like dirt by everyone? Seriously, I don't see any logic behind this.
7937295 the community of broccoli is quite scared. they tried keeping her away because of the disaster of Ivory tower, that's all.