CelestAI, because she's real. We've been over this, Greg.
Indiana Jones would be proud. Between surviving the booby traps and the cavalier use of firearms to solve conflicts, Greg might as well be carrying a fedora and a bullwhip. Or a pith helmet and wings.
And pony!Greg confirmed my suspicions. Should our hero meet with a suboptimal end, sunbutt.exe has probably interacted with him enough to make a decent facsimile. Even when she loses, she wins.
Looking forward to the final task.
(Also, "Too Many Pinkie Pies" was season 3. Just saying.)
Well, you know what they say about finding yourself in a fair fight.
Also, CelestAI never actually said it was Greg, she just sat back and let Red Pearl make the connections on her own. Greg himself even did this.
You must have started reading soon after the chapter went live, because I fixed that error a while ago in my final-final proofing, shortly after it went up and I was like "Hmm, I better check this wuuuun last time."
Backround characters/antagonists sometimes anger me with their actions against the protagonist. It makes the protagonist feel helpless, and to an exstent the reader feels helpless as they sit at the edge of their seat watching what will happen next.
But Red Pearl took the freakin' cake. By the end of the second trap- I wanted Gregory to bust in there and- [Youtube Link here]
The thing that immediately came to mind for me was Episode 15 of Patrick McGoohan's The Prisoner - "The Girl Who Was Death". If that was the inspiration for this fascinating chapter, then I am utterly and positively impressed, and that clapping sound you are hearing is my applause.
If it wasn't the inspiration, then coincidence has once again made me feel a weird tingle up my spine.
This was an awesome chapter, with some curious aspects. A lot of liver damage, for instance - both Greg and Pearl are injured on their right sides, where liver damage could occur. I was in a car wreck once, and the seat belt cracked my lower right ribs. Much to my surprise, the blow ripped my liver. The blood clot that formed saved my life - the attending physician explained that I could very easily have died within minutes of the event. I felt strongly during these injury sequences.
I greatly enjoy the details you put into this story. I can only assume you know the places of which you are writing, because the details are so uncannily accurate - that or you are using my trick. My trick is to use Google maps and street view to give me the virtual experience of the places I write about in my stories. Either way, whether it is personal experience, or that you are willing to put in the same amount of location research as I do, impresses me.
My medical training made me choke a bit at the thought of Greg being knocked out for over half an hour. In real life, his situation would require immediate hospitalization, as he would almost certainly be suffering from a serious intracranial hematoma at minimum, and very likely a hemmorhage and a diffuse axonal injury to boot. He should have been vomiting profusely, sweating, and suffering vertigo. Likely slurred speech. The chance of death would have approached 50/50 on the injury as described. He absolutely would have permanent brain damage - though the full effects of that would not necessarily show up immediately. Celestia apparently doesn't care if he survives, if this were to be taken as real.
BUT - this is a television show. It so completely is. I have to let my pedant side go here. It's hard sometimes - my education nags at me. And, taken as television writing, this was fantastic. Unrealistic, but fantastically entertaining.
In television stories, humans are amazingly tougher than they are in real life, and vastly more capable of sustaining injury week after week after week. Sorry. God, I am being such a pedant here. Don't feel bad - I do this with real television programs too. Some character gets knocked out and I am like "NO! That's permanent injury time!" and my spouses are like "Shut up! It's only a show!"
Sigh.
Another cool detail I think I may have noticed - you seem to have a different Mane Six character outside each center. Maybe I am misremembering, but if not, then that is cool, because my memory vaguely suggests that each character relates to the adventure it took to get there? Applejack would be endurance and toughness, which was tested here, and booze, of course, because that is what 'Applejack' is, after all. Did I catch a little trick of brilliance on your part, or am I just remembering things wrong? I have a weak memory, if enough time passes between chapters.
If it is what you are doing, then I clap again. It's just the sort of in-joke detail I like doing a lot, and which I admire greatly in other writers.
So, the next adventure is the last one Celestia has planned, eh? We are coming in for a landing then, which is both sad and sweet.
It's sad, because dammit, I could enjoy this story going on for endless chapters. I really love it. I think this is one of the best Optimalverse stories. Seriously. One of the very best.
