The Dreaded Love Bird

by Darkonshadows

Wonder Wings pt. 3

“At times you just got to let yourself fall and trust that others will catch you.”

Kazooie pulled a back flip in mid-air and positioned herself into a slow swan dive with her wings played out wide. She fell much to the crowds shock as the leader of the Wonder Wings, Kazooie named it after her rather fantastic invincibility ability that works better when you were using it to protect something. That’s just the fantastic thing about the Wonder Wings; it could deflect any attack except for the heaviest of forces and even repel deadly fire and magic.

As she fell Kazooie looked up at the two ponies chasing her towards the ground Rainbow and Shadow Wing were to time this just right. As she fell she wondered if Applejack would understand what she told her before her team was to fly, that pony had been indecisive about approaching Kazooie and her team was the last one to go on for varying reasons. Hopefully Applejack wouldn’t get mad when she later found out that a zebra might start squatting on her farm, much less that it was suggested by Kazooie to grow a few medical herbs and plants outside of the Ever Free Forest, also that Big Mac agreed to it.

Her time in Equestria was almost up, although she was having second thoughts about leaving or whether or not she was taking Screwball with her. Goodness knows the video game realms are full of fresh food that comes out of walls and wall chicken was the best thing to eat and it wasn’t even technically meat. Mare-Do-Well did her part to distract Rainbow quite well, oh would she be in for a shock when she found out Kazooie had set the scenario up for Rainbow to try and divert those shells away from her and initially kicking her unending loyalty in the pants without knowing it.

Now all she had to do was fly, for it was near the end of their act and both Bugsy and Mare-Do-Well were doing a perfect slow dance routine to Rainbow and Shadow Wings fast and furious flying. Kazooie managed to keep a lot of the attention off of her, which is until she came into the finale which involved her pulling a trust fall. It was entirely on Rainbow whether she died or not, not that Rainbow knew she could survive at least a thousand deaths before getting worried about filling up on extra lives.

Looking to her wings Kazooie could see the slight white vapor coming off them as she fell, almost five hundred feet and counting until the conga line and both Mare-Do-Well and Bugsy were in position for it. All the ponies’ eyes were on her and Rainbow too busy to notice it, but she had organized all five of them to pull this off and now both of them were also doing a slow fall out of view of all the other ponies, but soon they’d pull it all together or else this was going to hurt and the other two were going to need a little medical attention as they started their falls a lot lower to the ground.

“Never fear what love can do, to you. Cause I believe we’ll find a way.” Kazooie sang in tune with the music as she fell toward the ground at terminal velocity, trying so hard to resist that small bit of programming that said to perform somersaults until the world blacks out. “This I say to you!”

“Have you ever really seen a rainbow?” Rainbow shot by Kazooie stopping her from hitting the ground in the wake of her speed and colors filling the air dragging Kazooie slightly forward into the air falling much slower now.

“Have you ever really touched the clear blue sky?” Sang a slightly masculine, then Shadow Wing swooped by lifting Kazooie higher as she formed up a in front of Kazooie behind Rainbow high above them.

“Have you ever really seen a falling star?” Bugsy voice sang in a feminine pitch as he shot down blazing and in front of Kazooie before pulling up behind and above her and gliding in the straight line they formed.

“Here me cry out tonight!” Kazooie yelled as Mare-Do-Well’s final swoop stopped her slowly falling momentum completely just a foot above the ground causing her to line up with the rest of them above herself in their midst. Mare-Do-Well took up position at the end of the line and then they started shadowing Rainbow’s gliding movement’s as they weren’t flying fast at all.

Three of them sang as they all pulled a large double loop before they peeled out of it with all the ponies in a reverse order surprising the crowd as they never saw the swap happen but now Mare-Do-Well was leading them, followed by Bugsy, Kazooie, Shadow Wing and Rainbow.

They pulled into a flying X formation with Mare-Do-Well and Bugsy leading them up into the air, Kazooie was in the middle and Rainbow with Shadow Wing at the back. They started to constantly swap into each other’s flying position, making a complicated weave as they flew up in the air until it ended up with Rainbow in the middle.

Rainbow nosed into a dive with the three other ponies and changeling. The finale ends when they all hit the ground after pulling off another while falling weave. After each of them swept in front of Rainbow nearly hitting each other as they swept into her path before flapping their wings and slowing their descent, Rainbow angled herself out of the way for Kazooie to be back in the middle and performed a flip just before she hit the ground on all fours at the same time as the other corners did. Kazooie landed in the middle standing up on her hind legs singing the last line.

