The Dreaded Love Bird

by Darkonshadows

Miscellaneous Mornings

Note: Now to test the waters or in other words my characterization of each pony.

Slowly in the cusp of a dark void Kazooie stirred and opened her eyes, lifting up a hoof she called out to the plot device from her sleeping spot in the inner sanctum of her backpack. The plot device zipped into her hoof and she checked her to-do list on it.

1. Collect Food for Fluttershy’s animals. (Optional)
2. Feed Fluttershy’s animals before she wakes up. (Optional)
3. Map out surroundings for later mini-map usage. (Optional)
4. Force Fluttershy to accept romantic gender interests. (Inactive)
5. ??? (Inactive)
6. Profit. (Inactive)
7. Find solar butts apprentice and drive her crazy. (Inactive)
8. Force solar butt into awkward relationship if at all possible with student. (Inactive)
9. Find adult male pony willing to date adult female zebra. (Active)
10. Send quirky letter home to Banjo via magic. (Inactive)
11. Pizza time. (Always)

“I’ve got a lot on my plate today… I wonder how many more quests I can add to this before the day is out.” Kazooie muttered as she lifted her other hoof out to the void of space and summoned a slice of Vegetarians Delight pizza as eating meat in her current form wouldn’t agree with her. There was always time for pizza before she got out of the backpack to greet the new world with her antics.

Now the scene changes to a nice quaint apple farm with banjo music playing in the background, something Kazooie would say she could hear quite clearly despite the fact that the background music doesn’t exist to any other pony.

Applejack was waking up to a nice beautiful morning the sun was shining, the day was not quite out there yet and she had plenty of apple bucking to do. There was nothing better than a hard day of honest work for the orange farm pony as she set out to make breakfast only to find Pinkie already in her kitchen sitting quietly at the table doing a crossword puzzle in what appeared to be today’s news.

“Pinkie what are you doing here?” Applejack saw Pinkie look up from her musings with a pencil in hoof. She idly took notice that the destruction of parts of Canterlot Castle and the kidnapping of a phoenix made the front page.

“I’m doing a crossword puzzle, like duh! Now what’s a five letter word for young female horse, what is a horse anyway?” The pink pony was always one for being weird and out of place.

“That’s not quite what I meant Pinkie, what are you doing in my home and how did you even get in here? I know I made sure as to lock all the doors, windows and anything that wasn’t locked I made sure you couldn’t have possibly got in that way.” Taking a moment to let it sink in Applejack waited patiently for Pinkie to explain why she broke into the Apple Family’s house.

“Well isn’t it obvious, I’m here for breakfast!” Smiling to herself, Pinkie thought she was a smart pony.

“You mean the same breakfast you keep stealing from me every morning for the past five weeks? I know I make a good Apple Flaps, but are they seriously that good that you have to come back and steal them every single day?” It was beginning to aggravate Applejack that Pinkie was affectionate with her cooking, couldn’t she just stick to ingesting sugar over at sugar cube corner?

“But it’s the only way I’ll ever get a healthy meal in the morning and I do actually pay for them! I can’t be labeled Pudgy Pie for the rest of my life you know! Besides what are a few pancakes between friends Jackie?” The hang dog pout she put on her face was always hard to say no to and at least Pinkie actually paid for the meals she kept stealing. Cost for the supplies rendered and everything, she just left the money behind on the table.

“Fine, I’ll get started on the Apple Flaps. Just don’t think I’d do this for any pony Pinkie, only my closest friends that are like family to me. I’m curious as to why you don’t just ask for the recipe. It’s none too hard to make.” It was a curiosity Applejack had wondered about and Pinkie had this knowing look on her face.