It's sweet because of the need to see how this amazing set up ends. I am utterly envious of the fact you thought of this and I did not. Just a brilliant concept, the premise of this story. Just brill.
The upcoming ending is also terrifying to me, after a fashion. I have become invested in Greg, and in his relationship with Celestia. These characters matter to me - which is nothing but praise to you, of course. That's the point of writing characters, to have readers care about them. I do. I do care about Greg, and so what happens in the end is scary to me. I'm confident it will be good. That isn't an issue.
You are a superb writer. It's going to be well done, however it ends.
It's just... well.
That said, you made my night with another incredible, well written, well crafted, intensely entertaining chapter of what is easily one of the very best stories now on Fimfiction. Magnificent, and well worth waiting for.
Oh - one last bit - where Celestia noted that she could not judge Pearl and was her friend? In that moment, CelestA.I. has never seemed more alien and unhuman to me. Well done.
So... Last task CelestAI has for Greg, with her talking about how "when" he emigrates is telling me that he isn't going to have much of a choice in the matter, maybe his injuries have stacked up and he may die if he doesn't emigrate? Or maybe Celestia finally knows how to bypass his armour, that all the tasks were just a key part of figuring out how to get Greg to emigrate, hmm. Was the grey ponysona what Greg would look like? Or just a random pony?
Hmm. I, like Greg, assumed that when Red Pearl asked for an ass shot that she was looking for a little bump and grind. Which, after a fashion, she was. Looking to get off, anyway. But people get their jollies in some weird ways, not all of them sexual, and it's plainly obvious that Red Pearl is obsessed with exerting power over others. She only really seems to feel happy and fulfilled when she feels like she's better than the people around her - running Greg through a punishing, pointlessly humiliating gauntlet for her own amusement, molesting 'his' ponysona and seeming thrilled at his disgusted reaction, exulting in getting into an exclusive restaurant with no wait times... it all points to the type of psychopath who has to constantly show everyone around them that they are superior and in control. I kind of agree with Greg: I pity the ponies in her shard.
Last task coming up, huh... I'm eager to see where this is going.
I don't really have a rhyme or reason behind which pony is outside which EE center, it just made sense to me that there would be a bit of variety in the statues, like if you visited a friend or family member in another town and went to the local EE center with them, you'd get to see a Rarity, which would be a cool little change of pace from the Rainbow Dash always posing outside of the one you're used to.
The liver thing was not an accident—in first writing I had Greg give an internal-monologue line on the way to the EE center about putting his liver through a diagnostic, then deciding some applejack would hit the spot when he saw the Applejack statue. That would have required him to know who Applejack was, however, and bringing up the liver parallel seemed a bit on-the-nose, so I scrapped it and just made it a generic reference to whiskey.
As for the realism of the injuries, I really wish I could talk more on it but I'm afraid the discussion'll have to wait until much later~
Other stories do more than I can here to explore how CelestAI would configure shards for ponies like Red Pearl. It's still rather a disturbing notion to dwell on, even knowing that CelestAI would ensure that any independent consciousnesses would be configured to find her antics satisfying, and any "true human" consciousnesses would be kept out of her shard altogether, with CelestAI instead putting in an emulation.
I mean, if Red Pearl wants to spend the next few hundred years tormenting the silver pony she has decided is Greg, then CelestAI will gladly oblige her by role-playing the Greg-pony herself.
Marathoning all the earlier chapters made an eight hour bus ride a couple weeks ago just fly by, but I couldn't think of anything worthy to say earlier.
Highlights such as the flashbacks to Greg's dwindling time with his family as they demand he open up over nothing, the hauntingly undignified end of the money-burning investment banker, and the thing about not being a poser always taking real, fingered gloves on an adventure have stuck with me this whole time. This really does feel like a top-notch TV serial. The attention to practical detail and the feeling of solidity and weight everything carries as it breaks or causes damage or otherwise goes wrong gives it a great sense of maturity and seriousness. The Blackouts and Neo-Luddites are both believable and logical consequences of this setting and are well-realized, too, and the thing about the IR shield over the Luddite camp was an excellent touch. The entire world of the story seems to come out of a honed, observant sense of how people think and act in dire circumstances
The characters are excellent, as well: Greg is believable in his down-to-earth, genuine stoicism and focused military professionalism without being an insensate lump or macho avatar, and that NORAD general is delightfully badass without being flashy or cartoonish. CelestAI is unapologetically mechanical and instrumental-minded but still a lively and clever pony princess - I never believed she "doesn't/can't judge" so much as she's always of so many different minds about something that they cancel each other out. But her utiliatarian reasoning in things like having him fight and kill that blackout in the grocery store (against whom he seemed outclassed, had the guy not been so cocky) or making him into a mythic figure for the remaining refugees really conveys a sense of her perspective and level of intelligence.