“I will never see the sun rise again!” Kazooie sang ending on that note, there was a round of applause from the entire stadium. If only the ponies knew that Kazooie sang that line in honest and Applejack from her seat in the stands stared in consternation at what it meant for Pinkie’s friend as it was slowly ebbing into the late evening of the day.

“Okay… I’ll admit, that music does add a bit of touch to the flying performance you pulled out there. Well your entire team gets first place for that little stunt at the end where you all ended back in the original places that the X began, that looked complicated.” Spitfire walked up to them and was about to lift one of Kazooie’s front hooves, but stopped when she saw Kazooie nudging her head at Rainbow and smiled. She lift Rainbows hoof much to her confusion. “Let’s hear it for the Wonder Wings every pony! They just might start making us Wonderbolt’s look bad.”

“Okay now for the announcements of ponies we want to see in the room with the Wonderbolts team, these are not confirmations that you are going to become a Wonderbolt. Some of these are just tips we give to the few ponies we really liked who flew out here today.” Soaring cleared his voice as he prepared to call out to the ponies that had caught their interests. “Turbulence, Raindrops, Surprise, Bugsy…”

The crowd was surprised that the Wonderbolts were actually willing to entertain the idea of a Changeling on their team; they had missed a few names in their shock.

“Rainbow Dash, Mare-Do-Well, Shadow Wing and the Princess of Adventure apparently, would you all come to the back room with us? Well that is if it’s okay with you and when you’re done making yourself smores princess… is that dragon magic?” All the twenty nine contestants and the audience looked towards the instant campfire and a Kazooie lighting it a bit more with a flame from her mouth and a quickly levitated the marshmallow out of it to between two graham crackers with a bar of chocolate on top of one. In fact there were several smores floating in the air around her and she looked up to see every pony staring at her.

“What… I kind of need the energy and nothing tastes better then psychonaut brand smores.” Despite the bland delivery there was a lot of chuckling to be heard, despite not many understanding what a psychonaut was. “Want one? I’m only in Equestria for today as I’m literally leaving before the sun rises tomorrow.”

“But how will I carry out my promise then Kazooie?” Pinkie trotted up to her finally free of that ridiculous armor, not many a pegasus including Rainbow who had just seen Pinkie up in the stands seconds ago knew exactly when she had appeared but she had spooked a lot of them.

“Pinkie… why don’t you just tell your friends what you promised me and how it’ll never come to pass, because I’m not letting you hold up to that promise. Besides the fact that it’s a fool’s errand and even a fool as great as you need to know when to stop trying. You’ve probably befriended all the ponies in Ponyville and everywhere else you can just to try and find me one… not going to happen even if I wanted it to.”

Pinkie deflated as Kazooie farted an ice egg onto the fire and magically shoved a smore forcefully into Pinkie's mouth which she begrudgingly chewed. Kazooie cantered up to the rest of the flyers called out followed Soarin, Rainbow walked up to Kazooie as she levitated another smore to her mouth.

“What the hay, what did you do to Pinkie to make her that depressed!” Rainbow said as they trotted along a bit angry at Kazooie.

“Nothing that she isn’t already doing to herself, it’s not my fault she made me a subject of her first Pinkie Promise.” Kazooie said without looking back at the eyes staring sorrowfully at her or batting an eye at what she was going to reveal.

“Well then tell me what she promised you.” Rainbow said a bit miffed, Bugsy, Surprise, Mare-Do-Well and Shadow Wing all were walking alongside her now. This was something they were all interested in.

“It’s complicated, but the gist of it is that she wants to help me to find love for myself instead of others.” Rainbow almost immediately stopped, but kept pace as they walked into the room and sat down to wait.

“So all she wants of you is to help you find a date?” Rainbow said flatly.

“It’s more complicated then you think… Love is never easy to find as what you and Fluttershy have, you’re welcome by the way. Also why can’t you just make your own flight team… the only thing your lacking is some leadership skills and it can’t all be about you all the time. I even made our performance so everyone got a chance to shine even Bugsy here.” Kazooie saw the look on Rainbow’s face; she was considering everything up to this point. For some reason Rainbow didn't think the 'you're welcome' was meant for her.

