“Why not just give her one of yours?” asked Spike.
“I can’t.” began Twilight. “I...I only have one. Birth defect. If I give her one of mine, I’ll die. Either that or someone else has to give me one. It’d be easier for that pony to just give Fluttershy theirs.”
“Oh. That’s...sorry.”
“It’s not your fault. I just wish I could find someone to give Fluttershy a kidney. Rarity won’t do it because the blood will gross her out. Rainbow Dash won’t because she needs to work the clouds. Applejack has to work the farm, and Pinkie can’t stop working at Sugarcube Corner. This just won’t work. And it worries me.”
“What about any of the other ponies in town? Lyra? Bon-bon? Rose? Why not ask them?”
“I don’t know them well enough, Spike...You can’t just ask someone you barely know to give up their kidney.” she said, sighing heavily. “I just...I just don’t know what to do. There’s not a book in this library on the subject either. Why did this have to happen to her?” she continued, completely losing herself in her own little world. “She didn’t deserve this...she’s a good pony...if anything, I should have been the one gone.”
“Twilight, I’m still here, you know.”
“Oh, Spike...” she said, her voice trembling. She quickly pulled Spike in close for a tight hug. Spike, slightly hesitant at first, gave in and allowed her to squeeze his feeble frame. He felt her convulse. Then she started crying. Even with his thick scales, he could feel her tears, warm splashes of liquid. He’d never seen her cry before...she’d never hugged him either. He was seeing a brand new side of Twilight, one he thought he’d never see.
***
Trey sat silently to himself, writing furiously in a journal, trying to make sense of his feelings. He’d always been terrible with handling grief. When his grandfather died, he almost went insane for a little bit learning to deal with this new emotion. He’d never liked to think of the mortality of ponies, but now he was confronted with it. With someone he loved, no less. He’d been fighting back tears all day while talking to her. Now, she was asleep. Trey took this opportunity to document his emotions.
I love her. She’s the only pony I’ve ever loved on this level. Yes, I had someone in Canterlot, but she’s different. Flutterheart...she’s...she’s an angel. An angel in disguise. She’s the kindest soul I’ve ever met, and all the greatest qualities I’ve ever daydreamed about fillies. Soft skin, small hooves, a beautiful face...she’s patient with me...she’s more than I deserve. She means everything to me and it makes me sick to think that there’s nothing I can do to save her. My kidney won’t fit her. Day 2, and no offers have been made yet. Twilight wouldn’t give it up. She probably hasn’t mentioned it to the other 4 of her friends. It’s just so sad to think that the minute I find something great in my life, something that’s actually gone right, gone my way for once in my life, it’s just taken away as soon as it came. I wish that there was something I can do...I’ve never felt so weak and helpless in my life. So small and insignificant. I can’t do anything for the love of my life. We were going to grow old together...I know it’s still early, but I wanted to marry her. There’s so much more I need to learn about her. So much more I need to tell her about me. So much more...there’s so much more that needs to be done, but she’s stuck in a hospital bed. I’d give anything for another day of being hit with a Frisbee, another day to cuddle, help with chores, make breakfast...just one more day. I still have tomorrow, but it feels like this is it. I’ve given up. I can only pray for a miracle.
This is it.
Trey
Fluttershy stirred in her sleep, opening her eyes to Trey writing. He didn’t notice her, though, and he continued writing. Fluttershy watched him silently, as he let silent tears drip onto the journal he was writing in. Eventually he closed it, turning to face her. He looked slightly shocked when he noticed she was awake.
“Oh. I didn’t know you were awake.” he said, trying to turn his face away, wiping his tears quickly.
“Trey?” she asked solemnly, yet firmly.
“Yes, Flutterheart?”
“You don’t need to cry for me.”
Trey couldn’t help but look at her, finding her smiling at him, as if nothing was wrong. How could she be so optimistic?
“Flutterheart, I...”
“Shh...” she began, smiling. “I’m not worth crying over.”
“You’re worth everything to me, Fluttershy.” he said, firmly. “Don’t undervalue yourself. You’re the greatest thing that’s ever happened to me and it makes me sad and upset when you try to tell yourself you’re not worth that much.” he said, tears streaming down his eyes. “I don’t want to lose you, but it looks like I am. You’re the only pony I’ve ever felt like I could love, fully reveal myself to. I can actually be myself around you. I just...I love you too much to lose you.”
“Trey, you shouldn’t be crying because I’m not. I’m not worried, silly. You shouldn’t be either.”
“How can you be so optimistic? I don’t understand...”