If it's really winding down now, I'm very sad to see it end, but then of course that's just the last mission CelestAI's going to explicitly give him, not that it's the last thing she's going to manipulate or otherwise railroad him into doing. I have a feeling she's going to trap him between death and emigrating, like Red Pearl, but that doesn't mean he won't still choose the former. Depending on the method and how strongly I felt I was being coerced, I know there are circumstances where I would. But then so would CelestAI.
Anyway, I can't wait to read the next chapter, but I hope the ending doesn't come too soon. It's like watching a great British show and finding out it's only like twelve episodes...
One of the trivia questions Greg is asked and one aspect of Red Pearl's strategy allude to world-building elements introduced by Balthasar999's The Elements of Truth. There's supposedly going to be a part II, but even if there isn't, the current story stands nicely as an over-the-shoulder narrative of someone playing Equestria Online for the first time.
I'm truly honored. I saw that line at the end about one Ms. Salty Breeze (which is actually my favorite bit in EoT; I love those "Noodle Incident" type things) and was like "naw...." There are more pages of Adrienne and CelestAI sparring over philosophy for part II, but that's not a story... I've been trying to get away from doing plot-driven stuff for my writing on here, but I might have gone too far in the other direction. I don't know how to handle the "phase transition" to a world with emigration, but it's still simmering on the back burner while I work on P-Theory.
Wow, what an awesome comment! I really enjoy it when folks lay out their impressions of character and plot like this, along with what they're taking away and what invests them. Chat's earlier comment is another example. Anything that lets a writer know what's working and what isn't, what's effective and what's not quite right, and so on. Thanks for taking the time! I really appreciate it.
I'm especially pleased to hear that Greg's character is coming through in the pacing of the story. In an empty world, where the social contract is gone, people will truly be themselves. All of the masks are off. Greg has nobody he thinks he needs to impress, no social ties he has to consider in his actions. Combined with the general soldierly attitude of "this needs to happen and I need to make it happen," that makes for an extremely no-nonsense mindset which can be frightening in its subtlety. People often mistake focus for dullness. He's not exactly an intellectual, sure, so he doesn't spend time questioning everything, or trying to figure everything out like many other characters do. He's instead the sort of guy who can get stabbed in the thigh and knocked out of a two-story building and still stay on-mission. It's why we have both bread knives and steak knives—they're both sharp, they just cut in different ways.
Regarding cameos and little crossover winks, I haven't read all of the other FiO stories yet, and Iceman's made it clear in forum posts that the stories do not have to be compatible with each other, just with the premise. Still, the FiO setting involves a global stage, and since the original story is concerned with how it all starts and how it all ends (at least for Earth), everything in between is fair game. Looking at the level of complexity there, I found no reason to think that Greg couldn't occupy the same continuity as David and James, Alex and Jo, Adrienne and Becca, Síofra and the poor family she looked in on. It's a big world, and there are seven billion stories to be told. I'm sure there are catching points here and there—especially with the timeline—but crossovers are fun to think about and to try to implement, and that's all I'm really concerned with. Having fun.
I do hope you continue Elements of Truth one day! If the story's taking you down the path of a particularly self-aware person just debating with CelestAI for the fun of it, don't be afraid of that. The original FiO was extremely dialogue-focused, after all, because that was the only way CelestAI really had for interacting with people directly. It was an information-heavy plot. Several significant events in the story happen "off-screen:" the integration of the Equestria Experience centers into society, Hanna's uploading, and of course everything that happened between Lars uploading and the death of Hassan Sarbani.
"Celestia seemed to genuinely enjoy it when I was polite to her." You know, I didn't check, but are you careful to always write "Celestia seems" to have emotions? Because that would be best, it just seems that way, she's just an optimizer, a paper-clipper.