“Because even if I did have the recipe every pony knows I’d find some way to make it sweeter, that or I would add icing or sugar to it in unnecessary amounts. Why do you think I specifically state that I come here for a ‘HEALTHY’ meal?” Given what Pinkie knew Applejack should know about her, it should make a lot of sense. Eating Applejacks trademark Apple Flaps helped Pinkie cut back on overloading herself on sugary treats by a moderate margin or otherwise she’d be swallowing a dozen muffins every morning like Derpy. At least Derpy had the excuse that she’s constantly flying everywhere and needs the energy; Pinkie had to be hyperactive to keep as thin as she does.

“Well all right then sugar cube. Also I think you were looking for the word ‘Filly’.” It was noted by Applejack that Pinkie was getting a little round in the stomach, but she doesn’t dare say anything to that end no matter how honest it would be.

“Thanks Applejack.” Pinkie scribbled down the answer on the newspaper.

Now the scene shifts to the quaint Library home of Twilight Sparkle as she does her early morning preparations. She used magic to solve all her morning woes like every other morning; she hardly got any sleep last night looking up all kinds of birds. She has yet to find anything of what Celestia described as similar in appearance to a phoenix but with a different feel to its nature and there was a fact that it could actually talk.

“Spike can you please get started on making breakfast, I’m going to look up a book of spells on clairvoyance to find out if I can look into the newest problem to arrive in Equestria.” Turning to the wall of books of her library, Twilight started looking through the C section for what she was looking for. She eventually came across a recently made book titled Classical Clairvoyance Compendium and brought it down with her magic. Looking at the index she quickly started to flip through the pages.

“Linking lives, color capturing cauldron, magical motion making mirror, viewing vase, puppet perception, observational orb and a sight beyond sight spell, these all look rather difficult to find the stuff for them.” If Twilight was going to use one of these spells she might as well get to reading. First one linked the user to another pony’s senses and there was a possibility of painful feedback if the pony cast upon got injured. Twilight quickly drummed that spell out as it required the pony to be present and willing for it to work.

“Hey Twilight what do you want with your toast this morning?” Spike called out from the kitchen, he where he was currently toasting bread by tossing it in the air and breathing on it.

“Some Haycon would be nice! Don’t own a cauldron, but Zecora does. Though I really don’t want to bother Zecora with this situation if she’s busy brewing up something new. I have a mirror, but the spell requires it talk back to me and to ask it odd questions. The vase one is promising but Rarity lost her last vase three days ago and the high quality needed for it isn’t cheap.” Twilight was running out of choices, she really didn’t want to resort to the magical motion making mirror spell.

“Okay, but do you want some eggs? I know ponies don’t normally eat eggs too much but I’m just asking to be nice.” Spike was already working on frying some Haycon; it was sizzling in a frying pan as he kept a low stream of fire flowing from his mouth.

“I’ll only have one and make it fried, don’t forget to bust the yoke early this time. Puppet Perception, if you have a vague idea of what your target looks like you can cast this spell to see what they are currently seeing. Requirements are an object belonging specifically to said target. Observational Orb, see Princess Luna for details and only if you are into that kind of thing? Something tells me I don’t want to know what she’s been up to since she’s returned. Sight beyond sight spell, requires a sword and a cat’s eye jewel embedded in the handle. Sometimes has the chance to show future events as much as current ones, but it will always give the user some information they’ll need to know. Note sword doesn’t have to be battle worthy and can be ornamental.” Twilight read that last one out of curiosity, she was just going to go with Puppet Perception one as she knew Fluttershy still had the feathers from the last time they saw Philomena.

The story now takes a view on what a fashion master known as Rarity is doing, in a fashion boutique that looks like carousel on the hillside.

Sleeping in bed Rarity gently snored and dreamed about stallions. That is until a stallion known as Blueblood scared the others way just by sight alone and he smiled at her with evil intent. Rarity woke up with a fright and pulled off her sleep mask, gasping for breath and glad that she didn’t wake up next to her worst nightmare. It was someone so self absorbed and pompous that it made even Rarity think twice about nobles and popularity, but still, she did like hanging out with Mr. Pants and he did have a few nice gentle colts as friends.

