The frozen wastes of Stalliongrad teem with conflict and strife as pony, machine, and the wild battle ferociously for control. One unicorn, on a mission she did not ask for, makes her way into Tartarus itself.
Truthfully, I had planned on it being longer, but then it felt waaaaay too long. I realize I was pushing it with the chapters that there were, but I also felt it a necessary evil.
Faith and realist are definitely themes that I picked when I conjured up this story. It's something I with we had seen a little bit more of in the original Fallout: Equestra, beyond the more casual esteem that Littlepip and Velvet Remedy held for the Princesses. I always thought: "What if it was more?" and started to imagine. (I wish there was a more cat-face pony emote on this site...)
7153667 Reasonably soon, I hope. I mean, I tried to do the whole "scheduled updates" thing, but life just doesn't like to work out for me... plus writer's block likes to assail me with a cruel fervor.
But the one thing I will promise and keep is that I won't abandon my stories; especially Darkness Falls. I've had then story in my head for around two years, done Roleplays with these same characters that I've introduced so far and many more that will come in later chapters. What I can guarantee is that readers of this story are in for an epic ride! Stay tuned~
7172453 Yes!! Thank you for the wonderful comment and I'm glad that the early chapters of Stable 46 were able to accomplish what I was hoping they would; to have the intrusion and Clover's death to carry a heavy weight with the characters and the reader. Clover's death is definitely still going to have ripples, I can say for sure~
Don't have too much to say about this one, beside that you really have to be on the lookout for tense shifts.
Nitpicks: ". But what else am I supposed to do? I cannot go home in defeat. I cannot go back and see the depressed faces of the others, knowing that I had failed." This is in present tense and should properly be rewritten so it works in past tense. "He cannot be allowed to get away with his crimes." Present tense again "Though… if there is a lot of ponies like Bracket out there, this is going to be a lot harder than I thought." And some more present tense "How does anypony get around? This unbearable cold and this ground is murder on my hooves!" Present tense " It soothed my achy muscles yet caused discomfort because it has been nothing but cold since I left!" had "Goddesses I can see some of their brains!" Should be written in Italic to show thought. "The next second may very well be my last!" could
Will King Sombra be appearing in this story?
Good chapter, umm, not really sure what else to say here.
7144907 We'll just have to wait and see~
7145437 Any compliment helps, thank you~
7149740 Thanks for the feedback!
Truthfully, I had planned on it being longer, but then it felt waaaaay too long. I realize I was pushing it with the chapters that there were, but I also felt it a necessary evil.
Faith and realist are definitely themes that I picked when I conjured up this story. It's something I with we had seen a little bit more of in the original Fallout: Equestra, beyond the more casual esteem that Littlepip and Velvet Remedy held for the Princesses. I always thought: "What if it was more?" and started to imagine. (I wish there was a more cat-face pony emote on this site...)
7153667 Reasonably soon, I hope. I mean, I tried to do the whole "scheduled updates" thing, but life just doesn't like to work out for me... plus writer's block likes to assail me with a cruel fervor.
But the one thing I will promise and keep is that I won't abandon my stories; especially Darkness Falls. I've had then story in my head for around two years, done Roleplays with these same characters that I've introduced so far and many more that will come in later chapters. What I can guarantee is that readers of this story are in for an epic ride! Stay tuned~
7172453 Yes!! Thank you for the wonderful comment and I'm glad that the early chapters of Stable 46 were able to accomplish what I was hoping they would; to have the intrusion and Clover's death to carry a heavy weight with the characters and the reader. Clover's death is definitely still going to have ripples, I can say for sure~
Don't have too much to say about this one, beside that you really have to be on the lookout for tense shifts.
Nitpicks:
". But what else am I supposed to do? I cannot go home in defeat. I cannot go back and see the depressed faces of the others, knowing that I had failed." This is in present tense and should properly be rewritten so it works in past tense.
"He cannot be allowed to get away with his crimes." Present tense again
"Though… if there is a lot of ponies like Bracket out there, this is going to be a lot harder than I thought." And some more present tense
"How does anypony get around? This unbearable cold and this ground is murder on my hooves!" Present tense
" It soothed my achy muscles yet caused discomfort because it has been nothing but cold since I left!" had
"Goddesses I can see some of their brains!" Should be written in Italic to show thought.
"The next second may very well be my last!" could
9151336
Urgh... I'm the worst at my tenses.... T~T Bad Draft, bad! Whacks self with bat.