“Are you sure about this?” called the cerise filly just a foot below you. She looked from between you and the ground with a worried look on her face, just what you were looking for.
“Ah no worries,” you reassured her waving your hooves at her. “If anything goes wrong, Snowflake can catch me.” Turning your head to the sky you call out, “Right big guy?”
“Yeah,” called the scratchy small voice back in a cloud way above you. You and the filly cocked and eyebrow at this before hearing him mumble and seeing a few tuffs of cloud get kicked around. Then he coughed a bit before trying again with a loud, “YEEAAAAAH!”
“See,” you grin at the filly with a wink, “Perfectly safe.”
“I don’t know,” stated the filly concerned. Her brilliant eyes scanned to various hazards within her eyesight and then wincing. You followed the gazes, a few unturned pitchforks and some trees over twenty feet away. She really did worry too much. “Maybe we should at least tell an adult about this or…”
“It’s the middle of town Cheerilee,” you retorted. “Once I get high enough, everypony will see me anyway. Besides I’ve been flying for over a month now by myself. I can handle this, just relax.”
“Alright,” Cheerilee conceded looking at the ground, “but just don’t try to go too high. It’s only your first try and a lot of adults in town don’t seem to make it much higher than Cloudsdale.”
You had honestly not considered that but you waved off that comment as well. “Just you watch me. I told you my cutie mark is all about flying, I’ll be fine. Besides like Coach Hedge said, ‘no pain no gain.’ So even if I do get a little hurt it’s all so I do better the next time right? Besides, I have eyes like a hawk remember? Nothing’s gonna catch me off guard.”
Finally hanging her head in defeat, Cheerilee trots over to the bench you had set up for her to watch you in.
This was going to be sooooo great. You had been waiting forever to find a way to impress Cheerilee so that you could ask her out without fear of rejection by a friend. And what better way than to show her you were already better than most pegasi your age and could one day show her the stars if you worked hard enough. Then you would, barring something like what happened with your parents didn’t happen between the two of you, propose to her when you were old enough by taking her on a flight and showing her the wonders of the sky you would see as you learned more. Your life would be perfect, and today was the first step in that direction.
You took the time to ready yourself and psych yourself up. There would be little point in going through all this only to blow it because you didn’t stretch right or you lost your nerve at the last second. Snowflake seemed to pump himself up too, well more than usual, as you finally rose yourself past his cloud. This was your starting point and you’d need speed to go much higher to avoid getting dizzy like your dad warned you the last time you went flying.
The hum of your wings beating grew louder and louder as the wind was caught by them, taking to your command as you tried to lift yourself higher into the sky. Then in one final push you were off! Into the high air and within seconds already higher than you had ever been. You dare not look back down, seeing your friends as nothing but specs may make you lose your nerve. Higher and higher you rose, wind blasting past your face far harder than you had ever felt. Finally you dared to slow down and float for a bit so see how far you had gotten.
“Are you done now?” asked Cheerilee. You looked down, and to your dismay you had barely gotten off the ground. In fact in your haze you somehow angled yourself so that you were closer to the outskirts of town and still not higher than where Snowflake was. If there was a time you wanted to hide it would be right now.
You couldn’t look down due to this embarrassment but in the distance you could see the city of Cloudsdale. Wonder filled you as you beheld that city. Never having seen it properly till now you knew then and there you’d one day want to live in such a place if it meant you could fly for the rest of your life.
That was when you saw it: a blue blur. It trailed a mini rainbow behind it with such grace as it rocketed above you. Was this something Cloudsdale did on the cloudy days? Show off stuff Ponyville could not see outright? That didn’t seem correct, and your thought was confirmed when you noticed a colt flying a little slower zooming above you as well. Was he racing that ball through those cloud hoop things?
Calling upon your talent for sight you focused more on this odd race. That blur was in fact a filly, slightly smaller than the colt with a wild mane of every color of the rainbow. No wonder you had mistaken her for an odd-looking ball with how fast she sped through the skys. Still your eyes were able to keep up with every movement as the two raced through the hoops in the far distance that no normal colt could see.
The two foals smacked into each other several times before they started their dive. Almost instantly the colt spun out after another crash by the filly. She was now going for the cloud hoop near you and gaining speed. You’d never seen anything move so fast in your life. It was captivating. Your eyes dared not look away from this wonder as they followed the filly swooping down faster and faster toward her goal.
Then finally she was at the hoop, and in that instant a flash and the sound of thunder rolled out of her direction. A rainbow light blasting out…right at your face. It was so bright that your entire world went white, and the force of the blast sent you tumbling out of the sky. You mind was frozen, unable to process what was going on. You could hear Cheerilee call out your name, and then nothing. Just the feeling of intense pain in the back of your skull and the white was replaced by a slow crawl of darkness.
Just the summarization makes me pissed at Rainbow.
I call four more chapters until Rainbow finds out.
(faves at own risk)
I shall give this try! *faves to read later* Well off to work! Haha
Should be 'Coach'. Also, there should be a comma between 'Besides' and 'like'.
Again, there should be a comma between 'Besides' and 'I'.
Should be 'propose'
Something seems a bit off with the way you worded this sentence. I get what you were trying to say, but the way you put it seems a bit weird. Perhaps try something along the lines of, "The hum of your wings grew louder and louder, and the wind swept by quicker, as you tried to increase your altitude."
Should be "an odd-looking ball". And since this ball is already moving, the second highlighted statement should be changed to "was going."
Since "eyes" is the plural form, change "it" to "they".
I demand MOAR.
Maybe about 20.... 30.... ish.
2293197
Thank ya kindly. Especially the Purpose part. Would never have thought to look into that without a spell check since grammar is more of a weakness for me.
With a message like that, it makes it a real turn off to really even read the fic. Fav at your own risk. Not the kind of message you should broadcast mate. I was interested when I initially read the summary, that is until I saw that note, and then the story length. I think I'll put a read later for this one and come back to it when you have more done. Peace!
Is it just me or are there a mass of references in this chapter?
2294354 I kinda figured I had too. My followers know that although right now it reads I have 7 stories, two of which are cancelled, I actually have another 5 I just deleted off the site due to how long it takes to update without such a posting.
When I pay attention to a story it gets updated between weekly and monthy, but when I don't it could be well over six months.
I just didn't want readers to really like this like the flutterdash thing I wrote, only for me to stop for 3 months, post a chapter that did nothing to further the plot and then delete it because it would be another 3 months till the next update.
the line is there more for me so i don't feel bad about followers who stick around because at least I warned them before hand that it would be so and thus I'm not compelled to cut it off completely.
2294428 pretty accidental if it is, I'm so used to writing my main 2nd person where I actually named that OC's pet Waspinator and recently made a Rise of the Guardian's mention with references to other stuff that I sort of barely notice when I make ones to the show anymore.
Nice
2294833
Well I accidently put a Dishonoured reference in so...
2292455 Ok now your creeping me out. Reading that same stuff I read or plan to read.
2295189 Heh, I love to read so I'm always on the prowl for good or new fanfics; 1,417 favourites so far. It should say something about me haha.
2295212 Well considering I have stories to read and time to kill we pretty much like the same stuff.
Hmm... interesting...