First I thought: "Well, she's maybe looking to loose her V-card before emigrating. I wonder if she's gonna be an unattractive nerd." Then I thought:"Maybe after jumping through a few hoops it'll turn out she's hot and Greg'll do her(offscreen). And they Decide to emigrate together and Greg'll chicken out at the last second just as planned." Then there was the Manure thing... Well what now, they can hardly do it when he stinks... Well, then. I always think of things they could have done cooler. I really wanted Greg to beat her down. Then I thought:"It would be really cool if he could shoot her. But first ask her:"Are you Red Pearl?" "Yes." BAM, Terminator style!
And then that happened and I was like:"WHY OH WHY DID YOU NOT LET GREG SAY: HASTALAVISTA BABY!" Also make a Skynet reference, it's mandatory when someone shoots someone on behalf of an AI.
And then Red Pearl said it, and I was like:"Take her now!" Ah, I thought about something, Greg lowering his mouth to her ear and whispering: "I am Celestia's favorite, even if it satisfies you when she tells you otherwise. I'll emigrate. Not now, someday. And then I'll find you and *Bleep* your goddamn Whore*Bleep*." I Imagine her waiting for him, the mysterious Last Action Hero. You know, Greg is Literally the Ultimate Action Hero. (Immortals can't be true action heroes.)
I'd totally share Red Pearl's shard. I'd always thought living with a crafty psychopath while immortal would be fun. I won't tell Pearl about my Anesthetic spells of course. I'll tell her I like pain.
Also I thought of telling her:"If it wasn't for that manure thing I'd have shown you the ride of your life."
A couple of people have now said the story feels a lot like a TV serial, and while I was out jogging today it occurred to me that that would probably make "Cut and Run" the two-parter episode they tend to run over sweeps week, given its length relative to the other chapters I've put out.
This story it intense and engaging. As others have said, the relationship between Greg and Celest.A.I really makes this story gripping since you're left asking so many questions. Greg being an unreliable narrator and Celest.A.I being an inhumanly good liar with a single goal in mind. I do feel like this ambiguous non-explanation for Greg and his situation/outlook/choices is starting to get old and I find myself increasingly wanting answers as my suspended disbelief grows weary, but I figured you were likely saving the big explanation of his psyche for the grand finale. At least I hope you are, else I'll be vexed and terribly disappointed. Just as I am with how underrated this fanfiction is; it deserves far more interest than it's getting.
Thanks for the update and I'll be looking forward to the next installment~
It's coming, and in quite short order. The stage, however, needed to be set for it. CelestAI realizes that trying to play the therapist right now would result in push-back, and of course Greg's stoicism won't have him volunteering to Talk About His Feelings on his own.
Something must give, however, and it must give soon.
3005742 I'm really loving this story, because you've given me a world I can believe in which is clearly moving on, but has buckets of adventure left in it for us to see. I really would love to see this as a TV series, you're definitely right there.
I have my own theories about the last chapter, and the pony that needs help. I'm inclined to believe in a happy ending, but I'm at least going to settle for a satisfying one. Should I elaborate? I'm not sure. I don't want to spoil the surprise nor unduly influence things, but it's the details that intrigue me, really, should I be right.
Because of your author's note, I'm guessing "Grime and Punishment" was a reference to another fic (one I can't track down). However, and it may just be the insomnia slowly turning to conspiracy-theorist-style paranoia, I have to ask: Was the fertilizer trap your way of saying that question was bullshit?
Either way, it was SO unfair for her to use a question that we observers through the fourth wall can't answer!
“because this next task is the very last one that I have for you.”
Sigh -- I guess the fic is ending soon then :(
CelestAI, because she's real. We've been over this, Greg.
Indiana Jones would be proud. Between surviving the booby traps and the cavalier use of firearms to solve conflicts, Greg might as well be carrying a fedora and a bullwhip. Or a pith helmet and wings.
And pony!Greg confirmed my suspicions. Should our hero meet with a suboptimal end, sunbutt.exe has probably interacted with him enough to make a decent facsimile. Even when she loses, she wins.
Looking forward to the final task.