Getting up and stretching out her delicate body, Rarity made way for the bathtub to draw a bath before Sweetie awoke this morning. Rarity was glad that she was able to get her beauty sleep in before the Blueblood nightmare woke her up like an alarm clock in the morning. Then she would set out working on dresses of unique designs like she always would, it was always a good thing to get an early start on a job like hers. Now if only she can get her hair back into its usual style as it was currently hanging limply around her withers. Unicorns could easily do many things with their own manes as well as others with a little help from their magic and Rarity in particular liked her own unique hairstyle, but could sometimes be fickle about it.

Up in the clouds on another edge of Ponyville was Rainbow Dash sleeping in her bed; this was never unusual as the winged equine was kind of lazy at her job by consistently sleeping in. She holds that if there are any problems she can fix in under ten seconds, then she’s not really needed to work the weather and she’s generally right anyway or at least thinks she is.

Hotheaded and easy to anger Rainbow is still the most loyal to her friends and all her friends were of the feminine persuasion, which tends to earn her questionable looks at times. It didn’t bother Dash because she was too much into athletics or her dreams to care about love, if she knew it was lonely at the top of the world she probably would be seeking companionship.

Nothing would be a better companion for the pegasus of loyalty then someone who would stay loyal to her like her pet tortoise named Tank. Rainbow left him a few lettuce leaves and half a carrot to munch on before she went to sleep yesterday. Truth of the matter is, Rainbow Dash was needy of attention and craved it a little too much. She hated losing, but she hated being ignored far more than that.

Fluttershy thought she was having a bad dream when she crawled out of her bed that morning. As soon as she made for the steps to the stairs she saw Philomena and Owlowiscious sleeping next to each other on the couch. A particular blue backpack was hanging from her coat and hat rack which was mostly used by Rarity anyway.

“Hello… anyone there?” looking around she noticed that many of the animals that lived in her house weren’t there at the moment, but walking into the kitchen she saw the familiar red pony that kidnapped Philomena sitting at her kitchen table playing cards with a hummingbird, a mouse and a flying squirrel.

“I still think you’re cheating you stupid hummingbird. Oh, good morning Peebs nice of you to join us. Looks like you need to freshen up a bit before you can give me a tour of town. Already fed all the animals so don’t worry about the petting zoo operation you’re running here.” If anything feeding all the animals was way too easy for Kazooie, stuff all the food into the magic backpack and selectively pour out whatever was needed at a moment’s notice.

“Um… okay?” Fluttershy walked away from the table and silently frowned, taking care of the animals was her job and someone just took her morning ritual away from her. She didn’t know what to feel as she made her way for the bathtub, her pink mane unkempt and her tail dragging slowly on the ground.

“I swear that girl needs the love of a partner and not just you guys, not that hanging with animals all day is a bad thing. Royal Flush, Hah I got this one!” Looking at the hummingbird with a smug grin Kazooie had finally toppled her wily opponent, but only once and even then she still didn’t get back all her bird seed.

Comments

[Mother3Forever]

Epic Story, But It's past midnight so I gotta sleep now. I'll finish it tommorrow.

ALLONS-Y!!!

[Fluffy-Boi]

1. Collect Food for Fluttershy’s animals. (Optional)

2. Feed Fluttershy’s animals before she wakes up. (Optional)

3. Map out surroundings for later mini-map usage. (Optional)

4. Force Fluttershy to accept romantic gender interests. (Inactive)

5. ??? (Inactive)

6. Profit. (Inactive)

7. Find solar butts apprentice and drive her crazy. (Inactive)

8. Force solar butt into awkward relationship if at all possible with student. (Inactive)

9. Find adult male pony willing to date adult female zebra. (Active)

10. Send quirky letter home to Banjo via magic. (Inactive)

11. Pizza time. (Always)

You have a good sense of humor.