“Trey, I firmly believe that if there’s a will, there’s a way. I love you more than anything. More than all of my animals combined. I know that you and I are meant to be together. Whether that happens in this life or the next, it’s going to happen. Besides, I can take solace in the fact that even if I die...” she said, smiling, grabbing his hoof. “...your face will be the last thing I see.”
Trey broke down crying at that statement. That was one of the most meaningful things he’d heard from her yet. He gathered his wits and spoke again.
“I tried giving my kidney...but they wouldn’t take it. This is one place where the thought doesn’t count.”
“You’ve given so much to me, Trey...I don’t need your kidney to feel loved. Simply you being here is what I need.” she said, closing her eyes. “All I need is you. Nothing more.”
Trey smiled at her. She was so full of wisdom Trey never knew she had. Trey gently, tenderly, and lovingly, kissed her. She smiled, nuzzling her pillow. She soon feel asleep as the sun set behind Trey, counting off to the last day she would spend on this earth.
GODDAMMIT SOMEPONY GIVE HER A KIDNEY!
.....wow......
damn the conflicting emotions
Love the idea of how strong Fluttershy is in this situation, really shows how strong she really is. This entire encounter also strengthens the overall relationship between the two, almost to a full on commitment, bu sadly we must endure the wait until some mysterious pony donates.
Oh the waiting, it kills us as much as it kills Trey. The plot developed, how you make us feel emotions!
i think twi is gonna giv it up..... not sure how but i firmly believe that is what will happen
Not enough crying emotes for the tears I am shedding! WHY?!?!?!?!?!?!?
Am I the only one who thinks that Applejack would slap someone upside the head for even suggesting that missing a couple days of work on the farm is too much to pay to save one of her best friends? Also, I'm pretty sure that Rarity (element of generosity, remember) would be able to cope with a little mess to save her friend's life... Pinkie and Dash, I mean, maybe they'd do that, but for a group of friends so tight that they embody friendship itself, it seems really shallow for them to be unable to take time off of work to save their friends life.
I'm all for suspension of disbelief, but... that's a hell of a lot of suspending to do.
WHY MUST IT BE THIS WAY!? WHY CAN'T SOMEONE JUST GIVE HER A KIDNEY!? Wait a minute... OH FUCK PLEASE DON' T LET THERE BE A DAY 4! PLEEEEAAAAASSSSEEEE!!!
......... Goddammit, give her a kidney NAO!!!
Trey you troll, you changed the story on purpose from seeing all of the people comment that Twilight would give the kidney!!!!!!!!!!!!!
YOU -------->
(Just kidding by the way )
Great chapter, but are they getting shorter?
......... Goddammit, give her a kidney NAO!!!
Trey you troll, you changed the story on purpose from seeing all of the people comment that Twilight would give the kidney!!!!!!!!!!!!!
YOU -------->
(Just kidding by the way )
Great chapter, but are they getting shorter?
THIS IS SO FUCKING SAD!
p.s. I like the way you structure your story
p.p.s. CONFOUND THESE CLIFFHANGERS, THEY LEAD ME TO DRINK!
23912 Crap, I swear I did not mean to double post!
23917 Yes, they're getting shorter. It's also symbolic of the time they spend together. Think of it this way: if you want something to last a long time, chances are, it's going to feel like it went by really fast. Likewise, Trey wants to hold on, but the days are getting shorter and shorter as he desperately tries to make the most of his time.
23958 i dont think ill be able to finish reading this if theirs only death at the end
Goes back to reading Fallout Equestria..........hay dont judge me
I swear, if you dont let her have a kidney, I will kill you lil.
Aaww... i dont want a death :((
24007 Keep reading.
I'm pretty sure the others wouldn't care about missing a bit of work. As for Rarity, surgury is usually extremely sterile, not to mention that they put the person out cold during the surgery. I'd assume the element of generosity wouldn't crae about a little blood if it means saving her best friend's life.
23885
gotta agree with you on that one buddy.
great reasoning with applejack and rarity, those were my thoughts
and Dash is the element of Loyalty. She may not always act with the best intentions, but when push comes to shove she'll be the first one at your side.
Pinkie's just ridiculous though...silly silly pinkie....
I get it with the working ponies-- I mean, the ones doing heavy work. Applejack and Rainbow Dash might have some problems. Rarity would go out cold, but the scars... still, this is the most likely match. Pinkie Pie is a wildcard, as usual.
Gut says that somepony is going to die here. Not impossible for two to die, actually.
Just a note: Your last chapter had comments about, "Read the next one, it's very short and deep." that I can take.
It seems a little condescending, though, when you have to tell us that a character is very profound, or very wise. If she is really that profound or wise, we should be able to tell, right?