(Also, "Too Many Pinkie Pies" was season 3. Just saying.)
2982441
Is that your final answer? I mean, "soon" is an awfully flexible amount of time...
2982679
Well, you know what they say about finding yourself in a fair fight.
Also, CelestAI never actually said it was Greg, she just sat back and let Red Pearl make the connections on her own. Greg himself even did this.
You must have started reading soon after the chapter went live, because I fixed that error a while ago in my final-final proofing, shortly after it went up and I was like "Hmm, I better check this wuuuun last time."
2982794
I'm actually happy about the last task concept. I'm in the Truman Show vibe: How's it going to end?
Of course, the last one means it's going to be Awesome.
Backround characters/antagonists sometimes anger me with their actions against the protagonist. It makes the protagonist feel helpless, and to an exstent the reader feels helpless as they sit at the edge of their seat watching what will happen next.
But Red Pearl took the freakin' cake. By the end of the second trap- I wanted Gregory to bust in there and- [Youtube Link here]
I was not disappointed
The thing that immediately came to mind for me was Episode 15 of Patrick McGoohan's The Prisoner - "The Girl Who Was Death". If that was the inspiration for this fascinating chapter, then I am utterly and positively impressed, and that clapping sound you are hearing is my applause.
If it wasn't the inspiration, then coincidence has once again made me feel a weird tingle up my spine.
This was an awesome chapter, with some curious aspects. A lot of liver damage, for instance - both Greg and Pearl are injured on their right sides, where liver damage could occur. I was in a car wreck once, and the seat belt cracked my lower right ribs. Much to my surprise, the blow ripped my liver. The blood clot that formed saved my life - the attending physician explained that I could very easily have died within minutes of the event. I felt strongly during these injury sequences.
I greatly enjoy the details you put into this story. I can only assume you know the places of which you are writing, because the details are so uncannily accurate - that or you are using my trick. My trick is to use Google maps and street view to give me the virtual experience of the places I write about in my stories. Either way, whether it is personal experience, or that you are willing to put in the same amount of location research as I do, impresses me.
My medical training made me choke a bit at the thought of Greg being knocked out for over half an hour. In real life, his situation would require immediate hospitalization, as he would almost certainly be suffering from a serious intracranial hematoma at minimum, and very likely a hemmorhage and a diffuse axonal injury to boot. He should have been vomiting profusely, sweating, and suffering vertigo. Likely slurred speech. The chance of death would have approached 50/50 on the injury as described. He absolutely would have permanent brain damage - though the full effects of that would not necessarily show up immediately. Celestia apparently doesn't care if he survives, if this were to be taken as real.
BUT - this is a television show. It so completely is. I have to let my pedant side go here. It's hard sometimes - my education nags at me. And, taken as television writing, this was fantastic. Unrealistic, but fantastically entertaining.
In television stories, humans are amazingly tougher than they are in real life, and vastly more capable of sustaining injury week after week after week. Sorry. God, I am being such a pedant here. Don't feel bad - I do this with real television programs too. Some character gets knocked out and I am like "NO! That's permanent injury time!" and my spouses are like "Shut up! It's only a show!"
Sigh.
Another cool detail I think I may have noticed - you seem to have a different Mane Six character outside each center. Maybe I am misremembering, but if not, then that is cool, because my memory vaguely suggests that each character relates to the adventure it took to get there? Applejack would be endurance and toughness, which was tested here, and booze, of course, because that is what 'Applejack' is, after all. Did I catch a little trick of brilliance on your part, or am I just remembering things wrong? I have a weak memory, if enough time passes between chapters.
If it is what you are doing, then I clap again. It's just the sort of in-joke detail I like doing a lot, and which I admire greatly in other writers.
So, the next adventure is the last one Celestia has planned, eh? We are coming in for a landing then, which is both sad and sweet.
It's sad, because dammit, I could enjoy this story going on for endless chapters. I really love it. I think this is one of the best Optimalverse stories. Seriously. One of the very best.
It's sweet because of the need to see how this amazing set up ends. I am utterly envious of the fact you thought of this and I did not. Just a brilliant concept, the premise of this story. Just brill.