“You and Pinkie are random… really random.” Rainbow stated all of the sudden looking at Kazooie.

“Yep and that’s why she can’t love me herself. Maybe you can help her chase Applejack around a bit, there’s a pony that could use a little more absurdity in her straight forward simple life.” Kazooie rested her belly on the floor as Soarin and the rest of the Wonderbolts came in.

“Okay first things first, we want to know who the ponies are under those masks.” Spitfire said with eager anticipation. “Especially you Mare-Do-Well, I have a hunch of who you already are.”

“So do I…” Rainbow muttered as Mare-Do-Well looked in her direction before coming forward to the Wonderbolts and pulled her mask off with a hoof earning a few gasps. Nobody had truly expected to see the head of the mare that tested the first blue shell.

“Uh… hey Rainbow Dash…” Derpy Hooves said nervously. “Sorry about the trouble I gave you in the race. Oh and can you please stop thinking that me and Ditzy are sisters we’ve done forty seven blood tests to prove we aren’t, though we’re really good friends I’m really tired of all the needling.”

“That’s no problem at all Derpy. Then who was… no way… you mean to tell me that.” Rainbow immediately turned to Shadow Wing who was looking as nonchalant as possible. “Fluttershy is that you?”

The pony reached up and slowly pulled off the mask and shook her mane free that was matted tightly to her body, slowly she started pulling the rest of the suit off and the finally got her tail out from being plastered under her belly. She shook that out too and then she looked at Rainbow Dash giving a sheepish smile as she hoofed the Amaze O’ Gaze Glasses to Kazooie who stashed them in her backpack. In exchange Kazooie passed a bottle of sour smelling substances and Fluttershy drank it without question, restoring her appearance to normal from its sweat and costume riddled look almost immediately.

“Um… surprise?” Fluttershy said hoping that her friend that she loved didn’t hate her for showing her up in the race. Rainbow didn’t want to think about the fact that she had nailed Fluttershy with one of those shells now. Fluttershy flew awesomely out there, but how… when did she get to be that cool? The male like voice, it was one that sounded like her on poison joke, which never has the same effect twice… so how did she manage that? It was quickly explained that Fluttershy could really pitch her voice low ever since the incident with the poison joke, she did lead a bird choir after all.

“Well now there’s a surprise and I thought Surprise would give us one herself.” Spitfire received a pie in the face seconds later and everyone started laughing. Surprise high hoofs Kazooie with a vibrant smile.

With Pinkie at this very moment, we have her mouth going at a wild hundred miles per hour only to be stopped by a cupcake shoved into it by Rarity.

“Dear, could you please calm down just a bit?” Rarity had never seen Pinkie so frantic or her hair so straight well except that one time with her birthday party.

“But Kazooie is leaving Equestria soon; please tell me you have something to counteract a teleport spell… please?” Pinkie was almost pleading as she looked at Twilight.

“I think I might be able to do something, but I need to know what that promise you made to her was.” Twilight looked around and noticed that something was missing. “She took the armor… huh…”

“I made her the promise of my lifetime… and I really don’t want to break a Pinkie Pie Promise but it is still one of the most important ones I’ve ever made. It just seems like she doesn’t want me to help her even though I promised that she will find love one day.” Twilight blinked confusedly at Pinkie’s downtrodden look.

“You love her as a friend right, isn’t that enough?” Twilight said putting a hoof around Pinkie who just gave her a flat look.

“For her maybe, but that’s not the kind of love I was talking about. You take everything in the scientific manner, have you never once wondered what it was like to be immortal and without somepony to share that very long amount of time with. There’s no science for emotions Twilight and if there was I’d bet Kazooie is the master of them.” Pinkie was agitated, but her mane started to inflate itself slowly. “Have you once never thought that it’s a lonely existence to have a crazy hankering for adventure and be lonely at the same time that nobody will travel with you as you walk down so many roads doing crazy things that could kill you without thinking about it twice? Take Celestia for instance she confides in a phoenix because it’s the only thing with a lifespan that could possibly understand her, aside from another alicorn like Luna. We must have done her the world’s biggest favor saving her sister you know, it’s probably why the princess always looks to you in a positive manner no matter what. You love friends and family, yet you’ll never stop and think about something that you can selfishly hold to yourself and say its part of you.”

