• Member Since 25th Jan, 2013
  • offline last seen Mar 16th, 2023

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Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

E
Source

A sunny day, where everything was fine. Rainbow Dash, stupid as she is, decided to take Derpy's secret muffin stash. Now, all of Equestria has to deal with Derpy's epic rage, and maybe a hidden power?

Chapters (3)
Comments ( 11 )

lol, well played :moustache:

When I first saw this story I though I was in for a hilarious treat, but now that I've got through the first 2 sentences I can truly say that I'm rightfully confused. The idea for the story was really good "Rainbow steals muffins, Derpy goes insane. Hilarious", but no. This is a really funny idea, but with the way that it's written right now I can't get myself to read 50 words, much less 1,200. I suggest you read your story whilst saying everything out loud. It'll help you notice all the awkward wording, and confusing sentence structure.

That's about all I have to say. Good luck with the story! :pinkiesmile:

Needs a proofreader. Hey, I'M a proofreader! I'd like to offer you my services good sir!

2311629
Now all I need is a cover artist.

2311622 Very, very true. I am working on correcting this, whilst I also have a new proofreader. :D

2315076 Great, really glad you didn't just give up on it. It's a great idea and I can't wait to see it prosper! Send me a message when you finish the re-write, I'd still like to read this story. :pinkiesmile:

2324053 Sorry about that, my brain messes up that word up sometimes. :twilightsheepish:

2324059
My brain messes up the words:
Apple-Pear
Stand-Sit
Fun-Boring
Chair-Table
Face-Foot
Earth-Mars
Derpy-Ditzy
Facepalm-TROLL

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