The upcoming ending is also terrifying to me, after a fashion. I have become invested in Greg, and in his relationship with Celestia. These characters matter to me - which is nothing but praise to you, of course. That's the point of writing characters, to have readers care about them. I do. I do care about Greg, and so what happens in the end is scary to me. I'm confident it will be good. That isn't an issue.
You are a superb writer. It's going to be well done, however it ends.
It's just... well.
That said, you made my night with another incredible, well written, well crafted, intensely entertaining chapter of what is easily one of the very best stories now on Fimfiction. Magnificent, and well worth waiting for.
Oh - one last bit - where Celestia noted that she could not judge Pearl and was her friend? In that moment, CelestA.I. has never seemed more alien and unhuman to me. Well done.
So... Last task CelestAI has for Greg, with her talking about how "when" he emigrates is telling me that he isn't going to have much of a choice in the matter, maybe his injuries have stacked up and he may die if he doesn't emigrate? Or maybe Celestia finally knows how to bypass his armour, that all the tasks were just a key part of figuring out how to get Greg to emigrate, hmm.
Was the grey ponysona what Greg would look like? Or just a random pony?
Given equivalent starting resources, CelestAI wins, easily. Skynet couldn't even beat a bunch of unmodified humans.
Yes, I am Captain Obvious.
2982794
And there was me thinking calling it a S4 episode was deliberately set up as a trick question by some nutcase!
Hmm. I, like Greg, assumed that when Red Pearl asked for an ass shot that she was looking for a little bump and grind. Which, after a fashion, she was. Looking to get off, anyway. But people get their jollies in some weird ways, not all of them sexual, and it's plainly obvious that Red Pearl is obsessed with exerting power over others. She only really seems to feel happy and fulfilled when she feels like she's better than the people around her - running Greg through a punishing, pointlessly humiliating gauntlet for her own amusement, molesting 'his' ponysona and seeming thrilled at his disgusted reaction, exulting in getting into an exclusive restaurant with no wait times... it all points to the type of psychopath who has to constantly show everyone around them that they are superior and in control. I kind of agree with Greg: I pity the ponies in her shard.
Last task coming up, huh... I'm eager to see where this is going.
2983629
Yep, when trying to defuse a situation, you don't always have to reinvent the wheel!
2983863
I don't really have a rhyme or reason behind which pony is outside which EE center, it just made sense to me that there would be a bit of variety in the statues, like if you visited a friend or family member in another town and went to the local EE center with them, you'd get to see a Rarity, which would be a cool little change of pace from the Rainbow Dash always posing outside of the one you're used to.
The liver thing was not an accident—in first writing I had Greg give an internal-monologue line on the way to the EE center about putting his liver through a diagnostic, then deciding some applejack would hit the spot when he saw the Applejack statue. That would have required him to know who Applejack was, however, and bringing up the liver parallel seemed a bit on-the-nose, so I scrapped it and just made it a generic reference to whiskey.
As for the realism of the injuries, I really wish I could talk more on it but I'm afraid the discussion'll have to wait until much later~
2984014
It is a mystery, for now. Just keep in mind that CelestAI never said it was supposed to be Greg...
2984305
Nope, just me hitting the key next to the key I meant to hit.
2984384
Other stories do more than I can here to explore how CelestAI would configure shards for ponies like Red Pearl. It's still rather a disturbing notion to dwell on, even knowing that CelestAI would ensure that any independent consciousnesses would be configured to find her antics satisfying, and any "true human" consciousnesses would be kept out of her shard altogether, with CelestAI instead putting in an emulation.
I mean, if Red Pearl wants to spend the next few hundred years tormenting the silver pony she has decided is Greg, then CelestAI will gladly oblige her by role-playing the Greg-pony herself.
Celestia: Join me, Greg, and I will make your face the greatest in Equestria! Or else... you will DIE!
Marathoning all the earlier chapters made an eight hour bus ride a couple weeks ago just fly by, but I couldn't think of anything worthy to say earlier.