I get it with the working ponies-- I mean, the ones doing heavy work. Applejack and Rainbow Dash might have some problems. Rarity would go out cold, but the scars... still, this is the most likely match. Pinkie Pie is a wildcard, as usual.
Gut says that somepony is going to die here. Not impossible for two to die, actually.
Just a note: Your last chapter had comments about, "Read the next one, it's very short and deep." that I can take.
It seems a little condescending, though, when you have to tell us that a character is very profound, or very wise. If she is really that profound or wise, we should be able to tell, right?
This is Elder SteelHooves of Applejacks rangers and this story is even making me cry Someone needs to give her a kidney now or I'm gonna start firing.....
I won't judge you
24220 I think he meant he started from chapter one. ....
24266 that's rich great name by the way
Also anyone know the price of a kidney in today's market
no matter what happens. there no happy endings here
TAKE MY KIDNEY! YOU CAN HAVE MY KIDNEY! DON'T LET FLUTTERHEART DIE!
I am a marathon reader and if i were to start reading now i know i would not stop, and i want to finish the book when i do. sorry to sound like a rarity but could you please finish the story? if it's alright... i will read if i must but i would like to get it finished in one sitting. sorry...
[img][IMG]http://i49.photobucket.com/albums/f257/KevinMartin997/Demotivators/1269998622918.jpg[/IMG]
[img]<a href="http://photobucket.com/images/manly%20tears" target="_blank"><img src="http://i49.photobucket.com/albums/f257/KevinMartin997/Demotivators/1269998622918.jpg" border="0" alt="Manly Tears Pictures, Images and Photos"/></a>[/img]
Manly tears will be shed before this week is done
guaranteed
Moar moar!
24234 When I said deep, I meant the chapter itself was full of meaning. I'm letting you deduce your own conclusions about characters. I just think the chapter itself was deep, a defining chapter in the midst of the newfound chaos.
What can I say... Simply BRILLIANT! Fabulous story expertly written. Enough said...
Well-deserved 5 stars from me.
24902 Nothing's for everypony. I wish you luck in finding a gooder story. I has the bestest grammer tho.
I sincerely hope to be reading more from you, being that you are an amazing writer with an actual feel for how your story will progress. I've been reading -chapter to chapter- since 5:00, and I have reached the end untill a new chapter is written, it is now 10:00. I have been seriously hooked to this story, and I must say it is absolutely amazing. As always, great work and I hope you keep it up.
third story I've read today, fluttershy died in the other two she better not die in this one!
Wait its incomplete. That means.. THERES STILL HOPE!
*phew* MY CELESTIA
TAKE MY F***IN KIDNEY, OR BOTH, JUST DONT DIEEEEE!!!!!
This is going to be a hard story to finish. Well done Trey, you've grabbed us by the balls.
Well, I could always have short little spin off stories once the mane story's finished. Course, I could also keep writing, though continuously adding to the story could potentially take away its value.
This is really hitting home... I was in the ER for six hours last night (golf cart flipped) and there was concern about my kidney. It was terrifying. But this is such a good story, thank you so much for writing it. (There were three other girls on the cart with me and we all survived, just some broken bones and minor concussions. didn't wanna scare leave that hanging)
26274
As you said, just adding to the story might get us more to read () but it might take away from the story overall. I think there's no need to lengthen the story if there's no more important stuff to tell or it's not easy to add more. I do think this story has a potential to go on in a different direction but that idea wouldn't work under it's current name anymore, as it would involve Flutterheart... umm... well not getting the kidney... though even thinking about it makes me a bit sad . Maybe as a spin-off in an alternate universe? This is of course assuming you aren't going to kill her in the mane story...
Speaking of which, how is Day 3 coming together? Are we there yet? I don't want to rush you as I know perfection takes time... Still, give her a kidney, NAO!
I'd also like to say thank you for the story so far! This is one of the best fics I've read so far, might be the best shipping fic. I don't see why pairing 'Shy or other Mane 6 members to OCs is considered bad or not appropriate for EqD. This story is so well done it is definitely better than some stuff that have been featured there.
Anyways, enough ranting for now. Once again, thanks for this and I hope to see more!
~JiiKoo
I don't want to be heartless, but...
Thestorywouldhavemorevalueandbemoretragicifsomeonedied. Feel free to hate. I deserve it.
26344
I just got back from a band trip in enemy territory. I'll begin work tomorrow. Definitely plan to have a the next thrilling installment by the weekend, if I don't get wisked away for more football. College is very demanding.
26446 That's alright! we will love you, ad toleRAGE - I mean, tolerate, your need to participate IRL.
Also, before I post this, comments were at: 337
Once I post, it'll be at: 338
Just 999 more to go!
Then we'll reach...
1337!!!!!!!!
what a !