I want my MUFFINS!

Source

A sunny day, where everything was fine. Rainbow Dash, stupid as she is, decided to take Derpy's secret muffin stash. Now, all of Equestria has to deal with Derpy's epic rage, and maybe a hidden power?

Chapters (3)

Good Day Muffins! · 24th Mar 2013 · 1,269 words
1,269
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Hunt for the Muffin Bandit · 25th Mar 2013 · 1,162 words
1,162
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Raisins? Or Chocalate Chips? · 25th Mar 2013 · 980 words
980
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Comments ( 11 )

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TDOH

TDOH #1 · Mar 24th, 2013 · · · Good Day Muffins! ·

lol, well played

PoniesAreBrilliant

PoniesAreBrilliant #2 · Mar 24th, 2013 · · · Good Day Muffins! ·

When I first saw this story I though I was in for a hilarious treat, but now that I've got through the first 2 sentences I can truly say that I'm rightfully confused. The idea for the story was really good "Rainbow steals muffins, Derpy goes insane. Hilarious", but no. This is a really funny idea, but with the way that it's written right now I can't get myself to read 50 words, much less 1,200. I suggest you read your story whilst saying everything out loud. It'll help you notice all the awkward wording, and confusing sentence structure.

That's about all I have to say. Good luck with the story!

DetectivePingles

DetectivePingles #3 · Mar 24th, 2013 · · · Good Day Muffins! ·

Needs a proofreader. Hey, I'M a proofreader! I'd like to offer you my services good sir!

xXQw3rtyXx

xXQw3rtyXx #4 · Mar 25th, 2013 · · · Hunt for the Muffin Bandit ·

2311629
Now all I need is a cover artist.

xXQw3rtyXx

xXQw3rtyXx #5 · Mar 25th, 2013 · 1 · · Hunt for the Muffin Bandit ·

2311622 Very, very true. I am working on correcting this, whilst I also have a new proofreader. :D

PoniesAreBrilliant

PoniesAreBrilliant #6 · Mar 26th, 2013 · · · Raisins? Or Chocalate Chips? ·

2315076 Great, really glad you didn't just give up on it. It's a great idea and I can't wait to see it prosper! Send me a message when you finish the re-write, I'd still like to read this story.

xXQw3rtyXx