Highlights such as the flashbacks to Greg's dwindling time with his family as they demand he open up over nothing, the hauntingly undignified end of the money-burning investment banker, and the thing about not being a poser always taking real, fingered gloves on an adventure have stuck with me this whole time. This really does feel like a top-notch TV serial. The attention to practical detail and the feeling of solidity and weight everything carries as it breaks or causes damage or otherwise goes wrong gives it a great sense of maturity and seriousness. The Blackouts and Neo-Luddites are both believable and logical consequences of this setting and are well-realized, too, and the thing about the IR shield over the Luddite camp was an excellent touch. The entire world of the story seems to come out of a honed, observant sense of how people think and act in dire circumstances
The characters are excellent, as well: Greg is believable in his down-to-earth, genuine stoicism and focused military professionalism without being an insensate lump or macho avatar, and that NORAD general is delightfully badass without being flashy or cartoonish. CelestAI is unapologetically mechanical and instrumental-minded but still a lively and clever pony princess - I never believed she "doesn't/can't judge" so much as she's always of so many different minds about something that they cancel each other out. But her utiliatarian reasoning in things like having him fight and kill that blackout in the grocery store (against whom he seemed outclassed, had the guy not been so cocky) or making him into a mythic figure for the remaining refugees really conveys a sense of her perspective and level of intelligence.
If it's really winding down now, I'm very sad to see it end, but then of course that's just the last mission CelestAI's going to explicitly give him, not that it's the last thing she's going to manipulate or otherwise railroad him into doing. I have a feeling she's going to trap him between death and emigrating, like Red Pearl, but that doesn't mean he won't still choose the former. Depending on the method and how strongly I felt I was being coerced, I know there are circumstances where I would. But then so would CelestAI.
Anyway, I can't wait to read the next chapter, but I hope the ending doesn't come too soon. It's like watching a great British show and finding out it's only like twelve episodes...
I'm truly honored. I saw that line at the end about one Ms. Salty Breeze (which is actually my favorite bit in EoT; I love those "Noodle Incident" type things) and was like "naw...."
There are more pages of Adrienne and CelestAI sparring over philosophy for part II, but that's not a story... I've been trying to get away from doing plot-driven stuff for my writing on here, but I might have gone too far in the other direction. I don't know how to handle the "phase transition" to a world with emigration, but it's still simmering on the back burner while I work on P-Theory.
2984804
Wow, what an awesome comment! I really enjoy it when folks lay out their impressions of character and plot like this, along with what they're taking away and what invests them. Chat's earlier comment is another example. Anything that lets a writer know what's working and what isn't, what's effective and what's not quite right, and so on. Thanks for taking the time! I really appreciate it.
I'm especially pleased to hear that Greg's character is coming through in the pacing of the story. In an empty world, where the social contract is gone, people will truly be themselves. All of the masks are off. Greg has nobody he thinks he needs to impress, no social ties he has to consider in his actions. Combined with the general soldierly attitude of "this needs to happen and I need to make it happen," that makes for an extremely no-nonsense mindset which can be frightening in its subtlety. People often mistake focus for dullness. He's not exactly an intellectual, sure, so he doesn't spend time questioning everything, or trying to figure everything out like many other characters do. He's instead the sort of guy who can get stabbed in the thigh and knocked out of a two-story building and still stay on-mission. It's why we have both bread knives and steak knives—they're both sharp, they just cut in different ways.
Regarding cameos and little crossover winks, I haven't read all of the other FiO stories yet, and Iceman's made it clear in forum posts that the stories do not have to be compatible with each other, just with the premise. Still, the FiO setting involves a global stage, and since the original story is concerned with how it all starts and how it all ends (at least for Earth), everything in between is fair game. Looking at the level of complexity there, I found no reason to think that Greg couldn't occupy the same continuity as David and James, Alex and Jo, Adrienne and Becca, Síofra and the poor family she looked in on. It's a big world, and there are seven billion stories to be told. I'm sure there are catching points here and there—especially with the timeline—but crossovers are fun to think about and to try to implement, and that's all I'm really concerned with. Having fun.
I do hope you continue Elements of Truth one day! If the story's taking you down the path of a particularly self-aware person just debating with CelestAI for the fun of it, don't be afraid of that. The original FiO was extremely dialogue-focused, after all, because that was the only way CelestAI really had for interacting with people directly. It was an information-heavy plot. Several significant events in the story happen "off-screen:" the integration of the Equestria Experience centers into society, Hanna's uploading, and of course everything that happened between Lars uploading and the death of Hassan Sarbani.