“Why Pinkie darling, I didn’t know you were a romantic.” Though Rarity was looking quite starry eyed, Pinkie popped up in front of her without warning with a frown on her face.

“That’s just it, I’m not a romantic, I’m a Pinkie! There’s a major difference there, I know every pony in Ponyville and that’s mostly out of my first Pinkie Pie Promise driving me to find someone for my friend from when I was a little filly. It’s helped me make tons of friends and the only matchmaking I’ve ever done was with Cranky, but that was also because I know every single pony in Ponyville and there is no pony for Kazooie unless it’s going to be a friend or family. I can befriend almost anypony, well except Gilda, but I’m still working on that and I have yet to find anything that could fit or so much as work with someone more random then me. So can you forgive me for being a little stressed that I can’t seem to find Kazooie a special friend, not to mention she already pointed out one that would work for me and even if I’ve been turned down that she had three alternatives on the backburner already? If anyone can match and make it’s her because she knows what it take for a relationship to work because of how much time she’s spent with her brother and if birds don’t know well enough about love then bears knowing bee’s do!” Stopping her tirade she had three friends staring at her and her mane had become puffy once again though something was completely off about it.

Elsewhere having finished labeled off tips and sent several ponies from the room.

“So now let’s hand out the medals for impressive showmareship. Fluttershy you were first place in the race, though I’m pretty sure it was because of Kazooie angling things in your favor. Second place goes to you Kazooie please don’t come back next year especially to Cloudsdale and third place to Rainbow. Also for best team the Wonder Wings hoofs down and best spirit on a team goes to Surprise here with her team the Pop Tarts.” Spitfire handed out the awards and now looked to the eager faces of the ponies that were left behind along with a hopeful changeling, Turbulence and Rainbdrops were still there. “Okay now it’s time to say something, Fluttershy I know you don’t want to be a Wonderbolt but you’re really great at drafting and gliding. Also keeping a level head is why I’m going to leave you up as an honorary Wonderbolt even if you decline, plus you can keep yourself separate from your costume which is useful as being a Wonderbolt is not what our lives is all about though it does become a very big part of it. What do you say?”

“Thank you… but I really don’t want to fly in front of big crowds again… unless some pony special asked me to, I’ve had enough of excitement to last me several lifetimes just by doing stuff with my friends and following my heart around.” Fluttershy became squeamish and squeaky under all the attention she was getting, Rainbow flared her wings and stood in front of her with a glare at every pony looking in their direction getting them to stop.

“Next up, Rainbow… we need a rival team, think you can get one started up with these ponies and changeling? I’m just going to say right now, you’re too good for the Wonderbolts if you’re able to swallow your pride for a jerk like princess Kazooie here. Besides you’d never be happy with us anyway, even if it is your dream… just think about it.” The shocked look would not drop off of Rainbows face, but then she smiled at Spitfire. “You’re all dismissed except for you Turbulence… We’re going to need you as a reserve member to maybe even out Rainbow when she gets her own team up and running.”

As they left the room the ponies went their separate ways. Before Kazooie disappeared she stopped Bugsy to discuss how to better his species as a whole and that he should probably start hanging out with Rainbow in the next few minutes with a hint that love was about to start flying. Rainbow followed Fluttershy and put her right hoof around the shy mare, the changeling stood in the background watching curiously.

“Fluttershy, do you realize that you have an opportunity for what I dream of.” Seeing the saddened look on Fluttershy’s face Rainbow smiled.

“I know how much being a Wonderbolt meant to you.” Fluttershy said slowly not meeting Rainbows eyes until a mouth met her lips and broke into strong kiss, one including tongue in mouth. Fluttershy was about ready to pass out when she heard Rainbow declare something pulling away; she’d thought it would take longer.

“I’m thinking of taking up Spitfire on her challenge to get my own militia slash acrobatic flying team going, but that wasn’t what I was talking about. I love you Fluttershy… so want to be one of my Wonder Wings? ” Rainbow didn’t get an answer as Fluttershy passed out in her hooves, she liked the sound of Kazooie’s special ability and her wings were stiff enough to emulate it or possibly do all those other cool tricks she does with her own like that flying sparking yo-yo thing. She didn’t think Kazooie would mind her stealing the name. “Eh, doesn’t really matter as long as I never decide to go on tour or far from my close friends or the pony I can finally say I love.”