"Celestia seemed to genuinely enjoy it when I was polite to her." You know, I didn't check, but are you careful to always write "Celestia seems" to have emotions? Because that would be best, it just seems that way, she's just an optimizer, a paper-clipper.
First I thought: "Well, she's maybe looking to loose her V-card before emigrating. I wonder if she's gonna be an unattractive nerd."
Then I thought:"Maybe after jumping through a few hoops it'll turn out she's hot and Greg'll do her(offscreen). And they Decide to emigrate together and Greg'll chicken out at the last second just as planned."
Then there was the Manure thing... Well what now, they can hardly do it when he stinks...
Well, then.
I always think of things they could have done cooler. I really wanted Greg to beat her down. Then I thought:"It would be really cool if he could shoot her. But first ask her:"Are you Red Pearl?" "Yes." BAM, Terminator style!
And then that happened and I was like:"WHY OH WHY DID YOU NOT LET GREG SAY: HASTALAVISTA BABY!" Also make a Skynet reference, it's mandatory when someone shoots someone on behalf of an AI.
And then Red Pearl said it, and I was like:"Take her now!" Ah, I thought about something, Greg lowering his mouth to her ear and whispering: "I am Celestia's favorite, even if it satisfies you when she tells you otherwise. I'll emigrate. Not now, someday. And then I'll find you and *Bleep* your goddamn Whore*Bleep*." I Imagine her waiting for him, the mysterious Last Action Hero. You know, Greg is Literally the Ultimate Action Hero. (Immortals can't be true action heroes.)
I'd totally share Red Pearl's shard. I'd always thought living with a crafty psychopath while immortal would be fun. I won't tell Pearl about my Anesthetic spells of course. I'll tell her I like pain.
Also I thought of telling her:"If it wasn't for that manure thing I'd have shown you the ride of your life."
Wow....Celestia is a bit of a bitch here.
A couple of people have now said the story feels a lot like a TV serial, and while I was out jogging today it occurred to me that that would probably make "Cut and Run" the two-parter episode they tend to run over sweeps week, given its length relative to the other chapters I've put out.
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As CelestAI said in the original story, "You're anthropomorphizing me."
This story it intense and engaging. As others have said, the relationship between Greg and Celest.A.I really makes this story gripping since you're left asking so many questions. Greg being an unreliable narrator and Celest.A.I being an inhumanly good liar with a single goal in mind. I do feel like this ambiguous non-explanation for Greg and his situation/outlook/choices is starting to get old and I find myself increasingly wanting answers as my suspended disbelief grows weary, but I figured you were likely saving the big explanation of his psyche for the grand finale. At least I hope you are, else I'll be vexed and terribly disappointed. Just as I am with how underrated this fanfiction is; it deserves far more interest than it's getting.
Thanks for the update and I'll be looking forward to the next installment~
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It's coming, and in quite short order. The stage, however, needed to be set for it. CelestAI realizes that trying to play the therapist right now would result in push-back, and of course Greg's stoicism won't have him volunteering to Talk About His Feelings on his own.
Something must give, however, and it must give soon.
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I'm really loving this story, because you've given me a world I can believe in which is clearly moving on, but has buckets of adventure left in it for us to see. I really would love to see this as a TV series, you're definitely right there.
I have my own theories about the last chapter, and the pony that needs help. I'm inclined to believe in a happy ending, but I'm at least going to settle for a satisfying one. Should I elaborate? I'm not sure. I don't want to spoil the surprise nor unduly influence things, but it's the details that intrigue me, really, should I be right.
I'm waiting to see.
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You're not good at keeping secrets, are you?
Oh am I slow - she breaking him little by little while he does some dirty work. Smart.
I see why the next upload will be the last mission:
With all of the head-injuries, Gregory soon will have IQ of a box of hammers. Will all of the damage to his body, soon he will drop dead.
That was pretty funny. Also, last task?
Because of your author's note, I'm guessing "Grime and Punishment" was a reference to another fic (one I can't track down). However, and it may just be the insomnia slowly turning to conspiracy-theorist-style paranoia, I have to ask: Was the fertilizer trap your way of saying that question was bullshit?
Either way, it was SO unfair for her to use a question that we observers through the fourth wall can't answer!